[now that I have your attention - sorry for cat-fishing you!!!!!!]
The Philippines has 1 week left until the ATB lapses into law. This law will criminalize dissent & opinions that are directed against the government.
I actually did not speak of this outside of Facebook and Twitter but I received death th/reats on some of my art pages and personal accounts for speaking and making art about and against this bill. Since March to June, a lot of my protest art was constantly reported and taken down on sites.
They also violently arrested queer activists in a peaceful protest against the bill and to approve SOGIE Equality Bill which approves LGBTQ+ rights in the Philippines
My people have been suffering in my country. This bill will label protesters as terrorists and arrest them without warrants. They are still not giving us medical aid. The military continues to consume so much of our country’s budget. They are censoring us to make us quiet.
If you would like to know more, you can read this twitter thread about it.
I will add more stories of injustice every single time I reblog this.
Let’s start with April 21, 2020 – The murder of Winston Ragos, an ex-military officer.
He was shot near a quarantine control point along Maligaya Drive in Barangay Pasong Putik, Quezon City after he appeared to try to pull something from his sling bag while taunting the law enforcers.
While witnesses were shouting to search Winston first, Master Sergeant Daniel Florendo Jr, shot him twice. Winston’s mother said people were shouting because they believe Winston carried no firearms despite displaying anger at cops. He was mentally ill and could have challenged cops on a whim.
“They think he had bad intentions, but the bag that hung over his neck only has a water bottle inside,” Merlyn told Rappler in a phone interview on Thursday, April 23.
She should know, she said, because she gave her son the bag herself.
Police then reported to the public that they killed Winston because he kept a gun inside his bag.
However, on June 4, 2020, the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) has concluded that Master Sergeant Daniel Florendo Jr and other police companions murdered former soldier Winston Ragos, planted evidence in the crime scene during the scuffle over enforcing quarantine rules in Quezon City in April.
NBI Deputy Director Ferdinand Lavin confirmed to reporters that the bureau has filed complaints of murder, perjury and planting of evidence against Florendo before the Quezon City Prosecutor’s Office. Murder is a non-bailable offense.
Aside from Florendo, police trainees Joy Flaviano, Arnel Fontillas, Dante Fronda and Dalejes Gaciles are also sued for murder. Florendo and Staff Sargeant Hector Besas are sued for planting of evidence.
May 21, 2020 - To cross coronavirus border, prostituted women abused by cops first
Please read articles about this issue hereandhere.
Quem ia prever, meu amor, que seus pais resolveriam passear de mãos dadas naquele fim de tarde justamente na rua da praça em que você escolheu para realizar sua fantasia mais depravada? Não consigo imaginar a reação deles ao ver a filha amada em trajes mínimos [microsaia sem calcinha, salto alto…] oferecendo-se aos olhos dos homens que passam. Ainda bem que você os viu à distância enquanto conversava com aquele homem que já lhe passava a mão nas coxas e puxou-o para dentro da praça rapidamente… fiquei aqui com o coração na mão sem poder fazer nada. Mas agora que passou preciso te contar: sabe aquele senhor com quem você transou ali perto da estátua quando já estava anoitecendo? Pois então, amada: seus pais estavam voltando e viram você sendo pega por trás. Mas não se preocupe, amada: sua mãe virou o rosto e seu pai a arrastou para fora dali; além disso, a penumbra e o seu cabelo no rosto tornariam impossível que você fosse reconhecida. Só eu sabia que era você e a uma distância segura observava a futura mãe dos meus filhos ser prostituta por um dia.
Você namoraria uma garota [ou ex-garota] que já fez programa com um ou mais homens que você conhece? Sonhei com isso duas vezes no espaço de uma semana e fiquei me perguntando…
Não romantizo a atividade e sei que várias meninas passam maus bocados nessa atividade. Também não consigo ter uma relação monetária com o sexo, embora não tivesse problema nenhum em ter uma relação afetiva séria com uma garota de programa. Mas fiquei me perguntando como seria se isso acontecesse de verdade.
Claro que os sonhos tiveram origem no prazer que tenho em saber quem são os homens que já transaram com a minha amada: gosto de conhecê-los até e, se possível, gosto que saibam que eu sei [e gosto] que transou com ela. Sei que no futuro terei no meu círculo de amizades muitos homens que já transaram com aquela que será minha amada e que, se Deus quiser, continuarão transando com ela mesmo depois de casada comigo; mas realmente fiquei pensando como seria me relacionar com homens que pagaram para ter sexo com a minha esposa. Provavelmente eu me sentisse um pouco desconfortável com a situação, mas certamente não deixaria de viver um grande amor por conta disso. Só vivendo para saber…
Look at those professions. They’re not society’s outcasts. They’re men that many women might work for or buy a service from. Never forget that
Like I always way, these are your fathers, brothers, sons, friends, classmates, coworkers, boyfriends, husbands. We will never be free before women truly realize that this is the reality of men.
Eighteen year old Billionaire heiress, Jean Wave, is posh, charismatic, and like most girls her age, naive enough to believe she understands how the world works.
She finds it easy to believe that the man who stole her purse would contact her, and propose to give it back, so long as he doesn’t get into trouble with the wealthy and powerful Wave family. If she hadn’t trusted his fear of her name, Jean would have never sneaked out of her mansion in the dead of night, to visit the slummy part of town.
She had slummed in “The Swamps” before, but this time her trip took her deeper than ever into the seedy realm of poverty and crime. There, in a den of prostitution and sexual debauchery, the man who stole her purse will show her how the real world actually works, and once she opened her mind to him, Jean Wave will finally know her true worth.
She will remove her rich clothes, shed her pretentious sense of privilege, and kneel naked before her new lord and master.
It was a normal day and I was bored. My back hurt, my feet hurt, basically every body part hurt but I couldn’t leave, obviously, I needed the money.
This relatively unassuming man comes in, in a suit, the kind I see every single day. He opened with “you’re gorgeous,” I smiled and asked what I could do for him. He ignored that and told me he’d always loved Black women and if I wanted to hang out off the clock. Again, I smiled and asked what I could do for him.
He leaned in, and put his hand on my arm. “Do you have a boyfriend?” I asked him why it mattered, he asked why I was being so mean. I told him “I’m just trying to work, dear, what can I do for you?” He said “you can go out with me.” I smiled and shook my head, wondering why he wouldn’t just tell me what he wanted and go. There was no one around and I knew if I said something to anyone, they wouldn’t do anything, anyway.
I finally got him what he wanted and he left, but not before letting me know he’d be back tomorrow. And he did come back. Every day for weeks. And every time, he made me feel uncomfortable, touching me when I said don’t, or otherwise looking at me in the most disgusting way. As I predicted, no one I told would do anything. No one cared. This guy was harassing me every single day and I had no recourse. In fact, some told me I should be grateful, since he was a good tipper.
Anyway, that’s why I quit working at Starbucks.
The point of this post is to illustrate that women get harassed in every industry, not just sex work, by baiting you with what you think is a story about a client mistreating me, when really it was a customer at a coffee shop. This is super good writing here, I’m just saying.
In the small Ahwa near the meeting of Shari’ Mobtadayan and el-Qasr el-Ainy you can become part of the furniture.
The chairs are recklessly stacked on top of one another, propped up by the sturdy steel body of the smouldering coal store. They are anxious for a customer of their own to come and put them to use so that they no longer feel like the odd piece of rubbish which Nasser - the owner - throws to the street, not caring when or by whom it will be swept up. They stand there, idle. Boasting to each other about who they have served here yet at the same time quietly pondering the fidelity of their masters to their cause. By the wall, the odd couple are glad of their freedom. The relative comfort of their silk upholstery guarantees them a place in society even without the need for their subjugation. Their superiority, you would think, would distress the commoners; but despite their angst they are still able to find a sense of validity by clinging to the newly-laid ceramic floor, lightly littered by the odd leaf of tobacco and stray bottle cap. They have lived a good life, the stains of which are visible in the small cracks lining the rim of their torsos; just as the first unwanted wrinkle claims its place on the face of the middle-aged mother. They resist growing old. Of course, they still have half of their lives ahead of them - but these wrinkles are the first frosts of their winter. No longer will they receive the same lustful looks from the fatigued Kiosk owner, impatient for respite from his dull routine. The journalist, sporting his custom-made suit will search for a younger, more attractive model to which to dedicate his custom. Yes, these chairs have seen the best of their lives. Their heyday now but a distant nostalgia which they are not quite prepared to fully surrender to the past.
Arrogantly looking on, two rows of shisha pipes are secure in their places. Nasser - albeit through necessity - tends to their every need as though they were his daughters. After every use their lungs are cleared and new water poured in; their long, carefully made-up limbs sinuously wrapped around their bodies. They are the reason for the Ahwa’s existence. Old men come, coughing and spluttering, craving their next fix; and although the pipes may not be in the correct mental disposition to be used, they are aware that they have no choice in the matter and must therefore desensitise themselves to every unwelcome touch, each insensitive drag on their delicate and dainty parts so that the customer leaves satisfied and wanting to return. They may rather be purchased directly from their mass-produced workshops of the souq, for one faithful owner to proudly display them on some far-off mantelpiece as a loving souvenir of the east; but they are here, part of a well-oiled system of exploitation, their ornate beauty and individual temperaments overlooked, condemned to slavery in this brutal bordello of testosterone and vice.
If you think France is some kind of puritanical state where no one fucks you’re insane. Countries don’t need a healthy balance of human trafficking.
France adopted the nordic model in 2016. So french rapists now often go to Germany, Spain and Switzerland. I myself only have to drive a few hours to go from France to Switzerland and this is what you can see:
This swiss advert offers men to empty their balls in women and compares us to cars.
This one offers our mouthes for christmas.
This one compares us to cars again and calls us “holes”.
“For you, our women are not on strike”
This one compares our bodies to football fields that men will successfully play on.
in camera is pleased to present a solo exhibition by catalan artist Txema Salvans (born in 1971, Barcelona).
The Waiting Game is made of two parts. One illustrates the waiting through the representation of prostitutes along the roads in Spain, and the other one through fishers.
One of the topics that we explore extensively in my sex and culture course in Amsterdam is sex work. As part of this course, I give my students the opportunity to speak with current and former sex workers about their experiences in the industry and, not surprisingly, one of the topics that always comes up is money.
What exactly is the price of sex in Amsterdam?
Before we answer that, it’s worth noting that prostitution is legal and government regulated in the Netherlands. However, this isn’t to say that all sex work that occurs in the Netherlands is legal. In order for it to be legal, it must operate within the confines of the law.
So, for example, someone running a brothel would need to secure the necessary license/permit from the government, pay taxes, and comply with all regulations. In other words, there are a lot of hoops to jump through—and, as a result, this had led to the emergence of a sex work shadow industry that operates outside of the law. In fact, some believe that this shadow industry is many times larger than the legalized industry.
How things work in the shadow industry in terms of pricing, we don’t really have a good sense of. So what we’re talking about in this post is sex work that occurs within the legal framework in the Netherlands.
Based on what several workers have told me, there seems to be a pretty standard going rate in the Red Light District, where (usually) scantily clad workers stand behind floor-to-ceiling windows and beckon potential customers as they walk by. That rate is 50 Euro (or about $60 USD) for 15-20 minutes. However, this only applies to what many workers refer to as “basic sex” (their phrase, not mine), meaning penis-in-vagina intercourse.
Of course, you can negotiate to do more or to stay longer, but only if you’re willing to pay extra. So, for example, if you have kinks or fetishes, you want kissing, you have a spouse/partner who wants to watch or participate, or you want something else beyond intercourse, that’s all individually negotiated and added to the price. However, workers have the freedom to decide whether they want to indulge your requests, and most workers I’ve spoken with have said they have firm limits on what they will and won’t do (for example, ‘no anal’ is the most common limit I’ve heard). So it’s not the case that money can buy whatever you want.
Pricing works differently outside of the Red Light District—and it really depends on the venue in which sex is being sold. For example, I spoke with a woman who formerly worked in a high-end gentleman’s club in a residential area outside the city center. The price there is 300 Euro per hour ($350-360 USD) with a one-hour minimum. And, again, that’s the price for “basic” sex—anything beyond that costs extra.
At these clubs, the men usually stay for a few hours because they’re looking for more than just sex—they’re looking for conversation and connection as well (or “the girlfriend experience,” as some call it). And depending how long they stay, how many bottles of champagne they buy, and what they want, they may very well end up paying thousands of Euros for an evening.
That said, it’s important to note that the workers aren’t taking home as much of that money as you think. For window workers (who are independent contractors) the cost of renting a window in the most desirable area during peak hours can cost as much as 150 Euro (approximately $175 USD). Thus, a worker would need to see three clients per shift just to pay for the space. Even then, however, she’d be losing money because this isn’t tax-free income.
To pay the window fee, account for taxes, and make a solid income, you’d probably need to see 6-10 clients per shift if you were a window worker.
By contrast, if you’re working in a high-end gentleman’s club, you split your hourly earnings with the club. However, you can make a solid income in this setting by seeing just one client per shift if you can get them to stick around for multiple hours and upsell them on extras (for example, workers get a commission on champagne purchases).
I should clarify that everything mentioned above applies to women selling sex to men because women are the most common sellers and men are the most common buyers in Amsterdam (in fact, there are no men who work behind the windows and, from what I understand, there’s only one brothel with male workers). I’d be curious to know how rates vary when workers are men or trans, but thus far, the only sex workers I’ve met in Amsterdam are cisgender women.
So there’s your inside look at how sex work ‘works’ in regulated settings in Amsterdam. What do you think? Are the numbers about what you expected or do they surprise you?
Follow the blog to keep up on what we’re learning during our study abroad trip, and follow our daily adventures or live vicariously through us on Instagram @JustinJLehmiller
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Image Source: Photo by Miltiadis Fragkidis on Unsplash
Today in my study abroad course on sex and culture in the Netherlands, we’re focusing on sex work, particularly the link between sex work and mental health.
Many studies have been conducted on the mental health of people (mostly women) who sell sex for a living. Most of this research has found that sex workers experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, and PTSD than the rest of the population. However, virtually of all of this research is based on studies of sex workers who live in countries where prostitution is illegal.
So what about places, such as the Netherlands, where sex work is permitted under the law? Do sex workers tend to have better mental health outcomes in these cultures? Research suggests that they do, but that working conditions matter a lot [1,2].
Women who work the streets, even in cultures where sex work is legal, experience high rates of mental health problems. This is due to the fact that those who work the streets tend to be in more dire financial situations (meaning they often enter prostitution as an option of last resort). They are also more likely to enter the profession to support drug habits and are at much higher risk of sexual violence due to the nature of this working environment.
By contrast, those who work in private studios tend to be much better off. In fact, in places where sex work is legal, sex workers’ rates of mental health disorders are no different from women in the general population [1]. Studios offer more protection from sexual violence and reduce the risk of sex workers being taken advantage of. For example, panic buttons are often installed in these rooms. Plus, others are often nearby to provide security and oversight. Those who work in studios (compared to those who work the streets) are far more likely to voluntarily enter the profession and to say they enjoy their work.
What all of this tells us is that it’s not necessarily the case that all sex workers are better off in cultures where prostitution is legal because working conditions and motivations for entering the job matter. They matter a lot. However, these results tell us that sex work is not inherently traumatizing. Many sex workers do enjoy their jobs and their mental health does not necessarily suffer because of it; however, this scenario is far more likely to be observed in places where sex work is legal than it is in countries where it’s illegal.
To get an inside perspective about what it’s like to be a sex worker in the Netherlands, my students and I are sitting down today with a Dutch sex worker at the Prostitution Information Center (PIC) for a seminar and Q&A (side note: the PIC is an organization dedicated to educating the public about the realities of prostitution–in other words, they’re ambassadors for sex work). If you’re ever in Amsterdam, I highly recommend stopping by the PIC and taking one of their tours because you’ll get information that you just won’t get anywhere else.
Follow the blog to keep up on what we’re learning during our study abroad trip, and follow our daily adventures or live vicariously through us on Instagram @JustinJLehmiller
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click herefor more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and PsychologyonFacebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTubeandInstagram.
[1]Rössler, W., Koch, U., Lauber, C., Hass, A. K., Altwegg, M., Ajdacic‐Gross, V., & Landolt, K. (2010). The mental health of female sex workers. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 122(2), 143-152.
[2] Krumrei-Mancuso, E. J. (2017). Sex work and mental health: a study of women in the Netherlands. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 46(6), 1843-1856.
The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted people’s sex lives in a number of ways, which I’ve written about extensively on the blog (see here for a video recap of some of the key findings). But how has it impacted the sex work industry?
In the video below, produced by ABC News and FiveThirtyEight, one of the highest paid sex workers in the United States (Alice Little) is interviewed about how the pandemic changed her business. Other current and former workers are also interviewed, and they share the challenges of making a living in this industry over the last year and a half and the ways they had to adapt in order to survive.
Check it out for an inside look at sex work during a global pandemic.
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click herefor more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and PsychologyonFacebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTubeandInstagram.
Henri de Toulouse Lautrec, La Promeneuse, 1892, oil on cardboard.
This intimate natural portrait depicts a prostitute walking the streets. Lautrec was particularly fascinated by the lifestyle of prostitutes and felt a strong affinity with them and other members of the urban underclass. This is perhaps because he felt like a freakish social outcast among his own aristocratic classes due to his physical abnormality.
A new report highlights the many ways that LGBT people and those living with HIV/AIDS are treated throughout the criminal justice system. One policy — using condoms as evidence that people, especially transgender people of color, are engaging in sex work — strikes many as particularly wrong-headed, yet remains surprisingly common, most notably in the NYPD.
“One time I was standing on the street [in NYC] talking with some friends [on a Saturday night] and an officer approached me. She asked for my ID. … The dispatcher told her that my record was clear, but instead of letting me go, she said she wanted to see in my purse….
When she looked inside, she saw two condoms. She called the precinct back and asked for a police car to come. I asked her, ‘Why are you locking me up? I can’t carry condoms?’ She replied, 'You are getting locked up for prostitution.’
When police take our condoms or lock us up for carrying condoms, they are putting our lives at risk. How am I supposed to protect myself from HIV and STDs when I am scared to leave my house with condoms in my purse?”
New York state lawmakers are considering a bill to end the practice. More on that here. Meanwhile, the NYPD told the Associated Press that it is reviewing the legislation, as well as its condom policy.
“The NYPD will no longer confiscate unused condoms from suspected sex workers to be used as evidence of prostitution, ending a longstanding practice that had been criticized by civil rights groups for undermining efforts to combat AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections. Under the new policy announced Monday, officers may continue to seize condoms as evidence in sex-trafficking and promotion of prostitution cases, but they will not use them in support of prostitution cases….
"A policy that inhibits people from safe sex is a mistake and dangerous,” Mayor Bill de Blasio said.
(Buttons by Streetwise & Safe, photos by K. Lundie)
Lucy explores the less-covered history of the technological phenomenon that is synthesised speech; computer generated voice aids that are used by millions across the globe, who not only have disabilities, but also use everyday software such as Siri.
Lucy Hawking covers all aspects of the history of synthesised speech - from the mechanical “speaking machine” created by inventor Wolfgang von Kempelen, to the “text-to-speech” research and audio clips curated by Dennis Klatt in the first half of the twentieth century.
It’s amazing to look at how far speech synthesis has come, and how much can be improved still. Regarding voice personalization, there’s a company called VocaliD that is working on creating custom voices that blend a person’s distinct vocal characteristics with a donor voice.
In many places around the world, sex trafficking and exploitation are grave concerns, and as Amnesty made clear in their explanation of their decision, so are the problems this marginalized community faces because of the criminalization of their labor. The Rentboy raid only distracts from these real concerns. It would have been far more productive for the government to have focused on a more vulnerable group—say, the numerous transgender women of color who resort to prostitution and who are repeatedly subjected to violence.
It’s unwise to lump all of these categories of sex workers together: We should be able to vehemently protest and decry the plight of poor women forced into the sex trade as a means of survival, while still defending the rights of the men—and women—in the United States who advertise their services on escort sites as a means of supplementing their income. Claiming that all women who engage in sex work are victims is at best, patronizing, and worse, anti-feminist, in that it assumes women don’t know how to choose what to do with their bodies.
This is a bit of a departure from the Men who buy sex: Who they buy and what they know study that I read a couple days ago. That study found an association between the attitudes of men who buy sex and violence against women. Now here’s an article defending people’s rights to their bodies. I believe both, but how do we reconcile sex positivity in a coercive society? There’s the argument that all work is coercive, which I don’t think is incorrect. Something doesn’t sit right with me when I compare sex work with other exploitive forms of work, though, and I think it’s because the basis of most sex work comes from the patriarchal, heterosexual ruling class. To me, while an individual can feel sexually liberated by taking control over their own body, I don’t think that sexual liberation can exist under patriarchy as a whole. Most of the time, it’s men like those in the study who are buying sex.
I’m lucky in that my westernized parents never forced any sort of “girls should be docile and fragile” ideal on me, but that didn’t protect me from family and friends who still thought I ought to look the part. Aunts who clucked their tongues at my round thighs. Family friends who would take my mother aside and mutter in low concerned tones about how wide I was getting. And I’m sure almost all of you can relate, it is a terrible, terrible thing to have people openly dissect the changes in your body that you feel powerless to stop. I lived with two standards of beauty, neither of which told me any part of my body was worth loving.
I continued to struggle with my weight all throughout middle school and high school, oscillating between hating how I looked and hating how I felt about how I looked. […] Some methods, like exercise classes and eliminating soda, certainly made me healthier, but I never got my weight down to the number I wanted. Other methods, like starving myself, only added to the colossally fucked-up web of low self-esteem, perfectionism, model minority mayhem, impostor syndrome, and distorted body image that was my mind.
Slenderness is part of the beauty standard for most cultures. But part of the reason the pressure to be thin in East Asian culture is so suffocating is because it’s assumed to be a natural given. Terms like “Asian-metabolism” and “Asian skinny genes” point toward the expectation that being slender comes effortlessly (and biologically) for people of Chinese, Taiwan, Japanese, Korean descent.
There was actually a similar article to this a few years ago, also on xoJane, “Fat for an Asian:” The Pressure to be Naturally Perfect (TW: height/weight numbers, descriptions of disordered eating). It can be really conflicting to straddle multiple cultures as a 1.5 or second-generation immigrant, especially as a teenager. Common themes: not feeling beautiful by western or eastern standards, struggling with the openness in which Asians talk about weight while having been raised in American culture, feeling defective because all Asians are supposed to be skinny, being oppressed by the model minority stereotype, not matching the image of what Asian women are portrayed as in popular culture.
Taylor Swift Is Dreaming Of A Very White Africa by Viviane Rutabingwa and James Kassaga Arinaitwe We are shocked to think that in 2015, Taylor Swift, her record label and her video production group would think it was okay to film a video that presents a glamorous version of the white colonial fantasy of Africa.
Here are some facts for Swift and her team: Colonialism was neither romantic nor beautiful. It was exploitative and brutal. The legacy of colonialism still lives quite loudly to this day. Scholars have argued that poor economic performance, weak property rights and tribal tensions across the continent can be traced to colonial strategies. So can other woes. In a place full of devastation and lawlessness, diseases spreads like wildfire, conflict breaks out and dictators grab power.
Swift’s music is entertaining for many. She should absolutely be able to use any location as a backdrop. But she packages our continent as the backdrop for her romantic songs devoid of any African person or storyline, and she sets the video in a time when the people depicted by Swift and her co-stars killed, dehumanized and traumatized millions of Africans. That is beyond problematic.
And then she decided to donate the proceeds from advertisements linked to her video to the charity African Parks Foundation of America. If you travel to some of Africa’s parks, you’ll see the rangers and guides are black Africans.
So why not show them in the video?
Even though this is “just” entertainment, or “just” a music video, I think it’s important to criticize seemingly frivolous popular culture like this because it’s so visible. I absolutely abhor when prominent musicians and their production teams are so lazy as to default to using exoticization, cultural appropriation, animals as props, or sexuality to sell their music every single time. Taylor’s music video is offensive in terms of completely erasing blackness from her depiction of Africa – it’s also offensive because it exploited free-roaming animals and promotes normative ideals of male beauty and behavior (”He’s so tall and handsome as hell / He’s so bad, but he does it so well”). Children and teenagers watch this, for goodness’ sake. Honestly, most popular culture gets me flustered and angry.
Self-ish:Part 1,Part 2,Part 3 Ana Cecilia Alvarez, Victoria Campbell, Durga Chew-Bose, Fiona Duncan, Jazmine Hughes, Josephine Livingstone, Fariha Roísín, and Charlotte Shane discuss selfishness.
Victoria: But in the context of feminism, selfishness-as-individualism is very problematic. The struggle against patriarchy can’t be compared to the conflict between individual liberty and traditional authority because both are patriarchal.
What’s the difference between being self-qualified, self-actualized, self-sufficient, self-fulfilled, self-taught, self-serviced, self-made, self-governed, self-organized, self-assured or self-realized and being selfish? Maybe it’s just having a dick.
We’re taught to think that the world owes us something in return for our suffering because the world was built on sacrifice. Which is just a prettier word for exploitation. If selfishness is a refusal it should be the refusal to suffer for “the greater good,” the refusal to sacrifice the self for other, the refusal of the commerce model of life that replaces the Pavlovian bell with a whip and trains us to think every little pleasure should be deserved before it’s given.
This was a lovely and insightful discussion to read. Besides thinking about selfishness, compromise, and love, it left me wondering how I can have thoughtful conversations like these with my own friends more often!
The Subtle Linguistics of Polite White Supremacy by Yawo Brown Polite White Supremacy is the notion that whites should remain the ruling class while denying that they are the ruling class, politely.
Polite White Supremacy is very real. So why is it that we must specifically say ‘Polite White Supremacy’ rather than Racism? We must say Polite White Supremacy for three reasons. First, saying #PWS puts the responsibility solely on the creators of a systemic problem. Second, this phrase addresses the subtlety and casualness with which oppression is administered. Thirdly, it eradicates the all-too-common confusion between racismandprejudice. It’s important to eradicate this confusion so it can be clear that racism is tied to a power structure and access to resources.
In detail, Polite White Supremacy relies on three key components to ensure its success: comfort,control, and confidentiality.
Whites who participate in #PWS desire to be comfortable in all settings while maintaining some influential level of control over all situations without acknowledging this power. Omitting acknowledgment of white privilege gives off the psychological effect that whites have somehow worked harder than non-whites and blacks must be lazy since statistically blacks are suffering a great deal in America. They pretended this was all natural.
The silence of confidentiality is the glue holding this whole charade in place because #PWS can’t exist out in the open as overt white supremacy, not because it’s wrong, but because it’s unfashionable to be an open white supremacist in today’s society.
I like the emphasis on using “Polite White Supremacy” because the term implies that people fool themselves into thinking that they have good intentions. It’s important for us to realize the power of language and the words we use, whether it’s saying “revelers” instead of “white rioters”, “meat” instead of “dead body”, or not using someone’s preferred pronouns.
Men who buy sex: Who they buy and what they know by Melissa Farley, Julie Bindel, and Jacqueline M. Golding A sample of 103 men in London, England, who used trafficked and non-trafficked women in prostitution were asked about their experiences and awareness of the sex industry.
Men’s acceptance of prostitution is one of a cluster of attitudes that encourages and justifies violence against women. Violent behaviours against women have been associated with attitudes that promote men’s beliefs that they are entitled to sexual access to women, are superior to women and are licensed as sexual aggressors. The purpose of the research was to assess men’s attitudes toward women in prostitution and their awareness of and use of trafficking victims, with the goal of ultimately developing prostitution and trafficking prevention programmes.
Selected comments about prostitution by London men who buy sex:
“I feel sorry for these girls but this is what I want.”
“I have sex as a means to an end to meet my sexual needs… It’s a financial transaction.”
“It should be legalised over here. This is the way God created us. It is being human. If you don’t have a partner then you have to go to a prostitute.”
The association between these men’s acceptance of myths about prostitution and their acceptance of myths about rape was statistically reliable (r = 0.23, p = .024). The more accepting they were of prostitution, the more likely they were to also accept cultural myths about rape such as “Women say no but they really mean yes” or “A woman who dresses provocatively is asking to be raped.” The notion that prostitutes are “un-rape-able” was a common belief among the men in this sample. Twenty-five per cent told us that the very concept of raping a prostitute or call girl was “ridiculous.” Nearly one-half of the buyers stated that rape happens because men get sexually carried away (47%) or their sex drive gets “out of control” (48%). […] The men expressed a number of misogynist attitudes, some of which frankly endorsed rape. Those with the highest scores on the hostile masculinity scale tended to be those who most strongly endorsed rape myths (r = 0.71, p < 0.0001).
Men who buy sex are aware that their relationship with a woman in prostitution is not a genuine attachment, and that the sex, race and social inequality in the relationship make real reciprocity impossible. Nonetheless they are disappointed and often feel “tricked” by what they know is the woman’s simulation of emotional and sexual response.
Legalisation and prostitution tolerance zones encouraged men to buy sex. Several men explained that once having visited areas where prostitution is legal or promoted, they returned to UK with a renewed dedication to buying sex even if that practice is illegal. The new UK legislation needs to be enforced extra-territorially. Almost half of the men had paid for sex in other countries, mostly in legalised regimes such as the Netherlands.
Men’s attitudes play a central role in perpetrating violence against women. Efforts to prevent violence against women must address not only those attitudes which are overtly condoning of violence against women, but also the wider clusters of attitudes related to sex, including prostitution, which normalise and justify this violence (Flood and Pease, 2009).
I think it’s really important to recognize that our society promotes the notion that men need sex as part of being “masculine”. This isn’t just in the context of prostitution, but in romantic relationships as well – sex is something that’s necessary. A relationship without sex won’t last. People in a relationship are entitled to sex; sex is owed.
There was an interesting discussion about masculinityin/r/anarchism today. /u/danharaj wrote, “Traditional masculinity is characterized by insecurity, anxiety, and a constant need to affirm itself and differentiate itself from femininity, which it constantly degrades and attempts to control. […] ‘Emasculate’ is a verb with no feminine counterpart. Everything terrible about men comes down to such a toxic, barren, highly controlled conception of masculinity.” /u/pukescabies then remarked, “It is kind of surreal when you realize the typical ‘masculine’ role in male-female relationships revolves around being hyper-jealous and possessive. Too much acceptance of your partner’s autonomy is viewed as weak.” There’s a huge need to stop this type of thinking – not just because these attitudes perpetrate violence against women, but also because they are harmful to the men who believe they must do these things in order to be “men”.
I don’t know whether I support the legalization of prostitution or not. In the wake of Rachel Moran’s article, Buying Sex Should Not Be Legal, and the discussions around it, I’ve come to the conclusion that most people are at a loss for what to do. The decriminalization of prostitution in Germany hasn’t reduced exploitation. The Nordic model is controversial. The current state of regulation in America is broken. Regardless of the law, however, I think that dismantling our notions of masculinity, opposing compulsory sexuality, teaching better sex education (including concepts of consent and coercion), and establishing a universal basic income are some necessary steps on the path to eliminating exploitation and sex trafficking.
I ran away to Amsterdam for a long weekend, I am predisposed to some airport panic but I had some techniques, music and bleary tired eyes from an early rush to the airport , I had to have some stop moments of stopping, taking a breath and reordering my head. Instantly the proud architecture stood up to me, making the bleak but bright weather quite beautiful. The Red Light District was a bit of a revelation, these were women, young women my age and not wax works. Their story plays on my mind and I naturally want to look closer but this isn’t a museum, I really recommend reading up on the way these girls are gathered, treated and neglected. Knowledge is Power. I managed to visit to the famous Condomerie, I found the Eiffel tower condom the most entertaining, a cultured and classy condom (hey!) Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time to get really visually involved.
~~ We really appreciate your kind support! It will allow us to keep our nonprofit up and running, so we can help and inform many more people in the coming year. This includes supporting women who are still stuck in porn and the sex industry, those who are transitioning, and survivors – who often continue to struggle and need assistance for years after they’ve left.
Remember – pornography fuels child abuse, sexual assault, prostitution, sex trafficking, and many other devastating harms. So it’s very important that we are able to continue our vital work. Thanks again!
3. If you’d like to create a Facebook fundraiser to help our organization and cause, you can do so at the link below. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation are matching up to $1,000 per fundraiser today! :-)
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Our custom AmazonSmile link for AntiPornography.org:
The creators of the ‘Sexy Baby’ documentary on porn’s harms to teens have now premiered the ‘Hot Girls Wanted’ documentary’ — about the exploitative world of teen amateur porn:
“The disturbing world of amateur pornography has been laid bare by a new documentary called ‘Hot Girls Wanted,’ which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival on Saturday.
The insightful look at the world of pornography shows just how easy it is for teenagers, in particular, to get caught up in a sex trade that promises big bucks and fame.
But in a revealing peek into the billion dollar industry, documentary filmmakers exposed how professionally produced films are being made to look like home movies. …
It showed how Craigslist ads which promised free flights to Miami bring in a constant stream of would-be porn stars. During the film, Riley, a 23-year-old ‘agent’ hosts half a dozen young women eager to enter the industry at his Miami home.
He says casually: ‘Every day, another girl turns 18.’
But the brutal world of pornography only gives girls aged 18- to 21 a career span that typically lasts just three months, due to high turnover.
Tressa, an 18-year-old girl featured in the film, admits she was attracted to porn as a way to escape her Texas hometown.”
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Ouch. That’s a sad state of affairs. :-(
And by the way, if porn is so great and “empowering,” why is the career-span of these young women only three months?? Very telling…
“Sexy Baby” was a very good documentary and we’re looking forward to seeing and sharing this new effort by these excellent filmmakers who are doing such a great job exposing the harms of pornography. Go anti-porn team! :-)
~ Here’s an excellent article on the “Hot Girls Wanted” film and another important documentary that just debuted at Sundance about epidemic rape on college campuses:
“We did actually start this film by going to college campuses and talking to frat boys, to get some background research, and on our sort of checklist of things we wanted to film was this amateur porn world, because all these boys are watching this porn… and it is no mistake that their behavior is aggressive, and that there are all these rapes on college campuses, because this is where it’s starting. This is what they’re watching.”
Exactly! Thanks to the filmmakers for telling it like it is and helping to educate the masses!
Here’s a powerful, heartbreaking, but inspirational story of ex porn performer “Sunset Thomas” (@SunsetThomas) — who was in the porn industry for decades, (she made over 200 films), and who also worked for years in Nevada’s legal brothels.
Now known by her real name Diane, this article shares her story, describing the horrific toll that the sex industry took on her because of how she was so used and abused by the men in her life. (Mostly personally, but sometimes professionally, as those worlds were often connected.) It also shares how incredibly difficult it was for Diane to leave the sex trade.
“Thomas explained to a reporter how many of the men in her life poached off her decades of earnings, first in the porn industry and later in brothels that capitalized off her high profile adult industry name. She said despite the fact she spent over two decades in the profession – her name and face known throughout the world – she has little to show in the way of savings.
“I’m finally out,” Thomas said. “I was tired of the stress and people forcing me to do things I don’t want to do. I’m tired of people trying to pressure me to keep doing it when I don’t have to do it. I want to live a normal life like everyone else.” […]
“The conditions at the brothel where she was working were prison-like with two week, 24/7 lockdowns,” Dr. Martin said. “It was an existence for her that became more and more unbearable, mentally and physically. She wanted to leave, but the money she was making for them was an incentive for them to keep her in it.” […]
Stanley [Diane’s mother] said it was difficult to hear her daughter say over and over again she didn’t want to live that kind of life anymore.
“I heard her cry and say she did not want to do these things,” Stanley said. “But no one would help, until Robert (Martin). She and Robert had been friends for a long time and when she called and asked him for help he went and got her, but she was nearly dead.”
Stanley was referring to Thomas’ poor state of health when Martin retrieved her from Las Vegas, where she had gone into hiding after being beaten and injured by someone she declined to immediately identify. After rescuing Thomas from a bad situation, Dr. Martin nursed her back to health, Thomas’ mother said.”
READ THIS FULL, INSPIRATIONAL, AND MOVING STORY AT THE LINK BELOW: (And please don’t forget to like, comment and share to spread the word and support the cause. Thanks! :-))
NOTE: For some reason the reporter inserted a random short section in the middle of the article that shares a bishop’s opinion on women leaving the sex industry. While everyone is free to practice any faith or none as they choose, Diane has written on her Twitter account that she is spiritual and not religious, so she’s not following the religious aspects of the path that this bishop advises, who is someone who is not connected to Diane.
And to be clear, women in the sex industry are *exploited* by pimps, johns, husbands and boyfriends, etc. So those who are committing the greatest transgressions (“sins”, per the bishop) are not the women in prostitution, who are usually just trying desperately to survive, but the (almost always) MALE EXPLOITERS. It is these men — not the women they’ve exploited — who should be seeking “redemption”, by coming clean and making amends, etc. The bishop does provide some other solid advice, though, about exited women finding a new set of friends for support, who aren’t in the sex industry.
In any case, we wish Diane all the best with whatever path she chooses to take from here on out that helps her to heal and prosper in her new and healthier life.
Go Diane! Well done on your new life! We support you and are grateful for you sharing your story to inform, help, and inspire others! :-)
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