#marauders era incorrect quotes
sirius: every day i decide to wake up and be a ✨homosexual✨
james: eat your vegetables. they contain protein and vitamins. and vitamines and protein are so damn sexy!
Snape: There are four seats at a table and we need to figure out where each person sits. There’s mary, will, you, and me. In which order should we sit?
Lily: Me, Mary, you, and Will.
Snape: Try again.
Lily: Me, Will, you, and Mary.
Snape:No…
Lily: As long as I’m as far from you as possible, I think the order is correct.
Remus: *hugs Sirius from behind*
Remus: *plays with Sirius’ hair*
Remus: Eat my chocolate again and I’ll end you.
Remus: I have concluded that I can’t deal with people stupider than me.
James, Sirius and Peter:
Sirius: But you deal with us.
Remus with tons of empty coffee cups beside him and sleep-deprived eyes: Do I really?
Remus: I left my job today. I couldn’t work for that man after what he had said to me.
Sirius: What did he say?
Remus: Remus, you’re fired.
Remus: Be careful!
Sirius: Tried that once. Most boring day of my life.
James, to Lily: If I had a coin for every time you crossed my mind, I would only have one coin because you’re all I think about.
Sirius, interrupting: BRO? WHAT ABOUT ME? BITCH.
Laser Tag
Sirius, on the blue team: Truce, okay?
Remus, on the red team: Sure, love.
*Later*
Remus, shooting Sirius: Bitch, you thought.
Sirius: I like you.
Remus: You must be joking.
Sirius: No, I’m serious.
Remus: Of course you’re Sirius. What do you mean?
Sirius, exasperated: I mean that I like you. I like everything about you.
Remus:
Remus, who hates himself: Sorry, can’t relate.
James, flirting: So, where are you from? Heaven?
Lily: Yeah, I’m a ghost. I died 15 years ago, just like that pick-up line.
Snape: You use emojis like a straight person.
Sirius: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said to me.
Remus, surrounded by books: I’m like four days past my bed time and emotionally shattered…
Remus: Yet I’ve never felt this alive!
Sirius: Moony single handly has the power to ruin my New Year if he doesnt doesn’t kiss me at midnight.
James:
James: I would say the same about Lily but…
Sirius: …it would never happen to begin with?
Remus: I am alive for three reasons.
Remus: I was born, I have managed to not be killed yet, and Sirius refuses to let me die.
Sirius: Someone peer pressure me to do my homework today…
Marlene: Do it or you’re straight.
Sirius: I said pressure not THREATEN!!
Walburga: I raised perfectly functional children.
Regulus: Do you have other children we don’t know about?
Sirius: Maybe some that you actuallyraised.
James: Hey Lily, I bet you can’t make a sentence without using the letter A!
Lily: You thought you did something very intelligent this time, didn’t you?
James:
James: Whet in merlin’s neme?!
Kidnapper: We have your kid.
Euphemia: Which one?
Kidnapper: Umm… black hair, short, curses with a passion…
Euphemia: Oh you mean Sirius. If you think he’s bad wait until you meet the other three.
Remus: *loathing Sirius for eating his chocolate*
Sirius: *cracks a sly joke and grins at Remus*
Remus: *loathes him slightly less*
Sirius,at 6am: Well my day is officially ruined.
Remus: And why is that?
Sirius: Because you woke up exactly 30 seconds ago and haven’t given me a hug yet.
Remus: I talk to myself a lot because I need an expert opinion.
Sirius: Hey Remus, what do you want for Christmas?
Remus: Is that even a question… chocolate!!
Sirius: I’m your boyfriend I need to get you something better than that.
Remus: What is better than CHOCOLATE?!
James: *holding a plant over Lily* Look what I found in the kitchen!
Lily:
James: It’s mistletoe! You owe me a kiss now!
Lily: Thats parsley…
James: …can we still ki-
Lily: No.
*on his first day of Aurour training*
Harry: Fuck the government!
Hermione: Harry you are the government!
Harry: Well, fuck me then!
James: I put the sexy in dyslexia
Sirius: Oh yeah you do!
Marlene: James-
Lily: Don’t
Lily: I want to see how long it takes them to realize.
Lily: Remus? Did you ever fill out that form I gave about what you are looking for in a significant other?
Remus,hands her the form:
Lily: Okay… Remus this just says ”Hair color and Last name: Black”
Remus: I don’t see a problem with that.
Lily: So either you want to date Sirius, Regulus, or maybe even Walburga. But I’m pretty sure you arent into women or psychotic mothers.
Remus,snatchesform: Clearly I have to fine tune this a bit more…
Marauders Fandom: (to anything cannon) Yeah fuck that, here’s how it really went down…
James: *singing* I can take your mans if I want to, but lucky for you I don’t want to!
Sirius: Don’t you even try to steal my man!
Remus: He couldn‘t get me even if he tried.
Lily: Remus what in merlins name is Sirius planning on doing with the niffler in your backyard?
Remus: I don’t know and I don’t want to know.
Lily: But it’s illegal!
Remus: My point exactly, the less I know the better…
Marlene: I am an amazing driver!
Lily: You almost ran over Remus…
Marlene: But I did that on purpose.
Marlene: I was hoping Sirius would save him, then they would kiss and finally get together.
Lily:
Lily: Honestly that’s so stupid it might have actually worked.
Sirius: Happy father’s day.
Dorcas: But it’s mother’s day.
Sirius: Well I have been disowned so instead I show appreciation to my daddy.
Sirius: *winks at Remus*
