I have a problem…

So I stopped exercising, restricting and purging for quite a while now. This past week has been really shitty and I’m kinda having a relapse and I’m kinda sorta very disgusting. I’m still the same weight as when I stopped all my bad behaviour, but I’ve gotten a lot bigger due to muscles shrinking and more fat taking over my body. I started fasting, exercising and writing in my journal and stuff and I hope to continue to do so in the future.

Right now I’m looking for effective exercises, foods, tips and tricks to melt all of this fat off fast. If you could leave a note it would be greatly appreciated :)

Purged again??

So I was in the shower pretending to be a singer as everyone does in the shower and I started making these gestures with my hands. There was this one part of the song I was singing that went “makes me wanna spill my guts out” and I stuck 2 fingers in my mouth. I went like…oh?? and it reminded me of when I used to purge. I didnt wanna do it again but I stuck my fingers back in anyway and barfed a lil in the shower. It felt so wrong but it felt so good. Had this moment where I held some of the food in my hand and just looked at it and it was so disgusting but I couldn’t stop looking at it.

Idk why but I thought I’d share this…

Anyone have a “To the Bone” workout game??
Please send it to me if you have one.

Nothing like some hot low cal coffee to warm up your cold, dead heart.

☕☕☕

Me going into my binge:

99 Cals in total

Two egg whites, whisked

Three cups soup stock

One roma tomato, chunked

Spinach (I did a big frozen chunk)

Half a pack shiritaki noodles

Boil everything but egg, then slowly whisk it in.

I really recommend.

It’s five in the morning and I just looked up places to hide drugs so my boyfriend won’t know I have artificial sweeteners.

Ahahahahahahaha what the fuck brain.

Me: Green tea tastes bad

Green tea: but I’m helping your metabolism bitch

Me:

I actually don’t understand, it was so easy for me to lose weight once

What the fuck happened to me?

activities to prevent binge!!

♡read a book while drinking green/black tea (or coffee)

♡ brainstorm ideas for a book / fanfic

♡ draw

♡ research interesting topics or study

♡ look at randon wikipedia articles you never heard before.

♡play with your pets

♡ go on a walk, take photos on the way too!!

♡Listen to music while reading/writing/drawing

♡make a poem/mashup something useful and can make you proud while wasting time

♡ take a bath / shower

♡ do a quick cycle

♡ talk to your friends

♡ look at thinspo

♡ clean your room

♡ help your parents with the chores

Mi infierno es el espejo, intente salir pero una parte de ellas siempre se quedó conmigo. Solo quiero correr y escapar por completo de “a y m”, terminar el plato sin sentir culpa, mirarme y no sentir vergüenza de mi cuerpo pero…Por qué es tan dificil?

~killer~