#umbrella academy

Klaus when he’s being tortured and the ghosties start coming out:

Anybody: Where do you see yourself in 10 years

Five:*flashbacks to the apocalypse*

Klaus: Look Ben, it’s a graveyard next to a lake.

Ben: Oh my god this is prime real estate

A kid on the street: Hey look at that man, he’s got a giant gorilla body

Luther:

Klaus: *trips and accidentally throws his bowl of fruit loops in the air so it lands on Five’s head*

Five:

Klaus: I’ve only had Dave for a day and a half but if anything happened to him, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.

~10 months later~

Dave:*dies*

Klaus basically the next day: Wow, God? Fancy seeing you here

Klaus: You know what would be sexy. Eating food off each other.

Dave: You didn’t do the dishes did you

Klaus: not a single plate

Diego: *runs up to the down escalator coming from upstairs*

Allison: Diego that’s the wrong escalator!

Diego: NoT iF i RuN fAsT eNoUgH!!

*starts running up it*

Allison:

Hazel talking to his therapist: You think killing people might make them like you, but it doesn’t. It just makes people dead.

The therapist:

Allison after she sees Klaus’ rehab bracelet:

Klaus: *does drugs in Diego’s car after Dave dies*

Diego: Ok, but just so you know, I’m judging you.

Klaus who is higher than a turtle’s life expectancy: NoT iF I JuDgE yOu FiRsT

Diego:

Klaus: *comes downstairs at 8 am in a black skirt with rainbow suspenders, a HUMAN crop top, and giant rainbow heels*

Five: Wow Klaus. You look more gay before 9:00 am than most people do all day.

Dave: Klaus can you turn the lights on?

Klaus: I don’t need to. You’re the only light I need in my life

Dave: Klaus, I cant see

Klaus: Can you make a sentence without using the letter ‘A’?

Five: You thought you just did something, didn’t you? Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon

Klaus. 2019. Ella Clawley.

saw the new umbrella academy trailer and i’m a little pissed off that the trailer is pitting Viktor against another black character. His entire first arc centered around how he hurt Allison, and now we got this. 

I don’t want Viktor to become synonymous with anti-blackness (again), so I’m hoping that interaction he had with the black sparrow academy guy is the only negative interaction he has. 

It took me a long time to like him specifically because of his relationship with Allision being a black woman, and because his original arc was so intertwined in racism. And I hope the show writers have learned from that, and don’t create a rivalary with the first trans guy character in the show against a black guy, because I think Viktor deserves to exist without anti-blackness, considering the writing has done so well to remedy S1, and because I don’t want black fans to have to be put in another difficult situation in which we have to fight Viktor’s fanbase due to anti-blackness.

The Umbrella Academy but everyone but Five is played by a muppet

and-we-met-at-the-disco:

*on a family outing*

Ben: please let this be a normal field trip!

Klaus: with Reginald fucking Hargreeves?!?! Unfucking LIKELY!

flavoredmagpie:

[Part 2] Ben Hugreeves