#ed ment tw
Me crying in the grocery store bc I saw all the food I knew I can’t eat. Bc I know I will fast a unhealthy time and puke everything out I eat. Just chasing a body goal I will never reach but it’s the only way I don’t hate myself. Knowing I will cry in the shower still wearing a big sweater bc I can’t see myself.
My dad wondering why I cry while starring at some mac and cheese
Why has everything calories
Why is food such a bitch and has calories
I feel so fat right now
✌
It’s the n word pass but like for sucide jokes for me
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Omg why has alcohol so many calories
I just found out that 1 bottle vodka has 1600cal I hate it here
I’m the only one who didn’t reached his October goal. It suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks so much ☹️☹️☹️Like ugh.
But anyways it’s ✨spooky✨ season❤️⛓
Me: drinks one energy at 11am
My family: OMGGG HOW CAN YOU DRINK THAT AT 11am ENERGYS MAKE YOU FAT
Me who hasn’t eaten sth in two days and slept like 10 minutes
The feeling when you fasted and walking feels like flying>>>>>>>>> ✨✨
And that’s how I became anorexic
When he picket me up and said how light I am
My stomach growls in public:
Me:
Me: I’m in a good starv. I’m losing weight⛄️
Also Me a second later: binges my whole process away
I just want to say yall that you deserve the snack! The snack you always think about, the snack that is a normal portion, a normal meal what a normal person would eat and you don’t have to count that calories. It’s just a snack. You deserve it ❤️
Me eats the half of a small portion:
Uff yea I’m full. I think I’m so full that I don’t have to eat for the next day
Omg I was out of control the last days and know the only thing I can do is damage control before I can start to starve again.
I don’t know if this gives sense but my whole life doesn’t gives sense so PFFF I DONT CARE
Nobody:
Me:
Omg why is it so hard after some binge days to start restricting again?! Like I gave my body enough calories the last days so stop being hungry ♀️✨
Me: I’m recovering i eat normal I just don’t look in the mirror anymore
Also me 5 minutes later:
Nevermind I saw thinspo and myself at the same time
I were sick 2 weeks ago and had to eat normal and now I’m in a kind of recovery bc I had to do hard physical work. And wow ok I hate how I look but it’s winter so I can hide in layers of clothes BUUT it’s sooo nice to eat like yea there is still this little voice which says I’m ugly but I just love to eat. And I can do stuff I have energy and I LOVE it. Also I was about to loose hair and I don’t want to lose it so yea.
In englisch class we have obesity and healthy eating at the moment and also had to write about if we have a healthy lifestyle, what we eat and soever
Me with my triggered ed:
Ok write like someone without a ed!!
Mhh yea I eat eat like food and calories yess I eat sooo many calories
Also me then fasting for the nex 2 days