#batfamily

dick: fuck me if i’m wrong but-

y/n: you’re wrong

dick:i-

y/n:wROnG

jason: can you tuck me in?

bruce:

bruce: you handed me a shovel

jason: yeah, just spread the dirt as evenly as you can

bruce: i beg your pardon??

jason: then fucking beg

y/n: did you even sleep last night?

tim: i got a solid.. 8 minutes

y/n:

tim:well

tim: not consecutively, but i’m fine

tim: there’s only three of you right now

damian: i hate you with every inch of my body

jason:

jason: that’s not many inches

superman, to batman and nightwing: i love the whole “good cop / bad cop” thing you have going on

nightwing: it isn’t a thing. i’m nice and that’s his default setting

jason: [looking around at criminals] some of you may die

jason: but that’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make

dick: hey, remember when you didn’t try to solve all of your problems with attempted murder?

jason: stop romanticising the past.

tim, pouring monster and five hour energy into his coffee: I have no idea what i’m doing, but I do know that i’m doing it really well.

Jason: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Dick: We lost Tim!

Jason: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

tim, sleep deprived and on his 5th cup of coffee at 8am: onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts

dick, used to this: uh huh

tim: lasagna is spaghetti flavoured cake

dick:

tim: lobsters are mermaids to scorpions

dick, on the verge of tears:stop-

jason: please continue

Bruce:so

Bruce: you lied to me.

Jason: that depends on how you define lying

Bruce: well, i define it as not telling the truth. how do you define it?

Jason:

Jason: reclining your body in a horizontal position

tim: stop correcting me all the time!

damian: stop being wrong and i wouldn’t have to

y/n: the food is too hot, i can’t eat it

jason: you’re too hot and i still eat you

y/n:*blushes*

jason:*winks*

roy: one dinner- i juST WANT ONE FUCKING DINNER-

tim: why would you give a knife to a child?

bruce: damian felt unsafe

tim: now i feel unsafe.

bruce:

bruce: would you like a knife,

thelampofthemoment:

Bruce hasn’t been Batman for 6 months when Alfred passes away peacefully in his sleep, he feels guilty for refusing to think about it coming after he started being mistaken for his father more often than not.

It’s been a year when Dick leaves on a mission to chase an organisation he believes to be connected to the Court of Owls through Europe. He goes MIA two weeks in and Cass takes up the mantel instead.

Steph isn’t there to see Tim start going by Nightwing because of the bullet that hits her brain whilst she’s fighting Two-Face and Scarecrow. Bruce can’t remember what they were arguing about the last time he saw her awake but he moves her to the manor after the coma becomes stable so he can tell her everyday how proud he’s always been.

Dick has been gone for 7 months when Tim gets hit by a car whilst in Bosnia searching for him or any kind of explanation for what happened. The doctor says he most likely died quickly after impact but Bruce doesn’t feel much relief.

Damian is 20 and taking on more and more responsibility at Wayne Enterprises when Jason comes to the manor to tell them about the stage 3 lung cancer. Bruce extends an offer to help him move back home but it’s declined.

Duke starts to cover extra areas of the city several times a weeks as well as his usual patrol route. It’s hard work and Bruce is positive he isnt getting enough sleep. When he tries to get between Deadshot and one of his targets, what’s meant to be a bullet for someone else goes straight into his femoral artery, sliding between armoured plates. Duke bleeds out two blocks away from where Bruce’s parents were killed.

Bruce can’t look at Damian without seeing his Father’s face so he lets him go on his mission to destroy the Lazarus pits left in the world. He falls silent when fighting his way through the League to the final one. Bruce only finds out that he succeeded 3 years later, when Talia informs him that Ra’s al Ghul is dead with no possibility of revival.

Jason is forced to retire from active patrols but he insists on working alongside Barbara in the Clocktower whenever he can. They convince him to attempt multiple types of treatment but eventually it’s Roy who finds him cold in his bed one morning. Bruce buries him next to his brothers.

Bruce sits down with Cass and Barbara when they decide that it’s time to let Steph go, with such extensive damage to her brain they’ve run out all hope that they’ll find a way for her to wake up. The two of them lock up the Manor and move to the Penthouse instead, its hallways were too quiet with just the two of them there.

Cass is without backup when what remains of Gotham’s rogues resend on downtown, Batwoman off world with the League and Batwing and Azazel uncontactable somewhere in the Middle East. Bruce watches with baited breath as she fights as hard as she can and returns them all to Arkham but the sheer volume of Joker Venom and Fear Gas alongside her injuries prove too much and not even the whip-smart girl who took over the clinic when Lesley died can do anything to save her.

Barbara starts to visit him less and less as time passes, he stands beside her during Jim Gordon’s funeral but that’s the last time he sees her. He decides he owes it to her not to go looking after digging up several plane tickets leaving a trail around the world. He doesn’t doubt that she could shake him if he tried.

Bruce Wayne is alone in the Penthouse when his heart gives out. The Joker and the majority of the other rogues are either in Arkham or haven’t been seen for years, disappearing along with the Batman. The Justice League is still in operation, Batwoman the only remaining Gothamite within their ranks. Bruce’s heart gives out and the Wayne line goes with it.

Y/N: Remember guys you can be anything!!!

Jason: Can I be your man?

Y/N: I-I don’t think that’s an answer-

Jason sobbing: YoUr bItCh-aSs sAid ANYTHING!!!!!

Dick: You need to start taking your life more serious!!!

*Y/N and Tim hearing the Ice cream truck*

Y/n and Tim: ICEEEEE CREAMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Dick:щ(`Д´щ;)