#aneroxia
*starts my period*
ed brain-
…… :(
rational brain-
you sick fuck
Me crying in the grocery store bc I saw all the food I knew I can’t eat. Bc I know I will fast a unhealthy time and puke everything out I eat. Just chasing a body goal I will never reach but it’s the only way I don’t hate myself. Knowing I will cry in the shower still wearing a big sweater bc I can’t see myself.
My dad wondering why I cry while starring at some mac and cheese
Why has everything calories
Why is food such a bitch and has calories
I feel so fat right now
✌
It’s the n word pass but like for sucide jokes for me
✌
Omg why has alcohol so many calories
I just found out that 1 bottle vodka has 1600cal I hate it here
I’m the only one who didn’t reached his October goal. It suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks so much ☹️☹️☹️Like ugh.
But anyways it’s ✨spooky✨ season❤️⛓
Me: drinks one energy at 11am
My family: OMGGG HOW CAN YOU DRINK THAT AT 11am ENERGYS MAKE YOU FAT
Me who hasn’t eaten sth in two days and slept like 10 minutes
Me: crying for 20 minutes infront of the shower bc i have school tomorrow
Also me after I washed my hair poorly in the sink bc I couldn’t shower:
There is nothing wrong with me. I don’t have any problems I just pretend it for attention.
Last time I weard a crop top:
My friends: omg you’re so skinny! Have you started to work out?!
Me:
Me: I’m recovering, I’m healthy, I’m eating chips like a normal person
Also me the second I stopped and realised what I just ate:
Omg why didn’t I know that grapes have so many calories
And that’s how I became anorexic
When he picket me up and said how light I am
My stomach growls in public:
Me:
Me: I’m in a good starv. I’m losing weight⛄️
Also Me a second later: binges my whole process away
I just want to say yall that you deserve the snack! The snack you always think about, the snack that is a normal portion, a normal meal what a normal person would eat and you don’t have to count that calories. It’s just a snack. You deserve it ❤️
Me eats the half of a small portion:
Uff yea I’m full. I think I’m so full that I don’t have to eat for the next day
Omg I was out of control the last days and know the only thing I can do is damage control before I can start to starve again.
I don’t know if this gives sense but my whole life doesn’t gives sense so PFFF I DONT CARE
Nobody:
Me:
Omg why is it so hard after some binge days to start restricting again?! Like I gave my body enough calories the last days so stop being hungry ♀️✨
Me: I’m recovering i eat normal I just don’t look in the mirror anymore
Also me 5 minutes later:
Nevermind I saw thinspo and myself at the same time
I were sick 2 weeks ago and had to eat normal and now I’m in a kind of recovery bc I had to do hard physical work. And wow ok I hate how I look but it’s winter so I can hide in layers of clothes BUUT it’s sooo nice to eat like yea there is still this little voice which says I’m ugly but I just love to eat. And I can do stuff I have energy and I LOVE it. Also I was about to loose hair and I don’t want to lose it so yea.
In englisch class we have obesity and healthy eating at the moment and also had to write about if we have a healthy lifestyle, what we eat and soever
Me with my triggered ed:
Ok write like someone without a ed!!
Mhh yea I eat eat like food and calories yess I eat sooo many calories
Also me then fasting for the nex 2 days
I am currently in recovery and it has been really hard to stay off this site.
But…
someone had said something about my ED and I honestly dont know how I feel. One day I’ll starve and the next I’ll eat the proper recovery amount.
I dont know if I’m going to relapse or not and its scaring me.
I’m healthy right now, but…
I could be skinny and it’s all I have ever wanted.
- *help.me.i.dont.want.to.feel.*
I feel that in my SOUL.
I dont like anything about me.
Not a single thing.
And sometimes it gets hard to breathe due to the intense hatred.
♤♤♤not mine♤♤♤
