hiiiii so yesterday i binged but i got back on track today thankfully so that’s good i think?? i’m going to have a cheat day on wednesday as it’s my last day at TAFE and we are having a party to finish off the term then i’m seeing my best friend on the weekend so i’m only restricting on monday (today), tuesday, thursday and fingers crossed friday as well. i’ll keep you updated anyways!
some family members came around on christmas and they were pointing out that i lost weight and that my legs look skinner, i honestly was being harsh with my eating for only about 2 weeks and it feels great that people notice a difference already - i can’t wait to see how i look in a month. tbh i noticed some difference but they were tiny, i realised that my collar bones are more noticeable and my hips literally make sleeping uncomfortable because of how they poke out now but i didn’t see any difference in my legs.
i ate whatever i want on christmas because i know i would seem suspicious if i didn’t and i think i honestly deserve it as i’ve been eating less than 400 calories daily, the day after that i kind of binged again but it wasn’t as bad and it was mainly on healthy food so i didn’t feel great but it wasn’t completely bad. today i fasted and feel in control again, i love the feel of hunger - it’s so addicting and comforting.
i don’t know what’s going on but my appetite is basically non existent right now, i mean i am not complaining what so ever. i became so picky with food and half of it now grosses me out - and even if i do start craving something i can easily turn in down or usually actually have it because i don’t eat much anyways. i don’t know how long will this last but if this is because of all energy drink that i’m drinking then at least i know what i got to do.
anyways, merry christmas to all of you who celebrate it!
Hey lovelies, I know I stopped posting for a little while, my mental health has been shit and a way to comfort myself is obviously to eat a shit ton, because when I feel like I lost control I do everything that makes the feeling 10x worse, it makes no fucking sense - I know. Anyways, i’m gonna try and restrict as much as possible today, wish me luck!
Ugh, I binged yesterday on snacks. I feel so pathetic now, I didn’t count it either. I just ate anything that was in front of me. I will probably eat anything I want for today too because I’ve lost count of how many calories I ate and then fast tomorrow and highly restrict the next day with a workout. I won’t get anything if I give up so easily.
Today was a little rough, I had a pretty bad headache for most of the day and had urges to go past my calorie limit but I somehow survived and didn’t do it. I hope that this is only because I’ve just started restricting seriously again and with some time and practice I will have more self control and not give up like I usually do :/
Yesterday, was the first day of me going back to consciously restricting. Before my full relapse I use to still restrict but kind of lie about it to myself. I’d use anything to justify why I’m not eating, to myself mostly but I’d binge at the end of the day anyways. Now that I came to terms that I’m relapsing and truly accept the fact why I’m restricting it seems to be going quite well.
I did an all nighter yesterday to finish all my schoolwork and I had two online classes in the morning, I really had no time for food but my mom gave me a nectarine and as I love fruit I obviously took it. I then went to bed after my two online classes as I was so fucking tired, I basically slept through the whole day and in the evening just ate a doghnut. That was it. I think I did pretty well to be honest for my first day but I know that more into the week I’ll start to struggle, it’s always been like that which I’m so mad at myself for. I never seem to carry on doing stuff or give up way too easily.
