#dear lover

Dear ▇▇▇,

You were so kind before they dragged you to hell.

Dear ▇▇▇,

You have no idea how many nights I’ve spent crying over you. We used to talk everyday but now I can barely remember what your voice sounds like, you don’t answer my texts either. You only ever speak to me when you need to vent, I feel so used. That doesn’t matter, I still love you even if it’s wrong ❦

Dear ▇▇▇,

The way you give me attention and affection so unpredictably makes me miss you even more. Everytime I see your name pop up on my screen I immediately forget how miserable I feel and become even more desperate for you. Can you feel it too, the kind of pain made out of real love?

Dear Lover,

I have been dying to tell you that I miss holding your hand as we walk through a brand new city. I’ve been thinking about the current situation our world is in and I can’t help but wish that we were wandering through Barcelona right now happily, without fears or worries… Without our children crying to go outside. I wish we were lying in a field in my hometown, watching the stars. Finding a high in each other’s touch; moonlit bodies begging for air but too desperate for more skin. I wish we could be laughing while jumping into waves on the opposite coast of where I grew up. I wish we were watching musicians in Central Park play their saxophones beautifully, full of passion. I keep wishing that we could be anywhere else than here but then you smile at me and crack a joke; I laugh and you pull me into your arms as our children run into the room laughing hysterically and I take a deep breath because happiness still lives here. It lives here… In our small apartment… In you and I, in the chaos and the madness, in the heartache and the tragedy; it still lives here in this world that is falling apart so, let’s fall in together and beg the present to bring beautiful sunsets and sunrises. Let’s live here. Now. Just as we are.

Love always,

Me