please don’t fall out of love with me

forever doesn’t sound so scary when it’s with you

(Whenever I ask “What is love” someone always responds by referencing the song. And it irritates me. So please don’t.)

One of the lovely things this class has tried to do is get us to examine our own and others ideas about love, sex, and intimacy and challenge us to recognize that there are many different viable scripts for love. To me, love is often a choice: a conscious decision made once or continuously to behave in a certain manner to someone. A connection built up over time. This term though, I discovered that love also really is an emotion.

I had rejected the idea of love as an emotion because when most people use the term “love” as an emotional verb, they often refer to what I call the “superficial” fluff of initial attraction. Passion is important to a relationship. So is attraction. But the “googoo-gaga I’m so crazy about this person” crush that fangirls get over popstar icons is not love. Neither is the over-the-top, shallow portrayal by most love songs that are popular are the radio today (notable exceptions being “All of Me” by John Legend, “True Love” by P!nk, “I Choose You” by Sara Bareilles - “Marry You” by Bruno Mars, “Love Song” by Taylor Swift, etc. are awful portrayals of ‘real love.’).

The first person who “loved me” didn’t tell me so until two years after the fact, because he had decided for himself that the relationship could never work (we were friends at the time). The second person is now my fiancé.

I’ve said “I love you” to friends, family, and of course, to my significant other, but most of the time, it’s been motivated not by the moment but more the lasting relationship, in the sense that if my best friend does something for me, I might say “I love you” but it’s not because of what she just did, but more because it’s one in a series of loving gestures.

Recently though, there have been times with my fiancé where I just say, “I love you” because that’s the only word that really describes how I'm feeling. And I’d never experienced that before. I’m happy, but it’s not just happy. It’s not just contentment. It’s a feeling of, “I’m so happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with you, this moment is so perfect I wish I could just freeze it, but I don’t need to because something about this, the two of us, just feels so right. A lot of people I’ve asked about "how do you know when you’ve met 'the One’” frequently answer, “you just know.” “It’s something you’ll know when you know.” And I’ve always thought that was the most bogus answer ever. It doesn’t say anything! But now… I don’t know… I really do feel like it’s something you have to experience. But for me, this really is the definition of love - at least, as an emotion. Certainly I still retain all my other ideas & ideals about love, but this feeling, that I think is innate and natural and universal, I really do believe this is love. And it’s really exciting for me to see that.

Because if this is what love feels like, this intimate, deep connection with another individual, then it really can’t be bound by gender or number of times, because you don’t stop feeling sad or happy just because you think you should, it doesn’t stop being happy or sad because things change. In that moment, when you feel this strange union of souls, when you look at the other person and the only words in our American English language that can describe it is “I love you” then that is love. And for me, it answers the question of “can you feel love multiple times” because if love is that emotion, then obviously, yes you can.

And maybe this isn’t “love” and this is only “my definition” but given what people have said across many cultures and stories, I think I have fairly good corroboration.

It’s just funny, because this has been an unanswered question for so long, but for me, this term, I’ve finally found my answer. And that is pretty neat.  =)

what the actual fuck is love,, like yeah i’m kinda joking but also like,,, how do i know if i’ve been in love and how do i know if i am in love,, like ??? anyways i’m going to go watch karl jacobs play roblox now

fromBeast with Flowers

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LOVE Pt. 8

God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So you should always clothe yourselves with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. Even more than all this, clothe yourself in love. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity. Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking because you were all called together in one body to have peace. Always be thankful.
Colossians 3:12-15

Are similarities or differences more appealing? What’s the right balance of the two?

You’ve been hurt so much by the people that were supposed to love you that you forget what real love looks like.

MK Ireland #253 : scars

Love is a sweaty boy with crooked teeth and smelly feet. A butt chin. And greasy hair. 

Love is a boy who sleeps in the crack of the two twin beds you pushed together so that he can cuddle up next to you. Love is a boy who sweats in the corner of the bed so that you can have the fans on you. Love is sharing his twin sized bed because now you have a roommate. 

Love is a boy with long hair and a beautiful face. With delicate hands. And pretty eyes. A scent that consumes you. Love is a boy who sees you and not your scars.

You knew you were in love when you were able to look him in the eyes and smile as he was passionate and gentle with you. When he wanted to tell you something and you knew it had to be that he felt the same way but you were scared. You did feel the same way. You should have just said it so that he didn’t have to feel so scared. You didn’t. But in that moment you loved him more for not saying it, for thinking about how you might feel and respecting the possibility.

To know him is to know love.

Tzuyu wink~