#existential thoughts
La creencia de la existencia me está matando
Well shit, it’s fully confirmed that the Anne we see is a clone. The duplicate Anne has her shoe on the wrong foot. It was NOT a continuity error.
I am now a little sad… RIP original Anne. You will be missed. Still, let’s give a warm welcome to Anne 2.0!
Any sized bag of chips is “snack sized” if you believe in yourself.
I’ve been trying the positive attitude philosophy, “live every day like it’s your last”, but it’s more like every second day cos I’m just too hungover on the other alternate days to keep that level of positivity going…
I would rather die of passion than of boredom.
- Vincent Van Gogh
The only thing we have to take seriously is seriousness itself.
Well I’m working on it
Holy shit I didn’t know I had so many problems
Holy shit this isn’t it
No one told me I was just an onion
I’m just a kid, or so I thought
Please doc, make it stop, let me go home
I’ll keep working on it
But will I be gone if I peel this old onion
-‘Onion’,Shannon & The Clams
“ The “INFP Blues”
[INFP]
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493dreamer
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Joined Feb 5, 2011
96 Posts
Discussion Starter • #1 • May 17, 2011
It seems many INFPs have depression, or at least existential depression (what is this world and where do I belong?).
For me it seems to come from an identity crisis. I don’t know who I am, and I am afraid when I find out I won’t like me. The more I integrate myself, work on my “shadow”, and accept myself as I am - the better my depression has become and the more I overcome.
I also see it as this. INFPs, being the original optimists, get beaten down by life. They see that most people don’t share their philosophy, and that will never change (or at least not in this lifetime). Indeed the world can be cruel and I really believe that crushed me at some point. And then we become cynical, but under that the original optimist calls out, and this causes confusion, depression, anger, etc.
Any thoughts? Do you have the INFP blues? What has helped, if anything, and what do you think the challenge is of overcoming it?
I also think changing my perspective has helped. One of those things is learning that you don’t find yourself - you create yourself”
https://www.personalitycafe.com/threads/the-infp-blues.55092/
“stagnant”
“nothing lasts forever” [edit]
“leech”
“lonely together”
“nothing”
Just because something or someone is taken for granted, that doesn’t mean they aren’t extremely valuable and necessary.
People’s placement of value often has nothing to do with reality itself. Look how much we value gold over forests.
Some HopePunk thoughts
I heard on a podcast somewhere about hopepunk that it has this idea that a “happy ending” isn’t reachable. I was just going to post my own thoughts on that topic before I heard this, but I wanted to add onto it.
On an individual level, sometimes I don’t believe a happy ending is reachable in my own lifetime.
What do I mean by this?
Hopepunk is an ideology of persistent improvement in bleak odds. Making hope where there is none. But that doesn’t mean that there is always a good outcome immediately, or that all hope is lost if we don’t see the good outcome yet.
Let me put this into a very personal perspective.
I, like many people, was raised with this grandiose idea that life was going to be one big adventure, that I’d have a ton of friends, a job I’d love, and that I’d live happily ever after.
Some ok things happened in my childhood, but then…some bad things did.
I lost a lot of my friends when my family moved across the country. I never gained them back.
I had and have a lot of mental health issues, and I discovered that the new subculture I was in didn’t fit me. I was alone. I grew up that way.
There goes the dream of friends.
Through the course of natural events and disasters, my brother moved away. Most newer friends forgot me. I had a couple of jobs that didn’t turn out well, and faced emotional and verbal abuse at home and at work.
And with the economic situation I was in, I didn’t have time for many enjoyable things. Picking a career was difficult, and finding a job after college was also difficult, and it involved doing a lot of really hard things for me.
Here I am, almost broke, with a job really far away, in a post-pandemic world where sometimes food or building supplies doesn’t get shipped to where I live. Shops close down, things I love disappear.
I had to deal with a lot alone. And, I probably still will. I’ll probably be working to the bone, living by myself, and most likely die alone.
But through all of that, I did have some help. I had the posts and books and podcasts left to me on mental health and how to survive in a grown-up world.
There will be no happy ending for me, but someday, if I keep writing down my experiences, re-blogging tips, maybe I can make some other people not feel so alone.
Maybe there will be a little kid who moved who now knows how to communicate with others.
Maybe there will be someone struggling with depression and anxiety who learns self-love, and grows to be healthier and happier, and wakes up every day to messages and people who love them back.
Maybe someone will plant a nice garden, make a peaceful home, raise happier kids than they were themselves.
There will be no happy ending for me.
But that doesn’t mean there won’t be for someone else just like me.
I think that’s something to live a little longer for. Even if it is hard to remember that sometimes.
