Sometimes i dont know whether to live my life to the fullest, be a crazy teen and do all kinds of unforgetable crazy stuff or get education, a job, be a busy person and never be able to have fun and get crazy like that,but to make sure im not failing at life ?

Currently having a very boring life

When we were together my ex repeatedly told me that he was gay, didn’t like women at all actually the idea of being sexual with women made him feel slightly sick even, hell he spoke to his younger brother about being gay and almost told his parents, even made a joke to them about having a boyfriend after we broke up.

…and now I see he says he’s straight. Was I that bad? Was I that fucking shit? Did I turn him off that much? ..was I someone’s “gay phase”.. someone’s “oh I’m curious phase”..

Me:[waiting for my order]

Worker:[yells my order number but forgets my cookie]

Me:“he’s probably going to get it soon”

Anxiety:“but what if he forgot? Or what if you didn’t order one? And your just standing there looking stupid waiting for nothing?

Anxiety:"your gunna be so humiliated if you ask where your cookie is and they say you didn’t order one!

Anxiety:"you’ve been awkwardly standing there for over a minute already, it’s been too long, just go.

Me:"I can just ask if they forgot my cookie”

Anxiety:“no I’m not going to let you embarrass yourself”

Worker:“are you waiting for another order?”

Anxiety:“GET OUT OF THERE”

Me:“no, I was just leaving”

that’s how anxiety can ruin and make you overthink the most simplest things…I just wanted a fucking cookie :(

Whenever I’m having a anxiety attack, I find myself scrolling through posts without actually reading them because I’m too busy freaking out inside my mind.

Hi,I want to spread some positivity. I know that I don’t know you but I wish you the best. Feel free to talk to me whenever you need someone.. I can be a listening ear. I’m here for you. Don’t give up! You did great so far, I’m proud of you even when you aren’t proud of yourself. I love you!

The overthinking is over

I have this unhealthy habit of overthinking everything that I mess up. Even some little mistake that people don’t remember I dwell on too much. And I can’t help it either; I’ve tried letting things go and I still struggle with it. It wears me out and breaks my concentration. So one thing I am doing that I think will help is to write down everything good I have done. Anywhere from holding a door for a stranger or trying my best on assignments. Anything I do that would make me what I consider to be a good person. Everyday I write down something good I did. Then, when all the dark thoughts cloud all of the good qualities I have, I can look back and remember everything I did well and let go of those tiny mistakes.