YoungLuther: Do you even exercise

Young Klaus: I’m a runner

Young Luther:Really?

Young Klaus: Yeah, I run late, run from my problems, and run my mouth *finger guns*

Klaus: What’re you doing Five

Five: *writing in a journal* Making a hit list of everybody taller than me

Klaus: Cool! Am I on it

Five: Dont worry you’re sixth on it

Klaus:His name was Dave

Diego:

Interviewer: Would you say that’s you’re independent?

Luther: *looks at Reginald*

Reginald:*nods*

Luther: Yes, I’d say so

Things: *get tough*

Luther:

Me when Five turned back time after Klaus finally saw Dave again:

Anybody: Where do you see yourself in 10 years

Five:*flashbacks to the apocalypse*

Klaus: Look Ben, it’s a graveyard next to a lake.

Ben: Oh my god this is prime real estate

A kid on the street: Hey look at that man, he’s got a giant gorilla body

Luther:

Klaus: *trips and accidentally throws his bowl of fruit loops in the air so it lands on Five’s head*

Five:

Klaus: I’ve only had Dave for a day and a half but if anything happened to him, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.

~10 months later~

Dave:*dies*

Klaus basically the next day: Wow, God? Fancy seeing you here

Hazel talking to his therapist: You think killing people might make them like you, but it doesn’t. It just makes people dead.

The therapist:

Allison after she sees Klaus’ rehab bracelet:

Klaus: *comes downstairs at 8 am in a black skirt with rainbow suspenders, a HUMAN crop top, and giant rainbow heels*

Five: Wow Klaus. You look more gay before 9:00 am than most people do all day.

Klaus: Can you make a sentence without using the letter ‘A’?

Five: You thought you just did something, didn’t you? Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon

27-umbrellas:

Okay I love five and I love his character design but you know what would really accelerate him? LIGHT UP SKETCHERS.

he stamps his foot and launches 20 years into the past on his sick ass wheels