#marauders textpost

Sirius, drunk: NEVER ENOUGH, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ENOUGH, NEVE-

Sirius: *sees Remus*

Sirius: Oh wait nvm.

I just finished “all the young dudes” after reading it for two days straight and fuuuuuuucccckkkk. It hurts!

Ok first of all. Its amazing! The writing is so good and the characterisation is on point. Wolfstar is portrayed so well and I ship them so much now.

James and lily were amazing in it as well as Mary and Marlene.

The plot(non canon) was so thought out and played off so well.

And yeah I did cry for the last like 15 chapters.

But I highly recommend it if you haven’t already read it.

Snape: There are four seats at a table and we need to figure out where each person sits. There’s mary, will, you, and me. In which order should we sit?

Lily: Me, Mary, you, and Will.

Snape: Try again.

Lily: Me, Will, you, and Mary.

Snape:No…

Lily: As long as I’m as far from you as possible, I think the order is correct.

Remus: *hugs Sirius from behind*

Remus: *plays with Sirius’ hair*

Remus: Eat my chocolate again and I’ll end you.

Remus: I have concluded that I can’t deal with people stupider than me.

James, Sirius and Peter:

Sirius: But you deal with us.

Remus with tons of empty coffee cups beside him and sleep-deprived eyes: Do I really?

Remus: I left my job today. I couldn’t work for that man after what he had said to me.

Sirius: What did he say?

Remus: Remus, you’re fired.

Remus: Be careful!

Sirius: Tried that once. Most boring day of my life.

James, to Lily: If I had a coin for every time you crossed my mind, I would only have one coin because you’re all I think about.

Sirius, interrupting: BRO? WHAT ABOUT ME? BITCH.

Laser Tag

Sirius, on the blue team: Truce, okay?

Remus, on the red team: Sure, love.

*Later*

Remus, shooting Sirius: Bitch, you thought.

Snape: When will the clown sightings start again? That was fun.

Sirius: Look into the mirror and they can start again

Sirius: I like you.

Remus: You must be joking.

Sirius: No, I’m serious.

Remus: Of course you’re Sirius. What do you mean?

Sirius, exasperated: I mean that I like you. I like everything about you.

Remus:

Remus, who hates himself: Sorry, can’t relate.

James, flirting: So, where are you from? Heaven?

Lily: Yeah, I’m a ghost. I died 15 years ago, just like that pick-up line.

Snape: You use emojis like a straight person.

Sirius: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said to me.

remus: sirius, why the fuck did you take astronomy anyway?

professor: …and sirius, the dog star, is the brightest star in the sk-

sirius: THAT is why, moony!

remus: an ego boost?

sirius:precisely

marlene’s mum: oh marlene, honey! if you act like that no boys will like you!

marlene:good

sirius: prongs, do you ever look at remus and think damn i kinda wanna kiss him?

james:pads that’s pretty gay

Sirius: Milkshake with two straws please

Remus *blushing*: aww Sirius!!

Sirius: *putting both straws in his mouth* watch how fast I can drink this :D

Remus:Bitch.

Remus, surrounded by books: I’m like four days past my bed time and emotionally shattered…

Remus: Yet I’ve never felt this alive!

Sirius: Moony single handly has the power to ruin my New Year if he doesnt doesn’t kiss me at midnight.

James:

James: I would say the same about Lily but…

Sirius: …it would never happen to begin with?

Remus: I am alive for three reasons.

Remus: I was born, I have managed to not be killed yet, and Sirius refuses to let me die.

Sirius: Someone peer pressure me to do my homework today…

Marlene: Do it or you’re straight.

Sirius: I said pressure not THREATEN!!

Walburga: I raised perfectly functional children.

Regulus: Do you have other children we don’t know about?

Sirius: Maybe some that you actuallyraised.

James: Hey Lily, I bet you can’t make a sentence without using the letter A!

Lily: You thought you did something very intelligent this time, didn’t you?

James:

James: Whet in merlin’s neme?!

Kidnapper: We have your kid.

Euphemia: Which one?

Kidnapper: Umm… black hair, short, curses with a passion…

Euphemia: Oh you mean Sirius. If you think he’s bad wait until you meet the other three.

Remus: *loathing Sirius for eating his chocolate*

Sirius: *cracks a sly joke and grins at Remus*

Remus: *loathes him slightly less*

Sirius,at 6am: Well my day is officially ruined.

Remus: And why is that?

Sirius: Because you woke up exactly 30 seconds ago and haven’t given me a hug yet.

Remus: I talk to myself a lot because I need an expert opinion.

Sirius: Hey Remus, what do you want for Christmas?

Remus: Is that even a question… chocolate!!

Sirius: I’m your boyfriend I need to get you something better than that.

Remus: What is better than CHOCOLATE?!

James: *holding a plant over Lily* Look what I found in the kitchen!

Lily:

James: It’s mistletoe! You owe me a kiss now!

Lily: Thats parsley…

James: …can we still ki-

Lily: No.

*on his first day of Aurour training*

Harry: Fuck the government!

Hermione: Harry you are the government!

Harry: Well, fuck me then!

James: I put the sexy in dyslexia

Sirius: Oh yeah you do!

Marlene: James-

Lily: Don’t

Lily: I want to see how long it takes them to realize.

Lily: Remus? Did you ever fill out that form I gave about what you are looking for in a significant other?

Remus,hands her the form:

Lily: Okay… Remus this just says ”Hair color and Last name: Black”

Remus: I don’t see a problem with that.

Lily: So either you want to date Sirius, Regulus, or maybe even Walburga. But I’m pretty sure you arent into women or psychotic mothers.

Remus,snatchesform: Clearly I have to fine tune this a bit more…

Marauders Fandom: (to anything cannon) Yeah fuck that, here’s how it really went down…