#incorrect hogwarts quotes
I accidentally uploaded this to my main lol :/ (I deleted it afterwards btw)
Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw: *arguing over who should go on a dangerous mission*
Slytherin: Guys you’re both too valuable to risk it should be someone expendable…like Gryffindor
Gryffindor: What!!
After accidentally tearing up a page in Ravenclaw’s book
Gryffindor: I did a bad thing.
Slytherin: Does it in anyway impact Me or Huffy negatively??
Gryffindor: Not really.
Slytherin: Then suffer in silence.
Sunday Morning
Slytherin, walking in with a bag of bread: Who wants french toast?
Gryffindor:Ohh, ill have some.
Slytherin, handing the bread to gryffindor: Me too, eggs and milk in the fridge.
Gryffindor: -_-
Gryffindor: I’m a Renaissance Historian.
Ravenclaw:Oh really? Name 4 Renaissance artists.
Gryffindor:Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael.
Ravenclaw: That’s on me, I set the bar too low.
Slytherin: *talking about Gryffindor* is there no way to get rid of them
Ravenclaw: not without cause Slytherin
Slytherin: I have cause it’s beCAUSE I hate them
Ravenclaw : The real question is would you rather fight King Kong or Godzilla?
Slytherin : Godzilla if you give like 5 mins to prepare.
Hufflepuff : Why do you need 5 mins?
Slytherin : Gotta stretch and shit
Just wanna share an illustration of a nice picnic at the owlery before the owls start to shit all over the food
Death Eaters : We’re holding you for ransom!
Ron : Oh no
Harry : How much is the ransom?
Death Eaters : 500.000 galleons
Hermione : That’s absurd!
Y/n : Yeah! That’s absurd!
Y/n : Can you raise it? I’m worth so much more than that
Ron, Harry, Hermione, Death Eaters :
Harry : I’m nervous about today’s quidditch match
Y/n : Against what house?
Harry :Slytherin
Y/n : Don’t worry, snakes have no arms
Draco : I HEARD THAT! *Slithering to the great hall*
George Weasley would be so proud of me.. I AM A QUIDDITCH PLAYER AND A BEATER
With Stamina of 4/10 and strength 5/10
I swear the bludger won’t even move an inch when i hit it
Mcgonagall : I have a very important mission for all of you! Severus,Fred, George, Y/n
Snape : Me included?
Mcgonagall : Yes! Silence, Severus!
Y/n : What do you want us to do?
Fred : Whatever that is-
George : We will accept!
Snape : I WILL NOT ACC-
Mcgonagall : Prank Umbridge for me
Snape : I would love to do it and will do it right now
Triwizard tournament first task
Dragon : Roar roar!
Harry :*standing nervously*
Hermione : YOUR WAND HARRY! USE YOUR WAND!
Harry :*throw his wand at the dragon*
Sorry i was just so busy these couple dayssssss and super long delays on answering your asks :((((((
Y/n : Hermione, please do something with my book
Hermione : What is wrong with it?
Y/n : George charmed it, at first it was sweet, now my eardrums can’t take it anymore
Hermione :*opening the book*
Book :
Y/n : I think Remus has an unhealthy obsession towards chocolate
Remus : I am not obsessed with it!
Sirius : Did you forget when James shit on his pants back in first year because of you!?
Remus : I just want to buy your chocolate!
Sirius : IT DID NOT LOOK LIKE THAT!
Y/n : What happened?
Sirius : THIS HAPPENED!!
True crime
Gryffindor: I got arrested for being too cool
Slytherin: all charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence
Hufflepuff: I bet I could fit the whole world in my hands!
Slytherin: Hufflepuff, that’s physically impossible.
Hufflepuff: *cups Slytherin’s face* Are you sure?
Slytherin: *blushing* Stop it, I have a reputation.
Send me your spiciest house confessions
For me, slytherin confession: sometimes not feeling very ambitious about something makes me question me sense of ambition at all.
¿Por que no Las dos?
…
The red circle on the calendar glared at her mockingly. Game Night. The lady in the picture on the calendar litterally glared at her and she took that as her cue to stop staring at a wall and stalling and just go play a stupid game.
They’d been asking about it for months after she accidentally mentioned playing the game with her family on vacations. Her muggle family. She didn’t hate her family or even her status as a “muggleborn student”. But in slytherin, she heard it could be a touchy subject. Anywho.
She grabbed the cardboard box and headed into the common room.
The noise of about a dozen children, caffeinated at nearly midnight on a Friday, was enough to get her spirits higher.
“Who’s ready for Monopoly, Bitches!”
A mixture of excited responses and reprimands for cursing came at twice the volume. Beaming excitedly (albeit a bit nervous) she took up her throne at the end of the table, proudly donning the Game Master cape, and began explaining the rules of the game. Everyone seemed so excited. Their arguement over the player pieces. The multiple death threats. So many people in jail. At some point, one of the older students brought out a large box that they promptly marked as the jail. Yes it was used.
“Just so you know, I’m going to remember this next week when people start asking for notes or study help for finals.” A rather disgruntled ravenclaw threatened to deaf ears from the jail.
“Just so you know, maybe you shouldn’t have bought my last property, loser.” A first year at the end of the table shot back, earning a round of laughter from everyone at the table.
“This is one the the best game nights weve had in a really long time. You’re malicious! And to think we thought you might belong to hufflepuff.” To her right, her best friend teased where only they could hear.
“To think I was afraid people would think this game was stupid. It’s just.. well is a sill little-” flustered, she stumbled over her grasp of vocabulary.
“No one would ever make fun of you because it’s a muggle game. It’s a fun game, you got travis to sit in a cardboard box for 23 minutes. Any game that can do that is a good game in my book. No matter where it came from.” Her best friend proudly declared, rolling the dice.
The laughter fell.
There was a silence as everyone counted the number of spaces and terror filled their expressions.
Her best friend solemnly moved a little metal caricature onto one of her properties. With great care. “Mate. Ol pal. Mi amigo. We can talk about this.”
Muggle born or not, a slytherin is a slytherin.
“Nah. Pay up, mate.”
Nobody likes quarantine
Slytherin, on facetime: so. How strict have you been about social distancing
Hufflepuff: oh I havent gone anywhere or seen anyone. I’ve been really careful.
Slytherin: really?
Hufflepuff: yea.
Slytherin: ok im coming over
First day
Slytherin: yea it’s going alright. I made 4 new friends and only killed 1 of them so
Currently Taking Applications
Ravenclaw: So what do you usually look for in a girl?
Slytherin: A pulse
Just wash your hands
Gryffindor, unironically: A scrunchie a day keeps the Corona away
Ravenclaw: I cannot begin to describe the millions of ways that is so not correct
Flip Grid
Slytherin, recording a video response for class: Hey everyone. I really don’t know what to do so I’m just going to do a flip
*flips off bunk*
Slytherin: I hope yall enjoyed that
Trash talk
Slytherin, handing over an empty plate: here, you’re a garbage.
Hufflepuff: excuse me I am recycling. I still have some value left
Next Gen
Graduated slytherin student: She’s on that Disclosure or whatever…
7th year slytherin: Do you mean Discord?
Left On Read
Gryffindor: I think you like to tease me~
Slytherin to a Ravenclaw: Bro I’m not even fucking responding.
