A/N: In honor of Endgames coming out this week, I thought I’d start with a little Steve Rogers imagine. This is pretty much sad. There is only speculation at this point, but we already know we are gonna lose some of our favorite superheroes. Am I the only one who will be a sobbing mess after seeing that movie ? Enjoy, Jaymes.
« Steve? »
Standing on her balcony, he kept on watching the sky.
« I don’t think I can do this anymore, Y/N » He whispered.
« Do what? »
« I’m tired of fighting »
She walked to him, putting a comforting hand on his back.
« Are you expecting me to ask you to stay ? » She muttered.
She could not see the slight smile on his face, a sweet picture of their life together forming in his head, a life they would had if he decided to stay.
« There’s nothing I wish more than to stay here, with you. » He confessed.
« There’s nothing I wish more than for that to be true »
He vehemently turned to look at her, confusion written all over his face.
« Are you saying I’m lying ? » He asked with surprise.
« I don’t think you’re capable of lying, Steve »
« Then what do you mean ? »
« … I know you. Probably more than you know yourself at this point. » She started, her hand slowly stroking his « You’re a soldier, a super soldier. You leave to right the wrong, to fight for the people, to speak for them. You are brave, braver than anybody I’ve ever met, and this bravery will always lead you to a battlefield, not to me »
« That’s not true » He quickly replied.
She simply smiled, caressing his cheek with the back of her hand.
« You’re a hero for those people, and they need you now »
« I’m not sure I’m anyone’s hero anymore, Y/N »
« Well at least you can be sure you’ll always be mine »
Watching her closely, he knew she was dead serious. She had always believed in him, sometimes even more than he believed in himself.
« I thought you liked superman » He joked. « Wasn’t you that suggested I should wear a cap like him? »
She planted herself in front of him, firmly, taking his face between her hands and forcing him to look at her eyes before she spoke.
« Not all heroes wear capes, Steve » She whispered, almost like it was a secret. « But they all share one thing in commun »
« Bravery ? » He joked with a small smile.
« Stupidity »
He chuckled, not expecting that answer.
« What is that suppose to mean ? »
« It means you’re not unbreakable. » She muttered. « It means there will be that one final fight, the one you don’t come back from, because whatever happens on the battlefield, you’ll always think of saving people before saving yourself. One day you won’t make it home and I’ll know one of them is alive because you’re dead. »
« Y/N … »
She pursed her lips, trying to hold back a sob.
« You need to hear this before you leave, Steve » She started, her forehead against his, both of their eyes closed. « I love you, with all my heart. That won’t change, ever. You are the best part of me. So when they’ll try to tear you down, think of me, and remember someone is waiting for you home. »
« I will » He promised
He gently leaned in and pulled her into a fiery and passionate kiss. Her hands work their way around his neck, his around her waist. It was slow and soft, as comforting as words would never be. His thumb caressed her cheek as he took a step back. She ran her fingers down his spine, making his shiver. His eyes closed, he swore he’d always remember this moment. He pulled her close, until there was no space left between them and she could feel the beating of his heart against her chest. For a while, not a words were spoken between them, but a story worthy of them was communicated.
« I’m coming home, Y/N » He forcefully answered.
« I know you’ll do your best. I’m gonna miss you, Captain »
« Not as much as I’ll miss you » He smiled.
She dropped her head on his chest, her ear against his heart, the simple sound of it enough to comfort her.
« When I’ll come back, I’ll ask you to marry me » He confessed.
She giggled.
« Aren’t you suppose to keep that a secret until you propose ? »
« I figured conventional was not made for us »
« Then you should probably know I’ll say yes when you’ll ask, so you better make sure you stay alive and in one piece, Captain »
A tear rolled down her cheek when she felt his belly tremble with his laugh. Oh how she would missed this.
« Is that an order ? » He lightly joked.
« Is it » She seriously answered, raising her head to look at him. « Come back to me, Steve »
Taking a deep breath, he inhaled her scent before he’d have to leave. His thumb gently brushed the tears as he planted his lips on her forehead.
« You know I always will » He muttered, kissing her. « I love you, Y/N »
Her eyes closed, all she could feel was the thick air around her. Though her mind called out for his, he was gone, and finally she knew that time to be alone had come. Standing on the balcony, she kept watching the sky, almost expecting to see a sign he was still here. Profound sadness is all she felt, fatigue engraved on her worn out face after the events of the last couple of days.
« I knew I’d found you here » She heard a voice behind her.
She didn’t turn around. She didn’t want to hide her pain, it was useless. Everyone could see just how broken she was
« Hey, Buck’ » She simply answered.
She heard him coming closer, felt his cold metal hand on her shoulder. He didn’t need to say anything. What she felt, he felt it twice as hard. Her mind was numb, empty. She couldn’t concentrate on anything. Where there was once his love, his light, his laugh, was now an aching hollowness.
« I miss him too » The soldier whispered.
She closed her eyes, the tears unwillingly flowing. She could almost picture him, only days ago, standing next to her on this very balcony. Telling her how much he loved her.
« It’s so unfair, Buck »
« I know »
« We were supposed to have more time » She muttered. « He was supposed to come home »
« He fought his way home to you, Y/N. You can be damn sure he tried his best »
She sighed.
« I shouldn’t have let him go » She admitted. « As selfish as it sound, the world could have burnt if it meant for him to stay alive »
« You don’t mean that »
She turned to look at him.
« Why ? Why did it have to be him ? »
« You know why, you know what happened » He answered. « Half of the Avengers in that room behind us wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Steve »
She closed her eyes, turning back to look at the sky.
« I know it hurts, Y/N » He brokenly whispered. « I’ve lost him twice now. But there was no stopping him »
« I knew this would happened » She confessed. « Something was off, I could feel it »
« Nobody could have prevented this »
« My own damn fault for falling in love with Captain America »
She abruptly stood straight
« He was stupid. I told him, all of you superheroes are fools, thinking you can fight without taking a hit. Look where that got us, he’s dead Bucky » Her lips trembled. « Steve is …. he’s dead »
Her sadness was a flowing river, cold and unending. It washed all the goodness out of her and left her a mere shell of what she had once been with him. Bucky didn’t hesitate a second and took his friend in his arms. Wrapping his metal arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer, gently rubbing her arm. She sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. They were both hurting, they both needed this, needed each other to be able to grief. His arms squeezed harder when he felt her tears on his shoulder.
« He loved you, Y/N. So much »
« How am I suppose to live without him ? » She whispered.
« I’m asking myself the same question. We’ve both lost a part of our family »
He took a step back to look at her.
« But we are gonna get though this. You and me, doll. I’ve got your back »
« I’m sorry you lost him again, Bucky »
The look of sheer pain on his face was enough to break her heart all over again.
« I was lucky enough to find him after 70 years, I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of him » He stated, more to comfort himself than his friend.
She hummed in response, her head turning back to the empty casket full of ashes in the middle of the room.
« Captain America celebration, huh ? » She said, reading the big sign one of the Avenger had placed.
« Tony’s idea. Seemed more fitting than a funeral »
She could see them, all the Avengers, all sitting in that room filled of heavy silence.
« Can you see ? » Bucky asked. « The Avengers started with him, that small punk from Brooklyn wanting to save the world. He showed us what it was like to care, to fight for something you believe in. He opened the way to the other heroes. Can you see, Y/N, that without him, there wouldn’t be anyone in this room ? We exist because a skinny kid believed he could change an entire system. And he did »
« Captain America’s legacy » She answered.
« We are his legacy. He will never be dead, not really. Everything he did for this world, we cary with us. And which each enemy we’ll face in the future, we will keep in head that the first Avenger that led that fight was Captain America and we owe it to him to protect and lead by heart, the way he led us to victory when he gave up his life. This was his endgame, not ours »
« You will make a terrific Captain, Bucky »
« I had a terrific example » He smiled.
Taking a closer look inside the room, she could see just how much he was right. Every soul in there had been touch by Steve Rogers. They had been more than teammates, he had created a family, and despite past differences and new arrivals, she knew the Avengers would cary his soul. She had lost him, but what a lucky ride it was by his side.
« To Steve Rogers » She murmured, raising her glass.
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything, since I wrote anything to be honest Every time I say I’ll do a challenge, or a request, all I’m hoping is that I’ll have the courage to write again, to enjoy doing it again. The excuse I’ve given you is that I’m a student and university takes most of my time. While that’s partially true, there’s also another issue that I’ve tried to ignore. Maybe you’ve read one of my Charles Xavier’s request, Pocrescophobia. If so, you know what I’m going to say. The reason I’m not writing anymore is because I’m sick. Mentally sick. Which is still hard to admit if you ask me. I’ve created a whole world made of numbers, disgust and self-hatred. My doctor call it anorexia, I just call it hell. I’m sorry I’ve not been present, I’m sorry I’ve stopped writing. A lot of you send me messages to know when I’ll be back, and the answer is I don’t know. “Recovery” is awfully painful but I promise I’ll be back with more stories, I just don’t know when.
Summary:Things with Steve have been going great, but what happens when you start to feel like you’re not a priority?
Word Count: 1921
Warnings:Just some angst, little bit of language.
A/N:Okay, I’m really proud of this. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to crank out something that wasn’t one hundred percent fluffy, but I did it. Let me know if you liked it!! Also, letting @whiskeyandwashitape&@thelostswan this exists!!
Not my gif, credit to the owner.
This was getting ridiculous.
So far, in your opinion, at least, you’d been a very supportive, easy-going girlfriend. It had been a little over two months with Steve, and you really were falling for him. You loved the way the corners of his mouth flickered upward when you said something stupid, and his dumb, old-fashioned jokes. You loved how the longer you looked into those deep, oceanic eyes, the more lost you got. You loved how he did things just for the sake of being good. And you knew that dating a super soldier was going to be complicated- and it wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t help it that terrorists and aliens and bad men existed and that it fell on his shoulders to take care of it.
That one night - that date at your house that had ended with the two of you sleeping on your couch - had been wonderful. But since then, no date between you and Steve had ever really ended.He would get a phone call or a text or something, and just give you that look, like, I don’t want to go but I have to. And you would insist that everything was fine, that you understood that he had a job to do.
You finally cracked one night when he took you to a carnival. It had been lots of fun - he wore sunglasses and a hat so he wouldn’t get recognized, and won you this cute little red, white, and blue teddy bear. You split a churro with him, and he kissed you at the top of the Ferris wheel. It was very sweet, very When-Harry-Met-Sally-Sleepless-In-Seattle-Rom-Com cute.
You were walking hand-in-hand with him, towards the cotton candy booth, when it happened. His phone beeped, and he glanced down at it. You’d grown accustomed to silently praying every time he looked at his phone - praying that it wasn’t SHIELD or Nick Fury or someone in danger. And he gave you that look, lips slightly pursed and eyebrows knitted in a frustrated kind of way. “I’m sorry, Doll. Duty calls,” he said, shoving his phone back into his pocket and releasing your hand from his.
“Yeah, whatever,” you muttered, running a hand through your hair.
Steve looked slightly taken aback. Usually you were understanding, and you said you weren’t upset and he had to do what he had to do. But this was the second time this week this had happened, and what felt like the millionth time since you’d started dating him. You couldn’t help but be irritated.
“Y/N,” he sighed, looking at you. “I can’t not go. I have to go.”
“I know,” you snapped, rolling your eyes. “Believe me, I know.”
“Don’t be mad,” He said, eyes fluttering towards the exit. “Please, don’t be mad. I’ll… I’ll call you when we’re done, okay?”
“Whatever, fine,” you said, turning your back to him. And when you turned around again, he was gone.
Three days passed until you heard from Steve again.
It was four in the morning, and you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. Disoriented, and partly blindly since you didn’t have your contacts in, you pulled the charger out and looked at the screen. It was Steve, calling you. What the hell?
You answered it with a hoarse and slightly incoherent, “Hello?”
“Hey, Y/N,” Steve’s voice relieved you. You often went a few days without hearing from him when he went on missions, but you couldn’t help but worry about him. “I just wanted to let you know that we’re all alright. I’m on a plane right now, heading back.”
You slowly sat up, and reached over to turn on your bedside lamp. Even though you were kind of angry at him, you were happy he was alright. “Well, that’s good,” you said with a yawn, leaning against the headboard.
“Oh, god. Did I wake you up?” Steve asked.
“Well, yeah, it’s…” you lifted the phone from your ear to check the time, “It’s 4:17 here, but, I mean…” You rubbed at your eyes. “It’s fine. I’m glad you’re alright.”
“Yeah, me too. So, look, about the other night-”
“You know what, Steve? Just forget about it, okay?” You said, crossing your legs Indian style and pulling a blanket closer to you.
“No, I can’t forget about it, Y/N. You’re unhappy, and I want to fix it.”
“You can’t fix it,” You said, shaking your head. “And honestly, I’m too tired to even talk about it, alright?” This was the first time you’d ever been mad at him, and you didn’t want to deal with it.
“Okay,” he said, sounding defeated and submissive. You hated that he sounded like that. You hated that you were the reason why. “Well, do you want to go back to sleep? I’ll let you go if you want.”
“Actually, yeah,” you said, sighing. “I have a big day at work tomorrow- buy one, get one half-off on heels. Gonna be packed.” You yawned again.
“When do you get off?” He asked, a hint of sadness in his voice. He hated you being mad at him almost as much as you did.
“Six. Come over anytime after that, if you can, alright?”
“Okay. Get some sleep, Doll.”
“I’ll try. Bye, Steve.”
You didn’t sleep.
Work that day was awful, and not just because of the sale and all the people. You couldn’t stop thinking about Steve, and about all the times he’d ditched you to go be a superhero. Your head was in the wrong place, and you couldn’t focus on anything. You even knocked over a display of shoes that one of your subordinates had spent a whole hour putting together.
You were drained, and over it all by the end of your shift. You just wanted to go home and shower and sleep for three days.
When you opened the door to your apartment, you saw Steve sitting on the couch, reading a book. You had given him a key in case of emergencies. You let a lazy, exhausted smile rise to your face. “Hey,” you said quietly, shutting the door and locking it behind you. It was hard to remember that you were mad at him when you missed him so much.
He shut his book and looked at you, that goofy grin on his face. “Hey, Doll,” he said, standing up and walking over to you. He looked cautious, like you were a ticking time bomb. You shook your head and took a step towards him, giving a long, well-needed hug.
“I missed you,” you sighed, dropping your bag at your feet and burying your head in his chest. “I was worried about you.”
He stroked your hair for a moment, and you just stood there, breathing each other in. He smelled like Old Spice.
“I missed you, too, Y/N.”
Finally, you pulled away, and took in a deep breath. Your heart hurt without him, but it didn’t change the fact that you didn’t feel like a priority in his life.
You crossed the room and sat on the couch, feeling relieved to finally be off your feet for the day. Steve sat on the opposite end of the couch from you, leaning against the armrest.
“Can we talk now, Y/N?” He asked, turning to look at you. You crossed your legs, leaning back against the couch.
You sighed. “Yeah,” you said, already wishing this conversation was over.
Steve took in a deep breath, and ran a hand through his hair. “Do you… do you want to break up with me?” he asked, quietly, scared. Like a kid. Fuck, you thought.
“No!” you exclaimed, eyes widening. You grabbed his hand across the couch. “God, no, I don’t want to break up with you. I-I… I’m just…” You groaned, and ran your free hand over your face. “I’m just irritated, because I feel like I’m not a priority, and I know there’s nothing you can do about it. You have a job to do and you have to do, and I feel soguilty about being mad at you for it, but I am, y’know? And maybe I’m not even mad at you. Maybe you’re just the only person I can take it out on.”
“You can be mad at me,” said Steve, pulling his hand away from yours and tangling them in his hair. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be mad at me. It’s healthy for couples to argue - I read that somewhere, I think.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to be mad at you, Steve,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “I don’t get very much time with you when you’re around, and I don’t want to spend it fighting with you, y’know?”
He nodded. “I’m sorry I’m never around, Y/N,” he said, sighing and looking over at you. “But you know I have to-”
“I know,” you cut him off, standing up and walking into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “I know. I’ve heard the speech a million times, Steve. You have to protect the people. You have to do what’s right. And I know you can’t, but I wish you could just blow it off sometimes, and no one had to die or anything for you to be able to spend some time with me.”
He followed you into the kitchen and leaned against the doorway as you scoured leftovers for something that seemed appetizing. “Are you ever going to be okay with this?” he asked as you settled on the rest of the sesame chicken you’d had yesterday.
You opened the lid of the Tupperware container and put it in the microwave for forty-five seconds. “I don’t know, Steve. I guess I saw this coming in, and I figured I would just get used to it. But it’s hard, you know? Like, I drop everything for you when you’re in town, and I just feel like I’m the only one trying sometimes.”
“There’s nothing I can do about that, Y/N-”
“I know!” you exclaimed, groaning out of frustration. “God, I know, Steve! You’ve been telling me the same things for the past two months- it’s like you have a script memorized for when you have to leave. And I feel so bad for being angry at you for it, but I am. I’m angry, okay?” The microwave dinged, but you made no move to open it.
“So, what, then?” He asked, irritated, crossing his arms over his chest. You took a sip of your water. “Do you want to call it quits or something?”
“I don’t know,” you sighed, sinking to the floor and leaning against a cabinet, rattling the door with your weight. “I…God. It’s impossible for me not to be happy with you. And we have such a good time together. But I can’t decide if…” you trailed off, deciding not to say it.
“You can’t decide if it’s worth it.” He finished for you, and you looked up at him, nodding slowly in response.
He shook his head. “How about we take a break then?” He said, and your eyes widened. “It makes me sad thinking about not talking to you, but I think you just need some time to think. We both do.” You said nothing. “Call me when you can decide, okay, Y/N?” You just stared at him.
And then he was gone. This time he wasn’t coming back.
Summary:Your second date with Steve doesn’t go exactly according to plan.
Word Count: 1302
Warnings:A bit of Steve-disapproved language, and lots o’ fluff.
A/N:I was so happy to see how many likes and reblogs part 1 got! Thanks to everyone who is reading this! Let me know if you actually want a part 3 to this or something different. Make requests, give me prompts. Gif is not mine– credit to the owner.
“Motherfucker!”
You looked at your hand, which was bright red from where you’d just burned it on the frying pan. Immediately, you dashed over to the sink and ran it under cool water, letting out a heavy sigh of relief. It was a small burn- nothing a little Neosporin and a bandage couldn’t fix.
It was probably a good thing Steve hadn’t arrived yet. Get all your ‘Motherfuckers’ out now, you reminded yourself.
This was your second date- you, cooking dinner for him, at your apartment. The first date had been dinner and a movie- well, dinner and half of a movie. Steve had gotten a call to go to work in the middle of it, and had to leave you all by yourself in that theater. And you were slightly irritated, yeah, but at the same time, you understood that ‘work’ for him was saving the planet from an alien invasion or rescuing hostages from a pirate-raided aircraft carrier. So you just reminded yourself that he wouldn’t leave unless it was important.
You were making him homemade pizza, an easy recipe you had learned from your mom while growing up. After patching up your burn, you turned your attention back to the pizza. You had the crust just slightly baked already, and now it was time to top it. Shit, you thought, scratching your head inquisitively. What does he like on pizza?
You glanced at the clock- there was about fifteen minutes before he was supposed to arrive. You thought of all the possible toppings you had in your fridge, and just decided he could pick what he wanted. So you grabbed the spinach and the peppers and olives, pepperoni, ham, cheese, and pizza sauce all out of the refrigerator, and assembled them on the table next to the partially-baked crust. Realizing you still looked like garbage, you rushed into your room, ripping off your sweats and changing into a pair of jeans, and a not-covered-in-flour t-shirt. You double checked your hair, and applied light makeup just to cover a few blemishes.
Then you buzzed around the living room, straightening out the throw pillows on the couch and the magazines on the coffee table. You wanted things to look nice, and who could blame you? A superhero was coming over.
After making sure everything was all straightened out- and almost exactly on time- there was a knock at the door. You took in a deep breath, walked over to the door, and opened it. “Hey!” You said, maybe sounding a little too excited.
On the other side of the door, there was Steve. He was so cute. He had on a plaid shirt tucked in to his slacks. Everything was so clean-cut and adorable.
“Hello,” he chuckled, and you stepped aside to let him in. “Wow, it smells really good in here.” You shut the door and smiled. “What are you making again?”
“Pizza,” you replied, making your way into the kitchen. He followed you. “And I realized I never asked what you liked on pizza, so I just thought we could top it together,” you leaned against the table in the kitchen, presenting your topping station.
Steve smiled slowly, and your heart fluttered. You’d definitely gotten more comfortable around him since your first, and second, meetings. However, he still made you feel nervous, but in a really good way. Like you were constantly on a hot-air balloon ten-thousand feet in the air.
“I’ve never actually made pizza before,” he admitted.
“First time for everything, then, I guess?”
You’d let him pick the music, and of course he’d decided on some old-school, smooth jazz. The pizza was in the oven- topped with literally everything you’d put on the table- and now the two of you were sitting on the couch, just talking and waiting for the timer to go off.
“I feel like I’m in an elevator,” you laughed as a saxophone solo ended.
Steve laughed, shaking his head. “You can change it,” he said, glancing over at the speaker.
“No, I like it. It’s nice.”
You listened to the music- it was kind of relaxing and you could definitely see this lulling you to sleep.
“Did you have to work today?” Steve asked, and you shook your head.
“No, I get Saturdays off. Did…” You trailed off.
“What?” he asked, poking you in the leg.
“Nothing,” you said, shaking your head lightly.
“No, you were going to say something. What?” he asked again.
You shook your head again. “Well, I was just going to ask if you worked today. But I figured you probably couldn’t tell me.”
Steve knitted his brows together, and sighed. “I mean, yeah, you’re right. But I can tell you some things, I think. As long as you swear not to tell anyone.”
“I swear,” You said, and held up your pinky for good measure. He linked pinkies with you, smiling goofily, and you swore.
“We had an intense training today- the Avengers,” Steve said. You nodded. “Just a lot of working out and throwing things- nothing crazy.”
“Right, right, nothing crazy,” You deadpanned, rolling your eyes playfully. “Probably just, you know, tossing train cars in the air and catching them, and shooting off high-tech bazooka guns.”
Steve laughed. “I think you would be pleasantly surprised with what we actuallydo to train.”
“Then I’ll just keep my version of it,” you said.
“I thought I set the timer for twenty minutes!” You exclaimed, frustrated, as you held a burned pizza in your oven-mitt-covered hands. Sighing, you set the pan down on the stove and crossed your arms over your chest.
“It’s alright, Y/N,” Steve said, leaning against the counter.
“No,” you huffed, looking at the settings on the oven. “It’s not- I’ve made this pizza dough a billion times. I need to know what went wrong.”
“And they say I’m dramatic,” Steve muttered, and you glared at him. “Woah, sorry,” he said, his eyes widening slightly. “Scary Y/N.”
You stuck out your tongue playfully before looking at the oven again. After some ‘intense’ investigating, you realized that the temperature of the oven was wrong. Instead of 350 degrees, you had somehow set it to 450.
“Dammit,” you murmured, sighing heavily. You looked over at Steve, realizing that pizza-induced anger was probably not super attractive to him. “Sorry,” you said, a disappointed tone present in your voice. “I just wanted tonight to be special, and I wanted to impress you, and cook for you, and have a nice dinner.”
He shook his head, taking a step forward. “Tonight already was special,” he said, reaching down and grabbing your hand. A million fireworks lit off- this was the first time he’d held your hand before. “You don’t need to try to impress me, Y/N,” he said, smiling down at you. “I really, really like spending time with you, homemade pizza or not.”
His hand was like twice as big as yours as he interlocked your fingers, and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Your bodies were so close- you’d not been this into someone in a long time. The jazz was playing in the other room, and it didn’t matter that your whole apartment smelled like burned pizza. Everything was alright, and you felt safe here, one hand locked onto Steve’s, the other wrapped around his torso. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let him take care of you, so long as you could take care of him from time to time.
You ended up ordering Dominoes’ and cuddling on the couch, your head against his chest and his arm around your shoulders. He didn’t have to leave halfway through, which was nice, and you fell asleep on his chest, the sounds of jazz and his big, strong heartbeat lulling you to sleep.
Summary:The Star Spangled Man with a Plan wakes up with a nightmare, and it’s up to you to comfort him.
Word Count: 993
Warnings:Angst.
A/N:Not my gif! Make requests for me, and tell me if this was good or nah. I thrive off of praise basically.
You know how sometimes people need a fan to be able to sleep? Well, for you, it was Steve Rogers’ heartbeat. It was something that you’d grown used to having lull you to sleep, and without it, you just couldn’t fall asleep. Ever since Steve had moved in a few months ago, it had become a staple for him to be next to you. You just weren’t comfortable enough without his big, strong arms around you and his heart beating so steady and bringing you to that place of relaxation. This whole relationship with Steve, you had mostly needed him more than he needed you. You accepted that. It was fine.
—————–
He was shivering. You slowly woke up to find Steve shivering in his spot, still asleep, even though he had two blankets on. How could he possibly be cold? You were slightly disoriented as you turned your head to look at the alarm clock. It was one in the morning. With a small sigh, you moved your body closer to Steve’s and pressed against him, hoping he would warm up. But he kept shivering, and not long after that, he started mumbling things. Talking in his sleep? He never did that. Steve was the soundest sleeper you had ever witnessed. You looked at his lips in the darkness, and tried to make out some of the words he was saying. Most of it was incoherent, what Steve was saying. But you managed to make out one word- a name. Bucky. Bucky. Why was Steve dreaming about Bucky? Shivering, and… and talking in his sleep? You didn’t know whether to wake him up or not, but his face was so pained, you definitely felt like you should.
You were about to gently wake him up, but then Steve did it himself. He shot up from his position, sitting up in the bed, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. He groaned painfully, and, panting, looked around the room as if he couldn’t remember where he was. “(Y/N)?” He said, looking at you.
You sat up, reached over, and flicked on the lamp. “Steve?” you said softly, inching towards him, worried. “Steve, I’m right here. Are you okay?” Your voice was hoarse from having just woken up.
Steve turned to look at you. His cheeks were red and sweat covered his face like a blanket. His breathing was heavy, like he’d just run across the whole world. He had an expression on his face you’d never seen before- fear? Was he afraid? Steve? He didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked at you, and around the room, almost as if he was trying to convince himself that this was real, and that whatever had been going on in that dream was over.
“Are you alright, Steve?” you asked him again, reaching over to grab his hand. He pulled away instinctively, looking like an abandoned dog. You furrowed your brow slightly and unraveled yourself from the blankets. “Come on, babe, let’s get you some water or something.” You slid on your slippers and opened the bedroom door.
Steve just shook his head, appearing to be back with you. “I’m fine, (Y/N).” He said, running a hand through his hair, and taking a deep, shaky breath. You stood in the doorway with a hand on your hip. “Really,” he insisted, nodding in confirmation. “I’m fine. Let’s… let’s go back to sleep.”
“You don’t have to be prideful with me, Steve,” you said, flipping on the main light of the bedroom. “I’m not going to respect you any less if you tell me what just happened. Clearly you had a nightmare or something. Why can’t you just tell me what it was?”
“It was nothing, (Y/N),” Steve said, his voice more persistent, and taking on a slightly irritated tone. “God, will you just give it a rest and come back to sleep with me?”
Rolling your eyes, and knowing you weren’t going to get anywhere, you shut off the light and stormed back into the bed. Steve turned with his back to you, and it took a while for you to fall asleep.
–
A few hours later you woke up to the sounds of Steve screaming. Your eyes shot open to see the blond man sitting up in bed, clutching his pillow like it was a lifeline. He was sweating again, the same scared-shitless look on his face.
“Steve,” you said, slowly sitting up against the headboard. “Babe, are you alright?”
“It was Bucky,” he said quietly, his voice shaky and scared. “I-it was Bucky. H-he kept falling off of that train, just over and… and over again. I couldn’t save him, and I couldn’t save Peggy. I couldn’t even… I couldn’t even save myself.” His voice cracked, and he buried his face in his hands. You scooted closer to him on the bed, and wrapped your arms around his bare shoulders.
“Shh,” you whispered, pulling him close to you, so that his head lay on your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead a few times. “It’s over now, Steve.” You said quietly, knowing there was nothing you could do to take those awful World War II memories out of his head. He softly started crying into your chest, and you couldn’t help but cry with him- silent tears as he softly sobbed into your nightshirt.
“There’s nothing more you could have done, baby,” you said to him, tears streaming down your face as you tried to imagine the kind of pain he went through. “But it’s all over now, okay? It’s done. The past is gone.”
Eventually he fell asleep again, but you didn’t. Thinking about how much pain all this caused the love of your life made you incredibly, deeply sad, and you just couldn’t sleep with those kinds of thoughts in your head, even if Steve’s heartbeat was right there.
Summary:You have been in a relationship with Steve for a while, and are reminiscing one of your favorite memories with him.
Word Count: 1558
Warnings: None. This is fluffy fluff fluff.
A/N:I hope you guys like my first imagine! Be sure to let me know what you thought of it. I know it’s kind of cheesy and corny and fluffy-poo, but I haven’t written in a while and I needed a warm-up piece, y’know? Well, anyway, I’m open to requests if you have any! Not my gif btw
You stood in the kitchen, your hair haphazardly pulled up in the sloppiest of messy buns. You were at the sink, rinsing some green beans for dinner. Music filled the room, from the tiny little Bluetooth speaker in the corner. It was Frank Sinatra, Steve’s favorite. You weren’t much into jazz until you met Steve, and he started playing it for you. Now it was almost all you listened to. You hummed along quietly, smiling as you remembered the first time Steve played this song for you.
———-
“Now, I know you said you don’t like jazz, but I really think you’re going to like this song.” he said, this excited grin present on his face. The two of you sat in his car, an old red convertible, in the parking lot of the restaurant you at which you just ate. The top was down, the sky was dark and clear, and your stomach was happily full of Italian food.
“If you say so,” you teased lightly, brushing some loose hair behind your ear. “But if I don’t like it, don’t be too disappointed.”
Steve just looked at you and shook his head. “You’re going to like it,” he said, determined, and pressed the play button. Soon the sounds of horns and strings filled the car, and Steve pulled out onto the street. The song, ‘April in Paris’, was beautiful, and you smiled as you listened to it. It was surprising, really, how much you liked it. You stared straight ahead, focusing on the music, but you could tell Steve was glancing over at you every few seconds to gauge whether or not you liked it.
Halfway through the song, you looked over at him and grinned. “I like it,” you said, and his face lit up like a dog getting a treat.
You started to say something else, but Steve reached over and covered your mouth with his hand. “Wait!” he cut you off as the sound of the horns slowly died. “This is the best part.” Within a moment, the horns and strings swelled back up, and Frank Sinatra’s voice rang out like church bells.
You glanced down at Steve’s hand, which was still over your mouth, and pushed it away. You stayed silent for the rest of the song, listening and thinking about this night- it was your fourth date with Steve, and you really, really liked him. He was sweet, and chivalrous, and old-fashioned, which was just adorable. And he was hot as hell, which was a nice bonus. You knew that dating a superhero would be complicated, but when it was all said and done, wasn’t every relationship at least a little complicated? You wanted to try and make it work with Steve, and it really seemed like he liked you as much as you liked him.
The song ended shortly after that, and you reached over and turned the volume down a little on the radio. “Where are we going now?” you asked, looking over at the broad-shouldered blond in the driver’s seat.
“To my favorite spot in the whole city,” Steve said, glancing over at you with this gleam in his eyes you had never seen before. Maybe it was the streetlights reflecting off of their baby blue tint, or maybe it was the stars, but you had never noticed just how beautiful his eyes were.
He drove you to the World War II Memorial, and you smiled softly as he parked the car. Of course this would be his favorite spot in the city. He opened your door for you and you walked together to the memorial. The moonlight reflecting off the water and the sounds of the fountains were calming.The World War II Memorial was right in between the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument, so you felt a sense of patriotism as you and Steve walked together. You didn’t say much to him as you walked around the memorial together, but instead listened as he explained the symbolism of all the arches and the pillars, the water and the lights, and told you all the facts about this memorial he could spew off the top of his head. He didn’t seem terribly overrun with grief as he talked about World War II, but there was definitely a glimmer of sadness in his tone. You couldn’t imagine how hard it all must have been for him. You slowly reached over and grabbed his hand as you passed Indiana’s pillar, not saying anything as you pressed your two palms together and interlaced your fingers. He looked down at you and smiled.
“God, there’s just… there’s something about you, (Y/N),” he said to you, stopped and turning to face you.
Your lips quirked up into a small smile, and he took a step closer to you. “I don’t know what it is,” Steve continued, releasing your hand so he could wrap his arms around your waist. “But I’m gonna find out.” You looked into his big, blue, Star-Spangled eyes, and you knew what was about to happen next.
Your heart was racing as he leaned in, and your eyes fluttered shut as you stood on your toes, pursing your lips. That song, ‘April in Paris’, started playing in your head, that part that Steve had loved so much. Your lips were just about to touch, barely centimeters away, and-
“Daddy, look, it’s Captain America!”
A small voice interrupted your thoughts, and Steve’s actions, and you turned to see a young boy and his father jogging towards you and Steve. ‘Shit,’ you thought to yourself. ‘Moment’s over. Kiss it goodbye.’
Steve stepped away from you and wiped his hands against his pants, smiling at the little boy, who couldn’t be more than six or seven. “Gee, I’m sorry, Mr. Rogers. But my son here is a big fan of yours- could we trouble you for an picture?” The father asked, eyes darting between Steve and you.
“Of course he can,” Steve grinned, squatting down so that the little boy was just barely taller than him. “What’s your name, little guy?”
“Bryce!” Said the young boy, grinning at his hero.
“Do you want to climb on my shoulders, Bryce?”
“Yeah!”
You laughed slightly, stepping off to the side so that Bryce’s father could snap a picture with his phone. After a few minutes of taking some pictures and small talk, Bryce and his father were soon on their way, and Steve looked at you. His expression was apologetic, and you could tell he was about to say he was sorry. “Hey, look, (Y/N), I’m real-”
“Don’t be,” you shrugged it off, reaching over and grabbing his hand. “I thought it was sweet how you let them ruin our moment,” you teased, placing his hand back on your waist. Steve’s cheeks turned pink and you stood on your toes once again, assuming the position. “Now, where were we?”
Steve chuckled and pulled you closer, lifting you up off the ground just slightly. His lips soon touched yours, and it was like a thousand fireworks lit off. It was a sweet, slow, lazy kiss, and you loved it. That was night you realized you could definitely see yourself falling in love with this goofy, old-fashioned, all-American hero.
———
“Those green beans aren’t going to rinse themselves, Doll.”
“Shit!” You jumped, turning around to see Steve in the doorway of the kitchen. Your eyes grew wide, and your cheeks turned pink when he started laughing at you. “That’s not funny,” you pouted, tossing a green bean at him. “You scared me.”
Steve was still chuckling. He crossed the kitchen and wrapped one arm around your waist, holding you so that your hip was touching his. “What were you thinking about?” he asked, tucking some hair behind your ear and pressing a loving kiss to your forehead.
“Nothing,” you said spitefully, sticking your tongue out before walking over to the stove and turning it on.
“Aw, come on, bug,” he cooed, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. “It must have been pretty important to take your attention away from the beans like that.” You turned your head so that you could look at him and blew a raspberry in his face. “Now, there’s no need to be feisty,” Steve teased, burying his head in the crook of your neck.
You stirred the soup on the stovetop, trying your best to ignore him and his incessant, loving touches and kisses. “Oh, come on. I’m sorry I scared you, (Y/N). Now talk to me! I haven’t seen you in a week. What’s been on that pretty mind of yours?”
You turned so that you were facing him, and his hands were now on your lower back. “I was just thinking about you, and your stupid haircut.” You teased, smirking as you reached up and ruffled his blond locks.
He rolled his eyes, and leaned down to kiss you. “You’re a whack job sometimes, you know that?”
“I know,” you said proudly, reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck. “But I’m your whack job.”
Another Sinatra song came on through the speaker, and Steve pulled you away from the stove so that your body was touching his. He swayed with you to the song, singing softly in your ear. “Fly me to the moon…”
\ * magic city | it’s friday night at magic city. the drinks are flowing, the smell of money is in the air, and the man you never thought you’d see again just paid for a private dance. {challenge entry}
\ * sign on the line | you’re in town on business and need a little company {pretty woman au} {challenge entry}
\ * blue ocean floor | you and steve reconnect after a disastrous fall out. it doesn’t mean anything… until it does {mermaid au} {dceu/mcu crossover} {challenge entry}
Summary: Steve - Steve and Sam’s tenth anniversary is weeks away, but another trip to Paris isn’t exactly what Steve has in mind. While showing a prospective business associate a night on the town, Steve links eyes with a long haired stranger - a gets a brilliant idea.
Bucky - Its a normal night at work for Bucky - free drinks, loud music, drunk, horny men. He’s twenty bucks into a lap dance when he spots a new, handsome face, sparking his interest immediately. They link eyes, and boy, is Bucky a suckerfor blue eyes.
Sam - Sam? Sam’s just along for the ride(if you catch his drift).
Warnings: smut, stripping, shibari, anal sex, oral sex, no refractory period (the boys are doing it, and doing it, and doing it well), threesome, sex… a lot of sex
Status:COMPLETE
A/N: Here it is! This is my story for the Marvel Reverse Big Bang! This was inspired by the beautiful art of @heyboydraws below. You guys know I love a slutty Bucky Barnes and as SOON as I saw it, I knew it had to be mine!
Plot:You and Steve were together before the Accords but he left you without a goodbye. Overtime your heart started to heal. Though are you ready to let someone else in?
Summary: feeling insecure about your looks, Steve helps you to see what he sees.
You put away the last bit of the laundry. Life has been crazy this whole last week. The guys have been on mission after mission, meanwhile the aching pain in your side hasn’t subsided. Bruce, not to your delight, thinks you shouldn’t even be training. But you would go completely stir crazy laying in bed or on the couch all day.
What the boys know won’t hurt them. Besides, you want to try to stay in shape. Anytime you are under bed rest, you feel like your muscles turn to mush and your totally body fat sky rockets. Being insecure your whole life about your looks, you finally started to feel comfortable with all the cardio and weightlifting.
Especially around your friends from before becoming an Avenger. They all know you are a part of the team, your costume doesn’t exactly hide your identity. Neither did the fact that you blew up a baseball with your bare hands in college because it scared you. At a game the batter hit the ball into the crowd, it was coming for you, you threw your hands up in defense but never felt the ball hit your skin. Instead the ball fell to the ground in the small pieces that were left.
Fury found you shortly after. Explained to you that there are others, a team, a family that you could be a part of. You accepted the offer and never looked back. For once you felt like you belonged, but every once in a while some of your insecurities come flooding back.
“Hey gorgeous,” Steve’s deep voice creeps around your door frame. Joining your curled up body on your bed, Steve brushes your free hair behind your ear. “I have a surprise for you. I know you’ve been cooped up in this building for two weeks, so I brought your two friends from home.”
“Really?” You slowly sit up, griping your side. It feels like forever since you’ve seen them, and you’ve missed them desperately.
Steve nods his head with a smile. And before you know it, you leave Steve to smell the burning rubber from your rapid departure. Running through the pain, you make it to the corridor to see your long-term friends standing in awestruck wonder at the architecture.
“Oh my god! Christi! Abby!” You manage to apply your breaks just in time to keep from barreling the girls to the floor. Collecting your composure, you wrap each in an arm and offer a big group hug.
“Safe to say you like your surprise?” Steve appears by the stairs with a smug smirk.
Letting go of your girls, you race back toward Steve. Leaping into his arms, the pain doesn’t present itself until Steve’s arms securely wrap around you. Steve gets in a spin or two before putting you down. Kissing your temple, Steve apologizes for hurting you but you just shrug it off.
The girls and you end up in the art studio down the hall from your room. The movie Book Club plays in the background as the three of you attempt to paint while drinking your glasses of wine. Christi wants to know everything about the male Avengers. She is on the market for a boyfriend, and thinks a superhero will be a perfect match. However, Abby just wants to know about you and Steve.
“You two ARE dating right?” Abby takes a sip of her wine and wiggles the brows.
“We haven’t really put a title on it yet,” you can feel the warmth from the wine spread to your face. “We are definitely more than friends, but he has been so busy lately. Maybe once I’m back on the field we can talk about it.”
The girls tell you how impressed they were that Steve came to get them. They assumed when he got back from missions, the two of you would be inseparable. Honestly, they aren’t wrong but you also get your fair shared time with the others on the team. But that’s Steve, he is very big on personal space. It’s something you are very thankful for. Even though the two of you aren’t officially together it is easy to get lost in someone else and forget the world around you.
After painting, you move into the movie room. It is getting late, and you all are getting fairly tired. Sitting on the couch your gaze wanders to your thighs. In your peripheral you see the thin outline of your own friend’s thighs and notice how drastic the change is. You pretend not to notice the difference in body types between you and your friends.
Suddenly all insecurities from college and high school come flooding back. The fact that you were admiring your own body in the mirror just hours ago escapes you. Any feeling of accomplishment from your workouts, training, missions no longer exists. Not next to Christi and Abby.
You know it’s not their fault, and you’re not bitter toward them whatsoever. Christi eats a lot of junk but just so happens to be gifted with the perfect metabolism gene. Abby just does her own thing, no workouts and no dieting, but it works for her. You have always had more fat to you. Before becoming an Avenger, home workouts never did a thing and changing your diet did nothing as well. Since being here you have lost 20 lbs but you are still 10 – 15 lbs heavier than your friends next to you.
Agreeing on a childhood favorite, you grab a blanket and curl up in a ball. The more coverage you provide the greater the lie you can tell yourself of what lies beneath. The girls follow suit and the three of you talk and make comments about the movie until the three of you pass out.
Only a few hours later your body atomically wake up around 7:00 am. No matter the time you fall asleep, or the quality of sleep, your body always has a habit of waking you up early in the morning. The only other person in this building that I normally awake at this time is Steve. Though, after the rest he probably needed after the mission he is most likely still in bed.
You crawl off the couch carefully trying not to wake the girls. A searing pain ripples through your right side to your leg. Biting your lip helps keep your internal scream from moving up your throat. Shimmying the rest of the way out of the room, you head towards the locker room to start training.
“What do you think you are doing?” His surprisingly stern voice echoes through the training room as soon as you enter.
“STEVE! Seriously, one day you are going to give me a heart attack.”
Ignoring Steve’s original question, you make your way to the punching bag. You feel the need to build up your strength in your left arm. Perhaps if you get your strength back up the rest of the team may be convinced to let you back on the field early.
Hearing your fist hit leather, the sounds doesn’t over power the feeling of you skin shift. My body is ultimately made up of fat! I’m not even muscle, just fat and bone! Tears sting behind your eyes as the comments of from arrogant assholes from your past echo with each punch.
She’s easier to aim for, (Y/N)’s bigger than the others!
(Y/N) is a nice friend. I know she likes me, but you look more like my type.
As each voice filters through your ears each punch against the bag gets harder and harder. The sound radiates through the training center. Completely in a trance, you don’t notice Steve’s gaze on you as he approaches closer. Right before he gets too close you realize your leg muscles need a workout as well, and you take off towards the track.
“(Y/N)!” Steve shouts but the pain in your side is all you can focus on.
Wheezing, your arm wraps around your right side in attempt to console it. The pain radiates down the side of your body toward your leg once again. With each step you start to feel like jello.
The sound of your body hitting the ground registers before the additional pain does. Dazed and confused how you got there, you feel a presence next to you. They place both their hands on each side of your face and examine for any blood. You’d swat them away if it wasn’t for the sudden want of physical touch.
“Steve, do you think you’d prefer if I was skinnier?” Sleepiness invades your senses.
“What are you talking about?”
You don’t say anything else as Steve scoops you in his arms. All you do is point to your thighs and the little pudge on your stomach. Steve says nothing as he carries you to your room. All he does is place a soft kiss to the side of your head before laying you down on your bed covers.
“Where is this coming from?” Steve inquires, but you only shrug your shoulders. The both of you know that you do. Steve doesn’t press though, which you are thankful for.
“(Y/N), you’re brilliant. If it wasn’t for Stark or Banner you would easily be the smartest person I’ve ever known.” He soothingly brushes his fingers up and down your arms, luring you to sleep. “Outstandingly stunning. Though if we must talk specifically your body?”
Steve delays by gently pulling your body onto his. Resuming the touch of his fingers against your arm, you wait for him to continue. The butterflies in your stomach ache as much as your injury pain. Assuming the worst, you’re not sure if you really want to know or not.
“I assume this trip of insecurity is due to your friends being here.” No offensiveness rises within you. You’ve told Steve about this before. “No, you’re not as thin as them. But they’re not as fit as you are. I know you hate your thighs the most, but doll trust me they are mostly hard muscle. Of which I find way more attractive than being super skinny, but unable to effectively fight.”
“I’m sorry-,” you start before Steve cuts you off with a kiss.
“You don’t need to be sorry. I get it, and I love you.” And this time you kiss him.
Summary: Steve’s away and you can’t sleep. Neither can he but you both figure out something that will help.
Author’s Note: This is completely @tuiccim fault because she shared this delicious gif below and I couldn’t stop thinking about those abs all painted…well. Thank you my love! Hope you all enjoy! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by my sweet @firefly-graphics thanks so much lovely
Warnings: some cute soft fluff for a hot minute, mutual masturbation, cursing, light dirty talk, smut (18 + ONLY PLEASE!!!)
Gif NOT MINE: I do not know who made the first gif and if anyone does please let me know and I will properly credit and tysm to the lovely person that gifted us with this.
Here is the masterlist for all my fics thus far. There is a HELL OF A LOT here.WOW. As long as the inspiration keeps sparking, there will be additions. Stay tuned.
Thank you ALL for reading, liking, and reblogging. I appreciate the reception and the love more than you know. I was terrified doing this (STILL AM THE MAJORITY OF THE TIME) but y'all are so nice. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
NOTE: The update dates next to each celeb or character signifies when the recent chapter was posted.
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steve and y/n departed the following day at noon. she had spent the night in his arms, reveling in his warmth. his fingers had danced up and down her skin, long after she fell asleep. he lay awake in thought, wondering what had been plaguing her mind, before he was finally lulled into a dreamless sleep.
y/n had kept to herself the whole morning as she packed up their belongings. she put on a front while they were with his family, but a stifling silence settled over them once they hit the road. she leaned her head against the window. the morning had started off sunny but clouds had rolled in.
he didn’t know what to say to her, so he kept sneaking glances at her. her hair was pulled away from her face and the remnants of last night’s makeup was smudged under her eyes. periodically, she would yawn. “let me know if you want to stop for food or something,” he broke the silence, at last. she hummed back.
halfway through the journey, he had enough with the silence. he wanted an excuse to hear her voice. he yearned to be teased by her, to listen to her laugh, to hear her complain. he felt agitated, feeling as though he lost something and could not find it no matter where he looked. he took an off ramp and felt her gaze on him. “where are we going?” she asked.
“i want some coffee. do you?” he replied. his heart swelled. here was his chance to make conversation.
she pondered his question for a moment before answering, “yeah. i’m tired.”
“didn’t sleep good?” he felt anxiety blooming in his chest, as if he was in high school and speaking to his crush.
she shook her head. “no, did you?”
“no,” he briefly looked at her with a small close-lipped smile. his nervousness resolved into tranquility. they were finally talking.
“do you want me to drive?” she offered.
“i think i’ll be fine, doll,” he sighed, pulling into the drive-thru. “what’s your order?”
after ordering and receiving their drinks, the pair was back on the road. she took a taste of her coffee and hummed in satisfaction. “that’s really good.”
“yeah? can i try?” she passed it to him and watched his reaction carefully as he brought the cup to his pink lips. he nodded his head in approval. “i like it,” he handed it back.
“it’s only fair that i try yours,” she exchanged her drink for his, which was nestled in the cup holder between them.
“i haven’t even had it yet,” he chuckled.
“you snooze you lose, rogers.”
he smiled to himself. her usual countenance had returned and he was relieved.
after sampling it she told him, “mine is better.” she took another sip of his.
“then don’t drink all of mine!”
“hey, i never said it tasted bad.”
the silence returned, but this time it was comfortable. she stealthily would sip on his coffee, but he could see her do so out of the corner of his eye. he didn’t mind at all.
they were ten minutes away when steve finally worked up the courage to breach the silence and ask what he had wanted for the whole drive. “so,” he began but paused to clear his throat. his hand grew clammy and he switched them so that he could wipe it on his jeans. “you know how i feel about you, now. i mean what i said last night.”
she stiffened, bracing herself for what she knew what he was gonna say.
“do you feel the same way?”
she didn’t reply for a moment, fidgeting with her hands as she attempted to grasp for the words that evaded her. “oh i don’t know, steve. it was all just an act, you know,” she blurted. she knew instantly that she had said the worst thing she could’ve said.
“what?” his voice cracked with pain. his mind raced as he put together the pieces of their time together. she hadn’t explicitly stated her feelings for him but her actions dictated otherwise. “you kissed me.”
she swallows the lump in her throat. this was the hill she was going to die on. she firmly believed it was for the better as she could not fathom how she could ever be enough for him. she couldn’t stand to look at him and face the pain she was causing from her deception. her eyes were glued on the road ahead of them. they were almost at her apartment. “i was drunk. you know how i get,” her voice wavered but he didn’t catch it.
everything that he had done and said while in boston, had all been derived from his feelings toward her. deep down, he thought she had felt something towards him. he thought that they had an unspoken thing. his mouth opened and closed a few times as disbelief drew his mind a blank. “it didn’t mean anything to you?”
“other than some cash, no,” she winced as she lied, her hands balling into fists to keep them from shaking.
“and a date,” he spat. she spared a glance at him. he was gripping the wheel with two hands, knuckles white. his cheeks were rosy, and though his words dripped with venom, his expression betrayed his heartbreak.
“and a date,” she echoed. tears brimmed her eyes, feeling her heart twist and nausea brew in the pit of her stomach. she had honestly forgotten about the promised date with thor.
“good to fucking know,” he grumbled.
she didn’t respond. the silence was suffocating and y/n put all of her energy into not gasping for air. in the process of keeping him away from her, she had torn his heart in two and she couldn’t stand it. she wanted to scream but couldn’t fill her lungs with enough air.
he pulled up to the curb outside of her building and stormed out of the car. she gathered her belongings and stepped out. he took her suitcase out of the trunk and placed it in front of her, refusing to look at her. “steve-” she began as he walked back towards the car, but he cut her off.
“send me a venmo request.” he entered his car, peeled away from the curb, and left her.
she allowed the tears to finally fall down her face.
y/n awoke to soft snoring. her head was resting on steve’s bare chest, his arm protectively curled around her. she could hear his steady heartbeat. her head was throbbing and she groaned, snuggling further into him as a defense to the cool breeze coming in from the ajar window. she lifted her head when she realized that she was in her underwear. she glanced sleepily at her surroundings, pulled the covers up, and fell back asleep.
she woke up some time later with the need to use the bathroom. she looked up and admired steve’s peaceful countenance. his lips were slightly parted and his cheeks were rosy. she sat up and stretched, her back cracking. unbeknownst to her, he began stirring when she moved away from him. he missed her warmth. she pushed the covers off but before she could leave bed, he grabbed her waist, his grip surprisingly firm, and pulled her onto him.
“where are you going?” his voice was raspy and his words slurred together. his eyes were barely open.
“i have to pee.”
“last night-” he began but she interrupted him.
“let’s not talk about it,” she planted her hands on his chest and leaned forward, the ends of her hair tickling him, “let’s just let it happen. we’ll see where we go from here.”
his hooded eyes were drawn to her mouth as a lazy smile spread across his pink lips. “can i kiss you?” he hummed.
“your breath stinks,” she whispered.
“your breath is worse,” he whispered back.
“whatever, rogers,” she playfully slapped his chest before reluctantly leaving him. she slipped into the bathroom, did her business, and just before she began brushing her teeth, there was a knock on the door.
“who is it?”
“me,” she heard steve’s muffled voice from behind the door. she opened the door and looked at him expectantly with her hands on her hips.
“hi,” he had a childish smile on his face.
“hello, steven,” she replied. “may i help you?”
“can i brush my teeth?” he tilted his head to the side, resembling a puppy. she physically could not say no to him. her heart swooned. she stepped back and let him in. they began brushing their teeth, making eye contact in the mirror. he wrapped his arm around her shoulders while standing from behind and held her close to his body. he pulled his brush out of his mouth and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek. she squealed and pushed his face away.
they got dressed and headed downstairs to have breakfast. “good morning, dear,” sarah greeted steve as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. she stood at the island, cutting strawberries.
“mornin’, ma,” he mumbled back and retreated back to y/n’s side.
“how did you two sleep?” she glanced between them as she transferred the fruit from the cutting board to a serving bowl.
“good, thank you,” y/n offered a smile which was returned. she spotted a stack of plates on the counter and decided to set the table. she picked them up, but steve was quick to intervene.
“i can do it, doll,” he told her, gently taking them from her.
“i can do it, too,” she responded, reaching for them.
“you snooze, you lose,” he grinned, stepping back so the plates were just out of her grasp. she unsuccessfully suppressed a smile and shook her head.
breakfast went on without a hiccup. everyone returned upstairs to get ready. he got dressed in his room and she took her garment bag and makeup into sophia’s room, where they chatted as they prepared themselves for the wedding. he racked his brain but he couldn’t remember what she was to wear that morning.
she entered his room casually as he adjusted his tie in the mirror. she went straight to her suitcase, tucking her makeup bag into a corner and draping the garment bag over the back of the desk chair. when he saw her behind him, he turned so quick that he got dizzy for a moment. she wore a tight emerald green dress. it stopped a few inches below her knee, but the plunging neckline and the slit up the leg kept it from being entirely modest. when she turned his back to him, he saw that the back was simply a criss-cross of straps. he cleared his throat, his mouth suddenly dry. she looked like sin and he didn’t mind rotting in hell for an eternity.
“y/n, you look amazing,” he exhaled. he held his hand out to her and she accepted, smiling radiantly at him. he slowly spun her around, taking her all in, and then tugged her close to his body. his hand went to her waist, eyes dropping to her lips. she wound her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
“who would’ve thought? the two of us together,” a teasing smile played on her features.
“who would’ve thought?” he echoed.
they stood in silence for a moment that seemed like a lifetime. “are you gonna kiss me or what, rogers?” she raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. that was all the encouragement he needed to crash his lips onto hers. her body arched into his as she giggled into the kiss. she felt sixteen all over again.
“do you think we’re moving too fast?” he asked, after pulling away. he had a smile playing on his lips as he admired her.
“i mean, you are my boyfriend,” she joked, straightening his collar. she avoided his gaze.
“truly,” he added. “are we moving too fast?”
“maybe,” she sighed. he tucked his hand under her chin and tipped her head up so that she would meet his eyes. “but i don’t care,” she told him. her words were genuine.
“it’s okay,” he whispered. the words of comfort were more for him than for her.
the wedding ceremony went beautifully. it was on the intimate side, with less than 50 guests. he had rested his hand on her thigh, his thumb moving back and forth over her skin. he was a subtle distraction. he inched his hand up until she laced her fingers with his. “steve,” her voice was calm but a warning lurked beneath.
he smirked to himself, content with the fact that he had gotten under her skin. “i’ll behave now.”
once they arrived back home, she slipped out of her dress and into a silk robe. she took all of her things into sophia’s room, where they got ready, again. sawyer laid on his sister’s bed and toyed around on his phone. when she returned to steve, his breath was knocked out of her chest. the reception gown fit her like a glove, perfectly tight in all the right places and stretching over the curves of her body. she wasn’t paying attention to him, and instead to the jewelry that she had organized on his desk. she hummed softly to herself as she picked up the gold necklace. steve trailed behind her like a lost puppy. his lips were parted in shock.
“could you help me with the clasp?” she asked after struggling for a moment.
he wasn’t able to form a coherent sentence, so he wordlessly moved her hair out of his way and took the chain from her. his fingers brushed against her skin and goosebumps rose in its wake. he fastened the clasp, before gently running his fingertips down the nape of her neck. her back was pressed against his front. his lips ghosted over her neck as he moved his other hand to trail up her arm. she involuntarily shuddered, breathing out his name. she turned, her hands going to his face and pulled him down and into a kiss.
he stammered for a moment before finding the right words, “you are everything.”
they took a previously arranged limo to the venue for the reception. it was held in some ornate and expensive mansion. y/n was well aware that just a glass of champagne was most likely equivalent to her rent. the overwhelming wealth made her feel insecure. this life was one steve was used to and yet she felt isolated and out of place. she wondered if she would be able to fit in his life. despite this, she smiled and tried her best to not let her true feelings show through her facade.
everyone was lightly socializing, waiting for the newlywed couple to arrive. y/n pulled herself out of a conversation concerning investment banks to go to the restroom. she glanced around for steve, but did not spot him. she asked a waiter for directions and exhaled upon entering the bathroom, relieved to have just a moment of peace. she rolled her shoulders as she opened up her clutch to browse the meager contents and retouch her lipstick. after she had killed enough time, she opened the door, and immediately bumped into sophia.
“oh, hey y/n!” she smiled brightly.
“hi,” she mirrored her expression and stepped back, allowing the blonde girl to enter, “how’s your night going?”
sophia wrung her hands as she spoke, “a good start. i hope it continues like this. how about you?”
“i think i’m a little too sober. i’ve never attended such a nice event,” she admitted.
“it can be a bit overwhelming, even for me,” sophia empathetically replied. “i try to tell myself that it’s just one night.”
“just one night,” she repeated.
“on the bright side, you have steve! the picture he posted was so cute.”
“picture?” her voice went up an octave and she raised an eyebrow.
“yeah, on instagram.”
“yeah, on instagram,” she echoed. she cleared her throat and spoke again, “well, i should go back, now. steve’s probably looking for me.” with that, she breezed out of the restroom.
she found a secluded corner, tore her phone out of her purse, and opened up instagram. the first image to show up on her screen was a selfie of her, pietro, and steve. they were all beaming in the first picture, and in the second picture, steve was gazing at her with an adoration that made her breath catch in her throat. there was no caption on the post. with shaking hands, she locked her phone and placed it back into her purse. her prior feelings of alienation increased tenfold and she slowly returned to the party where everyone was settling into their seats to welcome wanda and vision.
steve had been scanning the crowd, looking for y/n. when he saw her, his face lit up and he raised a hand to beckon her. she briefly met his gaze before dropping it. his smile dropped into a frown and he lowered his hand. when she took her seat next to his, he leaned in close, his voice loud enough for only her to hear, “alright, darlin’?”
she nodded her head without looking at him. his frown deepened. before he could prod her more, the happy couple made their entrance and a round of speeches again. he couldn’t help but frequently glance at her, wondering what had caused the cold shift in her demeanor. “look at me,” he said to her, between speeches. she complied. he couldn’t read her. he reached his hand up and gently stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. “what’s wrong?” her resolve melted as her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned into his touch.
she wanted to pretend like everything was okay, but it wasn’t. she was terrified that she wasn’t enough for him. she managed a weak smile and answered, “nothing.”
Rated: MATURE! 18+ ONLY!! (UNPROTECTED SEX, ORAL *MALE RECIEVEING*, ROUGH SEX, SPRINKLE OF CAPTAIN KINK, SPRINKLE OF FLUFF)
Fandom:Marvel/MCU
I found this giant list of smutty prompts and decided to use them to get more writings out and add some new characters! Enjoy!!
I heard Steve’s morning alarm ringing making me groan softly. He started to untangle himself from me to get up. I grabbed his arms pulling him back to me. He chuckled nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. He placed a soft kiss on my skin.
“It’s time for my run beautiful.” He whispered.
“No, skip it today it’s not like it’ll hurt that ridiculous body,” I mumbled as I pulled him closer.
He placed several soft kisses on my neck making me hum.
“I have other things I have to do too (Y/N).” He chuckled softly
I groaned then rolled over to face him. He wrapped his large arm around my waist pulling me completely against his chest. I was the one to pepper kisses on his skin this time. He groaned softly then pulled my head up so he could kiss my forehead.
“I really need to get up.” He said quietly.
I did not want to lay alone in this bed right now. I wanted to stay cuddled up to him. I just wanted him. I rolled him over onto his back as I straddled him. His large hands rested on top of my thighs as I leaned down to kiss him. He could never deny my kisses even if he wanted to and I knew that. I slowly trail my kiss down his lean, hard body until I reached the hem of his boxers. He groaned softly as my hand lightly palmed him through the thin material.
“What are you doing doll?” He asked with an amused smile.
I pulled his boxers down revealing his semi-hard erection. I licked my lips as I looked up at him. My hand wrapped around him then slowly started to stroke him.
“Let me give you a reason to stay in bed,” I told him softly.
I didn’t give him a chance to protest. I licked from his hilt to the tip. I felt him harden instantly under my tongue. I wrapped my lips around him making him groan and buck his hips upwards. I bobbed my head taking him in deeper and deeper. I took in his full length letting it hit the back of my throat. I kept him there for a few seconds pulling out a low growl from him. Just the sounds he made were enough to get me going. I loved that I was the only that got to see Steve like this. Tousled hair, ragged breathing, and eyes dark with lust.
He grabbed a fist full of my hair pulling me away from his dick. He pulled me back up his body crashing his lips to mine as soon as he could reach them. I rubbed my lace-covered center against his now full erection. He groaned into my mouth.
“You gonna ride me doll or just tease me?” He asked breathlessly.
I smiled against his lips then moved my panties to the side. I grabbed hold of him then swiped his tip through my folds a few times to let him feel how wet I was. He moaned softly as his head fell back against the pillows. I lined him up with my entrance then sank down taking in his full length in one motion.
“Fuck” he breathed out as his large hands grabbed my wrists.
I started to roll my hips in a slow motion loving how he filled me. His grip tightened on my hips. I moaned as he forced my hips to move against him faster. I leaned forward hovering over him letting him guide my hips at the pace he wanted. I kissed and nipped at his chiseled jaw with my teeth.
I yelped in surprise when I landed on my back. Steve looming over me as he slammed himself back in. I cried out my back arching off the bed. He draped my legs over his arms as he grabbed my hips pulling me closer to him. His pace was rough and hard with loud slaps of skin against skin. He had me angled perfectly hitting that spot to make me a moaning babbling mess beneath him. My hands found his chest slowly dragging my nails down his skin. He groaned slamming into me even harder.
“Fuck Captain” I moan.
A shiver went through me at the sound he made. It was like a groan mixed with a growl. I had never heard him make such a noise. It had me clenching tight around him. He pushed my legs back so my thighs were against my stomach. He leaned over me locking his eyes with mine as he kept up his brutal pace. The new angle had him going deeper. I was breathless unable to do anything but moan and whimper. I could feel myself ready to burst. My walls clamping down around Steve. Steve let at a guttural groan as his hips stuttered obviously feeling it too.
“Please Captain” I whimpered wrapping my hands around his arms.
He leaned forward more capturing my lips with his. One of his hands came to my clit rubbing quick harsh circles. It only took a few seconds to push me over the edge. I cried out holding onto him like he was my lifeline as I moaned his name. His hips stuttered again but his thrust kept the same harsh force. He grunted my name as his hips rolled to a stuttering stop. We both panted trying to catch our breath. He pulled out then fell beside me on the bed with a huff.
I rolled over resting my head on his chest as I continued to try to catch my breath. His arms wrapped tightly around me as he pulled me even closer.
“You keep that up and I won’t be running anymore for my morning workout.” He teased softly.
I chuckled lightly slapping his chest.
“That could be arranged you know,” I told him in amusement.
He only laughed then placed several quick kisses around my face.
Summary: You express that you haven’t got in the Christmas spirit for the past few years and Steve makes a great effort to decorate the home you share.
Warning(s): None
A/N: It’s a little short but still very touching to meh lil ol’ heart. Enjoy!
Oh December, a month of both chaos and cheer for most people. A time of holiday cheer and office parties. Well, everyone who wasn’t you of course. You hadn’t felt the holiday spirit in quite some time. Every year, it was the same thing. It was rather a tiring commitment, than a holiday. This didn’t bother you too much otherwise you’d probably be miserable in the cold of snowfall and the scent of pine trees. This year was different. This year, you had the company of one of the cheeriest and jolliest people of them all. Your fiancé, Steve, was completely determined to make this holiday become one of your favorites, as it is to him. All memories of Christmas were always happy moments. Being with you just happened to be one of the happiest moments of all.
“Hey, I’ll be home in an hour. Charlie isn’t giving you too much trouble is he?” You chuckled through the phone. Charlie was your three year old husky, he was an angel…well a messy, hyper, and loud angel, but an angel nonetheless. You actually met Steve while you were walking Charlie through the park. He actually insisted upon walking you home, with it being eleven pm at night. You teased him with the whole captain America thing for awhile, you still do. He didn’t mind, if it meant being a hero in your eyes, it was all the better.
“Of course not,” Steve cleared his throat as he stepped off a ladder, “we’re uh, playing fetch. Why’d you have to work another hour?” His voice clearly one of concern.
“Christmas is coming and I figured if I stayed another hour, I could get the extra pay. I may not be into the whole Christmas thing but a good present for you would be ideal.” You smirk as you tap your fingers along your brown wooden desk. You imagined him in his coat still playing with your dog in the snow. He was truly a child at heart. It had to be one of the greatest things you admired about him.
“You agreed to marry me, I think that’s a gift enough don’t you think?” He teased. He looked up at the house and the tons of strands hanging from it. He smiled excitedly.
Gazing at your diamond band you responded, “Ah yes. You buying me a very expensive engagement ring to make my man hands look prettier is suuuuch a gift to you, Mr. Rogers.” Your eyelashes brushed against your cheeks remembering the beautiful memory.
Steve held the phone with his hand and felt the warmth of your love, even with it being almost below 40 degrees outside. “Well Mrs. Rogers, it was a gift. Don’t speak of your hands that way, they’ve done some great—“
“Steve,” you interrupted while chuckling, “I’m going to have to report you as a hypocrite to your team.” The blush crept to your cheeks. You glanced around to make sure no one was watching you smile like an idiot. Still, only you and two others were in the editing office. You’re a journalist and a pretty good one at that.
“Please no, I beg of you.” He playfully pleaded.
“Alright, I’ll take it into consideration. Just remember, I have Peter on speed dial and he knows how to spread the word,” you eyed the clock and nodded, “Alright, I have to go. I’ll be home soon.”
“Hey,” he looked down at the blanket of snow, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” You responded softly.
“Okay, y/n, until we meet again.” He smirked before hanging up. He turned towards the fifteen boxes next to him, then down at Charlie. “We have an hour buddy, let’s make it count.”
That hour had to be the shortest of Steve’s life and he had been in the stickiest of situations before. He used his stealth this time for something other than a high end mission. He grunted as he hung onto the ledge of the roof he was about to fall off of, “Charlie, I sure could use a hand.”
Charlie didn’t give a hand, simply he barked and ran in a circle. Luckily Steve just pulled himself back up and dusted his hands off.
The neighbors glanced up at the roof of the house, watching Steve as he attempted to string lights around the chimney but ran short. He was eyeing the chimney, debating whether or not he should simply jump in. Using his better logic, he decided against it. Remembering this was for you, he pulled himself together, climbed down that ladder, to the garage, and grabbed that extension cord.
Meanwhile, you were finishing off an article about a local aquarium adding king crabs to their exhibit. Yay you. Sighing, you close your laptop and slide it into it’s carrier. As you leave your office, you see desks. These desks were full of tiny little Christmas trees and little trinkets with Holliday sayings. Candy canes and little strings of popcorn. It was getting annoying. Frankly, you were not in the spirit of Christmas. It’s never been your thing. Perhaps it was from lack of celebration growing up, you thought.
Climbing into your car, you turned on the radio to clear your mind, what better than the jingle bells song to blare through the speakers. “Steve is haunting me.” You joked to yourself as you switched the station.
Twenty minutes later, you pull up to your house. The sight absolutely blew your mind. You quickly exit your car and shut the door behind you. Tucking your hands into your pockets you braced the cold and watched Steve appear from the garage. He lifted up his arms, “Hey, you like it?”
Your eyes traveled from one end of the house to the other. Lights flickered beautifully everywhere, I’m a shooting star motion. From the roof to the windows and tree to tree. You hadn’t realized it, but you were smiling like an idiot.
Suddenly Charlie galloped from the back yard and ran towards you. He jumped on you and you gasped, “Charlie! Did you know about this? And you didn’t tell me?” His tail wagged as you rubbed his body. Steve walked towards you and you looked up, “You think that’s enough lights?” You commented sarcastically.
“Ah, there’s never enough lights. I do have more just in case.” He teased and Charlie went running after the bird he seen flying over. You look up at Steve and fold your arms.
“You did all this?” You ask.
“Yep.”
“For me?…” you gently asked.
“Well you…and the electric company. I heard they were running low on cash.” He smiled.
You blinked a few times and wrapped your arms around his neck, embracing him close to you. “Thank you. I love it. It’s absolutely beautiful.”
“You’re welcome, doll.”
As you slowly let go, you held onto his gloved hands, “I’m speechless, but…why all this?” You motioned towards the array of illumination.
“Well, I remember you saying that you weren’t exactly keen on the idea of Christmas. I thought I might enlighten you and bring the joy closer to home. Christmas was a big deal in my house growing up. Even if it wasn’t the most expensive decorations. It was lovely and I love you. I just wanted you to naturally come around and I remember the little lights in your apartment so…I arranged something.”
You smiled and pressed your lips to his, “It’s starting to feel a lot like Christmas.” You sang softly as the two of you chuckled.
“Come on, I made hot coco. Come on Charlie!” He called before picking you up by your waist and threw you over his shoulder.
“Steve!” You yelped and laughed stepping into the home you shared.
A/N: I’m sorry guys I was really in my feels for this one but it’s been so long since I wrote for steve. Based on the song by Katy perry
Your heart shattered. What was worse? That you found out just like everyone else. Not a single person from the SSR bothered to tell you that Steve-your Steve- selflessly sacrificed his life to save millions by crashing the plane in the ice. You threw the newspaper down and proceeded to mourn the life you’d imagined; the life you’d no longer get to spend with him.
“You said move on, where do I go? I guess second best is all I will know. Cause when I’m with him I am, thinking of you”
Your parents hollered at you to move on. That all of this needed to stop because you were young and it wasn’t worth throwing your whole life away on a man that’s never coming back. And you tried, you did.
You tried paying attention, honestly. You were trying to give this poor guy that your best friend Diana had set you up with a fighting chance but it had only been seven months since you lost Steve. You couldn’t help but feel like you were betraying Steve and you couldn’t help but wish that it was Steves’ eyes you were looking into.
You’re like an Indian summer in the middle of winter. Like a hard candy with a surprise center.
You couldn’t help being brought back to a memory of Steve taking you to Coney Island. It was the 4th of July and you couldn’t have felt more special that he wanted to spend it with you. You played games and shared cotton candy. You remembered it was blue because of the way the gleam from the sun bounced off the sugar crystals making them sparkle like diamonds and the way Steve laughed when you stuck your tongue out at him for teasing you and it was bright blue.
Your heart ached.
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth (I taste your mouth), oh He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself
Another date, tried and failed. This one however was significantly worse. He walked you to your door and pulled you into a kiss. It was rough and forceful. You cried and ran inside. You remembered how Steve use to always kiss you. It was soft and gentle and made you feel loved. You sat, Unable to help feeling like you’ve just betrayed Steve.
And yes, I do regret How I could let myself let you go Now, now the lesson’s learned I touched it, I was burned Oh, I think you should know
After the stark expo when he excitedly came out of the recruitment office your heart sank. You both argued the entire walk home. You begged him not to go but Steve being as stubborn as he is wouldn’t change his mind. He promised he would write and that he’d make it home to you. You kick yourself everyday for not trying harder.
Looking into your eyes, Looking into your eyes Oh, won’t you walk through And bust in the door and take me away Oh, no more mistakes Cause in your eyes, I’d like to stay, stay
It had been seventy years since you’ve seen Steve. Looking up at him from your hospital bed now, you couldn’t believe it. He was bigger sure, but that sweet face still stayed the same. He sat in the chair next to the bed and grasped your hand in his. Carefully kissing the back of them. His smile was sad “I told you I’d come home to you”. Your smile was weak feeling yourself getting more tired “you’re late” he nodded “I know, I’m sorry sweetheart”. “At least you’re here now Stevie”. You finally closed your eyes, letting the peaceful darkness consume you. Steve cried and gently kissed your forehead. Knowing now that it was his turn to wait for you to come back for him one day.
“You lied to me,” Steve huffed out as he stormed up to the bar.
“What?” Natasha asked, taken off guard by Steve’s question and his sudden appearance. His face was red and puffy, and his eyes were glassy.
“She’s with him.”
“It wasn’t my place to tell you.”
“No, you just didn’t want to tell me!”
“Steve, calm down!” Nat said as she reached what was meant to be a soothing hand across the bar to rest it on his shoulder, but he just shook it off.
The party was in full bloom around them. People were streaming around them decked out in all their finery. It was like a perverted kind of last rights. They all knew of what was to come, but at least they could cover it up with makeup and pretty clothes for the night in an attempt to forget themselves.
Steve started to cry softly, a tear or two racing down his cheeks at a time. Natasha took notice, and poured him a drink before sliding it across the bar to him. He drank the entire thing in one swig without even wincing. He wasn’t even focused enough to feel it.
“You’ll be okay.”
“And what if I won’t? She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I left her. Now, I have to watch her gallivanting around with my best friend!”
“They hardly gallivant.” Natasha joked.
“Nat!”
“What? You said it yourself; you left her. Now, get over it.”
“Shouldn’t you be a little more sympathetic?”
“I’m Russian. And you’re a soldier. Hell, you’re not even that. You’re a super soldier, and now you’re crying into your glass over a woman. You’ve seen some of life’s worst atrocities. You saw firsthand what Nazis did to people. You’ve fought the worst of the worst. You’ve seen and committed war crimes. You’ve been through a hell of a lot worse than a bad breakup, and you’re acting like a child. It’s pathetic, especially considering that you did this to yourself.”
“So you hate me now too?”
“I said that I had forgiven you, not that I wasn’t still mad.”
“Really, Nat? We’re gonna be fighting on the same team the day after next,” Steve said in his old team leader voice he used to order his fellow teammates around. He could see a slight shift in Natasha when she heard it. She froze and her eyes grew impossibly colder.
“I can bench my feelings. The question is can you?”
“I think I’m gonna turn in for the night.”
“That’s probably for the best.”
“See you tomorrow, Nat.”
When he reached his room, he sat on the bed for a while. Steve didn’t have the energy to take his suit off, so he just sat there, shoes still on and everything. He hadn’t even loosened his tie. He just stared out the window with unseeing eyes.
Everything that you had said was true. He had left, and he couldn’t change that, but he thought that you might have waited for him. It was a stupid notion, and he knew that, but somewhere along the way he got so wrapped up in being Captain America that he forgot to be Steve Rogers. He thought that you would wait around the way that his adoring public always did. Looking back on it, he had been neglectful, and not just when he left. Maybe you were better off with Bucky, but he couldn’t believe that. The two of you were soulmates. Maybe he didn’t treat you like it, but you were his everything.
He should just leave again after the battle. It was obvious that nobody around here needed or wanted him there. Hell, not even Sharon wanted him around anymore. He had no place to go.
He finally had the strength to ask the AI in his room to look up your file. Your smiling face showed up, projected on the window, so different than the one that he had seen tonight. It was the picture from your first day working at SHIELD. You were the handler for the Avengers. Prior to that you had done the same for the Navy SEALS. You had also graduated from Stanford, top of your class, with a degree in International Relations. Needless to say, you were qualified for the job. When Steve scrolled further down on your career achievements, he was confused. When had you become an official member of the Avengers? Training records were linked underneath, and he clicked on them. It read Combat Agent- trained by Natasha Romanoff. He scrolled down further and clicked on one of your training videos. You were sparring with Bucky, and it was clear that he wasn’t pulling his punches. Steve was surprised at how hard he was attacking you, and winced, terrified that you would be hurt. To be fair, you were getting in some good hits of your own. Suddenly, Bucky’s legs were undefended, forgotten in his efforts to defend himself from you, and you swept them out from under him. You pinned him to the floor, the two of you giggling madly in the video. You captured his lips in a passionate kiss right before the video cut off.
That image would be burned into his brain forever. He couldn’t describe the way that it hurt him to see that. If he could take it all back he would. Sometimes he wished that he was just a kid in Brooklyn again, before the serum, and the ice, and the Avengers.
Hell, even that seemed like so long ago. How many more wormholes had torn open the sky since that first one in New York so long ago. Back then it was just the six of them. Now, it seemed like the Avengers were no longer a team, but an army. You were just the latest.
He figured that although the party had ended, Nat would still be awake. She could never sleep easily. Although he was probably the last person she wanted to see right now, he needed to speak to her.
He walked down the hallway, after getting directions to her room, and knocked on her door quietly, in case she was asleep.
“Steve?” Natasha asked as she opened her door.
“When did you start training Y/N?”
“What?”
“I saw that she’s a ‘combat agent’ now,” he said, placing air quotes around the words.
“She is, and she earned that position,”Nat replied coldly.
“When?”
“Right after you left. She was upset, and she wanted to learn. Who was I to turn her down? Every woman has a right to learn to protect herself.”
“Why?”
“She didn’t have you to protect her anymore.”
“Is she going to be fighting the day after next?” Steve asked with increasing concern.
“She’ll stay in the palace and protect Shuri and the labs.”
“It’s too dangerous.”
“Her safety isn’t your concern, is it?”
“Dammit, Nat, of course I care about her safety!”
“So you cared about protecting her from halfway across the world?”
“Why does everybody have to keep bringing that up?”
“Because it showed your true priorities Steve, and they sure as hell aren’t us. Her safety is no longer your job. It’s Barnes’, and he’s more than up to the task because unlike some people he won’t just leave her,” Nat spat at him coldly.
“Can we just talk, Nat?”
“Come inside. I’ll pour us both a drink.”
Steve walked into Nat’s room and sat on her bed as she poured them both heaping glasses of vodka. Her movements were reserved and sharp, not the relaxed way they used to be when Natasha trusted him. She handed him the glass and folded herself tightly into the armchair across from the bed. Steve took a sip of his drink and gagged.
“You drink this swill straight?”
“I’m Russian,” she said, her explanation for everything. “What did you want to talk about?”
“You understand why I did it right?”
“I don’t know. I know you loved Peggy, but I couldn’t imagine leaving the only family I’ve known to chase after some figment of the past. So I’ll give you the chance to explain it to me.”
“When things were tough or I felt lost, I turned to her. She was my rock, the only thing that made sense to me in these uncertain times. She was the only thing that felt real anymore, so to think that I knew nothing about her, that I didn’t even know Sharon was her niece… it broke me.”
“That sucks, but you could’ve stayed. You could’ve talked to us. Why did you have to follow her?”
“I needed answers,” he said simply in response.
“Did you get any?”
“More questions than answers. You know, she discovered the Red Room. Peggy was the first to put it on SHIELD’s radar.”
“I know.”
“She knew a girl like you, but she was a little harder to reform, Dorothy Underwood.”
“Known as one of the program’s failures. Although, I suppose, so am I. Only the least skilled would ever be caught by SHIELD.”
“Did you ever get the chance to meet her?”
“Once. Fury didn’t like that Clint had brought back a stray until Peggy Carter stormed into the room. She was the one who demanded that I have a position at SHIELD. Without her, I wouldn’t have this family or this life.”
“Just another thing that I never knew about her.”
“There will always be some mystery about her. If there wasn’t she wouldn’t really be Peggy, would she, if that even was her real name?”
“Do you think that everybody will forgive me?” Steve asked as he looked up from his lap with fear etched in his eyes.
“I don’t know. You were fighting with Tony when you dropped everything, and then you just left your only remaining friends.”
“I can’t get her back, can I?” Steve asked, staring down at the glass in his hands.
“I honestly don’t know, but I don’t think you’d be right to try.”
“What are they like together? Y/N and Bucky?”
“He’s good to her, treats her the way she ought to be treated. She was shattered when you left, wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t eat, nothing. He really picked up the pieces, put her back together. She’s his everything, now. I mean, you should see the way that he looks at her, like she hung the moon or something, and she’s good for him too. You know, he rarely has panic attacks anymore.”
“I’m happy for them,” Steve said with tears in his eyes.
“Steve-“
“No, I am really. It’s fine. They’re better off without me,” he said before racing out of the room.
He ran back into his own apartment, and collapsed onto his bed before sobbing into his pillow like a little boy. He fell asleep like that.
…
Steve woke up early the next morning, his face stiff with dried tears. Breakfast was already waiting outside his door. It was meager, just a bagel and some sausage, but it was to be expected. Today would be spent preparing for the battle tomorrow. Steve ate his breakfast quickly, and went for a brief run around the palace.
He stopped after a while and found a low wall to sit on. He watched the sun rise over the citadel. He thought back to last night and all that Nat had said. Bucky was better for you, and you two would be happy together. He had to give up. Resigned to his decision, he started to jog back towards the entrance to the palace. He knew that he had to apologize for his actions last night, and he was too impatient to wait until after he showered, so he jogged up to your room and knocked on the door hesitantly.
Hey,” he said nervously as the door swung open to see you standing behind it, still wearing your pajamas and a tired expression on your face. The one thing that hadn’t changed evidently was your reliance on coffee.
“What are you doing here, Steve?”
“I wanted to apologize for last night.”
“Ok.”
“I heard that you’re an official part of the Avengers now. Congratulations.”
“Hey doll, who’s at the door?” Bucky called out as he entered the room, having just showered and wearing nothing but a towel. “Oh, hey Steve.”
“Oh, so you and Bucky are living together? That’s uh… that’s… you know, that’s just really great. Good for you two.”
“I don’t remember asking for your approval. What do you really want?”
“I told you,” he stammered quietly as Bucky came to stand beside you at the door, his features contorted with interest. “I wanted to apologize.”
“Well, you’ve done that,” you said before closing the door in his face.
Summary: Steve left, and when he comes back, things have changed. (Not canon compliant)
A/N: Hey y’all. This is my new series. I hope y’all enjoy it. Also I know that I should start a new paragraph eveytime that sombody new speaks but I hit the 250 text block limit. So yes, I know I am not following basic grammar rules, and yes, it makes me cringe too. Next, I know it looks like Time Gone By I, but the name is Time Gone By. The I is just a Roman numeral. I know that I should have put a colon there, but when I did, it kind of irritated me so I deleted it.
As Steve walked through the gates of the Wakandan palace, he couldn’t hold in his admiration. His head was on a swivel as he took in the view of the city. It was a sight that he never thought he would see. In the 40s, Wakanda had been seen as a primitive third world country. By the 2010s, it seemed that not much had changed. The world still had yet to see this side of Wakanda, although it seemed that they wanted it that way. In fact, Steve, himself, had only ever really thought about it as the place his shield was made up until now. Walking through the palace gates, the first person that he saw was Bucky. He was excited to see his best friend for the first time in so many years. It was like a pattern for them- the world ripping them apart only to put them back together again. Only, Bucky didn’t look quite as happy to see Steve. He actually looked nervous.
“Hey, Buck. It’s been a while,” he called out as he ran towards Bucky and engulfed him in a tight hug that wasn’t returned nearly as enthusiastically. Then, he remembered where he was, disentangled himself from his friend, and bowed to the king. “I’m sorry, your majesty. That was disrespectful. I forgot myself. I apologize.”
“Please don’t apologize, and call me T’challa,” he replied in his lightly accented English that sounded so posh.
“Thank you, T’challa, and thank you for your hospitality. Now, Buck, how have you been? Tell me everything. It’s been so long.”
“Uh… Things have been different without you. I missed you,” he stammered, not quite meeting Steve’s eyes,
“I missed you too, bud. Now, where is she?”
“Who?”
“C’mon Buck. Don’t play stupid. You know who I’m talking about. Where’s Y/N?”
“Um, Steve. Things have changed since you’ve been gone. There’s a lot to talk about, you know?”
“No, I really don’t. What are you saying here, Buck?”
“I think now would be a good time to excuse myself,” T’challa said before turning and walking back into the palace. He signaled for the guard and everybody else to follow him.
‘C’mon, Buck. Just tell me what’s going on. I didn’t think that we kept things from each other.”
“No, you’re right. We don’t. It’s just that you left. You ran off and you followed Peggy’s niece around Europe for three years. Look, I get it. Peggy died and you were in a bad place, but was it really worth it? Was it worth it to leave the best thing that ever happened to your sorry ass to follow some remnant of Peggy like a dog chasing a stick?”
“Bucky, if you have something to say to me, just tell me, and stop beating around the bush!”
“I just don’t think that it’s a very good idea for you to see her right now,” Bucky said quietly, staring at his feet.
“Really? Who died and made you king?”
“Very mature, Steve.”
“If I want to see my girlfriend, I damn well will!”
“She’s not your girlfriend anymore!”
“What?” Steve asked, uncomprehending.
“You left to chase tail in Europe, and you think that you can just come back, and everything will be the same. You act like you were gone for a week or two, but it was three fucking years. You left us, all of us! Things have changed! You left her for another woman! She’s moved on! She doesn’t want to see you, Steve!”
“Moved on? Who has she moved on with?”
“Nobody. She’s just moved on,” Bucky said, sounding exasperated. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. There’s a room for you in the palace. You can set your stuff there.”
“Thanks,” Steve replied, before storming off into the palace.
When he reached his room, he marveled at it. The technology in there put that of the Compound or Tower to shame. The window stretched from floor to ceiling, and the view was incredible. It was a stark contrast to the view he was used to from his crappy flat in 40s Brooklyn, or the view of New York from the Tower. It even weirded him out not to see Thor and Nat wailing on each other in a field outside. Instead, he saw wide open spaces unlike New York and beautiful architecture unlike the Compound. It was all mixed together to create the most beautiful citadel that Steve had ever seen. He thought about asking whatever virtual assistant that was undoubtedly hooked up in his room about you, but he had only barely mastered JARVIS. He didn’t even know the name of this one, so he just sat on the bed and thought about what Bucky had said for a while. It wasn’t all true, was it? Had he really been gone that long? It hadn’t felt like three years when he had been with Sharon. Despite what everybody thought, and despite that ill timed kiss, he hadn’t been with Sharon for sex or a relationship or whatever. It was just that he had realized at the funeral when Sharon spoke as Peggy’s niece, how little he knew about Peggy’s life other than when he knew her. He needed to piece it together. He needed to know more. He wasn’t ready to let go yet, so yeah, he followed a woman around Europe just to find out more about her dead aunt. He hadn’t really seen himself as leaving you. He had meant to keep in touch with you. Really, he had. He had meant to come back, but two weeks turned to four, then eight, then three whole years. When had he let that happen? Suddenly, he heard a knock at his door. Steve opened it to find T’challa standing behind it.
“Prince T’challa, what can I do for you?”
“I thought I told you that just T’challa is fine” he teased Steve lightly.
“I’m sorry? What did you come to talk about?”
“I thought I should come and welcome you properly. It didn’t seem like things were good between you and your friend.”
“No, they weren’t, but it’s none of our concern. I wouldn’t want to bother you with my problems when you’re already showing me so much hospitality.”
“If a king cannot listen to the difficulties of his people, he has no business being king.”
“Very wise.”
“My father told me that.”
“He was a good man.”
“I know, but I am not here to talk about him. I thought I would tell you that we are having a party tomorrow night. I wanted to welcome all of the fighters and give them a chance to destress before the fight.”
“It sounds like a great idea. Will everybody in the palace be there?”
“I hope so. I’ll have a suit sent up to your room. According to our calculations, Thanos should be here in two days.”
“And those are accurate?”
“Shuri doesn’t make mistakes,” T’challa said in a tone that left no room for further questions on the matter. Steve wanted to ask who Shuri was but decided to leave it alone. “I’m having some of our scientists make a suit for you. It’ll be a little more high tech and more appropriate for the occasion than the stars and stripes.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll have dinner sent up tonight. Most of your fellow teammates have opted to eat dinner in their rooms.”
“What information can you give me on Y/N?”
“I’m afraid it’s not my place.”
“Please,” Steve begged, employing his best puppy eyes.
“I should be going,” T’challa said, before leaving the room abruptly.
Dinner was sent up shortly after. It was a cheeseburger and fries, and probably the best that Steve had ever had. It reminded him of going out for lunch with Bucky after some of his less damaging fights, or going to Coney Island with girls that he only met two hours prior, but swore that he was going to marry. Steve missed back when things were simpler. After a while, the sky outside got dark, and Steve figured he should turn in early. The next couple of days were going to be rough, and he had better prepare the best that he could.
…
The next morning, Steve was woken up by blinding sunlight streaming through his window. He sat up in his bed and heard a voice coming from some hidden corner of his room.
“Good morning, Captain Rogers. The king would like to see you in the training lab at your earliest convenience,” a kind sounding female voice said in a stiff British accent that let him know it was some AI talking.
“Uh… good morning. Can you please tell the kind that I’ll be there soon, and could I also get directions to the training lab, please?”
“Just take the elevator to the lowest level.”
“Thank you.”
Steve dressed himself quickly in joggers and one of the T-shirts in the drawers of the dresser in his room. Evidently, whoever had stocked that dresser knew of his fondness for tight fitting shirts. He hustled down the hall to the elevator, still marveling at how modern the palace was. When he stepped into the lab though, he was in a whole other world. There were a plethora of machines whizzing over his head. There were different projects scattered everywhere in various states of completion. Holograms were projected around the room, showing the blueprints for multiple machines. It was like Stark Labs but bigger and even more high tech. He could hear a loud whirring coming from one corner of the room. He followed his ear in the direction of the noise to find T’challa watching a young woman hunched over a piece of metal that she was soldering.
“Hello,” Steve said as he walked up,not wanting to startle the girl wielding a glorified cauterizing knife.
“Ah, Captain Rogers, it is good to see you. This is my sister Shuri. She has been working on the suit for you.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Princess,” Steve bowed his head in respect.
“Shuri is fine,” she replied, finally looking up from her work.
“As long as you call me Steve.”
“Deal.”
“So what’s the deal on this new suit?”
“It’s over here. Follow me,” Shuri said as she started walking to the opposite side of the lab. “Your new suit will harness kinetic energy, same as my brother’s. It’s also a little darker and more appropriate for the solemnity of what’s to come, but heat reflective so that you won’t be burning up inside of it. It’ll be great if you ever decide to use it for stealth missions. The new suit will also be able to read and relay your vitals to the rest of your team, and of course, your new shields will be attached to the suit so you don’t have to worry about them getting lost on such a hectic battle field.
“That all sounds very impressive.”
“Shuri is the best we have, even better than your Stark,” T’challa cut in.
“I’m excited to see it, then.”
“Well, I’ll also need you to try it on. I used your measurements from the media about you, Dorito Man.”
“Is that what they call me?” Steve asked with a small chuckle “Yes, and it’s what your friend Natasha told me to call you when she helped me out with the guesstimating.”
“Of course she did.”
“She actually offered to help you test the suit out,” Shuri said as she stopped in front of a glass display case, containing a dark navy suit. Natasha stepped out from behind it with an impish grin on her face. “Hey, Cap.”
“Nat!” Steve exclaimed as he wrapped her in a tight hug. “I’ve missed you! Hey, I’ve been meaning to come find you and ask, how’s Y/N?”
“No, Steve.”
“C’mon Nat! Please!”
“Just put on the damn suit. Let’s get this over with,” Nat said, her voice laced with disdain. Shuri directed Steve behind a changing partition he requested, all the while insisting that it was nothing they hadn’t seen before. He emerged a few minutes later with his new suit on. It felt great and fit like a glove. “Stand on the line,” Natasha directed him, pointing to a tapeline on the floor. “I’m gonna hit you now,” and she did. She punched Steve as hard as he had ever seen her hit anyone, even their enemies, even HYDRA’s goonies.
“Jesus, Nat!”
“I said that I was going to hit you.”
“Not that hard!”
“Whatever. Now, run into that wall.”
“Why is Shuri recording?” Steve asked suspiciously. “Research purposes,” she answered simply, as she adjusted her tablet for a better angle. Steve did what he was told and ran into the wall. Immediately, he was blown back by some unseen force and knocked 20 feet onto his back. “That is so going viral!”
“What the hell was that?” he mustered out weakly over the sounds of everybody laughing with Nat being the loudest. “The kinetic energy in the suit,” Shuri answered. “I thought I warned you.”
“We all get revenge in different ways. I asked Shuri to help you test your suit. You forget, you left me too. Tell Sharon I say hi,” Nat said before walking out of the room proudly, still chuckling. “I think that I had better head back to my room now,” Steve said as he managed to rise to his feet. “See you tonight, Captain,” T’challa said as he attempted to stifle his laughs.
…
That night, Steve dressed himself in the suit that had been left at his door. It was a deep navy color that brought out the blue in his eyes. It was paired with a simple white shirt. Everything fit him perfectly like it had been tailor made for him, although he supposed it had been. He looked at himself anxiously in the mirror. He was afraid and excited. It was the first time that he would see you in 3 years. He didn’t know if he was ready. He started to walk downstairs, and he had to stop himself from running all the way to the main hall. He fiddled nervously with his cufflinks the entire way down in the elevator. When he reached the main hall, he realized how early he was. Only Natasha was there, standing behind the bar in a tailored white button down and black vest, fixing herself a drink.
“Hey,” Steve called out as he approached the bar. “Are we good after this morning?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to humiliate you.”
“I probably deserved it.”
“No, you definitely did. What are you drinking?”
“Do you have any of that Asgardian stuff from the last time that Thor was on Earth?”
“Ooh, starting off the night strong are we?”
“Well, I’m gonna see Y/N tonight.”
“Steve, are you sure that it’s a good idea to talk to her? She was messed up after you left, and now, she’s finally in a good place.”
“Why is everybody saying that? I love her! What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing,” Nat said, sounding tired, as she placed Steve’s drink in front of him. More people had filtered in at this point including Bucky. “Do you think that I should even try to talk to him?” Steve asked as he stared miserably at the bottom of his glass. “You’re best friends. It couldn’t hurt.”
“You didn’t see how mad he was yesterday.”
“I know how mad he got, and he had every right to do so, but Steve you’ve already lost him so many times. Don’t let it happen again.”
“I hate it when you’re right,” Steve said as he pushed away from the bar. “How are you doing?” he asked as he walked up to Bucky. “Worse, now that you’re here.”
“Are you kidding me? Why can’t we just be adults about this?”
“Last I checked, you haven’t acted like an adult in 3 years, if you ever did.”
“Are you really still this mad at me?”
“Are you really still a punk?” Bucky joked with a wink. “I missed you bud,” Steve said into Bucky’s hair as he enveloped him in a bruising hug, one that was returned with equal love this time. “I missed you too.”
Suddenly, Steve froze in Bucky’s arms. Bucky turned to see what had caused his friend’s sudden change, and saw you. You were making your way down the stairs into the ballroom, and you looked like a princess. Your hair had gotten longer since the last time Steve had seen you. It cascaded past your shoulders in soft curls. The dress you were wearing was champagne colored with a magnificent tulle skirt that belled out at your waist. The entire dress shimmered, giving you the illusion of having been showered in sparkles. You had reached the main floor and Steve saw your face light up when you caught sight of him.
“Hey!” you trilled as you completely overlooked Steve and flung yourself into Bucky’s arms. “Hey, Y/N. You look stunning,” Bucky stammered when he regained the ability to speak. “What the hell is going on here?” Steve asked incredulously. You whirled around and recognition flashed in your eyes as you backed father into Bucky’s chest and he wrapped his arms around you protectively. “Steve,” you gasped, the name falling from your lips like a forgotten prayer. “You- you can’t be here.”
“Really? Because the king personally reached out and asked for my help. Now does one of you care to explain?”
“You left,” you said defensively. “What are the two of you doing?”
“I thought you were gonna tell him,” you said to Bucky. “I needed more time. It’s not exactly something that you rush into when you see somebody for the first time in three years.”
“Tell me what?”
“Steve, let’s not. I mean, c’mon, we’re on good terms and besi-“ Bucky said, trying to soothe the situation, before Steve cut him off. “Screwing my girlfriend doesn’t exactly scream buddies!”
“That’s not fair,” you mumbled into Bucky’s chest, where you had turned and hidden your head. “What?” Steve asked, growing angrier by the minute. “That’s not fair, and you know it. You left me. I was devastated. Bucky was there for me, so excuse me for moving on!” you shouted as you whirled back around.” “I didn’t…”
“Didn’t what? Leave me? So then what do you call running off to Europe for three years without a word?”
“You don’t understand. I had to,” Steve said quietly with his head hung low like a puppy with his tail tucked between his legs. “Oh, so you were held at gunpoint? Were you forced to leave without saying goodbye?”
“Well, no, but-“
“Because the way I heard it,” you continued overtop of Steve’s protests. “Sharon wanted nothing to do with you after that crappy kiss, so she hopped around Europe for three years, trying to escape you, while you attempted to interrogate her about her dead aunt.”
“She kissed me.”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses Steve!”
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Steve asked Bucky who now was standing a couple of steps behind you. “I think she’s got it covered.”
“You have no right to have any opinion about Bucky and I’s relationship. You shouldn’t even be here.”
“Y/N…”
“You can’t claim me as your property, Steve, not when you threw me away like a piece of trash.”
“Please.”
“I hope she was worth it,” you spat, before walking away and taking Bucky with you.
Summary:After taking an accidental detour on your way to a remote getaway, you and boyfriend Zach end up in the middle of nowhere with no other option than to spend the night at a seemingly desolate motel.
Still covered in the blood of their latest victim, killer duo Steve and Bucky head to the nearest motel to freshen up before hitting up the closest bar in search of a couple of one night stands to top their night off.
But when your paths cross, and the friends bear witness to the disrespectful way you’re treated, they decide to take out their pent up energy on you and Zach instead.
Characters:Dark!Steve x F!Reader x Dark!Bucky.
Words:5.4K.
Warnings:non-con/dub-con, explicit sexual content, dom!Steve (ish), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), threesome, double penetration, anal play, anal sex, spit roasting, deep throating, oral sex (male and female receiving), multiple orgasms, mentions of cheating, (sort of) cuckolding, voyeurism, pistol whipping, creampie, murder, violence, Stockholm Syndrome (if you squint), 18+.
A/N:Formerly a Patreon exclusive. Beta:@princessmisery666 but all the general bullshit is entirely mine.
“Do you want me to drive?” you ask, eyes spanning the dark highway ahead while chastising yourself as the question falls from your lips.
…Bucky was watching Steve, watching you. The handsome blonde was scrutinizing the way you were drinking the glass of water the waiter had set on the table before you, not masking his concern.
In truth, you were gulping it down as though you’d been stranded in the desert for a month, but this had become the norm for you, another sign of your pregnancy. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, even with your powers.
Bucky had been keeping a closer eye on you as well, so he didn’t blame Steve, really. But he was being too obvious, and in an effort to prevent you from noticing and becoming worried about him in return, Bucky gently kicks Steve under the table.
Those bright blue eyes snap to his own, and a somewhat meek expression plays over his face. “So, um,” Steve clears his throat and looks at you again, this time with a small smile tugging the corners of his lips. “Bucky and I have been talking-“
You snort adorably, your eyebrow quirking, “oh, just talking? I thought I heard a little more than tha—“
“Yes, well,” He interjects as Bucky laughs, “amongst other activities we talked. About you, the baby, and our next steps.”
At this, you set your water down and glance between them, eyes narrowing. Bucky already sensed your thoughts—that they had been plotting behind your back. He automatically reaches out and drapes an arm around your shoulders.
“Not like that, sweet girl,” Steve corrects, his eyes briefly meeting Bucky’s before he gives you a nervous smile. He hesitates and Bucky gives him an encouraging nod. “I was hoping—that is, will you marry me?”…
A/N: Sorry this is late. This week got away from me. I hope this was worth the wait!
Chapter 21
Steve was a block away from the bookstore, nerves getting the better of him. His brain replayed Matilda’s reaction over and over, taunting him as he continued to move. It reminded him of the pain he had caused their baby the last time this happened. He began making deals with God in his head, asking for his little one to be spared any fear or pain. He would accept whatever price he had to pay if it meant she was OK.
