#incorrect harry potter quotes
Mad Eye: I don’t have favorite Aurors
Mad Eye: I love Tonks and all you non-Tonks equally
Dear tumblr,
please stop recommending Wolfstar blogs to me. There is a reason I check out #remadora every week.
Yours sincerely,
a Remadora stan
Dear OP,
what
Yours sincerely,
A sensible human being
Lol what? Did I do any harm?
That was a little rude of them. Why follow or comment on a blog you don’t agree with if not to spread negativity? Enjoy your things and let other people enjoy their’s. Positive vibes please ✌
[At Disneyland on the teacup ride]
Remus, Molly and Kingsley: *spinning calmly, enjoying their ride in peace*
Sirius, Arthur and Tonks:*flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*
Teddy, *6:45 am in the bed of Remus and Tonks*: Mom, mom, mom, mom, mummy, mummy, mom, mom, MOM!
Tonks: Remus, the little thing is already awake.
Remus: I’m so sorry, I’m not “mummy”
Harry: I’m calling my mother!
Draco: You don’t HAVE a mother!
Molly Weasley, showing up 5 seconds later, blasting threw a wall: What’d you just say you little shit?
Thank you for 400 followers! You guys always make day a little better!
Ravenclaw: So in conclusion, you all now have a curfew, which is 10pm. I know a couple of you love that party night life, but i’m putting my foot down.. Any questions?
Gryffindor:*pouting*
Slytherin: Yes, I have a question.
Ravenclaw: Go ahead.
Slytherin: Who the FUCK do you think you are?
Gryffindor: Yeah! What they said!
gryffindor: so are you straight?
ravenclaw: straight up dead inside.
gryffindor: do children actually like you?
ravenclaw: i’m actually really good with kids!
slytherin: he just despises being around them.
hufflepuff: slytherin isn’t all that bad!
ravenclaw: yeah, she’s a pretty good kisser.
hufflepuff and gryffindor:WHAT
ravenclaw:what
gryffindor: no- she wouldn’t- with you? wait-
hufflepuff: but if you- and then we-
slytherin, from the other room: wow babe, broke them in record time.
ravenclaw: *is hot, angsty, artistic, can bake and can cook*
slytherin: i mean, i hate men, but who knows?
slytherin: i got kicked out of the family because i’m “a liability” and “weak” and “slytherin.” the last one is just my name but you should hear my dad say it.
*Discussing how to deal with the Death Eaters*
Gryffindor: Who do we know that would have handcuffs?
Slytherin: Well, Ravenclaw and I-
Ravenclaw: *elbows Slytherin*
Slytherin: … wouldn’t know.
slytherin: darling, fire whiskey please.
ravenclaw: sly, it’s breakfast.
slytherin: and a piece of toast.
ravenclaw: wait are you flirting with me?
gryffindor: have been for the past couple of weeks but thank you for noticing.
ravenclaw: *talking about his ex boyfriends*
slytherin: does that mean you um, you just swing that way?
ravenclaw: of course not. i swing all ways. i wield a sword.
slytherin: that’s not what i meant-
slytherin: have you ever seen something that changes your life and you’re just like ‘huh’.
ravenclaw: i saw you.
slytherin: honestly that’s very sweet but it really makes this awkward because i was going to show you a photo of a five scoop ice-cream.
hufflepuff: dude are you even human?
ravenclaw: i’m human shaped.
hufflepuff:
hufflepuff: that was not the answer i expected nor wanted.
Ron: I wish I could hang guys but I gotta go hit the books.
Harry, Seamus and Dean: Awwww… :(
Ron *hitting his books with a Reducto*: Okay let’s hang!
Ron, Harry, Seamus and Dean:Yayy!!
Lucius Malfoy at the end of Chamber of Secrets
Sirius: salt can’t be the only delicious rock.
Sirius: i’m going to start eating rocks to find the good ones.
Sirius: I bet they’re trying to hide them from us.
Remus: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say wow that many times during their first session with a client yet here we are.
Sirius: what if I poured coffee into my cereal instead of milk?
Remus, taking the pot: what if you didn’t?
Remus: smart is attractive. tell me something I don’t already know.
Sirius: the mouth of a jellyfish is also its anus.
Remus:stop.
Remus: okay, i’ll go and get the wedding cake.
Sirius: perfect, while you do that i’ll check on the ring bear.
Remus:
Remus: you mean ring bearER, right?
Sirius:
Remus: Sirius, look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.
Sirius, on his first day in azkaban: none of you understand. i’m not locked up in here with you, you’re locked up in here with me.
