#anxiety
Second thoughts always come too late.
They wrap around your gut like a tumour, stealing space and squeezing, until you try to pull away, back out and retreat. Fear wears you like a glove, works your mouth and makes you plead. Anxiety becomes you. But it’s too late for second thoughts. It was always too late, the instant you had the first.
It’s your uncertainty that drives it, the fact that you're unsure about all of this. It’s uncharted territory, and you’re missing dry land, but we’re not here because we wanted to be safe. We’re here because you want to be here, just as much as you don’t. Your first thought was the right one, and any you have thereafter are just your body scared of what you might do to it. What I might do to it.
We’re going to explore, you and I. We’re going to write some maps, and define some new territory. I’m going to flood your mind with thoughts, good ones, bad ones, desperate ones, and the kind that you wouldn’t even tell me if I asked you especially nicely. So let’s not worry about your anxiety. Forget about your uncertainty.
Embrace the unknown, and come over here.
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Second thoughts always come too late.
They wrap around your gut like a tumour, stealing space and squeezing, until you try to pull away, back out and retreat. Fear wears you like a glove, works your mouth and makes you plead. Anxiety becomes you. But it’s too late for second thoughts. It was always too late, the instant you had the first.
It’s your uncertainty that drives it, the fact that you're unsure about all of this. It’s uncharted territory, and you’re missing dry land, but we’re not here because we wanted to be safe. We’re here because you want to be here, just as much as you don’t. Your first thought was the right one, and any you have thereafter are just your body scared of what you might do to it. What I might do to it.
We’re going to explore, you and I. We’re going to write some maps, and define some new territory. I’m going to flood your mind with thoughts, good ones, bad ones, desperate ones, and the kind that you wouldn’t even tell me if I asked you especially nicely. So let’s not worry about your anxiety. Forget about your uncertainty.
Embrace the unknown, and come over here.
Post link
Stop shaming your friends for not texting you! There are a lot of valid reasons people don’t text you back or text you first. You’re not entitled to their presence or time.
Ok, i just saw a person being upset on the internet about their friendship being one sided because they stopped texting their friend to see if they would text them first and yeah, they wouldn’t.
A friend of mine once hated me (/li) because i did the same when he stopped texting me first. I never texted him first because i had severe anxiety which convinced me that he hated me and didn’t wanna talk to me, so unless he texted me first i couldn’t make sure he wanted to talk to me.
And when Taylor Swift said
“You were all I wanted,
But not like this.
Not like this.
Not like this.”
Do you ever hold your breath while you’re sobbing so no one hears your cries?
I just want one happy day. One day without remembering why I am in so much pain. Just one day without this heartache.
Why am I here if no one even asks me to stay?
A Bright Anxiety - Vector Art
Inspired by Cultist Simulator
Every day now, my fear grows stronger. An urgent, physical need, like a gnawing hunger.
It’s a Light that is found in the eyes, but it is very subtle. Most can only see it in the darkness.
I grow thinner, as the Light shines brighter. I feel like my skin hangs loose in my body. I am always hungry.
I feel my bones begin to soften. The Light leaks out whenever my skin is bruised or frayed.
In the end, little of this flesh will remain. I will pass through Gates. The anxiety is too much for the soul to hold. I must be more than this. More than myself. More than this Light.
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Cr: YouTube - „if we love | short film“
My world is falling apart.
While I look into the night sky I wished
I could be a star.
Perfect and admired by far.
Be gone, but seen distant.
Kept in memory
But no longer existent.
Just shining
And brightening up
The sky at night.
I am afraid I have no purpose here.
I tried.
I tried being alive.
I tried to be happy.
I tried to Enjoy.
I really tried.
But apparently it’s not working out cause I feel absolutely nothing.
I have never felt more alone and disconnected from people.
I don’t even seem to be good enough for people to care when they lose me.
No one is ever sad for losing me and that shit hurts.
Im not someone who thinks a lot about suicide but the picture keeps crossing my mind tho.
It’s been really bad lately and my urge to self harm is increasing with every day that I lay in bed and can’t sleep. I don’t know how long I will be able to take this anymore. My anxiety is high , my depression is dark, my mental health zero. It’s getting bad. Like fucking bad.
I don’t want to be in that dark narrow place again. I know what it is like to be there. I don’t like it. But the road is never ending and the finish line seems to be there. It’s really hard to be holding on to that little light that is left but slowly is vanishing.
I’m tired, exhausted, Empty, numb and in pain. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way, but still it’s hard feeling this way not knowing what to do to feel better , I mean at least being able to not feel guilty about everything and nothing. I would get help , but at the moment there is no way I’m getting the help I need.
Right now i just want to be sure I’ll wake up tomorrow morning. Or not. I don’t even know.
That’s the point. I’m confused if I want to live or not. I don’t wanna die. But living is painful. So what do I want. I don’t know if I have the strength to keep going and constantly feel like I’m suffocating and drowning trying to scream but instead my lungs fill up with water and I’m no longer able to breath.
But i don’t know if I have the strength to let go once and for all, leaving my mom and my loved ones behind either. It’s difficult because I want to keep going but the is just no more energy left for doing so.
I’m carrying a bag of stones. Stones I carry with me all day long and when I’m at home I finally break down because I can’t take that weight.
When I lay in bed the only thing I feel is a weight on my chest that makes me breath heavily and panic.
Im alone. I can’t talk to anyone. The first question I get is „why“. Oh god if I knew why. That’s a question I ask myself a lot. „Why me?“ „why now?“ „why again?“ „why is this happening?“. I have no answer to that question. It makes me anxious getting that question and not having an explanation. How can I reach out for help if I do not have any reason to feel the way I do.
I don’t understand. And so don’t the others.
They don’t understand my struggle. I have a home, family, friends, food,.. more than a lot of people on this planet have and yet I feel lost, lonely and empty. Somebody that did not feel those things and this darkness can not understand how it feels. They can not understand how tiring living is.
They can not understand how difficult it is to put on a mask everyday so nobody asks you “what’s wrong?” And so you don’t have to answer with “I don’t know.” That’s the point. Again. I don’t know what’s wrong. Too much is wrong with me. And then they go like “no seriously, there must be something that causes this”. And that’s upsetting. Because I would want to know what’s wrong.
It’s exhausting and tiring.
I don’t want to bother anyone or be a burden because that’s how I feel. That’s what I am for me.
I want to go out. I want to have fun. I want to live. I want to be able to be at peace with my mind and myself. It’s just not that easy.
