#marauders era

man this one’s long

part 1 was here

“Okay, how about this. The beaters flank the three chasers, spiral around them— and the chasers can— do their own spiral across the field to dock and misdirect— and there’ll be like a spiral around a spiral, it’ll be like the moons around the planets around the sun—”

“James,” Sirius groaned, barely listening, “can’t you at least wait till you’re captain of the team?” 

They were on their way from Transfiguration to Charms. Remus and Peter walked ahead, talking animatedly about plants or books or animals or whatever, and James beside him was deep in his impossible Quidditch fantasies. A group of girls walked past them, faux-discreetly throwing eyes at Sirius, and giggled amongst themselves when Sirius grinned and winked at them. He recognised the girl huddled in the centre of the group with the yellow butterfly hairslide. The next Hogsmeade weekend is coming up, he might as well ask one of them out.

Sirius didn’t know exactly when it became his defining reputation, but by fourth year he was definedly known as the bachelor of Gryffindor tower, ladies’ man, heartbreaker, whatever. James found it hilarious, Peter was probably a bit jealous, and Remus, well, Remus looked upon it as he looked upon most of the stupid things they did, with an eyeroll and a sarcastic jibe, familiar and annoying and strangely endearing like bread crumbs in the butter tub. 

—

Sirius was beginning to suspect that Remus was more than long-sufferingly nonchalant about Sirius’ chain of girlfriends that came and went from beside him at the Gryffindor table. 

“So Sirius, what are you doing this evening?” Anne asked cloyingly, leaning towards him, chin on a hand. 

“Oh, nothing much,” Sirius said in his designated flirting voice, “what about you, baby bear?”

Remus faked choking on water from across. Good thing Anne didn’t notice with her eyes fixed on Sirius. He threw Remus a look, which caused him to snort and started coughing in earnest. 

“Oh, what a coincidence, I’m not doing anything either.” The girl smiled, batted her lashes, “want to go venturing after dark?”

“Sounds amazing. I know quite a few hidden spots… want me to show you around?”

“But Sirius,” Remus interjected, sounding deliberately casual, “thought you said the four of us were going to look through the new Quidditch monthly tonight?”

Which was a ridiculous thing for him to suggest, because “Remus, you don’t even care about Quidditch.”

Remus narrowed his eyes, and tightened his lips just so.

“Ooh, do you guys do that every month?”

“Mhm. Quite the event, it usually is.” Remus said, polite and flat and bitingly.

“That’s so sweet of you. Sirius, what a good friend you are.”

“Course he is.” Remus pushed away his half-eaten plate and stood up, turning to Sirius with a hard look, “I need to go get something from the tower before heading to the library. Have a good evening, you two.”

“Yeh. Of course, mate. Catch you in a bit.”

“Bye, Remus!”

Staring at Remus’ retreating back, Sirius bit his cheeks and wondered. It’s been a while since he’s noticed the way Remus was shifty, restless, more flammable than usual around the girls. So perhaps… 

“Hey, Anne, I’ve just remembered I needed to get something. Wanna just meet later outside the tower?” 

-

“You’re jealous.”

“What the fuck are you on about?” 

“You know what I’m on about.”

Remus didn’t go to the library. Of course he didn’t. Sirius found him tucked into bed aggressively flicking through the Quidditch ‘zine that arrived that morning— which he understood none of, obviously. 

Remus scoffed, “You think I want a string of girls to fawn over me and fake interest in?”

“No!” Sirius laughed, “you’re jealous of them.”

“You are a preposterous piece of shit.”

“I’m right, aren’t I.”

Remus glared at him, before finally relenting. “Fine,” he said shortly.

Sirius grinned.

“I wouldn’t call it jealous.”

“Then what are you?”

“Just annoyed.”

“Why?”

“Why what? Why wouldn’t I be annoyed. You’re spending so little time with us.”

“With you.”

“Huh?”

“You meant I’m spending less time with you.”

Remus huffed, rolled his eyes. “Fine. With me. I miss you, ‘kay?” he admitted. And he would have been embarrassed of the admission had Sirius not immediately beamed at him. Remus smiled back carefully, and Sirius felt his heart do a little jump. 

“But Moony! You know I’m not going anywhere! You’re stuck with me—” he tackled them both onto his bed, pushing down Remus’ skinny shoulders before starting to madly tickle his sides, “forever—”

Remus laughed breathlessly as he tried to shove him off, “yeah alright, alright! Gerroff me now!”

-

However, all that was forgotten the moment Peter and James barged in the door, breathless with laughter, shouting “Mate, you won’t believe what we did to Filch just now!”

“Is that why you missed dinner?” Remus muttered, “you tossers.” 

“Oh no, it was so worth missing dinner for.”

“I don’t know, Prongs. Aren’t you hungry? I’m hungry.” Peter’s stomach grumbled on cue. He looked at them hopefully, “haven’t got any food, have you?”

Sirius shook his head, but Remus smirked, producing two wraps from his bag. 

James cheered, “Oh Moony, you’re the best!” 

“Now let’s see… what should I demand for this?”

“Name your price!”

“Hmm. What about the astronomy charts for a week?”

Peter snorted, “as if you’ve ever done yours.”

“Sure I did. In first year.”

-

Time disappeared in stretches of hours when it was just the Marauders bundled together in a room. Therefore, it was nearly two hours later that Remus suddenly sat up and kicked Sirius in the shin.

“Ow! What!”

“Sirius, didn’t you promise Anne to meet tonight?”

Oh.

“Who’s Anne now?” Peter asked, head hanging off the side of his bed, on which James was standing eulogising the greatness of the Czech national team.

“Sirius’ girlfriend?”

“Awh.” James paused in his act, jumped down from the bed, “have you got to go now?”

“Yeah… probably.” He glanced towards Remus, who was giving him an unreadable look. He remembered their conversation just earlier. “But… it’s already so late. She’s probably already gone.” Sirius shrugged. 

“Huh. Alright then. No harm done, yeah?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

-

“I waited for you outside the Gryffindor dorm for so long. What do you take me for? A fucking doll at your beck and call?”

Sirius looked skywards. Only to be met with centuries-old wooden beams and vaulted ceilings. He had a sudden bizarre vision of the sons of Gryffindor himself walking these halls bracing themselves through petty teenage affairs. 

“Are you even listening to me?”

Sirius winced. “Sorry Anne—”

“Oh, you are a right bastard aren’t you? Good day, Black, hope you have fun with whatever you did before me.” She spat, before she spun on her heels and marched away.

Sirius sighed. He probably deserved that. Oh well. All this was only fun till they started wanting to be around all the time, anyway.

—

“You don’t always need a girl by your side, you know?”

“What you do mean,” Sirius gasped, faux scandalised, “course I do, I’ve a reputation to uphold!”

“Hey, I’m serious.”

“No, I’m Sirius.”

Remus ignored him. “You shouldn’t be dating because you feel like it’s something you need to do.”

“Moons, that’s ridiculous. What even gave you that idea?”

—

Sirius felt all the butterbeer bouncing in this veins, and his grin was jaw-achingly wide as he watched James, two ridiculous pointy hats on his head, trying to drag every passer-by into the party that was growing louder and more crowded by the minute. Not even another rejection by Lily Evans could deter his birthday spirits.

However, Sirius was far from as robust a soul. He was just as second too slow ducking behind the record player, and Zoe had caught him by the wrist.

“Now where are you going? Don’t you want to hang out with me?”

“No, why don’t you leave me alone?” 

“Sirius, what the fuck?”

“Merlin, it’s my best friend’s birthday, I’ve gotta be with him!”

“Why did you invite me, then, if you were going to ignore me all night long?”

“Well you wouldn’t have been happy either if I didn’t ask you to come, would you?”

The girl scoffed, “you’re not trying to blame me, are you?” 

“No, of course not, I—” he ran a hand through his hair, and scanned the crowd. “Hey, Remus!” he called out, then turned back to the girl, “Look, Zoe, we’ll talk later, alright?” he said, without a shred of intention to continue this conversation. 

He tried to put a hand to her arm, but she shirked him off. “Suit yourself then, Black.” she muttered in a dangerous undertone, then spun on her heels and disappeared through the crowd.

It was just what he needed to turn around and see Remus approaching, looking at him disapprovingly. “What was that about?”

“Oh, nevermind. Can we go get the cake now?”

-

The Friday afternoon after James’ party, Sirius sat by the lake alone waiting for Zoe to show up. He had with him a bunch of flowers, as a half-hearted gesture of apology. The moment he saw the expression she approached him with, Sirius groaned internally. Why does this happen every time?   

“Yeah. So I’ve been thinking. We should probably stop seeing each other.”

“Oh, what happened?” Sirius said disinterestedly.

Zoe narrowed her eyes at him.

“Fair enough.” 

She shook her head. “I can’t believe you, Black.”

“Yeah. Whatever. See you around.”

She huffed, and left without a response. Sirius took the long way back just to walk in a different direction. 

-

When he was back at the castle gates, Sirius was still holding the flower bunch. He sighed, motioning to toss it away, but stopped himself at the last second. It would be such a waste, wouldn’t it? And in any case, why didn’t he buy flowers and chocolates for his friends? The thought filled him with excitement, and he raced to the common room with newly lifted spirits, thrusting the bunch of flowers at James the moment he found him.

“Here— these are for you!”

“Mrmgph,” James said through a faceful of flowers, “the date went well then?”

Sirius snorted. The oblivious bastard. “What date?”

“The one you had just n— OH. I see, alright.”

“I don’t know what you’re seeing, James, must be a smudge on the glasses. Anyway, I got these just for you!”

“Really,” James said, amused. “What suddenly gave you the idea?” His eyes twinkled teasingly behind the glasses.

“Oh well, I just thought we should. Why don’t we buy flowers and chocolates for each other, you know?”

And there started the legendary week during which their dorm overflowed with bunches of all kinds of flowers, as Sirius and James sought to one-up each other with their loving proclamations. By spillover, everyone started finding flowers in their bags and their clothes. The unfortunate ones with an allergy cursed the living daylights out of them. Remus quietly stashed away all the chocolate that came with.

Sirius had even managed to steal a small sprig of hyacinth into Remus’ hair behind his ear without him noticing, and he’d gone around for the greater part of a day with the purple flowers tucked in his curls. The sight had made him ridiculously bubbly.

-

A week later at breakfast, Remus was, without explanation, suddenly staring intensely at him. 

“What are you looking at?”

“Don’t look away.”

“Ooh, staring contest?” Peter said from beside them, between mouthfuls of food.

“Huh I see. You’re on, Moony.” Staring back into Remus’ eyes with as much concentration.

Though moments later, Remus snapped his finger, Sirius blinked, and a flower crown appeared on his head, of primroses and daisies and soft pink roses.

James laughed delightedly, “you totally had that coming, Pads.”

Remus smirked satisfiedly. Sirius tried to lift the crown off his head, but the curling strands furled right back onto his hair. Well that’s impressive.

“It won’t come off till dinner.”

“Good thing I pull it off, then.”

“Yeah, you sort of do.” Remus said, smile turning soft.

-

It was just his luck that one of the letters from his mother arrived for him in Hogsmeade, on his date, of all times and places. He couldn’t help the dark mood that followed him like a raincloud on steroids all afternoon, and try as he might, he simply couldn’t muster up the energy to pay attention to the girl beside him. 

He couldn’t decide if it was a blessing or a curse that she’d clocked why.

“I could help you, Sirius.”

“Greta, no really, you don’t need to worry about it.”

“You should talk about it with someone else, shouldn’t you? And I could be there for you, just let me know what’s going on.”

“I mean, if this your idea of a good conversation topic for emotional bonding—” Greta looked affronted, “it’s not, alright? I’m not going to tell you about my family.”

“I’m only trying to be considerate! And don’t you shout about your family all time time?”

“Well yeah. But what happens between my parents and brother stays between us.”

“So it’s about your brother— are you fighting?” She creased her brows and put on a concerned voice. 

“Can we, maybe not?”

“Why are you being so stubborn about this—”

“I don’t want it going around in the gossip mill, alright?” Sirius almost shouted.

Greta’s face contorted, froze in a shocked grimace. “Is that all you think of me?”

“Oh schlizers.” Sirius ran a hand over his face, “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“But you thought it?”

“No, I—”

Sirius stopped at her look. She bit her lips, expression stony and on the verge of tears as well. She glowered at him for a long moment, then began:

“I thought you wanted something with me, Sirius Black. I thought we were onto something here. And what did you think? That I came from the gossip and will be to the gossip? God I can’t believe—”

“Hey, wait a second. When did we ever say we were going to be more? It’s you who kept pushing—”

“What did you want then? Snogging at the back of greenhouses and tossing the girl out once you get bored? Should you have wanted us to sign a contract on it to say I was okay with it?”

“Look, I don’t know where you’re dragging in all that from—”

“Black. No, I’m not going to stand this. If you could take one moment to try and be less selfish—”

-

The thought stuck grimy in his mind long after Sirius had stormed off. But he wasn’t selfish, inconsiderate, was he? He wasn’t a bad person and friend, was he? As though to prove himself a point, he took a long detour all the way to the kitchens to pick up a chocolate fudge cake, a lemon meringue pie and a whole basket of overbaked naans. 

—

“Sirius Black!”

Sirius sighed, paused in his steps, and turned around down the corridor. “What is it?”

“I need to talk to you, now.”

“Yeah, sorry Kat, not now, alright?”

“Yeah well. You’ve been saying that for a week.”

“I am genuinely sorry. Look I just, I’ve got somewhere to be right now.” It was the full moon that night, and the Marauders stuck around Moony, doing whatever they could, before and after the moon every month. It was unnegotiable. They’d figured out what their animagus forms were going to be just after new year’s, and he couldn’t wait until they were finally able to actually accompany him.

Kat was still glaring at him. “Tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, can’t do that either.”

“Why?”

“Can’t really tell you.”

“I just want to talk to you, what’s so hard about making time.”

Sirius was starting to get annoyed. “Look, if you want something else, why don’t you go find someone else?”

-

The moment Sirius made it through their door, Remus’ head snapped to him, “what’s up with you now?”

“Nothing! Kitchen mission has been successful—”

“No, no.” Remus pointed a finger at him, “you reek of psychological distress.”

“Oh right. Fine.” Sirius never ceased to be absolutely awestruck by the wolf peeking through, “Well, um. Another one down.”

Remus snorted. “Not again, you.”

“Unfortunately, yeah.”

“What’s it this time?”

“She thinks I didn’t care about her feelings.”

“Classic. Don’t it make you wonder if it just might be true?”

“What can I say? Everybody’s looking for sympathy but nobody’s ready to give them,” Sirius intoned dramatically, “I just want love, Moony! Is that too much to ask for?”

“I told you to stop stealing James’ crappy romance novels.”

“Hey— I most certainly did not—”

—

“Do you want to have sex?” Elena asked him under her breath, the two of them having broken apart for air behind one of hidden alcoves. 

“Why, do you?” Sirius asked, a little startled and trying not to show it.

“Yeah. You’re so handsome.”

“Oh I know love,” Sirius smirked, and tried to distract them by pulling her back into the kiss.

But she caught his hands, “And so gentlemanly too. You never asked for more, never pushed us to do anything else. But here—” she left his hands at his side, and started reaching for the buttons of her blouse. 

Sirius was stunned. He didn’t know what to say or do. Having taken his widened eyes as a sign of encouragement. She continued undoing the buttons until the shirt was hanging open between them. She wore only a thin cotton bra underneath. He could see the shape of her nipples.

“Do you want to—” Elena took both his hands in hers, and drew them to her chest. 

Sirius had completely frozen, even when she placed her hands over his and squeezed a little. Her flesh was too warm, too full under his hands, even through the material. Some deep-seated voice in his mind told him that he was feeling full-bodiedly uncomfortable.  

“Or do you… just not want to.” Elena said questioningly.

“I—” Sirius tried to push past the tightness in his throat. 

Looking at him for a couple more long moments, her eyes widened a little, as she appeared to clock something in her head. “Hmm.”

She let his hands fall, and started doing the buttons of her shirt back up again.

And finally having found his voice, Sirius felt such a devastating wave of embarrassment wash over him. Godric, what was wrong with him? What in hell possessed him to freeze up? “I’m sorry, I just—”

“Oh, Sirius, dear, don’t worry.”

“I don’t know why—”

“Really, it’s okay!” She smiled to reassure him. It looked genuine.

“Do you want to kiss again?”

“Nah, we’re alright.” she took his hands in hers and squeezed. “I did think you seemed to be more interested in the sneaking around than the snogging, in general, anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Sirius muttered.

She shrugged, lips twitching with a smile.

As they fell quiet. Sirius frowned and looked away.

“I think,” he said after a few moments, “maybe we should, um.”

“Break up?”

Sirius turned to face her, realising that she’d been looking at him carefully this whole while. “Sure.”

“Or did you think there’s nothing to break up if we weren’t really in a relationship in the first place?”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I just meant we’ll— stop doing, this. Sorry.”

“Oh no, don’t worry. I’ll just have to go after some other fish. Tianze seems like a bright boy, good looking too, no?”

“Oh yeah,” Sirius nodded enthusiastically. “Great bone structure, killer of a jawline. Good height as well.”

She smiled at him mysteriously. 

“What?”

“You’re so lovely, Sirius.” She pecked him lightly on the cheeks, “whoever you find will be so lucky to have you.”

-

All the way back to the Gryffindor tower, Sirius couldn’t shake off the overwhelming wrongness he felt under his own skin. He replayed again and again the few moments, wondering, wondering what the hell was broken inside him. What did it mean, what was he going to do.

When he threw open the dorm door to the three boys playing gobstone on the floor in their pyjamas, they all looked up at him in surprise.

“Sirius! I thought you were hanging out with that Ravenclaw girl.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Elena’s got a name, Prongs.”

“Which one is she again?” Peter said distractedly, “long white hair, brown eyes?”

“I think so. Really smart too.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Anyway, Pads, what happened?”

“Nothing!” He shrugged, flopping onto the floor and upsetting the game, “thought it’s a Marauders night tonight— let’s go do something.”

“Can we get food? I’m famished.” 

“We could sneak into the kitchens and make pancakes!”

“Oh Merlin, yes! Wait, I’ve got a recipe somewhere too!”

Sirius grinned. He knew his friends would help take things off his mind. “Brilliant— let’s go now!”

-

Midnight found Sirius laughing his stomach into stitches as they made a riot of the kitchens, covering every surface with flour. Remus was purposefully dribbling the batter all over the place, making a horrific mess of the pancakes on the stove, which was sending Peter into an absolute frenzy because “REMUS that’s my MOTHER’s recipe!” and “can’t you make them circular?”

“Pete, it’s pancakes, they’re supposed to be fucked up! And hey— we’ll clean it up when we leave, don’t you worry about the house elves!”

The whole thing was sending Sirius into fits of laughter, for no apparent reason. His hands shook as he continued trying to make his pancake the shape of a penis.

Remus looked over and shook his head, “you are so fucking dumb.”

And then James hit him on the back of the head with a ball of cookie dough, causing them to descend into absolute chaos, until all four were covered with mysterious mixtures from head to toe. As they lunged and grabbed at each other to make even more of a mess, Sirius wondered why he would ever want for anyone else.

-

part 3

a short series of asexual sirius & aroace remus. fluff packet with attempt at plot. the story starts at spring of third year. pls pls lmk if you think something isn’t right.

As clichéd a characterisation as this might sound, it shall not be denied that Sirius Black was a social being. Sirius wasn’t like Remus, who honest to Merlin did not give a royal fuck about ‘other people’. And to Sirius, it was as admirable as unfathomable. 

No, because Sirius instinctively reached for other people, flourished in their company. He bathed in the warmth of companionship and held them as close as they would let him— or as close as he could let himself. Blame it on his affection-less upbringing or what you will, he was constantly seeking, probing; looking for attention, reaction; standing out, acting out, not that there’s any acting involved. 

Because damn it, he drank in the way he could build a reputation, win a crowd, intuit all the tiny ways to interact with another. He thrived in other people. 

So it is with surprised glee that Sirius welcomed when that pretty fifth year girl— Amelia, her name was— marched up to him in the common room and demanded a date with him, on his first ever Hogsmeade weekend. (He got Orion to sign his permission slip, when he’d been just more than slightly on the side of inebriated, since Walburga clearly would never have.) They’d quickly agreed to meet for lunch in the village, and he pressed himself to play it cool, matching flirt for flirt, wink for wink.

When she smiled one last time and turned away with a flourish, Sirius looked back to see all three of his friends staring at him. 

James and Peter were gaping like a fish, and Remus was giving him a funny little look, lips pressed together like he was holding in a laugh.

He opened his mouth to ask Remus what he’s on about, but James beat him to it.

“Mate!”

“I can’t just believe that just happened!” Peter joined him.

“You just got asked out!”

“I mean, of course Sirius was going to be the first to fall out of us.”

“Moony, what do you mean fall? This is brilliant! We’ve got to get you all set up— what do you think you should bring?”

“You could buy her flowers? Or maybe chocolate?”

“On the first date? Seems a bit much doesn’t it?”

“Hmm. But you still could. Get something from Honeydukes on the way, it’s perfect.”

“Oh yea. I could do that.”

“I still can’t believe that just happened.” Peter shook his head, “how did you get so lucky?”

“This is historic,” James said with finality, “we need to do something tonight to celebrate. To commemorate.”

“You’re so dumb. All of you.”

-

When the Hogsmeade day arrived, however, the boys, Sirius included, were all too excited for their own adventures around the village to leave much thoughts for Sirius’ event. They spent the morning roaming the cobbled streets under warm sunshine, stuffing themselves with candies and chocolates, contemplating buying out at least half of Zonko’s.

Around noon, Remus said suddenly, “Haven’t you got to go, Sirius?” 

“What? What do you mean?” Sirius creased his brows, puzzled.

“Your date with Amelia?”

“Oh! Right yeh. I have that.”

Peter gasped, turning around abruptly and grabbing Sirius’ arm. “You’ve got to hurry! Can’t be late— or maybe you can. Maybe you should try to be exactly three minutes late.”

“Oh my gosh. I can’t believe we almost forgot!”

“What do you mean we, James, it’s Sirius’ date.”

“Romantic affair of the brother is an affair of the family.” He moved forward to straighten Sirius’ robes, “we’ve got some chocolate, haven’t we? Moony?”

“Nu-uh. No way I’m handing over.” Remus shook his head vigorously, then grabbed a bunch of marigolds from the side of the path. “Here, just take these.”

“Aren’t these actually poisonous?” Peter grimaced.

“Oh they’ll be fine,” Remus rolled his eyes, but tore a side from the chocolates’ paper bag to wrap around the bright yellow bunch, “here.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said. He took out the bunch of Zonko trinkets from his pocket to look for a hairband, to tie the flower bunch at the roots. 

“Oh!” James lunged at him, “Give those here! You can’t bring dungbombs to a date!”

Sirius protested as James moved to empty the contents of his pockets. “Merlin! Stop fussing, you’re such a mum!” he laughed.

“Also, we’re walking you there.” Peter said firmly, James nodded.

“Can’t let a brother walk alone into battle.”

“You guys are so ridiculous. Remus, Help me out?”

Remus, who Sirius had the feeling was finding this whole thing very funny indeed, tilted his head just so and looked at him all faux solemnly. “Oh, you know, what they said.” 

Sirius groaned. “You three are the worst.”

And he was not at all surprised to see three identical shit-eating grins glowing back at him.

-

“Got yourself an entourage?” Amelia said, smiling as she pushed from the wall outside Madam Puddifoot’s. 

“Oh, yeah,” Sirius chuckled, amazed to find himself actually nervous, “Just my friends, don’t worry about them. They’re a bunch of idiots.”

It then occurred to him that this sounded rather like something Remus would say. 

He made a face towards them, praying that they’d now go away and leave him alone. Leave they did, though not without excessive thumbs up and exaggerated winks. 

Amelia chuckled. “They’re cute.”

“Yeah sure.” Sirius sighed exasperatedly.

“Well, let’s go in then.”

“After you.”

-

The date was alright. They ordered food and talked. And the conversation was interesting enough that Sirius could forget about the density of frills that looked like they were out to choke him. But anyway, he liked to think they hit it off rather well. Sirius told anecdotes about his family and those stupid pureblood circles, which often seemed to be a crowd favourite. When he mentioned Remus and his David Bowie obsession, she’d lit up, and went on such a splurge about muggle music and bands and playing the guitar. He could just imagine Remus finding her insanely cool.

As their empty plates got cleared and they were sipping away on (awfully sweet) vanilla tea, Amelia lowered her chin, and looked at him meaningfully through her lashes. And Sirius realised what was about to happen.

She leaned forward, and gave him a peck on the lips— just a peck. Drawing back, she laughed at his slightly stunned kind of smile, then reached forward again, this time with both hands cupping his neck and cheek, and kissed him full on the mouth. 

The kiss itself was neither here nor there. But Sirius felt excited nonetheless. He’d kissed a girl. Wow.

Okay.

He probably should figure out how to properly return a kiss, but Amelia didn’t seem too bothered. As she finally drew back, she smiled so brightly at him, which he could only return.

They left Madam Puddifoot’s shortly after that. And she chuckled when Sirius held open the door for her.

“Does this mean you want to be my girlfriend now?” Sirius asked suddenly, a bit worried.

Amelia laughed again. She was cool like that. Though it did get on Sirius’ nerves a bit.

“No, not really. I just wanted to get to know you. I really like you, Sirius, but nah. Doesn’t have to mean I want to be your girlfriend.”

“Oh good. I mean—” He internally gave himself a smack, “yeah, alright. That’s fine.” 

“Yeah. Well, thank you for the date, Sirius. We should go out again some day. See you around?”

“Oh yeah, sounds good. And no problem— see you.”

-

Sirius caught up with the boys as they were strolling leisurely back up towards the castle, the late afternoon sun goldening their skin.

“Sirius! There you are!”

“How was the date!”

Sirius shrugged, “Good.” 

“What did you guys do?”

“Normal date stuff. We ate and talked a lot.” He said, feeling particularly powerful as he scanned his friends’ eager faces, “We had vanilla tea.”

Remus grimaced right on cue. Sirius grinned to himself. Remus hated vanilla.

“Oh also, she kissed me.”

“Oh my god!” James shouted and Peter gasped loudly, right in the middle of the street, “no way! Pads! What the hell! How was it?”

“A bit wet,” he said dismissively, thoroughly enjoying his friends’ antics.

“Well that sounds just delightful.” Remus said, with a smile that betrayed his wording and tone. What a classic Remus. 

“But it was still good.” Sirius said quickly.

“I reckon you’ll just get better at it, though.”

“For sure, I’ll be the best.”

“Ah. My man. Can’t believe you get to have all the practice now.”

“We’re never going to catch up.”

“When the time comes, will you teach me a few tricks for Evans?”

“James. Ew.”

-

Sirius went out with Amelia again a couple of times, and they snogged a bit at the end every time. Sirius thought it was rather neat, as he got to know his way around all those usual dating spots, and he was soon feeling rather versed in the ins and outs of going on dates. He, as James said, did also get to practise the whole kissing thing as well. Amelia was obviously quite good at it, but Sirius thought he must be getting better. And in any case, he didn’t think Amelia minded, the way she smiled at him, flushed and breathless every time.

However, he still kept wondering why she’d ask him out in the first place, and every time he asked, she’d laugh and shake her head.

“Come on, Sirius, I’ve told you. It’s just ‘cause I liked you, that’s all.”

“…And how did you even decide that? Do you just look around the hall at boys and decide you like them?”

“Sure,” She shrugged, sounding a little puzzled, “don’t everyone?”

-

After that, Sirius started looking. For the signs. And sure enough, he’s caught at least a couple of girls ‘making eyes’ at him. Apparently, his name was running hot through the lines of gossip, ever since the word had spread that he was going out with a fifth year. 

Sirius felt a little thrill run through him at the thought. He could play this game alright.

-

part 2

Holding the closed envelope in his hand, Remus felt as though he’d carved his heart out from his chest and painted his entire sleeve red. Gods it wasn’t like him, he thought, to write a letter like this. He’d been so recklessly, almost cruelly honest. He had to end it in a hurry as well, before all the certainty slipped from his mind. The air was heating up rapidly after the morning passed, sweat started to gather on his forehead. He shoved the letter into the post, lest the jittering in his chest made him pull back and tear it up. 

—

Sirius,

I hope you’re doing well. James sent me a letter earlier this This is not a letter to offer you forgiveness. Though that’s a complicated business, as I’m sure you understand. Yet, part of me feels I still could tell you about a few things on my mind. 

James sent me a letter earlier this week. A tiny note, not much else beyond the haphazard announcement that you’ve run away from home. He told me I didn’t need to reply right away, that I should feel free to take as much time as I needed. But since I’ve been having all the time in the world at home, I have been obsessing my way through these thoughts. Here’s to share some of them, until I visit.

Before anything else, Sirius, I know you. Thus, I feel as though I could see exactly which string pulled in your head, and which string didn’t jump to react, that led to you doing what you did. This goes for both your running away and what you did before the end of school. I don’t know if I should be the one to pronounce judgements but— what happened and what you did to me was beyond rash and stupid (it goes without saying), but does not make you an evil person.

I could see how sorry you’ve been, despite not having approached me at all (which I appreciate, so thank you). I could tell how you’ve been beating yourself up, how you’ve locked yourself in your head this month at Grimmauld— ready to react, to lash out, to prove. 

So now tell me, if I’m so wrong in assuming, whatever happened that led to your running away, was at least in part because of me?

I know the Potters must be trying their best to take care of you. And I’m sorry thatI.regret that don’t want to add to your agitation, so I thought it’s best that I wait before going to see you. Because Padfoot, I feel I shouldn’t forgive you so easily. Nor should I, out of respect for myself, offer forgiveness because I know how bad you’re feeling, or for I know what you did because of me. In the close possible world of having actually made a murderer out of me, I would surely never forgive you nor myself. 

Though I have a confession to make. This is something which, for once, I doubt that you know. 

It is perhaps a lie to say that I could have killed Severus that night. It would not have happened as you imagined, if James hadn’t arrived in time. Because you see, James didn’t arrive in time. There were a couple of seconds when Snape, screaming, got a good look at me, long enough for any other wolf to have taken a lunge at him. But even as I snarled and bared my teeth, I was in my own mind. I found myself able to hold my head in the wolf’s, in the presence of another— hostile— human being, even without any of you around.

It is this realisation that has accompanied every other dreadful feeling passing through my head since. It occurred to me that in the wake of the whole business with Snape, perhaps I should be feeling more ashamed of what I am than ever. But I was not. Am not. Does this surprise you? It was you who taught me this. Since you— all of you— started running with me. You made me see this horrible thing could have its glimpse of something beautiful, of happiness.

As I am writing, I draw up the vivid memory of a full moon, in my own eyes, albeit through the wolf. The three of you would be close behind me, and all the grounds would be sizzling with moonlight and magic.

Anyway. 

I think about facing Snape again, and I feel a strange kind of honesty. To myself. I feel defiant— rather than ashamed— about looking Snape in the eyes again. Why wouldn’t I? I’ve been hiding but, I only hope that someday I’ll have nothing more to hide. Let the moon shine on all the broken pieces.

And that leads me to the second thing I wanted to say to you. Sirius, all our lives we’ve been made to feel in pain, having been broken, irrevocably lost something that makes one whole, normal. That we’re missing something crucial in our perspective that means we’ll never see ourselves and the world in the same way as them. But Sirius, love, we’ve come through. And standing on the other side, we can see better. 

It’s a gift, that we should see the world differently from them, that we are able to. Magic is a gift. Loving you is a gift. And I can see it now, the wolf is a gift.

There’s pain. But that means it’s real— it’s because of the pain that it’s real. I think of the others, drifting through life without a glitch, without an ounce of wonder at what’s in the grey underside of fluffy white clouds. Think of Peter. His shelters. Those are all that he has. For his whole life all he’s known are shelters, and he’d grow up only anxious to find more shelters. But we stand beyond it, don’t we? We can run free and wild, if only we could pry off the shackles in our head. And beyond anything else, this is the one thought I’ve been having since everything. Do you see what I mean?

Ma is calling me to breakfast, I’m afraid I’ll have to end the letter here. I hope I’ll see you soon, I want to know what you have to say to me. And I hope you see now forgiveness is a strange thing I don’t yet know what to do with. I hope we figure it out.

Yours,

Remus

Remus came to with thunder that rolled through the forest air. It was the first crack of spring. He felt the rain soothing in his aching bones before feeling it on his skin. It was cool and welcoming for the way his body burned after a transformation.

The next thing he was aware of was being carried, steady and careful, across the grounds. Through what must have been a blanket wrapped around him, he pressed himself closer to the shoulder by his head.

He opened his eyes, and there was Sirius, stifling a yawn and watching the rain between them and the shack. The impervious charm over them both flickered in and out, Sirius struggling with the effort to wandlessly keep it up while also carrying Remus. “Fuck it,” Remus herd him mutter, and let the shield drop entirely, while trying to wrap the blanket tighter around him.

Should he be embarrassed? Of having to be carried bridal style, of getting treated like an ailing child? At a stronger moment he might have been, but in this hour of nothing but fuzzy affection, Remus thought, perhaps if he kept all his vulnerability boxed away save for one person, perhaps it could be fine.

Remus reached an arm around Sirius’ shoulder to hold himself up, watching a smile grow into the curling tracks of rain on his face as he realized Remus was awake.

“Morning Moons,” Sirius grinned down at him, soft with a dash of sheepish. “I told James and Pete to head back. Given the lovely weather.”

“Itisnice.” He breathed in deeply the cool fresh air, just a hint of wet dog. It almost cut through the exhaustion that shrouded his mind.

“Isn’t it nice being carried like a princess?”

Remus fought the urge to blush. If this was anyone but Sirius, he’d be mortified to death. “Oh yes, thank you ever so much my charming saviour,” he mumbled, then quickly added, “I can walk.”

“Hush, I will not hear of it,” Sirius said, rounded vowels mimicking Madame Pomfrey’s chiding tones. “Besides, that would ruin the pagan ritual I’m bringing you as a sacrifice for.”

Remus snorted, Sirius laughed. “What! It’s the first storm of spring!”

Blinking away the rain, Remus returned his gaze. Sirius was grinning at him, small and lopsided, water rounding his sharp chin, straight nose, and dripped from his curls which, drenched, hung in delicate strands framing his face. 

There was just the two of them, alone out on the empty, on the slip of ground outside the forest. Remus in Sirius’ arms, their backs against the darkened woods and facing a sun nowhere to be found. Sirius stopped walking. All round them stretched the crisp mutter of rain, falling in pearly strings in the windless translucent air. And the whole world was the colour of Sirius’ eyes.

In a sudden rush of clarity that rang through his head like an ancient bell from miles and miles away, Remus dared not hesitate before he reached up to Sirius with both hands and brought their lips together. 

Remus was immediately drunk with it, Sirius’ muffled noise of surprise melted so quickly into responding to the kiss. They couldn’t contain their smiles, stretching wide and etching rain into each other’s lips. The blanket was sliding off his shoulder, and Remus had his hands in his hair, tracing a damp brow, rubbing circles on his chin. Then Sirius was putting him down so his hands were free to cup the back of his neck, draw the blanket back around him, smooth down his shoulder, his back, holding close round his waist. 

When they drew apart, it was slowly with absolute awe in their eyes. It then occurred to Remus to wonder, because what did he have to lose but what seemed like the whole world? How much dare he risk when he’d no idea what they would be? Except— he did, he did. He saw the look in Sirius’ eyes behind the damp lashes, he felt Sirius’ fingers, featherlight on his chin.

“You knew?” Sirius asked quietly, undrowned-out by the rain.

“No. Did you?”

“Course not,” a smile twitched at his lips, “now I do.”

“Now we do.”

unpopular opinions/my accepted head cannons: ✨marauders edition✨

• Remus x Sirius
• James and Sirius were best friends but Sirius was also very close with Remus before they got together
• James x Lily
• Regulus was actually an enemy of Voldemort’s the whole time but acted as though he was a death eater in order to successfully “betray” him
• Marlene was the second best quidditch player on the team (to James)
• Remus was “one of the girls” (he had a special bond with the girl friends that the other marauders didn’t have)
• Remus and Lily had a very close friendship and definitely gossiped about each other’s relationship to one another
• Regulus is bi or pan
• Lily’s smarter than Remus
• Peter was always a bitchass fuckhead
• Sirius paints his nails and sometimes Remus will too
• Sirius does like to wear dresses/skirts sometimes but only around remus, James and Lily bc he gets insecure (poor baby )
• Remus admired James growing up and wanted to be like him until he found himself
• Remus is bi
• James was always kind of insecure but used his cockiness and confidence to cover it up
• Sirius had longer hair all his life bc it pissed off his mom
• Remus and Sirius are both switches depending on the(ir) mood
• Lily is a top
• James is a switch
• Peters a bottom
• Remus and Sirius have a couples tattoo
• The marauders have matching group tattoo
• Sirius always felt guilty for leaving Remus thinking that his best friends were dead and boyfriend was a killer who betrayed them
• Snape never loved Lily he was just obsessed

marauders favorite artists (modern and older):

• prongs: Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, Ed Sheeran, maroon 5, MARINA, The beetles, Fleetwood Mac, niall horan, 1D, Adele, Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, Beyoncé, Billy Joel, Bruno Mars, Demi Lovato, Little Mix
• padfoot: Stevie Nicks, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, the beetles, mother mother, girl in red, mcr, fob, Taylor Swift, Nirvana, louis tomlinson, The 1975, 5sos, Beyoncé, Conan Gray, Lana Del Rey
• moony: Hozier, clairo, David Bowie, girl in red, Fleetwood Mac, harry styles, The Rolling Stones, Taylor Swift, niall horan, Lin-Manuel Miranda, The 1975, Alec Benjamin (?), Beach Bunny, Janis Joplin, Billy Joel, Coldplay, Elton John, Lana Del Rey
• wormtail: *insert artists who make bad music and are bad people*

marauders favorite Taylor swift albums-

• prongs: fearless, lover, red
• moony: folklore, evermore, fearless (Taylor’s Version)
• padfoot: reputation, 1989, red (Taylor’s version)
• wormtail: reputation (just bc he’s an absolute ass), Speak Now, evermore

just my opinion tho

Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so

- Sirius Orion Black

Reference:X

Context: [insert]

Pose reference by the lovely @mugges

“He kept messing up his hair,” said Harry in a pained voice. Sirius and Lupin laughed.

“I’d forgotten he used to do that,” said Sirius affectionately.

“Was he playing with the Snitch?” said Lupin eagerly.

- James Fleamont Potter

Every marauder blog I’m starting to like, unprovoked: Snape ate children and sniffed Lily’s underwear I saw it with my own eyes!

Lily waited until Petunia was near enough to have a clear view, then held out her palm. The flower sat there, opening and closing its petals, like some bizarre, many-lipped oyster.

-

Model:Madeline Ford

More Harry Potter fan art! I gave drawing @bcdaily ’s Commentarius gang a go because I don’t give the marauders era enough love tbh

Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so…

-Remus