if a girl tried to sacrifice me to the old gods that would be totally fine and I would submit but if a guy did that I would fight back a little
unless he was really hot I guess (the god or the guy)
in which case it is appropriate to fight back for homoerotic reasons
Not me, I’m a pacifist. I just make sad pathetic little noises while he strikes me and look up at him with my honest big brown eyes. He knows he killed a good man and it punishes him more than any physical harm I could do to him.
ohhhh if you hit him with that hard enough he’ll never land the killing blow
I’m so patheticcore. I’m such a poor little meow meow.
any decent man would take u in and nurse u back to health under the patronage of the old gods he once foolishly believed he could bring himself to sacrifice u to
(he doesn’t know I am loved by all of the gods and by showing me clemency he saved himself from all manner of ills and perils)
Oh yeah, so mermaid Jaskier wants to pet a puppy :)
-Jaskier is giant. He’s never had anything to compare himself to apart from pirate ships, but they look the same way birds look in the sky— tiny.
-He’s a guardian of the Sea, first and foremost, so he never cares too much about drowning ships of captain’s that’ve wronged the Sea; either disrespecting her by mucking her waters with their scum, or stealing from her.
-The Sea gives, she is plentiful, but Jaskier’s warned to keep an eye out when her sons and daughters begin dying in excess and for no reason but greed and war.
-It earns himself a feared name, the Guardian of the Sea becomes capitalized and a slew of other nicknames, including Seamonster and Mommy’s Boy are born. Jaskier especially likes the last one, he is the Sea’s son after all, no shame in serving her.
-Unfortunately, that means that when the rare ship crosses his stretch of the Sea that hasn’tcommitted atrocities, the crew is reading to throw fire in his face (bombs and cannons) and steering away from him by the time he gets low enough to say hello.
-Humans a barely as long as his pinkie finger, they’re fast. Jaskier is tall as four, five of their ships are long and he is awfully slow in comparison.
-He’s basking under the Sky, floating in the Seawater when he feels something move above his skin. Jaskier looks from where he’s laid down, hair splashing water as he carefully moves to get a better view.
-There is a man. He is as large as Jaskier’s index finger, which is quite large for a human, but his boat is small and he is alone.
-Scratch that. Jaskier sits up, careful not to rock the boat too wildly as the man clutches the sides, a creature that barely comes up to the man’s knees saying something wildly. He thinks it’s talking, four legged fuzzy little thing, but not in any language he understands.
-It seems that the man understands, though, and Jaskier squints down to see his hand soothe the animal’s flank. The Sea is calm; this man is good and Jaskier shrugs his inhibition as he leans down. The man does not seem to be carrying any weaponry save for the silver dagger he wields, pointed at Jaskier.
-It’s laughable, but valiant. Though, Jaskier does not care much, spreading his lips in a wide grin as the man allows his to grow close enough to see the animal by his knees clearly. He’s careful to keep his tail from flicking wildly in excitement as the animal relaxes from its growl and hops in place.
- “Please,” Jaskier’s voice is well-used; he talks to his mother, the Sea, and to his siblings: the school of fish that lazily wander through his guarded waters, the giant squid that tickles between his tail-fins on well-weathered days, “Can I pet your animal?” The animal obviously recognizes this word, it’s tail wiggling wildly and its muzzle open as it pants in want despite its human glaring threatening at Jaskier.
- “Pretty please,” Jaskier asks, widening his eyes in the same manner he uses with Mother when he asks for a new species for his waters.
-There is a giant merman staring at Geralt, asking him if he can pet Roach. Geralt might be losing his mind, he’s sure it’s a hallucination but he keeps his sword drawn nonetheless.
-No sits on the tip of his tongue, but then the merman’s eyes widen, bluer than the bluest Sea. He’s a witcher, he’s stronger than a pair of puppy ey— but then he asks in that oh-so melodic, pleading voice of his to pet Roach. And really, Geralt can’t fault him, Roach is adorable.
-He sheathes his sword, ‘cause dammit, what’s a man supposed to do when faced with a being fifty times his height begging to pet his furry friend? Not to mention, the merman is extremely cute with his bottom lip jut and his body twitching as it contains possible tail flaps that Roach does not deign to.
- “Be very, very gentle,” he says, voice low and commanding. If the merman were to hurt Roach, he would—
- “It’s so soft,” Jaskier whimpers, his breath ruffling her fur. “Oh Salty Sea, it’s so soft.” The animal yips, rubbing its cheek against his fingertip as the man glares at them despite the speck of soft in his eyes.
- “Her name is Roach,” Geralt finds himself saying, “She’s my best friend.”
- “Roach,” Jaskier repeats, tasting the name on his tongue, “Like the fish.”
- “Like the fish,” Geralt smiles.
–
please rb if you liked it whoo
!!!
this made me squeal because it was so soft and fluffy!! gentle giants are my weakness
oh my god now i want to read more about this au. like what if Geralt starts going to Jaskier for help with any sea or water related contracts?
inspired by this prompt // post s2, geraskier; in which Jaskier decides to push his luck with some compliments
Later on, he’ll blame it on the alcohol. On the pleasant warmth currently spreading through his body, relaxing, making him feel as though no matter what he says, things will turn out just fine.
It’s not like Jaskier doesn’t ever run his mouth when he’s sober (in fact, he does so far too often), but there arestill certain topics that he avoids, things that he doesn’t want to let slip. Especially these days, when that bitter taste of heartbreak is still relatively fresh on his tongue.
Right now, though, he’s content. Here, in Kaer Morhen - there’s a fire burning, laughter and chatter all around him. Good ale in his cup. And Geralt is sitting right across from him and gods, it’s impossible to look away when there’s this soft look on his witcher’s face, when strands of white hair frame his face just so, when his eyes glow from the light of the flames. He seems just as comfortable as Jaskier feels.
And he’s beautiful, Jaskier thinks to himself and then he’s opening his mouth with not a clue as to what he’s about to say.
“You know, Geralt, I’d compliment you, but I feel like you’re going to take it the wrong way,” is what comes out of it. Could’ve been worse.
Geralt doesn’t move an inch. He only acknowledges Jaskier’s words with a subtle glance and a questioning grunt.
“The wrong way?”
“Yes,” Jaskier nods quickly, shifting his entire body until he has an elbow on the table, chin rested in his hand. He never takes his eyes off Geralt and there’s an amused smile playing across his lips as he elaborates. “Platonically.”
Rating: Explicit - 18+ Only. I will block minors interacting with this work.
Length: 8.4K
Notes: Fuck it, third part of the Stewy Hosseini fic
Warnings: Cursing, angst, explicit sexual content—unsafe sex
Summary: You’d be lying if you said you haven’t thought about Stewy since Rhomboid, but you’ve honestly tried not to. Every time Stewy’s voice, or the memory of his touch or kiss have snuck into your head, you’ve shoved it back into its place.
“We cool?”
You hardly look away from your screen as you hear the question.
“…Huh?” You manage after a long pause.
“You and me, are we, uh…”
You glance over, sweeping your eyes over Michael’s wary, hunched posture beside your desk.
“…Are we what?” You press. “We’re fine, what the fuck are you talking about?” Michael’s eyes flicker to you, dark and nervous. You hesitate before adding, “Michael, I’m giving you a clean slate here. Do me a favor—do not ask any more questions, and we can both forget whatever the fuck happened over the weekend. Okay?”
Michael’s eyes dart, stunned, across your face before he gives a single, firm nod. “Okay.”
Michael is just gross and that’s all I have to say about him rn.
I love Stewy finding out that he’s not Reader’s first rich asshole. Humble that bitch hehe. Although Reece can take a kick in the teeth for mentioning Kendall and the Roys.
Of course, Stewy has a weakness for people who just go “fuck it”. He just loves Scorpio energy I bet.
“You really do mean credit card.”
“Uh-huh.”
“But I like his credit card.”
“I’ll give you another one.”
Sugar daddy!
I love he’s slowly being affectionate and Reader either doesn’t notice or refuses to. I’m banking on the second one.
Three bathrooms!
No dick or pussy has ever had my buying them scotch. Reader is whipped. And probably broke.
Awww, Reader admits to liking him too!
Ayee, I love psychic boo knowing you’re hot even from Argestes. I wonder if Michael heard.
Yes, read him out! I know Stewy has this easy-going persona and seems to take everything with a perfect quip but I like that Reader is indirectly telling him, he’s allowed to be tired with the reader. I think it ties back to why he makes Reader so unsure.
So that apartment visit went exactly how I expected. Won’t be surprised if he starts a GoFund me in reader’s name just to be a dick.
i would just like to say, theres a special reason technos saying 60% of the way when he hit 6 million subs. this is why. please, for the love of elbows, subscribe to technoblade.
