#adhd positivity

queer-and-nd-coded:

having adhd and not knowing it from a young age is being yelled at by your parents because you remembered to do your homework that’s due tomorrow on the night before. it is often getting into trouble because you zoned out during a conversation or a teacher’s explanation but you don’t even know how you did it, you don’t control it. it is knowing deep down that you’re different from other kids but not knowing why. and then, being treated different by your peers and by the adults around you and again not knowing why. it is suffering in silence because everybody, in a way or another, punishes you for being the way you are even if you don’t even know what that means.

but then… you finally understand it. you finally put all the pieces together and for the first time in your life, everything you’ve lived until that moment finally makes sense. the reasons behind the things you did and still do are finally explained to you and you don’t feel like an outsider anymore. and tbh? it’s one of the greatest feelings in the world.

sending love and support to neurodivergent people of color right now… neurodivergent people aren’t just white, and though there’s a clear lack of representation, you’re valid and i respect you. i will always fight for your right to comfortably and proudly exist.

the-skys-rim:

adhdpie:

adhdpie:

–the Only Mood everyone else knows about: i  wanna do THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and–SQUIRREL

–galaxy brain: i was listening to the lecture but the prof said something that reminded me of something else and now i’m not sure how much time i was lost in thought

–the tutorial only comes in video format: i’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the emperor’s groove *hurls product & its tutorial video into the sun*

–damn you hyperfocus: i went to bed intending to wake up and write but this morning i was possessed by a cleanliness spirit and spent the next 14 hours organizing the apartment

–i dont think u tried at all.jpg: did i seriously spend an entire free day refreshing twitter b/c i didn’t want to spend 10 minutes finishing my hw but wouldn’t let myself do anything else until i finished it???? (yes)

–patrick star: *unlocks phone* time to check the weather. *opens twitter* the weather. *opens messenger* the weather. *opens mobage game* theweather.*opens facebook* the weather. *opens twitter again* THE WEA–

–smells like depression: literally everything is too boring. i’m going back to sleep

#this is the post that made someone message me saying i was stereotyping adhders#when i have adhd and identity with all of this

cowards can come @ me, the OP, if they got a problem with this post b/c all of these are literally about me

I feel this but I’m not adhd maybe some of these cross over with autism

they do cross over with autism, yes! adhd and autism share many similar characteristics and symptoms, such as 

• hypersensitivity to stimuli/becoming overstimulated
• forms of stimming (generally to relieve hyperactivity in adhd ppl)
• failure to comprehend social cues/the emotional state of people around us, and
• periods of utter inward focus rendering us unaware of the world around us. 

also I can’t help noticing the similarity between adhd hyperfixations and autistic special interests, including the need to share about what we learn at G R E A T length! (I love this about us)

AND ALSO! autism and adhd are comorbid which means that people can have both autism and adhd! it’s actually not uncommon to have both!

adhd/autism spectrum solidarity yall 

qveen-of-dxsaster:

tealdearest:

adhdpie:

aka why tf am i procrastinating on The Thing (more like a flowchart, actually)

lots of people who have executive function difficulties worry about whether they’re procrastinating on a task out of laziness/simply wanting to be a jerk or mental struggles. this checklist might help you figure out which it is at any given time! (hint: it’s almost never laziness or being a jerk.) (obligatory disclaimer: this is just what works for me! something different might work better for you.)

1) do I honestly intendto start the task despite my lack of success?

• yes: it’s a Brain Problem. next question
  
• no: it’s shitty to say one thing & do another. better be honest with myself & anyone expecting me to do the task.
  

2) am I fed, watered, well-rested, medicated properly, etc?

• yes:next question
  
• no:guess what? this is the real next task

3) does the idea of starting the task make me feel scared or anxious?

• yes: Anxiety Brain. identify what’s scaring me first.
• no:next question

4) do I know how to start the task?

• yes:next question
  
• no:ADHD Brain. time to make an order of operations list.

5) do I have everything I need to start the task?

• yes:next question
  
• no:ADHD Brain lying to me about the steps again, dangit. first task is ‘gather the materials’.

6) why am i having a hard time switching from my current task to this new task?

• i’m having fun doing what i’m doing: it’s okay to have fun doing a thing! if task is time-sensitive, go to next question.
• i have to finish doing what i’m doing: might be ADHD brain. can I actually finish the current task or will I get trapped in a cycle? does this task really need to be finished?
• the next task will be boring/boring-er than the current task: ADHD brain. re-think the next task. what would make it exciting? what am I looking forward to?
• I might not have enough time to complete the task: ADHD brain wants to finish everything it starts. (if task is time-sensitive, go to next question)
• i just want to make the person who asked me to do it angry: sounds like anxiety brain trying to punish itself, because I know I’ll be miserable if someone is angry at me. why do i think I deserve punishment?
• no, I seriously want to piss them off: okay, i’m being a shithead

7) have I already procrastinated so badly that I now cannot finish the task in time?

• yes: ADHD brain is probably caught in a guilt-perfection cycle. since I can’t have the task done on time, i don’t even want to start.
  

reality check: having part of a thing done is almost always better than none of a thing done. if I can get an extension, having part of it done will help me keep from stalling out until the extension deadline. i’ll feel better if I at least try to finish it.

• no, there’s still a chance to finish on time: ADHD brain thinks that I have all the time in the world, but the truth is I don’t. 

reality check: if i’m having fun doing what I’m doing, I can keep doing it, but I should probably set a timer & ask someone to check on me to make sure I start doing the task later today.

8) I’ve completed the checklist and still don’t know what’s wrong!

• probably wasn’t honest enough with myself. take one more look.
• if I’m still mystified, ask a friend to help me talk it out.
  

hope this helps some of you! YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE DON’T GIVE UP ON YOU

This is…entirely too real lol

OP thinks finishing tasks isn’t important??? some schools give you a zero for unfinished work

oh no, I do think finishing tasks is important! the whole point of most of this checklist is helping people start things they’re having trouble starting so they *can* complete the task - can’t finish what you don’t start, right?

but point 7 of the checklist is for what happens when you’re stressing out super badly b/c you were unable to start a task for so long it’s now literally impossible for you to finish it. it suggests that if you can’t finish, you might as well do part of the task anyway.

However,

if you’re in a situation where:

• partially completed work does not get partial credit / gets a zero, same as if you turned in nothing
• there’s no possibility for an extension / a zero-tolerance policy for late work

then suggesting that you finish whatever part you can finish doesn’t apply to your situation at all. 

In your situation, I would change that point to say: 

7) have I already procrastinated so badly that I now cannot finish the task in time?

• yes: ADHD brain is probably caught in a guilt-perfection cycle. since I can’t have the task done on time, i don’t even want to start i’m just punishing myself for procrastinating until I guaranteed I’d fail.

reality check: i didn’t succeed in starting this work early enough this time, but that’s okay. punishing myself by stressing about the work I didn’t do won’t get it done. I can make a plan to help me succeed next time, such as getting someone to check in with me before it’s too late to finish. 

if I didn’t fully understand the material in class, finishing part of the work might help me better understand it, even if I can’t get credit for it. if I did, I might as well let this go and enjoy myself fully instead of worrying about a task that’s no longer relevant.

the rest of the world wants to punish us enough for failing to finish things on time. zero tolerance policies for incomplete/late work is one of the harshest ways we’re punished for it. it’s harmful to people with executive dysfunction because it discourages us to bother fighting our bad habits when we procrastinate too long. (and that’s terrible, but it’s hard to get people to change their minds on this.)

so yes: it’s important to finish things whenever we can because the world is so hard on ppl who don’t finish things!

but that doesn’t mean we have to punish ourselves, too. 

Fear of being abandoned ✅

I’m realizing I’ve been depressed since I was a little kid and I thought it was just my personality but now I’m coming out of it and it’s like I’m getting the childhood I never got to have back

It sucks having no friends sometimes. I wanna talk to people and give eachother advice and have fun.

My body is not made just for sex. It’s made for dancing, hugging my dog, and smiles. My worth is not in my sex appeal.

My mental health has been getting better so yay

Waiting for that mood swing to hit so I can start feeling like life is beautiful again

I need someone to love me through my darkest moments when I’m angry and I can’t feel anything but rage. I know it’s toxic to ask for unconditional love when you are far from deserving of it but I need someone to always be there.

everyonehasamnesia:

As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.

And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.

I know I made a post about this before, but I can’t find it. So, you’re friendly reminder that you don’t have to settle for zoom “mediocrity” just because you have ADHD. There are plenty of successful people with ADHD. The trick is finding something you love, and a passionate and diving into it. You might have to work on some depression and anxiety first, but you CAN succeed!

There are actors with ADHD: Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins (who has also written books), Kristen Bell, Salma Hayek

There are YouTubing attorneys with ADHD: Emily D. Baker (also dyslexic), Ian Runkle (Runkle of the Bailey), Rob who’s last name I don’t remember (Law & Lumber).

Badass gymnast Simone Biles has ADHD, as does Dancing with the Stars pro Karina Smirnoff.

The founder of Kinko’s, Paul Orfalea, also had ADHD and dyslexia. Charles Schwab, who founded the US’s largest brokerage firm, also has ADHD.

One of my dad’s patients is an advanced nurse, and has been in charge of departments in an academic setting.

There are more in this listtoo.

No matter what people tell you, - even others with ADHD (including one that inspired me to write this post that I should have pushed back on right then and there), - you absolutely don’t have to settle for doing nothing. You CAN accomplish things. You just need to find what you love enough that it can motivate you.