#source tumblr
julian : you think that disapproving glare works on me after all the times i’ve seen it?
alison : if you want something bad, you’ve gotta work for it. it’s time to break out the “p” word.
mike : paul blart : mall cop?
alison : the other “p” word.
mike :
mike : paul blart : mall cop 2?
pat : i cant do stress, it’s bad for the baby.
robin : what baby?
pat :me.
thomas : people don’t write things on the walls of the ladies’ room.
alison : have you been in a ladies’ room?
thomas : of course not! i know i have the sexual charisma of a bad boy, but i certainly don’t have the manners of one.
robin : 2019 goals. punch the sun in the face; punch god in the face; shake hands with the moon, i can respect the moon; punch myself in the face.
mary : i don’t know how to read! but neither did jesus!
julian : god i hate inflation. the financial concept, not the fetish. love the fetish!
kitty : i got arrested for being too cool.
fanny : charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence.
thomas : being ignored, now that i am mature, is fine i suppose.
thomas :
thomas :
thomas : this is a lie, i’m on the verge of tears.
captain : *unbuttoning shirt* god, it’s so hot in here.
julian : i know, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?
julian : *hugs the captain*
captain : what was that!?
julian : uh.. affection?
captain : disgusting. do it again.
thomas : i’m so hurt.
pat : we are all hurt.
thomas : shut up! god. just go sit over there.
Minako: So today as a prank I made a sheet music printout of Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball” and replaced the name with “Christmas Time Meditation” and deleted the words and I’m gonna put it in with the church music and see if the pianist notices.
Minako: He noticed and now I can add “yelled at by two priests at once to my list of accomplishments.
Apollo: Listen up, fives, a ten is speaking.
Later——
Apollo: Artemis, can we talk? One ten to another.
Artemis: I’m an eleven, but continue.
Adulting is soup and I am a fork
– Wylan when he first started living in Ketterdam
Will: Hey I heard you like bad boys
Nico: Not really
Will: Oh thank god
Nico: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake
Jason: You’re literally making a Valentine’s day card for Will right now.
Nico *pointing his hot glue gun threateningly*: You’re on thin fucking ice
Nico: I found out my sexuality yesterday.
Jason: Oh, did you? That’s great!
Nico: Yeah, I’m yarrsexual.
Jason:Wh–
Nico: You know?
Jason:N-no…
Nico: I be attracted to pirates matey.
Jason:
Jason: You can be so weird sometimes.
Kaz: We could kill them.
Wylan: *sigh* Why is murder your answer to everything?
hal, to barry: animals sit in the woods and scream “I WANT TO FUCK!!!!!!” and that’s just the culture
bruce, from across the room, scrolling thru his kids instagrams: u can do that too, if u aren’t a coward
