#trauma blog
I had to call the cops on my mom tonight so they can take her to the mental hospital and not one of my friends or my boyfriend came to help me. Nobody fucking cares even my dad wouldn’t come help take care of his own wife. It’s so quiet and lonely in this house now all by myself I wish the cops never left so I had someone to talk to.
My mom has bipolar disorder and she has psychotic episodes sometimes. It’s be traumatizing growing up taking care of your mother when she acts like this. She can be violent and angry and just attack me suddenly because she believes I’m the devil. I used to have horrible breakdowns myself whenever this happens but recently she is in an episode and I have been doing well. I clean her bedroom and take care of her animals and clean the house and she hasn’t been violent this time around thank god. It’s just very isolating being in a house alone with her. I’m lucky we have a home and I try to remind myself that even if it’s so empty.
I’m so tired I can’t keep taking care of her
I long for a darkness only found in my childhood home. The basement buried deep in the soil surrounded by the forest’s roots. Cold brick walls felt safe when everything else was so scary. The basement was a bomb shelter protecting me from the war happening above. Plates being thrown through the air couldn’t reach me deep in the earth. No hands could touch me when I was cradled by the dirt. I just want to go back
My body is not made just for sex. It’s made for dancing, hugging my dog, and smiles. My worth is not in my sex appeal.
Y’all ever just have some crazy ass trauma related dreams?
I’m starting to question if I’ve ever actually felt any emotions
love to everyone who is struggling with the idea of the new year right now. you have survived another year despite it all and that is all that matters
you have the right to recover and enjoy life
if your grades slip, you struggle with school or take a break/drop out entirely because of trauma: that’s okay. your wellbeing comes first. academics don’t define your intelligence or worth as a person
it’s okay if you didn’t do anything except stay alive today.
