#i feel sick
I’m getting bad again…
It’s festival season, and where I am, it’s really hot. I’ve been working out a lot and I’ve lost weight but my thighs and butt have gotten bigger with muscle, but none of last years shorts fit anymore.
I tried buying some new ones today. And although I have been in such a good place about my body, I haven’t felt this low since high school. I haven’t eaten at all today, and I know I should eat but I can’t justify it.
I just can’t do this again.
I had such a rough day today. I’m in partial hospitalization (a temporary day program) right now and some other patients there really pissed me off. Talking about how they think “psychos” shouldn’t be kept with other patients when being hospitalized. “There should be another ward for people like that.” I don’t know why it bothered me so much. Shit like that usually doesn’t get to me. I haven’t suffered from psychosis since early 2018. But the way they were talking about it… Like they are so fucking superior. It just got under my skin. Then they were talking about smoking weed, doing shrooms and lsd at festivals. “Not like bad drugs. I don’t consider that stuff real drugs.” Neither do I. But what exactly are “bad drugs”? Huh Karen? It’s getting hard to think again. Fuck my clouded mind! I need help. I need to make this feeling go away. My head is starting to hurt again! I need some “medication”. I don’t know where to get it anymore. I’m starting to feel myself fade again.
What is wrong with me? I feel like no one needs me. I’m so lonely. I fuck up everything and everyone. I’m so useless and I’m sick of it.. Give me one reason why should l stay alive..
some of u need to learn how to keep ur shit to yourself
Thank you to everyone whose tagged me in SDS and messaged to ask where I’ve disappeared to! I’ve been experiencing severe abdominal pain for the last few days which has put a halt to pretty much everything (poor N Dog is so confused at this non running lark!) off to the doctor tomorrow morning to hopefully knock whatever this is on the head! I have races to train for, I don’t have tome to be sick!!
I never catch a cold, I immediately catch my death.
THE SMILE STAND UP BUCK
Not feeling well.
Sir allowed me to go to the beach today with my mother in law and sister in law, and our son. And after we all *including my sir, father-in-law,and soon to be brother in law* went out to eat, and now I have an upset belly :( I just want to go to sleep. :( but we aren’t home yet, and I don’t know if sir is gonna want me to pleasure him or not.
“You know how many men are starting to sarcastically call their wives/girlfriends ‘Amber’ or ‘Miss Heard’ when they are upset or angry?
I keep getting messages and comments from women saying this is happening to them in arguments with spouse or exes.
The damage is done.
This case and the societal response to it, the global bullying, mocking and hatred towards Amber is destroying VAWG, feminism & any progress we’ve made breaking down stigma of domestic/sexual abuse - either that - or we had never made any progress at all & we were in an echo chamber.
Last week was the first time a woman commented to tell me that her ex has started calling her ‘Amber’ as an insult.
Then another woman commented that her husband threatened her and when she cried, he called her ‘Amber’
I’ve started seeing more and more comments.
This morning I woke up to a comment from a woman who said her ex was screaming at her in front of their daughter so she asked him to stop screaming and lower his voice and he said ‘Ok Miss Heard’ and DARVO her.
The fact that these comments appear to be from women from different countries, different ages, different backgrounds and yet men are starting to use ‘Amber’ and ‘Miss Heard’ as an insult is fucking terrifying.
I keep finding myself questioning what the real agenda was of televising this trial, and the media coverage of it.
What was the real purpose of tearing apart a woman like this for the whole world to watch on YouTube and Tiktok with their popcorn?
I think we are finding out.”
To anyone who doesn’t know how a vaccine works and would like to, this is how! (But oversimplified)
The vaccine basically contains a fake virus (or a disarmed virus), but your body thinks it’s the real virus. When it is injected into your body, your body will think it’s the real thing despite it actually only being a fake virus. Because it thinks it’s the real virus it fights it like it would any other sickness and creates antibodies. These antibodies are what fight and kill the virus. Antibodies continue to live in your body after they kill the virus. (This is why you have an imunity to sicknesses after you get over it). Anyway, now that your body has fought off the fake virus, you have the antibodies to kill the real virus!! So, if you are vaccinated, you will be resistant to the virus if you catch it because you already have the antibodies to fight it off!
The disarmed virus in the vaccine does not effect you in anyway except to promote the creation of antibodies. It will not make you sick like the actual virus.
i’m drunk too but holy hell, all i care about is making sure he feels okay & knows i’m there for him. i comforted him, rubbed my thumb against his cheek & told him how much i loved him until he fell asleep, i think he’ll be ok. poor baby.. i also keep checking to make sure he’s still breathing every time i stop hearing him making loud breathing noises. i love this boy so much ♡
I’m sick, I’ve been sick since at least last Saturday, which means I had to reschedule my pain management appointment for today. Which would be fine if my doctor was in today, but she’s off, which means I’m seeing someone completely different on the day when I’m completely out of it and feel like the barely living dead. Fortunately my mom agreed to go back with me, so she’ll be my external memory and together we’ll get through it.
To say I’m not looking forward to this is like calling a tornado a little wind.
