#cptsd vent

7.2.2020

DONT REPOST / okay to rb if you are a csa victim as well

Hey idk who’s vent this was but it looks familiar and I’m 99.9% sure it’s about abuse or CSA. This is just a not so friendly reminder to not use people’s vents as memes?? What’s wrong with you holy shit. Someone posted this as a response to a “rice purity test” score thing and when questioned didn’t say it was their art SO I’m assuming someone made this out of a vent from here. My blood is boiling haha. Adding lots of tags to this so hopefully the artist sees it or is made aware, if you are the artist and want the user of the person who posted this please message me.

art journal // 091420

Fear of being abandoned ✅

I’m realizing I’ve been depressed since I was a little kid and I thought it was just my personality but now I’m coming out of it and it’s like I’m getting the childhood I never got to have back

I had to call the cops on my mom tonight so they can take her to the mental hospital and not one of my friends or my boyfriend came to help me. Nobody fucking cares even my dad wouldn’t come help take care of his own wife. It’s so quiet and lonely in this house now all by myself I wish the cops never left so I had someone to talk to.

My mom has bipolar disorder and she has psychotic episodes sometimes. It’s be traumatizing growing up taking care of your mother when she acts like this. She can be violent and angry and just attack me suddenly because she believes I’m the devil. I used to have horrible breakdowns myself whenever this happens but recently she is in an episode and I have been doing well. I clean her bedroom and take care of her animals and clean the house and she hasn’t been violent this time around thank god. It’s just very isolating being in a house alone with her. I’m lucky we have a home and I try to remind myself that even if it’s so empty.

I’m so tired I can’t keep taking care of her