#empty thoughts
Cr: YouTube - „if we love | short film“
No matter how much love I give out, my heart never received the same amount back.
So I’m left here lacking more and more love. Not just for others but mainly for my self.
07/03/2020
How do i explain it
How can i explain the feeling of being numb, the feeling of being dead when I’m alive, the feeling of believing I have no one by my side when in fact I do, the feeling of being unwanted and unloved when there are people that do love and want me.
How do I tell my loved ones, the people that should be the closest to me that I’m not feeling alright. That I feel lonely. Exhausted. Tired.
How do I tell them that I can’t talk to them because I feel like they don’t want to know. Like they don’t care.
What do I tell them when they ask me what exactly is wrong when I can’t even figure it myself.
I keep it to myself. It’s easier to fight against it alone than having to explain something I don’t understand. I don’t want to bother them or be a burden. So it’s just the best if I keep them out of my personal struggles. Out of my personal miserie.
I’m sorry.
Sometimes
I think about all that I’ve done
And gone through
That no one even knows about
And I get sad thinking that
No one will ever know
About all these things that make me, me,
But then I think
Maybe it’s best that these things
Die with me.
Maybe that’s not such
A bad thing
-A.M.
Im so lost and i don’t know what to do about it…
A person only changes when and if they want too. Its just empty promises.
-RB
“Do you know how it feels, to finally have your prayers heard for a love you craved, only to be left feeling empty?”
Heaven only knows when I’m in hell.
I’ve always been on my own, so if you leave that’s some regular shit.
I overthinking, overlove, overfeel and overstress.
You don’t miss the person, you miss the feeling.
We pretend that we don’t care, but we care.
I get jealous because I know how replaceable I am, I’m nothing special.
You are alone.
It broke my heart but opened my eyes.
As a kid I built a house around my broke heart.
Voices in my head, telling me I’m gonna end up dead.
Never lonely I’m just lowkey.
I guess I’m stressed, I got too much weight up on my chest
I push away the people that I love the most why? I don’t want no one to know I’m vulnerable.
This music’s the only thing keepin’ the peace when I’m fallin’ to pieces.
I used to shine, now I’m all in the dark.
Last year, I felt suicidal. This year, I might do somethin’ different like talkin’ to God more.
If I Jump, living trough these songs. So you know just where to find me
And I ain’t seen a light of day since, well, that’s not important
It’s been long
Told myself it’d get better, no clue what there was next for me.
Don’t cry, it won’t end. Pain will always be my friend.
