#ben hargreeves

Happy birthday Cameron!!

Vanya to literally anybody: *whispering* yeah uh, today’s my birthd—

Luther, crashing through the ceiling: TODAY’S MY BIRTHDAY BITCHES

klaus comforting you headcanon

• Really long hugs
• Really tight hugs too, almost like he’s trying to fit all your broken pieces back into place
• Him being silent for a while trying to choose what to say
• Klaus having to ask Ben what to say since he’s better with this kinda stuff
• “It’s okay, everything is gonna be okay” though neither of you are sure whether he’s trying to convince you or himself
• Him letting you cry into his favourite shirt without any hesitation, but if anyone else were to touch it without so much as washing their hands he would scream
• He pats your head a lot, but in a way it’s really reassuring
• He also ends up playing with your hair which you think is therapeutic
• He starts freaking out when you begin hyperventilating
• Him refusing to leave your side even though you say that it’s okay
• You two just talking for a long time
• You can tell how hard he’s trying to be serious and tell him it’s okay
• He ends up telling jokes trying to make you feel better — some are badly timed but you appreciate it anyways
• Cue Ben, facepalming in the afterlife
• Once you finish crying he’s still tentative to leave you alone
• Mama Klaus takes over
• You’re not hungry but he forces you to eat
• Ben stares into the camera like he’s on the office as Klaus tries to force feed you toast
• He tries the make the rest of your day as calm as possible
• He makes everyone go real easy on you
• “LUTHER YOU SON OF A BITCH” “ALL I ASKED WAS IF THEY COULD PASS THE SALT???¿¿¿”
• Asks every two minutes if you’re okay and if you need anything
• If he’s not checking on you he’s forcing Diego to
• He tries to bake you cupcakes but they end up lopsided and a little overbaked
• You enjoy them anyway
• “If anybody ever hurts you lemme know and I’ll kick their ass” “Klaus you cried when you saw a ladybug on your knee”
• He insists that you two have a movie marathon
• He keeps trying to get you to throw popcorn into his mouth but he always misses it
• “One more time, I’ve got it this” “we both know that you don’t”
• You end up doing a lot more laughing than crying over the course of the day
• “Hey … thanks for helping me today, Klaus” “no problem boblem” “I hate you”

*Five, clearly annoyed with Klaus*

Klaus: What? Why are you upset?

Klaus, softly: Is it because my shoes light up and yours don’t?

Ben: Hey … if olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made of?

Vanya: Oh, baby oil? It’s just—

Klaus: B a b y m i l k

Vanya:…

Vanya:Klaus—

Klaus: ᴹᵘˢᵗ ᵐⁱˡᵏ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᵇⁱᵉˢ

dave and klaus when things get spicy ;)

Klaus: Well, allow me to slip into something a little more … comfortable

Dave: Ooouuuu ;)

Klaus, sliding into a trash can: I’m a failure

klaus: i am covered in blood for sexy reasons

klaus: also, i just got stabbed

allison, holding up an unlabeled bottle: is this whiskey or perfume?

klaus: lemme see

klaus: *takes the bottle and chugs it*

klaus: it’s perfume

allison: i know we don’t get along, but i got you this bath bomb as a peace offering. whenever you feel stressed, just run yourself a bath and throw this in. i promise, all your worries will be gone in seconds

leonard, opening the package: this is a toaster

luther:how would you rate your pain?

klaus:0/10.

luther:how- your arm is literally going the wrong way-

klaus:as in 0/10 would not recommend

luther:

klaus:very not gucci, does not slap, no thanks

allison: you’re like school in july

leonard:

allison: no class

diego: patch talks in her sleep sometimes. it’s adorable

patch, sleeping: fight me… you motherfucker… square up… i think the fuck not

diego: your existence is confusing

klaus:how?

diego: your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me

klaus: things i want- snuggles

also klaus: things i receive- struggles

allison: i don’t dress to impress. i dress to depress. i want to look so good people hate themselves.

klaus, quietly: spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine

five:

klaus, steadily building volume: shrieking skulls will shock your soul, seal your doom tonight

five:

klaus, screaming at the top of his lungs: SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SPEAK WITH SUCH A SCREECH YOU’LL SHAKE AND SHUDDER IN SURPRISE WHEN YOU HEAR THESE ZOMBIES SHRI-

five: SHUT THE FUCK UP

ben: is there a word that a mix between sad and mad?

five: malcontented, disgruntled, miserable-

klaus:SMAD

*debating*

luther: *finishes argument*

reginald: your turn, number two.

diego: yeah, so everything he just said is bullshit

grace: when you answer the phone, what do you say

diego: what up?

klaus: who dis be?

five: no, he’s dead. this is his son.

allison: i think luther is in trouble.

diego: alright. struggling to give a fuck, if i’m being honest.