#excerpt from a book ill never finish
In the end I realized you weren’t the one for me, but damn, I really wanted you to be.
I still remember how beautiful you and I were. Our love radiating off our faces. Back when the world was still alive.
All the breathless moments turned ice cold and with each breath came a thorn in the heart.
You can’t love yourself if you hurt others.
I could feel the hate radiating from her. I could see it in her eyes. I knew she didn’t recognize me anymore. Of course she didn’t. Who was I? Nothing. I had known it for quite a long time. I had seen the flashes of that monster inside of me, gradually becoming more prominent day by day.
I was sure though. I was sure that I would never hurt her, my princess, my girl. Yet here she was, standing in front of me, begging for mercy, asking to let her go.
“Show her what you can do. Show her the power you hold over her.” Said the voice I had been trying to fight for months. It always got the best of me.
Not today. I thought. With my heart breaking and my soul dying, I asked her to leave. I couldn’t look her in the eye. But I saw the hurt cross her face. Like she was expecting me to stop her from leaving.
*Trust me baby, I want to.*
I didn’t say a word though. She stood there for a few minutes, trying to find the person she had loved her whole life. I had been trying to find that person as well. And then suddenly, she started walking away. Her footsteps matching the pace of my heart breaking into tiny shards.
Yes, I loved her.
Yes, I had let her go.
As fall knocks on the door
In his honour
All the leaves fall
And those proud trees
Stand naked and tall
Flowers droop down
Like guilt-ridden children
Everything goes still
As growth is thralled
Nostalgia hangs in the air
Felt by all
The words of my soul,
I scrawl
Children play in yellow fields
As sons of the soil wait for spring
The land is deceived
With a promise
No one seems to keep
She wants her children
In her lap
And wants to see them grow
But all she gets, are dried leaves
The burden of loss hangs in the air
Felt by all
The words of my soul,
I scrawl
~Shubhaa
I wanted to say a lot of things. But all I could speak was his name.
~Shubhaa
