do you ever feel unbearably frustrated or constrained by conventions of writing? i.e. linear presentation of ideas or narrative, argument that “progresses” by building on previous points, intro-thesis-support-conclusion structure, the beginning-to-end nature of reading and writing, etc… 

if you could write in a way that better suits your ways of thinking, speaking, or sense-making, what might that look like? or, what are some practices that have helped liberate you from the mold? how would you change up structure, style, or medium? would you incorporate other sensory modes like visuals, audio, or physical materials? 

I have an associate way of thinking, and I often visualize my ideas in mindmaps with networked, interconnected, ecological points. I’m thinking of inserting such a mindmap in a paper. writing in websites with multiple sections/pages have helped in some ways too, though often, there’s still linearity in how we navigate menu bars. I want to explore other stategies and tools that could empower us.

I’m interested in flipping the script - questioning and reimagining it.

I love my ADHD. in many ways, my ADHD makes me a better person. yep, I said it. 

what do you value about your ADHD? what aspects do you celebrate, find strength in, or claim as superpowers? here are some of mine, please feel free to share your own!

• my restless desire to live with interest, catharsis, creativity, fulfillment
• 200% of my efforts put into anything that captures my heart or genuine interest
• my ability to connect seemingly disconnected ideas, fields, problems
• my resistance against western traditions of linear thought, argument, narrative, time
• my empathy and consciousness for those who don’t fit ableist norms and paradigms

adhdgoogle-searches:

How to close the tabs in my brain because they keep making my brain crash

also how do i recover my brain’s closed tabs ?

the language we use to describe ourselves, to build communities, and to frame the world within and around us matters. with this in mind, i’ve been asking myself tough questions that i’d like to extend to others who feel marginalized in ableist systems: 

what term(s) do you identify with to describe yourself in relation to ableist structures?

what meanings or functions does this language have for you? are there challenges or limitations that come with using this language? 

despite the stigma and misconceptions that the word disability carries thru ableist lenses, many folks (including myself) identify with it as a tool for repurposed meaning and community. i’ve seen folks identify and communicate with differently abled, neuroatypical, neurodivergent, etc. as alternate/related terms that challenge some of the negative connotations of disability, though they also have potential to be framed in ways that makes us other. nonetheless, i think each of these words empowers, (re)frames, resists, and connects us in  unique ways, often dependent on our goals and experiences. 

i’m not searching for infallable language or a catch-all descriptor for diverse experiences. however, i am hoping to understand how others are navigating and negotiating language within their own contexts. i amtrying to be mindful and critical of language that shapes how i see myself, how i relate to others, how i resist and interrogate ableism. i am searching for language that can bridge me with folks who may not identify with markers as politicized as disability, persay, but may resonate with not fitting into ableist norms. 

would appreciate reblogs or DMs to circulate conversation and share perspectives/stories. <3

ADD/ADHD is going down the rabbit holes of fascinating and interconnected side quests before finishing the main quest and tbh..??? we’re more interesting

I will clean my room, even it is the last thing I do!

… Well, certainly did not do that today

But what did I get done instead?

I scrolled through TikTok endlessly!

Hey, the day before all I could do was stare at my wall

And just think about cleaning my room

And just think about wanting to do just something…

Anything at all…

So that I could say that did something today

So guess what?

I did something today!

I did… something…today

ADHD Types Pride Flags

Impulsive/Hyperactive Type ADHDPride Flag

ALT

• Impulsive/hyperactive type: This type of ADHD is the least common type of ADHD. It is characterized by impulsive and hyperactive behaviors without inattention and distractibility. For example: being excessively impulsive, interrupting conversations, impulse buying, blurting out answers instead of waiting to be called upon, taking risks without thinking before acting, fidgeting excessively, difficulty engaging in quiet activities, inability to stay on task…

[Image ID: A flag with five horizontal of the same sizes. Their colors are, from top to bottom, orange, pastel orange, white, cyan and light blue. There is a black butterfly symbol in the center of the flag.]

Flag Meaning:

• Orange: Hyperactivity.
• Pastel orange: Pride in being neurodivergent.
• White: Variation of hyperactive symptoms and diversity of ADHD people.
• Cyan: Solidarity between inattentive, hyperactive and combined adhd people.
• Light blue: Impulsivity.
• Butterfly Symbol: ADHD.

Inattentive/Distractible Type ADHD Pride Flag

ALT

• Inattentive/distractible type: A type of ADHD characterized predominately by inattention and distractibility without hyperactivity. For example: excessive daydreaming, being easily distracted, being forgetful, making careless mistakes, losing or misplacing objects, short attention span, having poor organizational skills, difficulty attending to details…

[Image ID: A flag with five horizontal of the same sizes. Their colors are, from top to bottom, green, pastel green, white, pastel violet and violet. There is a black butterfly symbol in the center of the flag.]

Flag Meaning:

• Green: Distractibility.
• Pastel green: Pride in being neurodivergent.
• White: Variation of inattentive symptoms and diversity of ADHD people.
• Pastel violet: Solidarity between inattentive, hyperactive and combined adhd people.
• Violet: Inattention.
• Butterfly Symbol: ADHD.

Combined Type ADHD Pride Flag

ALT

• Combined type ADHD: The most common type of ADHD. It is characterized by the combination of impulsive and hyperactive behaviors as well as inattention and distractibility behaviors.

[Image ID: A flag with five horizontal of the same sizes. Their colors are, from top to bottom, orange, pastel orange, white, pastel violet and violet. There is a black butterfly symbol in the center of the flag.]

Flag Meaning:

• Orange: Hyperactivity and impulsivity.
• Pastel orange: Pride in being neurodivergent.
• White: Variation of combined symptoms and diversity of ADHD people.
• Pastel violet: Solidarity between inattentive, hyperactive and combined adhd people.
• Violet: Inattention and distractibility.
• Butterfly Symbol: ADHD.

I had intended on writing my first story in a completely different manner, but right now I am so frustrated and angry I can’t see straight.

I am the mother of three adult sons, ages 46, 32, and 28, married to the the father of two sons, for 33 years. I live in Wisconsin, while the oldest lives in Florida with his 10-year-old daughter (my grandchild), whom I have NEVER even met. I have not seen him in 13 years. 

Son #2 is living at home, doesn’t work, nor contributes toward the household financially and depending on ‘his highnesses’ mood, he might take out the garbage.

Son #3, is living with his girlfriend, works and has potential. However, he also has a nasty mean streak and if I misunderstand something, say something he thinks is stupid, etc. etc. his nose gets out of joint and all bets are off.

My husband is likely the worst of them all. He is utterly clueless who I am, what I want, need, love or hate. This is not a stupid person. He’s very intelligent, personable, and helpful to everyone other than me. He did suffer a work-related injury years ago, resulting in a severe back injury and finally had to apply for disability benefits in 1994. So, we’ve been living in poverty level as a result.

I went back to school when I wad 50, earned my degree, then started a home-based, resume and technical writing business. I was working 6-7 days a week, up to 15 hours a day, in addition to taking care of all household chores and needs. In 2019 I finally fell apart, physically and then mentally, due to the backlash. I have a number of health problems that only keep getting worse due to a lot of incompetence and disregard to listening to me and rather making assumptions that are wrong based on some trips to the ER. Because these people can’t seem to look at the whole picture and only my momentary behavior of fear, frustration, panic, anxiety, because I don’t know what is wrong with me! My physical symptoms have not been addressed and I’ve basically been labeled as a ‘psychiatric case,’ with nothing to base it on other than someone who is scared and in an emergency room.

I’ve been getting sicker and sicker and the only way I will even consider going to the ER is unconscious and not breathing! 

A good part of my medical problems stem from having to do things my body is no longer capable of doing, longterm. Despite any and every tactic I cannot get anyone to really step up and do anything other than the minimal, under my supervision. They say, “Don’t do ABC,” yet rarely do and if I absolutely cannot do anything you can be damned good and sure a big mess will be waiting for me when I’m upright again.

Between not being able to get doctors to figure out what is wrong, and the total lack of help, consideration, love, etc. I have, I am turning into a crazy person. My emotions are so raw and awful I’m either screaming, crying, wanting to leave, or choke someone. I cannot believe the lack of anything I get and regardless what I do or say, nothing changes. I am so exhausted I can’t even think straight.

I have no family or friends. Most of my so-called friends have betrayed me in many ways. I’ve had several take anything I’ve confided in them and run telling my husband. Others borrowed money and refused to repay it and then got mad at me! I found I couldn’t share any negative feelings and was called a chronic complainer. So, it’s better to not put myself out anymore. It’s just not worth the hurt.

I know I’ve only shared some limited information about each of my kids, etc. and there is so much more. Mother’s Day is coming and I will half-jokingly make reminders and as sure as I’m sitting here there will be no flowers or anything done to make me special. They all know I don’t care about purchased gifts, I want them to do something that will show me they love me and I’m special. It’s the same with birthdays, Christmas, etc. I give and get nothing in return, emotionally or any other way.

I can’t go on like this anymore.

Most recently. I’ve been in Crisis since last night. I had a disciplinary discussion with My Boss about colleagues forwarding my emails to My Boss, because the tone in my emails is bad or my emails are too detailed, which makes them hard to understand etc. 

I had my HR Team start an investigation on my behalf and I submitted time off for the next 4 workdays. The Hospital Psych Wards I’ve been admitted to in NJ and NY have terrible environments and I don’t get better.

With the above being said, I’m searching for the Top 10; 30 to 60 Day Mental Health Facilities in the U.S. If anyone can help me with this it would be greatly appreciated!

My Mental Health/Psychiatric Care History:

1) I suffer from Depression and GAD since 2005, which I was diagnosed with after a DWI with a Hit & Run. I was mandated to treatment by the Court
2) I suffer from Bi-Polar and ADD, which I was diagnosed with in 2012
3) I’ve been hospitalized “5” times since 2012 at “2” different hospitals “both” are located in NJ
5) During my 5th Hospitalization I underwent “13” ECT Treatments
4) I attended Intensive Outpatient Programs in NJ after every hospitalization
5) As of today I’m searching for a higher level of care at a Residential Mental Health Facility for a duration of at least 30 to 60 Days. “2” Weeks in a Hospital Psych Ward is not cutting it for me
6) Currently I’m on a plethora of Psychiatric Medication: Lithium, Klonopin, Effexor XR, Seroquel XR and Vyvanse
7) Other pills I take include: Dopa Mucana, Fish Oil, Vitamin D, Multivitamin for Men, Irbesartan (Blood Pressure) and Atorvastatin (Cholesterol)

Thank you for reading my story and please continue the fight against Mental Health Stigma in the U.S. and abroad. Also, I hope everyone who is struggling with Mental Health Illnesses finds a way to fight their demons and finally have the opportunity to live a normal life!

Long story short, the Pasco County Sheriffs Office, which has been involved with evidence and witness tampering in the past, is still involved with not only that, but RICO Act violations, which has been alleged in the past as well. They did not learn from their past “mistakes” and are now doing it to me.

I can prove it, but I was not permitted to tell my side of the story.

Up to my current situation, I have always admired police.

I have submitted my evidence to the proper federal authorities. In the meantime, I have a Calendar Call at court tomorrow. I had to fire my lawyer for being incompetent, for ignoring exculpatory evidence, not even lifting a finger to help find a witness who will tell the truth. I can only submit the documents that the lawyer neglected to do. I am alone with this, and every day is agony and despair because of these liars. I bounce back occasionally, but I bounce a shorter distance with each recovery. Don’t know if I will survive this, so just an FYI: Be careful who and what you support and call a “hero”. There is nothing heroic about collusion  tampering with evidence in order to get a man incarcerated.

Adhd people in books and movies: I spend all day getting distracted by my really intellectual thoughts

Me, an actual person with adhd: *forgets to do homework because im laughing at how funny the word “frog” is*