Sometimes I just want to rip my leg off

I was clean

I relapsed……. I took a blade to my skin and cut it open… I’m a failure….. it would be better if I was dead.

Why

Why is it that when hes here he makes me so happy but so sad at the same time. But when hes gone I almost kill myself.

I’ve stopped eating. And no one has even noticed….

Jonathan

I want to message him but I’m not sure if I should. I want to talk to him but I’m not sure if he wants too. The last thing I said to him was that he’d never hear about from me. Or about me every again. I was upset. I was mad at what he did. I didn’t mean it. I still dont. I wish I never meet him. I wish he was never in my life. I want to die. And hes the reason why. Yet hes the reason I’m here. I dont know what to do.

Why does everyone leave? Why does no one want to stay? Im here crying alone and i have no one. Everyone left. And sometimes I see if people would care if i leave, and all they say is bye. What if that one time I said I was going i killed myself. What would they do then. Maybe people would like me more if i was dead. I just wish i was dead. I can’t do this shit anymore.

I took so many pills.

I’m tired. I think im going to go to sleep. Goodbye

Fuck you…

I hate to say

But i regret you

I regret giving you something

That was so important to me

But you just took it in a second

And act like it’s nothing

But to me it’s everything..

current mood

taking drugs to make me sleep after taking drugs to make me awake

health: …

i want to crawl back into the dirt from which i was made. im tired and alone. back to the earth is where i belong. there are no warm arms and a chest for me to lay upon with content and happiness. i am full of words and song, but im surrounded by no one. i could set up a mirror and have more engaging conversations with the girl who stares back.

how do I express how low and down I’m feeling without then feeling like I’m coming off as an attention seeking fake person? Plus the support I’d *maybe* get on the post would only make me feel worse in the long run, cuz otherwise all those people would never have talked to me.

I only seem to exist when I’m feeling depressed and suicidal. otherwise I’m not worth the time.

von Selbstzweifeln paralysiert

We’re all in the same game, just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils.

I’M GOING TO CRY