#incorrect mcu quotes
Me: I love Lok-
A swarm of assholes, emerging from the shadows, in perfect unison: You know he’s dead right
Steve: Did you just flirt with me?
Bucky: Have been since the Great Depression but thanks for noticing.
Tony: Harley, we need to talk about-
Harley: The building was already on fire when I got there.
Tony:What?
Harley:What?
*trying to break into Steve’s house*
Sam: It’s locked!
Bucky: What do you mean it’s locked?
Sam: What do you mean ‘what do I mean’? When I say it’s locked, it’s locked! How many definitions of ‘locked’ are there?
Bruce: This coffee is very hot.
Clint:Yes.
Natasha: So you wouldn’t pour it on your body.
Clint:Correct.
Steve: So you wouldn’t pour it down your thro-
Clint, already drinking it: Oh shit that ouches!
Clint: I overslept.
Kate: It’s 4:30 in the afternoon.
Stephen: It’s dark in here.
Y/N: Don’t worry dude I got this!
Y/N: *Stomps their feet*
Y/N: *Skechers light up*
Stephen:
Stephen:*Pats Y/N on the head* and this is why I married you.
Loki:You look so cute when you’re angry…
Y/N:*glares at him*
Loki:Okay, not when you’re angry with me…
Bucky:What happens if I press the gas and the break at the same time ?
Zemo: The car takes a screenshot.
Y/N & Sam: Pull over and let us out of the car RIGHT NOW!
Strange: this jar is definitely magical and has weird vibes
Strange: I’m gonna open it
Everett: Vibranium can do so many amazing things
Everett: And yet the best my country could come up with was “glorified frisbee”
Everett: I’ve nearly died once this week, what’s a few more times?
Everett: My life is a soap opera, and I’m a supporting character
Thor: I’m sad
Jane: *hugs him*
Bruce: *turns to Natasha* I’m sad
Natasha:mood
Zemo: I want to die in your arms
Bucky: that’s both touching and concerning
Bucky: are you okay?
Sam (to Walker): Penny for your thoughts?
Bucky: Don’t waste your money
Bucky and Zemo: *planning* And most importantly, Sam can’t find out
Sam: *walks in* Sam can’t find out about what?
Zemo: *shoves stack of notes out of Sam’s line of sight*
Bucky: Nothing. It’s fine. Absolutely nothing you need to worry about!
Sam:
Zemo: I’m home, tired, and wealthy
it’s ok he deserves to brood for a while
