This is a little comic I made about the journey I went through in discovering that I’m ace and coming out. It’s drawn in the same simple style I used for my hourlycomics, which is really only a step above thumbnails, but I wanted to go ahead and share it. At some point I plan to redraw it properly for my comic siteandTapastic account, and maybe even print it!
One thing about the comic’s timeline that I wanted to address… When I first came out as ace on social media last November, I actually did come out as demisexual. But since that time, I gained a greater understanding of both myself and the ace and aro spectrums, and realized that demiromantic ace was a much more accurate fit for me.
In the months that followed my coming out as ace on social media, I slowly began coming out to close family and friends in real life. I was worried about how the people closest to me would react, but it’s gone pretty well so far!
I made this comic to address the doubts, questions, and confusing aspects of myself that made it so hard to understand or explain how I felt before I found the ace community. I especially wanted to represent those who, like me, didn’t realize they were ace for years because they were misinformed or didn’t even know it was an option… who fall into the gray area of the ace spectrum or aren’t sure how to define their asexuality… who worry about whether they’re “ace enough” because they’re gray ace, sex favorable, or both. I hope this comic helps any fellow aces who feel like they can relate to it! :)
(And BTW… any flames from discoursers about my support for ace inclusion in the LGBTQIA+ community will be used to toast marshmallows and then deleted.) ;)
It’s National Coming Out Day, so I thought I’d give this comic a reblog! It tells the story of my journey of self-discovery, questioning, and coming out as demiromantic ace. :)
[ID: a series of images of two pride flags fused together down the centre. The flags are: 1978 rainbow & bisexual, aromantic & bisexual, nblm & bisexual, nblw & bisexual, aro ace spec by @aroaceworms & bisexual, aro ace by @aroaceworms & bisexual, aroace & bisexual, aro allo & bisexual, greysexual & bisexual, greyromantic & bisexual. End ID.]
Hey folx, have you been thinking about picking up some of my dice pride jewellery? Well, I’ve gone ahead and put the discount up to a tasty 25% for June! Get ‘em while they’re hot.
Aromantic Identity and the Aromantic Spectrum - Pamphlet #4
Update:Due to errors in the original file and an accident on a team member’s part, the original version of this post was deleted. The mistakes have been corrected. Apologies for the inconvenience!
A pamphlet on aromantic and aro spectrum people and identities! It’s very similar to the asexuality pamphlet, but has many key differences. It’s free to download!
[Image Description: A preview of a pamphlet entitled “Aromantic Identity & the Aro Spectrum, with the front and back laid out side-by-side. There is a summary, disclaimer, and helpful resources on the left page and sections titled “Aromantic Terms,” “Being Aromantic,” and “Understanding Aro Identity” on the right. The smaller text is too blurry to read. The entire pamphlet has a dark green, light green, and gray color scheme.]
Aromantic Identity & the Aro Spectrum version 1.1
This is an updated version of an earlier pamphlet on the same subject included in the original run of Queer Condensed. It serves as a basic overview of aromantic identity with definitions, validation for aro, arospec, and questioning readers, explanations of stereotypes, online resources, and more.
Updates are pretty extensive, including a formatting change, addition of “alloromantic” definition, color switch of yellow to gray to reflect the more commonly used aromantic flag, large portions of rewritten text, and minor changes to the suggested resources.
I could not have made this updated pamphlet without help from readers sending in corrections and suggestions. As someone who isn’t aro, the information that @aphobephobeand@kdkorz10211 provided was indispensable. I also want to thank them and @shes-cured for beta-reading it as well.
This work is free for noncommercial use as long as credit is given. The original Publisher files can be requested via ask or email if you’d like to edit the pamphlet yourself.
The text can be read below the readmore, formatted in the intended reading order.
Front Panel:
Aromantic Identity & the Aro Spectrum, A Condensed Guide
Produced by Queer Condensed, queercondensed.tumblr.com
Version 1.1
Inside Flap
Summary
Aromantic identity is often lumped in with asexual identity, but the two are very different and deserve separate materials. In this pamphlet we focus on the former and look at what “aromantic” and “aromantic spectrum” means, the many types of love that exist outside of romantic love, some of the struggles and stereotypes of aromantic people, and how unique each aromantic person is from the next. We stress that aromantic people are complex and should not be boiled down to their romantic feelings as they often are.
A reminder: if you are aromantic, on the aromantic spectrum, or questioning your identity, you are valid and amazing!
Disclaimer
Queer Condensed is meant to be a guide, but in no way is anything in our pamphlets definitive. It’s hard to be definitive when you’re dealing with a subject that’s so subjective. Take what you read as an introduction and maybe check out the provided resources or ask people open to taking questions if you want to know more.
Published on August 12th, 2017
Leftmost Interior: Aromantic Terms
“Aromantic” is an identity that indicates a lack of romantic attraction towards others. Along with this, there’s the idea of the “aromantic spectrum,” or a range of other identities that are similar to aromanticism. Some of those identities are included on this list of aromantic-related terms.
Aro / Arospec
Short for “aromantic” and “aromantic spectrum”
Grayaromantic / Grayromantic
An arospec identity; someone who has infrequent or hard-to-define romantic attraction towards others
Demiaromantic / Demiromantic
An arospec identity; someone who needs a strong bond with another before feeling romantic attraction towards them
Alloromantic
Someone who is not aro / arospec
Queer/Quasi-Platonic Relationship (QPR)*
A relationship between two people that is not romantic, but stronger or more intimate than friendship
Squish*
An aromantic or platonic version of a romantic crush
Sexual orientation *
How someone identifies in relation to who they’re attracted to sexually; different from romantic orientation
*People who are not aro can also use these terms
Middle Interior: Being Aromantic
Aros and arospec people are frequently forgotten about or misunderstood, even in LGBT communities, but their lives and identities deserve attention.
Society places a lot of stress on the idea of romance and relationships, but that doesn’t mean aro people are without feelings. Many aro people find love and companionship in different ways, including friendships and QPRs. Some aro people even enter into romantic relationships with partners that understand that the feelings may not be the same on all ends. Some aros don’t make connections at all, but that doesn’t make them broken.
Each aro person’s experiences are unique. Some like physical affection, some find that too romantic or simply don’t want it. Some are open and proud of their identity, and for some it’s just a personal trivia fact. Some discover their identity early in life and others realize much later. Some find love in non-romantic ways, others don’t feel any sort of desire for it. There is no “right way” to be aro or arospec, just as there’s no “right way” to be other identities.
Talking About or To Aro People
Aro people are the judges of their own identity. Do not assume or say that an aro person will find the “right person” some day and stop being aro. This implies that the aro person is just going through a phase or can’t figure out their own attraction.
Rightmost Interior: Understanding Aro Identity
Alloromantic people often question or ridicule aro identities because of a lack of understanding. This usually comes from the belief that romantic relationships or feelings are vital to being human when they’re really not. Not everyone goes about having romantic feelings in the exact same way, so aro people aren’t an abnormality, just experiencing feelings that are uncommon. If it doesn’t bother the aro person, it shouldn’t be of concern to anyone else.
Common stereotypes of aro people include that they are being difficult, they are bad at socializing, they are incapable of feelings, those that have sexual relationships are manipulative, and they are unhappy. Consider that these stereotypes ignore these kinds of love:
* Platonic * Parental * Sexual
* Familial * Aesthetic * Queerplatonic
These ideas also make it seem like humans can be boiled down to how we engage in romantic relationships, which just isn’t true. Thinking only in terms of who one loves is incredibly limiting and harmful to those who don’t experience certain/any types of love.
Aro and arospec people are in need of kindness and understanding as they navigate a world unforgiving to them, not an insistence that their feelings are wrong. Prejudice and unearned anger are wrong, not them.
Our pamphlet on asexuality has many resources that, although not aro-specific, contain information about the aro community. Check it out for a few more websites to look at!
Thank You!
This updated version of this material couldn’t have been done without reader input, especially that of Tumblr users Aphobephobe and Kdkorz10211
*This blog is no longer active, but the information is still relevant
✦ Like my art? Consider supporting me: Ko-fi. For custom art for personal use, view my Commission Info. For graphic design/art for business purposes, i.e to make profit from reselling the work as a product, using it for advertising/promotion, etc., view my Contract Details on my website: emilylaj.com/contract-details. ✦
[ID: Each image holds multiple versions of an illustration of Saturn on a space background that fades to white at the corners. Saturn is comprised of wavy lines of varying thicknesses, heights, and amounts of hills, and lines of ovals at varying heights and amounts. All these are on a semi-transparent constellation and ghost background. End description.]
Alfred is the straight supportive grandpa, he is a great ally and everyone loves him, he makes the best rainbow cookies
Bruce is a disaster bisexual dad with a preference for women
Dick is a disaster pansexual icon, this man does not give two fucks about gender, he just loves to love everyone
Barbara is either bisexual or the best straight ally(second place to Alfred, of course)
Jason is pansexual and Polyamorous, his datemates are great and he loves them with all his heart
Tim is a chaotic gay with a coffee addiction and bad sleep habits, Kon always has to make sure that he takes care of himself
Steph is a raging chaotic bisexual, she’s like a Golden Retriver, must protect her at all costs
Cass is the best, I love Cass, she’s my smol bean and nobody’s allowed to touch her… she is either a lesbian icon or an asexual icon… or both… in any case Cassandra Cain is an icon
Damian is asexual and I also see him as demiromantic (also, I’m pretty sure him and Jon have something, it’s so pure and wholesome I just love it)
Duke Thomas, my baby is pansexual, another smol bean that must be protected at all costs… also, I think he is Non-Binary, but he uses he/him or he/they pronouns
Selina is the bisexual mom
And of course, as everyone should know this by now, Kate Kane, our lesbian wine aunt/gay cousin, honestly she’s the best, she will kick butt if someone tries to insult/disrespect you
I’m demiromantic which means I’m attracted to no one and can’t see myself in a romantic situation at all, EXCEPT if it’s with this one person I’m really close to. I trust them with my life, they know me inside out and would absolutely let my romantic desires become true with them . Yes, I’m still part of the aromantic spectrums! To anyone else who has ever felt like they don’t belong or been told that they don’t belong in the aro spec bc they experience romantic feelings and desire: you are part of the aromantic community too . That’s literally why there’s a spectrum! You’re welcome ️
romantic gestures and scenarios are uncomfortable to picture in my head with a person I don’t know anything about like celebrities or a cute person from my school, nope. crushes aren’t something I experience .
you can say I’m mostly romance indifferent. but being demiromantic means that when I do form that emotional bond with someone and the romantic feelings arise, then those romantic scenarios in my head make more sense to imagine with them, the person that I’m falling for… I guess that’s why now I feel more romance favorable, bc the romantic feelings are here. Maybe not as intense as an alloromantic person experiences it… but yeah. Shoutout to fellow romance favorable aros
you know what’s better than being told you’re pretty and beautiful? someone telling you they love your brain and admire your intellect. you’ve bought me. I’m all yours now
