While I was walking hand in hand with another soul. You approached me, after shouting my name. My breathing became heavy because you murdered my heart nearly half a year ago. You proceeded to look into my eyes, once my favorite image. And speak to the guy, whose hand I was holding. You said to him “ I loved this girl with all of my heart and I still do, I was planning on marrying her one day but I did not think that I was making her as happy as I should have been so I left her for a girl that would not care anything about me, a girl that I could not hurt. I regretted losing her weeks after I made the biggest mistake of my life. I think about her everyday. So please take care of her heart and love her endlessly like I should have. Please love her for me There is no other girl out there like her, trust me I know.” and then you walked away. 

I may never love someone the way I loved you. My heart may always have a weird ache when I think of you. but it has been over 365 days without you, so I think it’s best if I say goodbye.

Goodbye, my beautiful misery.

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.

-Iain Thomas

It’s not like I didn’t see this coming. I had been given signs. Why did this take me by surprise? He wasn’t my first love, but I believed him unlike anyone else. The part that hurts is the part I never thought I had to worry about. I knew he would move on. That isn’t anything I would lose sleep over. I didn’t think it would be someone I knew And that neither her nor him would mention how they met. Through me. I hated hearing in detail what had happened. I hate that I feel hurt. I shouldn’t even care. Maybe this will motivate me to move on and really get serious about someone. Someone that I had long ago written off as someone I could never get, but fuck it my heart is already broken what more is there to lose?

“slowly moving on”

“stronger now”

“And although I love you

So deeply and so desperately

And although I cannot stop myself

from clinging to the thought of you loving me too,

a part of me wants to run

wants to hold my middle finger up

and curse the day you were born

And leave you

Far behind.”

This moment was actually the scene that started this entire comic. I couldn’t sleep one night March of 2020 and started thinking about Swiftpaw and for some reason, this scene always stuck with me. I don’t like it as much now, but it is pretty cool that it’s done! (SC only had around six months of preproduction before I started scripting and thumbnailing pages. Not smart, would not recommend.)

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“Heartbreak is a painful and ugly but beautiful process.”

— I never before saw myself this strong and beautiful.

nope, thanks.

but you still matter the most by the time i go to sleep

Moving to Reddit. BestBoy88

Okay followers, i will be moving previous posts and anything new to Reddit. The username is BestBoy88. Thanks for following and enjoying here.

The window in the living is a wide 3m long, 2m high affair, with a view from the second story of an otherwise mediocre apartment block. The view however. My word.

The soft summer evening brings the chirping and singing of birds, the warm breeze and the smell of the well-kept park wafting through the windows. Vibrant greens and the stark white and red brick of the buildings across the street peak from among the verdant swathe in our three by two fresco.

Lazily I rest my feet upon the varnished oak table, rest my hands serenely in my lap and gaze blissfully at the setting sun. The clearest light blue of the sky is streaked with furious red and burning oranges. Licks of pink and deep violet are subtle among the spill of sunset across the late sky. I find that my eyes idly trace the ripples and lines of natural colour to the simmering hemisphere between the conifers.

I have seen almost 120 such spectacles in this beautiful place. Each unique and never once have I found boredom disrupting my enjoyment of it. Some were subdued, some subtle, some flaring across the expanse, some brief but brilliant to behold.

In a month’s time these sunsets, these particular sunsets - these that I have experienced in each season with each of their distinct flavours, in thoughtful silence or exuberant chatter with a beloved friend - they will become only something of mind, something found in remembrance.

I guess it saddens me bring an end to such a path. For the last three years I have struggled through institutions to complete something for which I can secure my future. During this time I found that it is all a game, something huge but with many games between. It is something profoundly interesting, enrapturing and infinitely intricate. But as my knowledge of the law and its surrounds developed, so did my philosophy.

In the end, I suppose, it was my principles that won out.

So here I sit, bathed in fading light. What next I wonder?

-

-

Something Goooood: Skyphos - Just Glide

This has been something on my mind for a long time now and something that is very difficult to write. After two years, I am ending Visible Spectrum.

There are a few reasons why. The main reason being that I no longer really get anything out of the project. The format of Visible Spectrum can be and has been very stressful to keep up with and is very restrictive in what I’m able to make. It doesn’t give me a lot of room to try new things and make the music I really want to. It was a fun studio project that I learned a lot from and had fun doing but at this point in my musical life it becomes very difficult to find passion for it.

The other main reason is a struggle to find an audience. I’ve been struggling to find a foothold and grow the project. I’ve been thinking a lot about what a content creator I look up to said in a podcast once: “As much as it was a passion project, if I kept doing this and it wasn’t going anywhere, I’d probably be moving on to something else.” Unfortunately right now, as much as I love making music for fun, the amount of time, stress, and work that goes into the project isn’t producing the results I would hope it would. That doesn’t mean it was a waste of time, but just that I feel like it’s time for me to move on to other things.

That being said, there still are a few new songs that are coming out. The last two Gatewatch themes for Voice of All will still be coming out, and I may still make music for the podcast, just not under the name Visible Spectrum. Finally, I have a song for Ixalan I want to finish just because I feel like it needs to get finished. It’s going to be by far the biggest undertaking of the project and will be a good way to send it off.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the many people who have shown support for me and my music over the years. I’m extremely lucky even one person ever listened to any of it and the fact that people have decided to follow me and my work is amazing to me. I will still be around on Tumblr and will still be posting about Magic (I’m not quitting the game!). I’ll also be leaving my music up in case anyone wants to continue to listen to it. If you want to keep up with other music I make, follow my production page @countersongproductions.

Tagging people that have helped me a lot through this and who would find this relevant. Thank you all for everything. I’m eternally grateful for the friendships I’ve made and the people that have helped me grow with this project. Always feel free to message me here or on Facebook.

@ravnican@magus-of-the-color-pie@sarkhan-volkswagen@voiceofallmtg@pepperapb@flavoracle@blogging-phelddagrif

brightwanderer:

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

More erotica and stuff. You can check it out here:

http://melancholiloquy.tumblr.com/