aight im drunk im 22 im cis im 99% sure this is a trans guy meme but,,, i experiuence this too dont worry this is a male experience i love u all ur wonderful and strong
I meant to add captuons like ur calid and all thar shit vut i hit the wronfg button oops
Cis allies if you’re not on his level don’t even try
Like and reblog if your account is a safe space for trans lesbians. It feels like trans lesbians in particular get shamed and ridiculed a lot by people in and out of the community. If you’re reading this I want to let you know you’re valid and I hope your safe and doing well.
Just so yall know, there’s a great website called transbucket where people can post before and after pictures of their top and bottom surgeries with info on who their surgeon was, what the cost was, how they like it, and a place for more detailed comments. It’s free. U gotta create a login to view the pictures and post, which is kinda nice for privacy reasons. Oh and I think it’s mostly for americans, but I could be wrong
My dad told me that he has a coworker who’s a trans woman. She was married to this girl before her transition and they remained together after it. Everyone at work respects her pronouns. My dad is in a chiefing position at his office and he told me that nobody jokes behind her back. She and her wife have two cute dogs together and I felt like I should share this story bc I want everyone to know that this positivity and respect exists and you deserve it. Don’t ever dare think that you don’t because you do.
If you’re trans and you identify in whole or part as a boy, good for you!!! You’re not contributing to the infantilization of trans men by being yourself. Boys can be soft and sensitive, and they can also be incredibly strong and creative and awesome in ways too numerous to list!
The word “boy” carries a different connotation from the word “man,” and that’s okay! Just use whichever word makes you feel most comfortable. Personally, being a boy to me means that I retain my ties to softness and childhood and I find that liberating. Other guys get euphoric when they’re referred to as men. Everybody’s different and both of these things are totally okay!
So lately I’ve seen a lot of posts rejecting the trans boy stereotype, meaning that of a “soft” white, thin, feminine, young, usually-gay and able-bodied person and instead drawing more attention to the older and more conventionally (hyper) masculine and “manly” members of our community.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I think positivity for trans guys of all descriptions is important and I’m glad we’re expanding on this, but we have a long way to go! Trans guys are more than “soft boys” or “manly men” and we need to be aware of this and try our best to lift each other up!
My issue is that our examples of masculinity are still very narrow either way. Trans guys aren’t as simple as all that!
Trans guys aren’t just white, thin, able-bodied teens or even twenty-somethings. I want visibility and an awareness of the existence of boys and men of color, guys of various races and ethnic backgrounds who so often get passed over. Fat trans guys, trans guys with physical disabilities and chronic illnessses, neurodivergent guys! Body politics and accessibility advocacy are things this community severely lacks. I also want to just give a huge shoutout to trans guys of all sexualities; whether you’re gay, straight, bi, pan, poly, ace, queer, however you call yourself, you are loved. By me!
I also just want to acknowledge, even though I’m pretty much that first “soft boy” stereotype minus the able-bodied part, I am such a tiny sampling of the traits a transmasculine person can have.
Trans guys can be binary or non-binary, fat or thin, of any race or ethnicity, and with any disability, neurotype, or mental illness. They can be men in their 70s or five-year-old boys or anywhere between and beyond.
They can be athletes or math nerds or both or neither. Heck, they can be theater kids. They can be addicts, they can be survivors, they can have eating disorders and abuse stories and traumas. They can be artists and philosophers. They can practice any religion or none at all or be undecided. They can be sex workers or former sex workers. They can be feminists. They can be out and proud or closeted or still questioning.
They can be found in suits, or dresses, or flannels with skinny jeans, or Catholic-school uniforms, or hospital gowns, or cozy pullover sweaters. They can be single, married, fathers, grandfathers, uncles. They can be in relationships with a loving partner, or multiple! They can have literally any story and they all deserve to be acknowledged.
A single trans guy can be anything and together we are everything and I never see this talked about, not fully, and I still haven‘t done a proper job of it but I had to start somewhere! I’m still young and new to this community myself, so my knowledge is limited but it is growing and I want to see this place become someplace welcoming for all trans boys and men.
I know this post far from includes everyone but I tried my best, I’m tired and emotional but I tried my best and please add anything I’ve missed because every transmasculine experience is unique and deserves more attention in this place. I love all of you, boys and men. Please talk, and please listen to each other.
(You can’t starve gender dysphoria. Obviously your choices regarding your body and what you do with it are your own and should be respected, but we as a community have got to normalize accepting fat bodies and stop pushing weight loss as a treatment for body dysphoria. As trans people we live in marginalized bodies already, so body positivity is extra important for us within our own community. Inclusion for all, please. Please.)
Boys/men who can’t bind or can’t bind comfortably are great!
Boys/men who can’t alter their gait when walking to appear more “masculine” are great! (Boys/men who can’t walk are great.)
Boys/men who can’t work out are great!
Boys/men who can’t gain or lose weight, be it muscle or fat we’re talking about here, are great!
Boys/men who can’t train their voices are great! (Boys/men who are mute, selectively mute, nonverbal, etc. are great.)
Boys/men who are neurodivergent are great! Autistic guys, guys with ADHD, guys with learning disabilities, all very great! Mentally ill guys? Why, they’re absolutely wonderful. Guys with depression, anxiety, thought/personality/mood disorders, and guys on the schizoid spectrum?? You’re all wonderful. Guys with traumas are wonderful. All neurodivergent boys and men are excellent and you really deserve your own post, which I will make soon.
Disabled trans boys/men are great! I love you all. Blind/deaf (or hard of hearing)/non-speaking, mobility impaired, chronically ill, neurodivergent, mentally ill, and other trans boys and men who stand proud in this community even with all the ableist shit we put you through, you do not go unnoticed and you matter! I love you!!!
The only reason someone would feel more dysphoric if people knew they were trans than they would if they were living stealth is due to internalized transphobia. If your one and only goal of transition is to pass as cis rather than, I dunno, be comfortable in your own skin, you’re in for a world of hurt.
Listen, guys (who I’m usually addressing, because this is my own personal experience), I get it. I know how it feels to be in your body and told by every characteristic and every person on the outside that you’re female when you know it’s not true. It fucking sucks. But until you start seeing yourself as the person you are, you’re going to have a lot of trouble feeling any better. Transition is an internal process too.
The good news is, it’s never too early or too late to start affirming yourself from the inside out.
anyway shoutout to straight members of the community!
shoutout to transhets yall are wonderful and amazing and youre not just a lesbian/gay man in denial for being transhet. you belong in this community as much as anyone else
shoutout to heterosexual aros, you arent any less queer for your sexual attraction. hetero aro men arent monsters or predators just because theyre only sexually attracted to women, and aro hetero women arent immediately “sluts” just because they only experience sexual attraction
and shoutout to heteroromantic aces. you guys are amazing and there will always be a place for you in the community, dont let the exclusionists tell you otherwise
and ofc shoutout to any combination of these. aroallo transhets, i see you, youre wonderful. hetero-oriented aroaces??? absolutely glorious, keep doing what youre doing.
shoutout to straight members of the community man. we wouldnt be the same without you, and we’re better off with you <3
