I have produced an artist book to accompany the Mental Health Perspectives project. In it, I have written about the story of how the work evolved from participant research to creation of work which was inspired by this. It includes photography work by Laura Ruxton who collaborated with me on the project as well as featuring a few extracts from the original questionnaires. There is also explanations of ‘No One Loves Me’ and 'A Tangled Mind’. It finishes with an up to date bio.
I had this printed through blurb books and I am really happy with the results as a way to explain and accompany my practice to this point documenting and reflecting on the journey through the Ma. I am hoping to have a copy available at the Ma show for people to read through.
An important extract: “I would like to dedicate this book to all the participants who took part in the mental health questionnaire. I have worked with an honest open group of people who have helped to build a bigger picture of what mental illness looks like. Without you, this work would not exist”.
My Mental Health: Perspectives textile project is coming into focus with developed artwork being photographed on the body. Textile artwork visualises the invisible affects of mental health on the mind and body.
Symptoms visualised include feeling restricted around the neck, feeling weight on the chest. Visualising the invisible emotional barrier and cocoon we make for ourselves to shelter us from the external world. A cocoon which also can become a self made and self contained cell.
Colours and formations are inspired by participants responses to a questionnaire I conducted on the same theme of asking participants to make their invisible feelings physical through drawing and writing. Responses informed artwork.
Colours of greys and blacks generated by an overwhelming theme from most questionnaire responses.
Words embroidered with a machine on the bodice state “No one loves me” the words repeated by a participant in their questionnaire over and over again in a mental repetitive chant, that speaks to them internally.
Brain formations created by couching long lengths of continuous yarn to represent familiar motifs. Cage made from corset boning to symbolise the cocoon. Corset-like lacing pulls in around the neck to be restrictive of comfortable movement and weights pull down on the shoulders.
2018.
Wool felt, eyelets, cord, polyester threads, cotton yarn, fishing weights, shoulder pads, press studs, plastic corset boning. With thanks to and in collaboration with:
Photographer: Laura Ruxton @aurora_luxx Model: Amy Textile art: Louisa Hammond
Spent most of last Monday adding and working on this wearable sculpture to lengthen and fill out certain areas. This piece will be going to a shoot next week where I’ll be collaborating with others to transform the piece when worn on the human form. With help from other contacts sourced from Instagram I am looking forward to working with them and the possible new viewpoints on this.
The sculpture tackles feelings emerged from experiencing mental illness and how there are layers of emotion that can bubble from below up to the surface. Other themes within the piece are ‘restriction’, 'weight’ and the colours are derived from responses from questionnaires I sent out last year which asked participants to visualise their illness in physical form.
This piece was made while thinking about creating forms over the body that convey the affects of mental illness on the mind and body that can’t be seen. The feelings of ‘constriction’, sense of ‘colours’ and 'forms’ inspired by the brain. Plus cage like shapes to signify the emotive cell we can retreat to but also get trapped in when we feel isolated.
Images and embroidered text are also inspired by the drawings and text by participants responses from a questionnaire conducted in 2017 by myself on the theme of participants discussing their own experiences of living with a mental illness.
Here I have visualised the feelings one of my questionnaire participants shared in their responses of my study on mental health conducted in 2017. I have also included some of my own thoughts and creativity to help make visual the affects of mental illness so that it can be seen from the perspective of the body.
This piece is about the multi layered emotions a participant has described through drawing and writing about their mental health and them visualising what isn’t seen physically.
This is my interpretation of those responses from a textile perspective and thinking about these in relation to the body and the weight of those pressures on a human form.
This sculpture should be worn and is made from hand felted stones trapped between layers of felt and organza. These weigh down on the body and add pressure to the head and chest. Manipulated and embellished organza signifies the lighter areas of emotion and added spikes add weight with thrusting, bursting feelings that emerge from within and outwards to the surface.
It’s a very heavy object which weighs down on the wearer and pulls in at the neck with a corset-like front. Giving the sensation of pressure on the body and restriction in these areas of neck and chest.
The weight of the stones and spikes refers to the feelings of low mood. Colour choice is taken from the participants own drawings.
The work all in all aims to de-stigmatise mental illness, raise awareness of mental health and show others who perhaps haven’t experienced it first hand what some of the invisible affects of having a mental illness has on the body and mind.
So it’s been a while since I wrote a blog post, but last week was Time To Talk Day~ a day that encourages opening up and talking to someone about your mental health! Most of you that know me know how important I believe this is and I wanted to do something to start the conversation ❤️ even though I think mental health conversation is more prominent in our every day lives, it doesn’t make it any easier to come out and talk about it ~ sometimes you won’t want to or sometimes you won’t even know what’s wrong. So this is my experience with talking about mental health, and I want you to know if you ever ever ever need anyone to listen to you, I’m here to listen ❤️
I’m sorry, but I need to let this out. I just really don’t understand how some people think you’re lying when you tell them about how traumatized you are about your past just because you seem “okay”.Can’t some of you understand that people like me need to pretend to be okay and build walls up so that we won’t get judged by those like you?
It makes me so angry that people think that children cannot be mentally ill … they’re little human beings with the same exact emotions as adults, they just have smaller bodies.
It isn’t that far fetched. His mom is amazing for being there for him.
Well if anything, they’re more prone to feel emotions like depression and anxiety even stronger than adults because they don’t know how to properly handle their emotions and their bodies ARE smaller. They’re hormonal and growing and it’s a fucking mess, so obviously things like depression would feel like the absolute end of the world to them, and they should be watched and listened to extremely closely when they’re young and showing signs of depression.
It could literally be life or death for a child whether or not a parent listens to them about their mental health.
I’m a person who believes there should always be the right to have freedom of expression, even if sometimes is not comfortable to others, because the fact it’s not nice, doesn’t mean, that expression is looking to offend those who don’t like it. It’s only the venting of an idea or the wish to share something with others.
Since last year, after I fortuitously got to know about Susan Klebold and her journey after the crime her younger son perpetrated and his subsequent suicide. I not only developed an interest in her and what she has to say about such crime, her son and her fight to create consciousness around mental health issues, but I also felt able to look at this person in a new light, i started to see him as a human being, which took me to want to reproduce some of the photos Susan has shared of him through the years, because I wanted to represent that human, that child she raised.
However, for the first time in 20 years of having been learning to draw and have become an arts mayor, I’ve found a huge percentage of rejection and hostility towards this reproductions, people rush to conclude that my only interest is to glorify and enhance him, giving him attributes he didn’t had, pretending he didn’t do anything wrong or even believing I support or condone such atrocities.
By no means and in no moment, I’m pretending to promote these kind of ideas, but I think is sad and frustrating that those who only wish to make images or illustrations about these topics or any other that turns out to be polemic, whether is for a certain interest or just for the exercise of making any artwork, don’t have the right to share those without being attacked and referred to as deranged and sick persons who only wish to promote the actions of these persons or who only want to disrespect or disregard it’s victims and pretend they were right for acting as they did or deserve more attention than those who lost their life at their hands.
Art is a mean of expression, a way to share what we feel, what we live, what we think, what we fear, about things that makes us hurt, things we want, things we enjoy and, tho, sometimes those messages can be uncomfortable or hurtful, it’s also a right and a necessity for it to exist and generate such disconfort, this, with the objective of create a debate, generate consciousness and analysis, promote the search for learning and a better understanding of the topic it represents or sometimes just share a visual composition.
In my case, I’m not trying to take away the responsibility and concecuences of the actions this young man perpetrated, nor I pretend to force others to see him differently as what they perceive of him, I just wish I didn’t feel like I have to hide what I’ve been drawing, I wish people could see that I’m only making visual pieces about a topic that got me thinking and has helped me widen my views about some of the biggest issues of our time which is our mental health.
My personal belief is that demonizing this people is as harmful as glorifying them, I feel we should try to see them as humans, even and specially, if it is inconvenient and uncomfortable, because anyone of us could be them, anyone of us could reach their point, if we, as them, don’t get the chance to be helped, anyone of us could be as hateful and ruthless, anyone of us could get as lost as they got and pretending they were plain evil, it’s not only naive, but potentially dangerous, the last 20 years and the continuous occurrence of these kind of tragedies is sadly, the best proof we haven’t learned enough of it, we haven’t payed enough attention.
But if your going to cut, please take care of yourself afterwords
Clean the wounds with warm water
Rinse dried blood from the area
Dry the wounds with paper towel, or a dry towel. Do not use a fluffy towel or tissues because fibers may get into the cut and cause scarring
If you have any, put Aquafor or a thinhealing ointment on the wound or area-like what you would put on a healing tattoo
If you can, wear shorts or a tank top to bed; let the wounds dry and breathe overnight.
While it’s important to take care of yourself physically, it’s also important to take care of yourself emotionally
If you were crying, please drink some water
If you are feeling emotionally drained or numb, try to overcome it. Journal. Shower. Talk to a friend. Try not to let the numbness consume you
If you’re angry, hit a pillow, scream at the top of your lungs, let it out
If you’re feeling suicidal, PLEASE tell somebody, call or text a hotline, or distract yourself. Do what you need to, but PLEASE don’t act on your intrusive thoughts or impulses. You matter.
Forgive yourself. Eventually you’ll heal- physically, emotionally, mentally. You can overcome this. You will recover.
I know it isn’t easy, but try to take care of yourself.
So much love for mentally ill people who “look mentally ill”. The ND people who wear oversized or dirty clothes, who have visible scars, with disorganized speech, who talk to themselves, who wear dirty clothes or don’t shower. You aren’t wrong for fitting a stereotype there’s nothing wrong with showing your symptoms and I wish you the best of luck in recovery
After being asked a couple times about useful apps for the brains, I decided to round up a handful to share! Especially look at My 3!
Note: All these apps are FREE bc f*ck capitalism, although a lot of them have paid versions with more content. They’re all available on iPhones bc that’s all I have to test on so I’m not sure how many are Android-capable I’m sorry!
Mood Tracking/Diary
Daylio
I use this one every day and I have for over 500 days (it counts). It lets me track my moods twice a day and pair it with different activities or conditions that I can customize. I can look back at the charts and see patterns in my moods, which has been really helpful.
Spot On
This one is really good for people whose moods fluctuate with their hormones. I use this one to track that so I know when to expect changes. It also lets you track activities. And it’s created by Planned Parenthood!
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
What’s Up
What’s Up has a lottttt of good info in it. It has basic tracking capabilities of positive and negative habits as well as a basic text diary you can keep. None of it is behind a paywall so you can access information on anxiety and depression as well as coping techniques for both. Don’t get confused like I did- you can swipe to access more pages. This app has a lot of reading tho, so be aware of your own preferences.
CBT Thought Diary
CBT Thought Diary is a good one for fighting negative thoughts. You can record a variety of moods, gratitude journal, and use CBT skills to contradict your neg thoughts. You can’t really do much more than that, but not all apps need to have all the bells and whistles.
Woebot
My sister uses this one. It’s got a cute little robot that talks to you daily to check in and teaches you CBT tools. It shows you cute little educational videos too. Your interaction can be as little as a check in, or you can seek guidance on specific issues you’re having. It requires a lil small talk but it’s good if you want a little more TLC than just reading a webpage.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
DBT Coach
A fair amount of DBT Coach is behind a paywall BUT I love the diary card function bc it looks good and it covers all the bases. It’s got mood, skills, activities, journal, urges, emotions, sleep, and a question about medication. You can even add photos to your journal! You have to explore the lessons and exercises to find those which are free but what’s there are p decent.
DBT Travel Guide
DBT Travel Guide has basically all the DBT info for free (bless!). It’s got a diary card, a tab for your therapy or other agreements, techniques specifically tailored to certain crises, information on skills, AND audio exercises! This is definitely the most comprehensive DBT app I’ve found.
Eating Disorder Recovery
Rise Up + Recover
Rise Up + Recover is an app for those with disordered eating created by the org Recovery Warriors. It’s an entirely free app that lets you log meals, work on body image, do other crisis and self-improvement exercises AND it lets you send that info to your therapist or whomever. It can link you to RW playlists, podcasts, and even help you find local treatment.
Recovery Record
RR is an app I used during my first bout in recovery years ago that I liked bc it gave me lil rewards for logging my meals- like these puzzle pieces. It’s grown a lot since then and includes symptom tracking & questionnaires, the ability to ‘like’ the cute or inspirational images they reward you with so you can revisit, meditations, and a heart rate monitor for apple watches. Like Rise Up, you can share it all with your treatment team.
Crisis Intervention
Calm Harm
There’s a great post going around with more info on Calm Harm but it’s a really cute and helpful app to use when you want to self-harm. It provides various activities in each category to do for either 5 or 15 minutes as you urge surf.
ShinyThing
ShinyThing is much the same but offers you YouTube videos instead. You can even add your own faves to distract you next time. It tracks your urge level before and after each session.
START
START stands for Stress Traumasymptoms Arousal Regulation Treatment. It focuses on activities you can do both during a crisis and in between to shore up your defenses.
My 3
My 3 is an app that is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. As you can see, it links to the Lifeline, 911, and three contacts you can choose that you’d be comfortable calling in crisis. It also lets you create a safety plan full of the components shown in the pic.
Other
Headspace
Headspace is a mindfulness app a former therapist recommended to me. Most of the activities are for the premium version BUT there are a few that aren’t and most of the sleep casts are free which is a nice sleep aid.
Gratitude
This is a gratitude journal you can write nice things in to look back at the Good. It’s pretty widely accepted that keeping a gratitude journal can improve your mood. This one also lets you create affirmations that can be scheduled to pop up and remind you how great you are.
I hope some of these apps sound useful to y’all! I’m certainly going to be keeping a lot of the ones I downloaded to try out. The next battle is getting myself to actually use them when I need them lol.
My therapist asked me to create something “motivating” so I made these.
lol.
I really love these, and I reblog them every single time. Some of you don’t realize how easy it’s to forget to do some of those stuff or how hard they can be some days.
