#ya novel

Journey of a Butterfly is LIVE

Journey of a Butterfly is LIVE!! 

Grab it for FREE on Kindle Unlimited!

What to expect?

Ballet

Fake Friends

Gossips & drama

First Love

Blurb

Losing a bet is one thing; losing yourself is a whole different story.

Katherine Shaw’s childish fear got her into making an innocent bet with her best friend, Alex, which landed her at Thornfield Academy when The Royal…

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Currently Reading:

The Affiliate by K. A. Linde

I wrote a review of Holly Black’s spellbinding novel, ‘The Cruel Prince’. Read it here.

Throughout all my time as a reader, I have found just a few writers that seem to have almost a mystical prowess; that grab their readers attention immediately, and hold them in a trance from the beginning to the end of their novels. Among these spell-casters, Holly Black stands out as one of the best. I’ve raved over every Holly Black book I’ve ever picked up. I read ‘The Spiderwick Chronicles’…

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I have heard good things about Schwab’s other books, but I will not be picking up another.

In the past, I have spoiled myself on subscription boxes of adorable, bookish merchandise. The company that I use is Owl Crate, a monthly, Young Adult subscription box. They send all sorts of fun merchandise and a YA novel. The last book I received was ‘The Serpent King’, a book to which I gave very high praise. This month, I was less enthused. ‘This Savage Song’ by Victoria Schwab was, for the…

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Would love to hear feedback on my tentative title for my untitled WIP:

SAVING ANGELS

                    OCTOBER 1ST PROMPT - SUNRISE

        Todd felt filth seep through his clothing and creep towards his skin as he lay on the murky cobblestoned floor. Blackness surrounded him, and yet he could make out a shadowy figure looming over him. A passing thought chastised about the frequency at which he had been waking up in a disoriented fog in unknown alleys. His thoughts awoke before his defense mechanisms, which usually guarded against all forms of self-reflection. His vision swam in an inky palette as he remembered the first time he had woken up in a dingy backstreet like this one.  

         He had been found about six months ago, the life nearly drained out of him, in a similar location and under similar circumstances. Regrettably, that was his first memory. The Organization told him that he had been a victim of a gruesome crime, the culprit of which had escaped and was likely to remain forever unpunished. It was like he had gone to sleep and woken up in another world, another body, another mind.

         His empty head was opportune for packing, and he lapped up his saviour’s vitriolic ideals like a sponge; taking up the helm as The Organization’s soldier. They told him that his abilities seemed to have stemmed from the loss of his memories. He had been forced to quickly adapt to a world that he no longer remembered, and his mind had gone into a frantic overdrive, creating neural pathways favouring adaptation through sight. He could create these pathways at will; by seeing an action done. That action could be one of defense, offense or jarring cruelty, either way his empty mind screamed for content. To be filled. But no matter how much The Organization crammed into it, a feeling of emptiness remained buried inside of him.

         The shadow of the woman who had knocked him senseless flickered against the stony walls that surrounded them. Her eyes were ablaze as she knelt in front of him, pulling him up by his collar and bringing him to eye level. A fire erupted in the muscles of his neck as she pulled and he groaned. Looks like those kids have someone looking out for them after all, he thought as he simmered a responding glare.

         “If I ever catch you skulking around this neighbourhood again, I’ll snap your neck instead of spraining it,” she said.

         A chill ran through him and he felt as if he were suddenly freefalling though a clear blue sky. Feelings of disassociation enveloped him and his body relaxed. The woman abruptly dropped him, and he slammed back onto the wet cobblestones, barely noticing the flow of pain streaming into his head and neck.

         “What’s the matter with you,” she said.

         He glanced languidly into her bright, gray eyes. The starlight glimmered on the silver strands of her hair as she continued to speak. But hearing her voice was like staring into the sun, and he closed his eyes as he ignored her gibbering and assessed his internal state.

         He felt at ease, for the first time that he could remember. That empty feeling in his head had been appeased and permeated with her. He felt sated; with a sense that he had completed a yearnful goal that he hadn’t known existed. That didn’texist. He felt like he could rest for the first time in six months. This. . . this isn’t possible. Why would I feel this way …why would she… ?

         His thoughts were interrupted by a shocking pain in his side. She had kicked him. Hard.

         “Are you listening to me scum? You’re going to leave those kids alone or I’m going to make you wish you were never born? Got me?”

         When he didn’t answer she scoffed and turned towards the nape of the alley.

         “Pathetic.”

         She began to walk away.

         “Wait -” he muttered. It was difficult and painful to talk. He paused to catch his breath; straining to sit up as lightning flashed from his chest to his neck, obscuring his vision with dancing lights.

         She faltered in her step when he spoke, facing away from him he saw her posture soften, for a moment, then stiffen.

         She stood a few feet away from him, her expression masked. She did not bother to look at him as she bid him farewell.

         “If I ever see you again. I’m going to kill you.”

         And she was gone.

         Blinding light continued to spiral across his vision and he let himself fall backwards onto the ground. As the white light faded from his eyes the familiar darkness sunk back in. That’s what happens when you stare too long at the sun. He felt cold and achingly tired.

         He had heard whispers about people with frightening psychic powers while he was a part of The Organization. Physically gifted people, like Todd, were separated from those with mental abilities. As he lay on the moldy stone floor, he was able to rationalize what had happened. What kind of a person would inject themselves into my mind and make me… ?

        He stubbornly refused to put his emotions into words, but they were undeniable. Love. He was in love with her - against his will. Although he reasoned that this woman had his former target’s best interests in mind, he could hardly call her a hero after what she had done to him.

         All he could do was hope that with distance, her effect on him would diminish. That did not turn out to be the case. The more time that passed, the more fervently he craved her. Her power and presence in his mind was despicable. He was left with a love for her that could only be countered with hatred. The stronger his feelings became as time went on, the more he hated her for the cruel dominance she held over his affections.

I’d rather go back to being empty. But that wasn’t possible. The sun had risen.

Thanks to @oc-growth-and-development for the prompts!

i was re reading red white and royal blue and literally as i finished the lake scenes august by taylor swift starts playing… the similarities between the two at this point in the book are making me ACHE

Adyskia is a world in which magick, known as Raiken, is a rare skill. Rarer still is Cosma Raiken, a more wide ranging magick in which the user can control all energy.

Aeli may not be the best student, but she does have Cosma Raiken. And she’s discovered this gives her a unique ability: the ability to open portals to other worlds. This is a secret she shares only with her closest friends as they explore other exciting, and potentially dangerous, worlds.

Coming Soon!

Also, that doctors-have-chicken-scratch-handwriting stereotype is totally true in my case.

This is from my Raiken Student notebook.

“Aeli Runik!”

I fell backwards off my stool when a small pebble bounced off my forehead, startling me out of my daydream a couple days after the encounter in the blue world.

A strangled sound came from my throat as I fell, followed by the sound of air whooshing out of me when I hit the floor.  

Giggles erupted around me.  

Even Maedi smiled down at me from the stool next to mine, trying to suppress her laughter.  

I gave her a wry look and climbed back up into my seat.

“My apologies Master Gruner.  I drifted off for a moment there.”

“A moment?” She said. “Aeli, I was trying to get your attention for several moments.”  

My tan face burned crimson for an instant, but I recovered quickly.  

“Would you care to tell us how Raiken works?” She continued.  “Since you’re so keen on paying attention.”

I stood and stayed silent for a moment.  “Raiken is…   Raiken is the manipulation of energy, or Ken.  And it happens by…” My eyes darted around the room, which seemed to be growing smaller as I stumbled through my explanation.  

I glanced at Mae, who was wiggling her fingers.  At first, she wiggled them slowly.  Then, she sped up, moving them more quickly, before slowing them back down.

“People with…  People with Raiken have the ability to manipulate certain types of Ken.  They can manipulate the very energy that particles use to function.” I found my stride.  “By adding energy, they increase the movement of the particles, creating some sort of reaction, depending on the type of Raiken a person possesses.  By removing energy, they slow the movement of the particles, creating the opposite reaction.  For instance, Master Gruner, when you shot this pebble toward me, you used your Dima Raiken to increase the energy of the particles in the pebble and make it fly across the room and bounce off of me.  Had I been paying attention, I could have used my own power to reduce the kinetic energy of the pebble and stop it from advancing any further…”

Master Gruner frowned, unsure of how I managed to come up with the correct answer when she was clearly trying to make an example of me.

“Very good.”

I sat back down and gave Mae an appreciative smile.  

Master Gruner continued on.  “There are five types of Raiken: Zea, Dima, Nera, Eiba and Cosma.  The first four control different forms of Ken: Zea controls life Ken, Dima controls kinetic or movement Ken, Nera controls thermodynamic or light and heat Ken, Eiba controls electromagnetic Ken, while Cosma controls them all.  Only a person with Cosma Raiken can control more than one type of Ken.  People having varying abilities of one of the first four is uncommon, but not extremely so.  Cosma Raiken, however, is incredibly rare.  In fact, Miss Runik here is the only student we’ve had with Cosma Raiken in over twenty years…”

Everyone glanced at me before turning their attention back to Master Gruner.

She kept on talking about how Raiken abilities are inherited recessively through bloodlines, but I could only pay attention for so long before I drifted off again.

When I focused back on reality, everyone was preparing to leave the room.  Master Gruner quickly packed her bag of scrolls and gave me a curt nod before exiting.

I looked at Maedi, who was scribbling something down on a piece of parchment.  She glanced up, startled to see that everyone was leaving.

“What are you writing?” I asked.

“Just notes.  Nice explanation of Raiken earlier.  I was afraid you were going to blow it.”

“Gee thanks.  I appreciate the hint you gave me.  But why couldn’t we just have avoided the whole thing by you poking me when Gruner noticed I wasn’t paying attention?”

    “Sorry, I didn’t think to.  I kind of froze when she looked over toward us.”

“I guess it couldn’t be helped.  She probably would’ve tried to find another way to embarrass me anyways…  Gruner hates me, after all.”

“No, she doesn’t.  She just expects more of you.”

I stared at her blankly for a moment.  “Could you sound any more like an old lady?”  

Mae gave a yip of laughter and I couldn’t help but smile at the way her eyes crinkled in her amusement.

——————————————————————————————-

I meandered through the trees of the orchard, taking my time in bringing my crate of apples back to the storehouse.  

I ran my fingers across the bark and felt the Zea Ken of the trees swirl over my skin as it interacted with my own energy.  

My eyes closed at the sensations.

The trees were a slow pulse around me with multiple small quick vibrations of the wildlife scattered throughout.

I tugged gently at a deeper pulse and the tree released some of its Ken at my gentle urging.  This only happened because the tree allowed it.  It wouldn’t work if just anyone tried to draw energy from their surroundings without heed.  Permission to draw energy from a living being was required.

Even from plants.

I played with the Ken for a moment, shaping it how I wished before I gave it back to the tree I’d borrowed it from.  I smiled and thanked the tree as I felt it respond to the return of its energy.

After glancing toward the sun to gauge the time, I sped up my progress a bit.

“Took your time, didn’t you?”  Brecht greeted me when I made it back to the storehouse.  “Honestly Aeli, imagine how incredible you could be if you actually applied yourself.”

“I was practicing my Zea Raiken…”

Brecht sighed.  “I can understand getting caught up in the life energies of the orchard.  I do so from time to time as well.  But you mustn’t let it distract you.  Especially in your case.  You have three other types of Raiken at your control.  If you keep focusing only on one, you’ll never master the others.  And that could leave someone like you more vulnerable.  Much more vulnerable than those of us that can only control one form of energy.  Do you understand?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good.  Now off you go, or you’ll be late to training.”

I smiled before I dashed off to the training yards.

¥¥¥

Upon arriving at the yards, Kellen clapped me on the back.  “Cutting it a bit close, eh?”

“I’m always cutting it a bit close.”

“She still made it on time,” Mae said.

I nudged Kellen with my elbow.  “See, this is why I like her more than I like you.”

Maedi blushed as Master Stahl strode into the yard.

“Grab your bows, people!” He bellowed.  “And don’t shoot anyone!”

The students shuffled about as we grabbed our bows and arrows before finding our assigned targets.

“Only stone tipped arrows for you, Pahamu,” Stahl said to Kellen.  “I’ll have none of your magnetic antics here.”

Kellen smirked and exchanged his quiver of arrows for one with only stone tipped ones.  He came back in time to watch Maedi release an arrow that struck dead in the center of the target.

“How, Mae?  Just—How?”  I asked, dumbfounded.

Mae blushed again.

“Do you even use Raiken for that?”  Kellen asked.  “Or is that just pure skill?”

“You know I can’t use my Raiken for this.”

“You can control kinetic energy, Mae.  Of course, you could use your Raiken for this,” I said.  “A slight nudge from a redirected gust of wind would do just fine.”

“Yes, but it’s against the rules to use Raiken during weapons practice.  I don’t cheat like Kellen,” she replied matter-of-factly.

Kellen smirked.  “I can’t help it if it just comes that naturally to me.”

“Oh please,” I scrunched my face.  “Mae’s right.  You’re a total cheat.”

“You three!” Master Stahl yelled from across the yard as he walked toward us.  “Runik and Pahamu,” he said to Kellen and I when he neared.  “Why am I not surprised?”  He glanced at our target.  “Well shot, Jeton.”  He smiled at Mae before he turned to me.  “Let’s see it, Runik.”

I stepped forward, spread my feet apart with the left slightly ahead of my right and took a deep breath.  I knocked an arrow and raised my bow.  

The center of the target looked small.  And the longer I stared at it, the smaller it seemed to get.

I took another breath to steady myself.  This was the part I usually rushed.  As I inhaled again, I drew the string back to my jaw as far as I could pull it and lined up the tip of the arrow a little above the center of the target.  I exhaled and released the string with a twang.  The arrow shot forward and imbedded itself a handbreadth to the left of Mae’s arrow in the center.

“Not bad,” Stahl said as I lowered my bow.  “Your patience is better.  But you forgot to compensate for the wind.”

I nodded, taking note of the breeze that was pushing eastward.

“Now Pahamu…  I’m almost afraid to even ask, but let’s see it.”

Kellen stepped up in front of the target and settled into a wide stance.  He drew back on the bow so hard, I thought it might break.  He released and the whole bow seemed to groan with the recoil.  The arrow sped away and went wide of the whole target.

“And this is precisely why no one is allowed to walk back there,” Stahl said with a shake of his head.  “You shoot a bow as if you were wielding your ax…”

Kellen shrugged and stepped back to allow Mae to take her next turn.

I watched Mae closely as she prepared herself to shoot.  She effortlessly flowed into her stance and knocked an arrow.  For someone who looked so delicate, you’d think she’d have trouble drawing the arrow back.  But she didn’t.  She drew it back with such fluidity and surety, then released it in the same way.

A thud echoed across the yard as her arrow buried itself less than half a finger’s breadth above her first arrow.

I gave a low whistle.  “Why even bother practicing?”  I asked.  “You’re already a master.”

Maedi blushed a deep shade of scarlet at my praise.  

“I’m hardly a master.  It’s one thing to shoot here in the yard, quite another when in a real battle.”

“Of course, she’s right.  Again.”  Kellen teased.  “Just like we’re all quite good at our Raiken, well, except for Aeli with Eiba and Dima.  But we all ran away like normal people the other day in that world with a blue sun.”

Mae and I both nodded at his words.

“I have you and Mae for Eiba and Dima,” I said.  “But, very true,” I agreed.  “Very true.”

the sexual tension between me and unread books on my bookshelf

teenage boys in young adult novels: greed bows to me. it is my servant and my lever. there was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken. it’s shame that eats men whole.

teenage boys in real life: i bet you can’t eat that entire pizza by yourself-

teenage boys in real life: oh yEAH? WATCH ME-

minor spoilers for six of crows, these violent delights, house of hades, the cruel prince and an ember in the ashes below!

listen i know we all love unhinged female villains but can we just appreciate unhinged boys for a second? like.

kaz brekker’s dark, wet hair against pale skin and glinting eyes when he tears out oomen’s eyeball because he can’t stand the thought that he might lose inej because she’s his wraith and yes, he protects his investments but he’s also afraid of being alone and won’t let the people he loves slip away from him, not again, because then he might actually turn into the monster everyone assumes him to be, and what would jordie think of him then?

roma montagov launching himself at dimitri in the fighting ring because he’s reached breaking point and his anger is overwhelming and all-consuming so he bares his teeth and lunges for his cousin to prevent himself from breaking down because if he can’t prove his strength to fucking dimitri of all people, how will he stay strong enough to resist juliette and make his father proud at the same time? and if he fails at that, won’t he lose everything?

percy jackson, perfectly composed, drowning akhlys in her own tears because if she’s inflicted so much sorrow on him, why shouldn’t she feel his pain for once? why shouldn’t she know what it’s like to feel afraid? why shouldn’t someone be afraid of him, for once, to give him the power to end their life in a flick of the wrist?

cardan greenbriar, eyes gleaming with hatred, pressing his quill into parchment to scribble jude jude jude over and over again, the ink bleeding through the page until it stains the desk beneath it, smiling dangerously as he holds a knife to the love of his life’s throat because it’s either kill her or kiss her and he’s not sure if he’ll survive either.

elias veturius killing his best friends in the third trial after seeing them dead in the first, anger tearing at his skin and blurring his vision because if he doesn’t kill them then he’ll be killed, and the only thing he’s been taught how to do is survive. it’s instinct. lifting his head slowly, hands shaking, surveying the massacre, blood stains spattered across his shirt, his stomach dropping because is this what i’ve become?

when something inside boys breaks and they go absolutely feral, it is absolutely terrifying. and i love it.