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Regulus: Mary, come here. I want to show you something in the bathroom
Mary: Oh, Reg, grow up!
Sirius: Hey, what’s behind your back?
Regulus: Nothing. Just something I want to get Mary’s opinion on for Valentine’s Day
Sirius: You don’t want my opinion?
Regulus: Not really
Sirius: Come on, I’m your older brother, ask me!
Regulus: All right, big brother *holds up two lingeries* Which of these do you think would make your little brother look hotter, so your best friend would want to do him?
Sirius:…
Sirius *mumbles*: The red one
Harry: You’re a dick, Malfoy!
Draco: Oh yeah? Well, I am what I eat!
Harry:What?
Draco:…What?
Harry:…
Harry: Wanna eat mine?
Pansy: What’s the worst thing your father did?
Draco: When I came out, he made me take extra duelling class. But it backfired, now I can take an opponent down while sucking a d—
Pansy: I get it!
Ginny: What’s the one thing you always wonder?
Luna: Since I’m short, will tall people lick my head?
Ginny:What?
Draco: Oh my god, Ron, you’re saying it wrong
Ron: What? What did I say?
Draco: You said you love…
Ron: Yeah! I love creampies!
Draco: No! It’s cream puffs! Cream puffs! Not creampie
Ron: Well what does creampie means?
Blaise: I can show you what it mean—
Draco: DO NOT EVEN!
Writer’s problem:
Pansy: You ever laugh so hard you grab your boobs?
Hermione: No, and it also doesn’t explain why your hands are on mine
James: Looks like I caught a fallen angel
Regulus: I literally just fell down the stairs
James: But I did catch you, right?
Regulus: It’s because I was trying to avoid stepping on the bunch of roses you put there
James: …is that a yes?
Draco: If Potter is not going to pin me down and kiss me like he means it, what is he even doing?
Pansy: Not having to listen to this, which is a blessing for him
Pansy: Do you think you can tell Harry to stand up? He’s in my spot
Draco: Oh, okay, no biggie
Draco: *sits on Harry’s lap*
Pansy: …now you’re both in my seat
Draco: Yeah, but Harry’s standing up now
Pansy: He’s no—oh
If kid!Draco meets future!Draco:
Underwater Love - Drarry
Summary: When Harry learns that he must save Malfoy in the Second Task of the Triwizard Tournament, his future is completely altered. From there, things quickly get out of hand, in ways he never imagined.
Word count:26826
Tags:Hogwarts Fourth Year; Triwizard Tournament; Second Task of the Triwizard Tournament (Harry Potter); Fix-It; Secret Relationship; Developing Relationship; Professor Harry Potter; Professor Draco Malfoy; Explicit Sexual Content; Duelling; Draco Malfoy Has Long Hair; Praise Kink; Body Worship
READ HERE ON AO3
Sirius: James, what are you doing?
James: Oh, in bed, nothing much
Sirius: Have you seen my brother?
James: No. Regulus? No, haven’t seen him. In fact, I have never seen him. Hell, I don’t even know what he looks like
Sirius: What’s that under your blanket? Is it breathing?
James: Oh…uh, Lily
Sirius: Lily’s at the library, I just saw her, and you two aren’t together
James: It’s…a Crup, a sleeping Crup, just found him, he’s sleeping, you shouldn’t bother him
Sirius *laughs*: Oh, okay, for a moment there I thought you were sleeping with my brother and that’s Regulus under your blanket
James:…
Sirius: It’s funny because if that was real, I’d chase you down and beat you up, Prongs
James: Haha…that’s crazy
Sirius *laughs*: I know, right? *sneezes*
Regulus, under the blanket: Bless you
Sirius:…
James: …I can explain—
Lucius: How was your graduation at Hogwarts?
Draco: It’s nice
Narcissa: I’m glad, what did you bring home?
Draco: My clothes, lots of books, quills, my boyfriend Harry, some pictures
Lucius: Excuse me?
Draco:What?
Lucius: Do you bring your brooms back too?
Draco: Oh yeah
Lucius: Okay good
Draco:…
Lucius: Wait a minute—
Narcissa: *sighs*
*The Triwizard Tournament*
Pansy: Oh, I can’t believe Cedric survived the Second Task!
Draco: Cedric survived?
Pansy:…you were looking at Potter the whole time, weren’t you?
Draco:No
Pansy:Draco
Draco:Yeah…
Harry: *takes off shirt*
Draco *looks up at the sky*: Nice job
Harry Potter couples in a haunted house
Drarry (Harry & Draco): Harry enjoys it tremendously, especially when he drags a scared and screaming Draco in a haunted house. Harry’s used to haunted house already (since he’s a Halfblood), but Draco’s so not used to it. He’s screaming, clutching on Harry’s shirt with his eyes closed while Harry protects him through the whole thing. And Draco will be looking all dishevelled and sweaty once they got out of the haunted house, Harry is pretty proud of it and Draco will never admit he cried.
Blairon (Blaise x Ron): Blaise is basically not scared of anything, Ron is half scared and half wanting to be brave, he offers to protect Blaise while shaking. Ron will definitely jump and scream when spiders appear in the haunted house. And if there are, Blaise will have to carry Ron in his arms like a bride out of there because there’s no way Ron’s walking in there anymore.
Theville (Neville x Theodore): Neville is scared but he can handle a haunted house, he tries to protect Theo but Theo isn’t scared at all, he’s so excited to go and the scary people in costumes in the haunted house might even try to flirt with him.
Pansmione (Pansy x Hermione): Hermione isn’t afraid of haunted house at all, she is still startled when they jump at her but nothing more, might even laugh the whole way there. Pansy will scream and curse a lot when someone jumps at her to scare her, she has never cursed so much her whole life.
Linny (Ginny x Luna): Luna, being the sweet Ravenclaw she is, would try to talk to everyone and ask them meaningful questions while they’re trying to scare her. For Ginny, she isn’t scared, she’d try to protect Luna the whole way, might even punch someone for jumping out to scare them.
Jegulus (James x Regulus): James is surprisingly jumpy when it comes to haunted houses. He starts as the one protecting Regulus but throughout the trip, Regulus is the one dragging him out of there because he isn’t afraid of it at all.
Wolfstar (Remus x Sirius): Remus would curse a lot, and trying to lead Sirius to the right way because Sirius keeps jumping, screaming and wanting to go back out.
Lucissa (Lucius x Narcissa): Lucius is straight up crying and Narcissa has to drag him out because she’s a badass lady.
Pansy: What are you for Halloween?
Draco:Straight
Ron: *screams*
Eleven Hours - Drarry, Blairon, Theville
Summary: Eleven hours from London to Las Vegas, Harry is convinced his feelings for Malfoy are pure only, Blaise struggles to find out why Ron is mad at him, and Neville deals with his massive crush for Theodore.
Featuring Drarry, Blairon, Theville in one fic.
Word count: 19985
Tags:Post-Hogwarts, Multiple Couples, POV Multiple, Airplane Sex, Mile High Club, Quickies, Lingerie, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Ron Weasley, Auror Neville Longbottom, Healer Draco Malfoy, Explicit Sexual Content, Praise Kink, Light BDSM, Hair-pulling, Draco Malfoy Has Long Hair
READ HERE ON AO3
Draco: I’m going to show you my favourite place when I was in Hogwarts
Ron: The closet?
Draco:…
Ron: Because you were in the closet until you started dating Harry—
Draco: I know, Ron! It’s not the closet!