#onedayatatime
“There’s something constantly swirling inside my head—the persistent questions of attempting to fix what is broken. Dealing with everything at once uses an immense amount of energy, but leaves me empty, desperately wanting to change the deepest parts of myself to make all of the pieces fit.
Reminiscing on an old life, an old personality. The pain of loneliness cuts too deep, a reminder of growth from adolescence, but losing myself in the process. Sometimes it’s dangerous to miss my old self. Being content in my skin and having the ability to control the things around me. Now I want to tear away, shed my skin like a snake and become someone else.
The continuous scrutiny from my old life is a reminder of why relationships fell apart the way that they did—painful and unexpected. Expectations began to crumble with age, eyes that view the world in colors changed to only seeing black and white. People who were made to believe that they were irreplaceable said farewell. Ghosts from the past continue to linger.
And I read a book that dealt with grief and it was relatable, even when no one passed. When my entire life shifted on its axis, that’s when I knew the words were relevant. The words that are repeated like a mantra: one day at a time. Even after I endure emotional blows, I’ll take it one day at a time. And until I feel the sadness slip away, I’ll keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time.”
—S.V//One Day at a Time//@sempiternal.poet on Instagram
3.1.2020
♀️
Wasn’t at my best in February. Sleep won more times than I can count . But…I still lost a pound and a few inches of my waist and thighs. So, that’s a win.
I don’t know about anyone else but I’m ready for a “real” spring. I’m so over waking up and heading to the gym in 20-30 degree temps and then sweating in my car midday when the high is in the 60s. Daylight savings is around the corner yay! So is outdoor track season….and my kids are excited. My baby girl is old enough to run for the team so this summer is gonna be interesting.
My goal for March is to increase my water intake. I’ve only managed to make half my goal most days out of this month. So now I’m gonna step it up and try for 75%. We’ll see how this goes.
For the next couple of weeks, I foresee myself in the gym daily to work off this anxiety. We are waiting to hear if my oldest got accepted at a regional governors high school. And I’m a wreck.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible”.