#quarantine writing

You have quite a funny way of expressing adoration
Or maybe I’m just imagining things
Bored and lonely with nothing better to do
Than pine for your adoration!

They say I gotta stop living in fear
But damnit, I’m afraid

Expected to ride the choppy waves
As if I’m on a damn lazy river

My raft the bodies of those who don’t seem to matter
I don’t know if it would be worse to recognize a face
Or to become one of the unrecognized ones…

Thought that the thoughts would stay at bay as we grew closer,
But, I guess that they never truly go away

So, what do I do now?
Accept that the thoughts will always be there?
Or just…push everyone
Away.

So then, I can at least be positive as to where they stand…

It’s an inconvenience to prevent the spread of COVID
Concealing my face is like concealing myself from experiencing the world
Using hand sanitizer is like burning my hands off
Melting my flesh off

Can’t say no to a social event!
My life revolves around my social identity
More so than it revolves around being able to breathe out of my lungs!

How do I plan for the future when the world is in disarray?
Dystopia
Filled with phobia
Of death
And simply taking a step
Out of my home.

I hope to freeze to death in hell’s flames
Before COVID or air pollution chokes the life out of me!

December reminds me that I have loved
But that I’m not loved
At least, not loved enough for someone
To want me to be a part of their holiday celebration

Our love is not worth celebrating.