#hp marauders
Sirius: Milkshake with two straws please
Remus *blushing*: aww Sirius!!
Sirius: *putting both straws in his mouth* watch how fast I can drink this :D
Remus:Bitch.
Sirius: remember how I said James and I were going to have a calm night out for once?
Remus: yes
Sirius: well, we’re in jail
Remus: *hangs up*
Sirius: Can you help me pick out a Halloween costume?
Remus: Sure, what are your options?
Sirius: I’m torn between a sexy pirate, a sexy nurse, or a sexy nun.
Remus: Don’t you have something that isn’t sexy?
Sirius: I could dress up as Peter. I’m sure that will really scare people.
Peter: Hey!
James: Hey!
Sirius: what is love?
Peter: an emotional minefield
Remus: a neurochemical reaction
James: BABY DONT HURT ME-
Remus: Look Sirius I think you’re absolutely amazing
Sirius: Oh my god. Oh my god… oh my god..
Remus:*smiling*
Sirius: no! don’t please! why?!
Remus:No?
Sirius: I don’t understand why ur breaking up with me
Remus: sirius i’m literally getting on my knee
Remus, surrounded by books: I’m like four days past my bed time and emotionally shattered…
Remus: Yet I’ve never felt this alive!
Sirius: Moony single handly has the power to ruin my New Year if he doesnt doesn’t kiss me at midnight.
James:
James: I would say the same about Lily but…
Sirius: …it would never happen to begin with?
Remus: I am alive for three reasons.
Remus: I was born, I have managed to not be killed yet, and Sirius refuses to let me die.
Sirius: Someone peer pressure me to do my homework today…
Marlene: Do it or you’re straight.
Sirius: I said pressure not THREATEN!!
Walburga: I raised perfectly functional children.
Regulus: Do you have other children we don’t know about?
Sirius: Maybe some that you actuallyraised.
James: Hey Lily, I bet you can’t make a sentence without using the letter A!
Lily: You thought you did something very intelligent this time, didn’t you?
James:
James: Whet in merlin’s neme?!
Kidnapper: We have your kid.
Euphemia: Which one?
Kidnapper: Umm… black hair, short, curses with a passion…
Euphemia: Oh you mean Sirius. If you think he’s bad wait until you meet the other three.
Remus: *loathing Sirius for eating his chocolate*
Sirius: *cracks a sly joke and grins at Remus*
Remus: *loathes him slightly less*
Sirius,at 6am: Well my day is officially ruined.
Remus: And why is that?
Sirius: Because you woke up exactly 30 seconds ago and haven’t given me a hug yet.
Remus: I talk to myself a lot because I need an expert opinion.
Sirius: Hey Remus, what do you want for Christmas?
Remus: Is that even a question… chocolate!!
Sirius: I’m your boyfriend I need to get you something better than that.
Remus: What is better than CHOCOLATE?!
James: *holding a plant over Lily* Look what I found in the kitchen!
Lily:
James: It’s mistletoe! You owe me a kiss now!
Lily: Thats parsley…
James: …can we still ki-
Lily: No.
*on his first day of Aurour training*
Harry: Fuck the government!
Hermione: Harry you are the government!
Harry: Well, fuck me then!
James: I put the sexy in dyslexia
Sirius: Oh yeah you do!
Marlene: James-
Lily: Don’t
Lily: I want to see how long it takes them to realize.
Lily: Remus? Did you ever fill out that form I gave about what you are looking for in a significant other?
Remus,hands her the form:
Lily: Okay… Remus this just says ”Hair color and Last name: Black”
Remus: I don’t see a problem with that.
Lily: So either you want to date Sirius, Regulus, or maybe even Walburga. But I’m pretty sure you arent into women or psychotic mothers.
Remus,snatchesform: Clearly I have to fine tune this a bit more…
