Hi there! Hello. My name is D and I was raised in a conservative Christian household in the suburbs of Brooklyn. Naturally, I’m now a tattoo-covered lesbian with an affinity for bright hair who reads too many comics. I do a lot of volunteer work, but not for Jesus, and I also take kickboxing classes. Clearly gay.

I didn’t have many friends in high school, which is how my ongoing obsession with writing and social media began. I launched my career with a GeoCities website dedicated entirely to Sailor Moon, which my librarian asked me to shut down because many bad people use the Internet. I wisely heeded her advice and years later, I’m publishing highly personal stories under my own name because what else can you do with a journalism degree?

“You’re online from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed,” my exasperated sister once told me, a habit that bosses now love me for. I’m that jerk you can’t share viral baby goat videos with because I saw them a year ago, before they went viral.

As an introvert who has once suggested that all staff meetings be held via gchat, I have found my calling in communications (seriously). I can write! I can be on social media! I can pretend to be human in important meetings!

All joking aside, I believe in being passionate about what you do and having fun while doing it. I believe in treating people like people, and in making workplaces as diverse, accessible, and inclusive as possible. I believe in fairness, and in leaving the world a bit better than when you entered it.

A coworker once told me, “people like you because you’re real.” Another coworker once called me weird and handed me a Rice Krispies treat. I think I’m winning at this career game.

Becky: The clueless friend

Jane: The responsible friend

Issa: The funny friend

Me: The friend who disappears for a year and returns with a shaved head, 14 tattoos, 11 cats, and random facts about space or something.

Me: I can’t do the thing. I really can’t do the thing. Omg. Can’t. Do. It.

Someone else: Yeah, you can’t do the thing.

Me: Oh yeah?! Just watch me, asshole. *Does the thing*

Me: I should save money.

Also me: Maybe I should check eBay for Hercules plastic plates from the 1990s because nostalgia.

I was called the “patron saint of awkward girls” when it comes to dating and I’m okay with that.

Is the IT guy winking and waving at me because he suddenly developed social skills or has he hacked my work computer and is amused?

shitborderlinesdo:

This is just a short directory to explain, in one sentence or two, what these concepts mean, and what the use of each skill is by defining it.  Come to this page if you can’t remember what IMPROVE or DEAR MAN stands for, but don’t want to have to read the long post that introduced those skills on SBD.

See the DBT Skills Masterpost for posts that go into each of these skills or sets of skills in depth.

Mindfulness Skills:

• Wise Mind: The Wise Mind is the balance between Emotion Mind and Logic/Reasonable Mind
  
• Observe:Notice without getting caught in the experience.  Experience without reacting to the experience.
  
• Describe:When a feeling or thought arises, or you act, acknowledge it with a description of the thought or action or sensation, etc.  Describe to yourself what is happening and label your feelings.
  
• Participate: Enter into your experiences, act intuitively, be completely immersed in the experience, in the present.
  
• Non-Judgmental:See, but don’t evaluate.  Focus on the “what” happened, not on what “should” or “should not” have happened.
  
• One-Mindful: Focus on the moment–do one thing at a time and completely focus on what you are doing or whom you are with.  Let go of distractions.
  
• Effective:  Do just what is necessary in a situation to achieve your goals.  Focus on what works, and direct your efforts there.  Act skillfully, because the more you practice acting skillfully, the more Effective you will become at attaining your goals.
  

Distress Tolerance Skills:

• STOP: Stop,Take a step back, Observe,Proceed Mindfully
  
• TIP:Temperature,Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing/Paired Muscle Relaxation/Progressive Muscle Relaxation (used to change your level of distress quickly)
  
• Distract using Wise Mind ACCEPTS: Distract yourself with Activities,Contributing,Comparisons,Emotions,Pushing away, Thoughts,Sensations
  
• Self-Soothe: Use the senses (vision, hearing, taste, smell, touch) to soothe your physical self in order to make your emotions less painful.
  
• IMPROVE the Moment: Improve the moment with Imagery,Meaning,Prayer,Relaxation,One thing in the moment, Vacations,Encouragement
  
• Pros and Cons: Examine the short term and long term pros and cons of acting and not acting on your urges/impulses using a chart.
  
• Radical Acceptance/Reality Acknowledgement: Acknowledge what is, let go of fighting or denying reality.  Use TURNING THE MIND to commit to acknowledgement over and over again.
  

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills:

• Clarified Priorities: What is most important to you in this interpersonal interaction 1) Obtaining your objective, 2) Maintaining the relationship, or 3) Maintaining your self-esteem/sense of self-worth
  
• DEAR MAN:Describe,Express,Assert,Reinforce, stay Mindful,Appear confident, Negotiate (used for saying “no” or asking for something; obtaining your objective)
  
• GIVE:BeGentle, act/be Interested,Validate, use an Easy manner (used for maintaining a relationship)
  
• FAST:BeFair, no Apologies,Stick to values, be Truthful (used to maintain your self-esteem/sense of self-worth)
  

Emotion Regulation Skills:

• PLEASE: For reducing vulnerability, treat PhysicaL illness, balance Eating, avoid mood-Alerting drugs (as in street drugs or non-prescription drugs), balance Sleep, get Exercise
  
• ABC: Accumulate Positive Emotions/Experiences: For reducing vulnerabilities in the Short Term: Do pleasant things that are possible now.  For reducing vulnerabilities in the Long Term: Make changes in your life so that positive events will occur more often.  This helps “build a life worth living for you.”
  
• ABC: Build Mastery: Engage in activities that make you feel competent and in control.
  
• ABC: Cope Ahead: Cope ahead of time with emotional situations.  Rehearse a plan ahead of time so that you are prepared to cope skillfully with emotional situations.
  
• Opposite Action: Change emotions by acting opposite to current emotions/urges. Used for when emotions don’t fit the facts of a situation.
  
• Check the Facts: Check out whether your reactions (emotional or behavioural) fit the facts of the situation.  Changing beliefs and assumptions to fit the facts can help you change your emotional reactions to situations.
  
• Problem Solve: When the facts themselves are the problem, solving emotional problems consistently and effectively will reduce the frequency of negative emotions and increase your sense of competency in regards to dealing with these emotions/urges.
  

-Pandora

Self Love Club

I have partnered with Gearbubble a print on demand service to create my own store selling my designs on a variety of different products.

It’s called Self Love Club, as someone whose struggled with mental illness I wanted to create a store around mental health, self care/love & positivity. At some point I’d love to set up my own Etsy or even Shopify selling clothes, art & more but for now I’ve decided to go through Gearbubble themselves and set up a shop front on their website.

If you’d like to check it out click the link above. I currently have one design on 3 different products at the moment but will be uploading more today. If you have any feedback on things such as pricing please do let me know and I’ll see what I can do.

Sinking Like Quicksand

I rusted like metal
left out to the rain.
Neglected I’m left
once again.

With no one to help,
I fell deep into the abyss.

Sinking;

in this quicksand
that pulls me under.
With a seemingly
unending hunger.

Just Another Statistic

I fear I’ll end up
just another number.
Another statistic
on a spreadsheet.

Lost in the wave,
all those souls
forgotten.

Will anyone
remember our names.
What will I become to you?

Just a number;
One hundred and thirty two.
Which one am I to you?


(132 is the average number of suicides every day in America)

do you ever get like. muscle memory but with feelings? like you’re put in a certain situation that you’ve been in before, and suddenly, almost automatically you feel all the feelings you had from your life back when the situation happened last…….

like. it’s. incredibly hard for me to process that people genuinely care for me? and i don’t mean that in a self-pitying way, i mean i actually can’t.people say “i care!” and my brain goes “oh that’s nice” but… i don’t have any emotionalreaction?

it’s like people caring for me is an abstract concept that i can’t feel. like people care for me in theory and my brain knows that, but i don’t actually feel anything

MARS ARGO IS BACK WITH THE BOPS

bpdbobbidiboo:

i wonder what it’s like to get sad without getting suicidal

sickdelights:

Quiet bpd culture is wanting to threat suicide when someone’s leaving you but you’d feel worse cuz you think you’d be manipulating them into taking care of you when they really don’t want to so you just suppress your breakdown and suffer in silence instead

I genuinely never believed I would ever enjoy a big loud party with a bunch of people dancing in close quarters but I’ve apparently come far enough that I was willing to be one of those people last night and have a fantastic time, and I’m so proud of myself for how far I’ve come

Self care? Taking extra care of myself during weeks that are particularly stressful? Myth