#tua klaus

five: i hate you with every inch of my being

diego: thats not alot of inches

klaus: *cackling* you should NOT have said that

klaus: you need to remember to love yourself.

ben: but don’t you hate yourself?

klaus: yes but this is about you, stay focused.

klaus: *gets pulled over by a cop*

klaus: officer, i’m colorblind. i didn’t know it was a red light.

cop: okay, but you stole this car.

dave: i need you

klaus: for?

dave: -ever.

klaus: *voice cracking* oH.

klaus and five are both the wine aunts but consider:

five as the classy red-wine aunt who could kill you with a raised eyebrow

klaus as the actually addicted aunt who is just the butt of all the jokes- oh wait

thats just the plot, sorry ignore me

my headcanons for the hargreeves siblings:

luther- straight, also never bothered trying anything else bc thE MOON

diego- bi boi, he just likes b a d a s s e s

allison- straight but girls are super pretty and she’d try it out if the right one showed up

klaus- ultimate pan, also open to a poly relationship bc he rlly likes comfort cuddles

five- he’s ace, bc after all those years alone he just can’t deal with people and hasn’t ever been interested

ben- gay but he died too early to ever have fun

vanya- biromanic but in all honesty, pretty people scare her and she’d rather not

ben: you’re an idiot.

klaus: thanks, why tho?

Watching Disney.

klaus: please?

diego: no.

klaus: pretty please?

diego: no.

klaus: *pouting*

diego: *heavy sigh* fine.

klaus: *puts mickey mouse ears on diego*

criminal: we have your brother.

diego: which one?

criminal: uh, wears skirts? talks to himself? smudged eyeliner?

diego: ah, you’ll bring him back within the hour.

criminal: what?

diego: trust me.

diego: *hangs up.*

I feel like Vanya is the person to apologise to a mannequin if she bumps into it.

On the other end of the scale, Klaus is the person who strokes the clothing on a mannequin before realising it is a real person.

Luther: sit up straight

Klaus: HOW DARE YOU! I will sit as gay as I please

-Umbrella Academy-

Finished watching S2~~~  

klaus: if i punch myself and it hurts, am i weak or strong?

vanya:strong

diego:weak

five: an idiot is what you are