In lieu of getting an appropriate amount of sleep I’ve just decided to double down on my caffeine intake.

I just woke up, it’s about 8:30am. Last night was much better than the night before, but the dog still woke me up around 2:30am to be let out. I drank less of the senna tea this time for fear of extreme cramping and luckily, it didn’t bother me, although I did have some anxiety after a scary hypnic jerk snapped me awake.

I am feeling very tired and I just pounded my SWF. Nothing has happened yet, but it’s only been about 25 minutes. Today is my half way point through the cleanse and I’m not gunna lie, I am very excited for it to be over. Hopefully I can just push through the next few days. I had dreams about eating cheese puffs last night, and pizza the night before…I must REALLY be missing cheese. 

I went to work yesterday and although I was fatigued, everything went alright. It was a little bit torturous being around all that food and all those people happily talking with their mouths open and stuffing their faces. The smells alone were enough to make someone in my position want to kill themselves.

I didn’t drink as much lemonade as I probably should have because I accidentally made my work batch way too spicy. And the fear of hyponatremia is still lurking in my brain. Of course, that means I’m probably dehydrating myself by overcompensating. Whatever. I’m still alive today so I guess that’s all that matters.

Today I have another long day of work followed by more work. I have to go into the restaurant for a few hours and then go downtown to do a catering event. I’m planning on being exhausted after and just passing out immediately, which would be ideal. 

Lieb’s oder lass es, alles dazwischendrin gibt’s nicht

Genetikk

Träume sind Worte, die der Mund nicht zu erzählen wagt.

Person: hey, why are you awake?? Go to sleep??
Me: I can’t sleep because I have too much free time. I don’t do anything all day, so I’m never tired. I wake up tired, but by the time I’ve spent all day doing nothing, its 1:00 in the morning and I still can’t sleep.

I took so many pills.

I’m tired. I think im going to go to sleep. Goodbye

Megint egy álmatlan éjszaka, egyedül a gondolataimmal…

Úgy érzem az életem nincs biztonságban…

How am I sleepy but still can’t fall asleep, explain pls…

my therapist: alright this week try to go to sleep by 11:30 and so be in bed by 11:00 without your phone

me, that same night at 12:09 watching videos on my phone in the dark: oopsie daisy