Finally

I didn’t chase what was walking away from me

I resisted the urge to beg and plead

I felt the pain

And accepted rejection

Time and tears gave birth to my resurrection

The answer to every question

Came in the stillness of disassociation

I am more than enough

And do not need male validation

To prove I am worthy to exist in this world

As a woman

༄

Down

Down

Down she goes

Into that endless black hole

No ladder

No hand of a friend

Nothing can make the darkness end

༄

Love has softened me and molded me like clay

I have hit rock bottom so many times

But now when I fall

I don’t break

༄

I’ve lived too little

To long for death

༄

Dreams of you

Circle around

Lifting my mind

High above ground

I’ll take another pill

Just let me sleep

I can’t love you here

Only in my dreams

༄

The way I found God

Is the same way I lost him

On my knees

Head down

Ready to bleed

Crying so hard

And grinding my teeth

Desperate to taste

The mercy and relief

That they promise you will have

If you only believe

༄

Her face split open from his fists

Her heart split open from his cruelty

Her mind split open from the inability to understand it all

༄

He is my culture

The language that I speak

The flavor I taste on my tongue

His love drips like honey

And I am the bee

Love is our song

We both sing the melody

He is dressed in my shadow

I am veiled in his light

He is my culture

My country

My life

༄

Obsidian heart

His sins have teeth

Sharp sleek blades that sink in deep

Death must be earned

Lust is lethal

No amount of good can change his evil

༄

The petals of the stars are in full bloom tonight

Pillow thoughts full of teeth hoping for a bite

Laying in the emptiness of navy light

His skin looks like gold next to mine

The words come out of my mouth as a sigh

I wish there was more than just sadness in my eyes

༄

Staring out the window

Dust floating in sunbeams

Its then that I realize

There is not one single impossibility

The air holds the dirt so delicately

It is so free inside the light

Maybe If I keep floating

I can make it through this life

༄

When you were gone

My eyes were dry

But my heart would weep

Being apart was a violent grief

༄

I was searching

For the perfect one

But his imperfections

Were what made me fall in love

༄

In the end

We had very little love left

Not even a whisper

༄

I guess there is absolutely nothing more to say

Except, I wish we had more time together

I wish we had all of time

༄

mywordswillneverbeenough:

All Of The Color Blue

You are made up of star dust

And all of the color blue

You bring me to a place I’ve never been before

Like the sparkle in your eyes

and the yellow in your hair

You light the way in the dark

Your voice quenches my thirst

and plants a garden down my throat

I have craved your touch for a thousand years

but now I can feel the spark ignite between our skin

I have never kissed sweeter lips than yours

they taste like honeysuckle and promises

just the way your words taste

they warm my insides

including my bones

Your hands wrap around my body like it’s always the first time

but never a stranger

Your tongue baptized me the first time I ever felt you on my skin

I have never been home before

until now

Nicotine

You are my second father,

A father who I could relate with

A father who shared the same weakness

The one that I share my despondency with.

You are my second father,

The one who enlightens.

A father who I used to watch

Whenever he lights up a cigarette.

You are my second father,

The one that I used to be closed with.

The one that taught me ways to cope

The one that taught me not to smoke.

But now that I’m older,

You had started building walls.

Our conversations had reached to its end,

As you started flaming your nicotine.

I don’t have much to say now

But just like you, you know that I’m here too.

You might not be able to hear me right now

But please don’t leave me too.

Requiem

I feel like coming home

Like a faceless facade.

I can make it seem like everything’s okay,

Like a kindergarten, smiling in extreme optimism.

I guess I’m starting to learn the ways of one’s camouflage,

Like a wolf inside a sheep’s garment.

Maybe it’s time to lay down;

To let them mourn in my wicked requiem.

But it still left me wondering.

Will they still love me after this?

Will they remember?

- DaisyInNeptune, 2021

My dear, my love━ I was never romantic;

Nor was I the person that’ll give you roses.

The first phrase might sound a bit dramatic;

But dear, thou art the reason my heart never close;

My love for you has nothing to compare with the words I wrote,

For you are aware that all of this were ne'er fiction.

Your words are the ones I quote;

Thou art the love of my life, wherever my life was position.

My dear, my love ━I guess I was romantic;

No matter the distance, the world is for us to conquer.

For you to be on arms would be ecstatic;

And to have and love you was the greatest honor.

There’s was never a day that I stopped thinking about thee,

And my love for you is the world to see.

I was hurting…

I was hurting, when you told me to snap out of it.

I was hurting, when you told me to fix myself.

I was hurting, when you told me that I’m selfish.

I was hurting, when you told me that I’m being dramatic

I was hurting, when you told me that it happens to everyone. As if mine is something that Shouldn’t matter.

I was hurting, when you refuse to listen

I was hurting, when you told me you’ll hurt me

I was hurting, when you told me that you didn’t care anymore

I was hurting , when you told me to stop crying

I was hurting, until you decide to listen to me. But then I lost my words when you told me that it was all my fault

As if I wanted it…

-@daisyinneptune2021