#nosugar

Yep, it’s a thing. It’s happening. Currently on day three with my boyfriend, and of course that time of the month is like hey, hi, how are you, fancy seeing you here BLEEDY BLEEDY.

I have had a problem being consistent. There is always an excuse, you know? I am stressed today, eat eat, week of eating healthy, something bad happens, stress eat, etc. Life has been hard for a lot of us this year. I don’t feel that it is an excuse for poor eating, but just to express all that has been going on:

April: Was on mandated quarantine from employer due to being exposed to someone with Covid. We live with Phillips’ parents (technically grandparents), and long story short, after getting threats from family Phillip wasn’t comfortable with us staying there. So, we lived in my parents’ detached garage for a week and a half…let me paint a picture for you, in case you don’t live in Pennsylvania.

It snowed. It was COLD (at least 80% of the time). Even my friggin’ blood of the dragon Targaryen of a boyfriend who is a heater himself was cold most of the time. The garage has a heater in it, however even at full blast the highest temperature we could achieve was 60 degrees. We slept in a van that was parked in the garage, and had to keep our very rambunctious cat in the van with us (we were afraid of him getting loose in the garage and eating something he shouldn’t or hurting himself on any tools like saw blades etc). My spring allergies were in full bloom, and it was a daily struggle with what I can only assume was asthma. Difficulty breathing, worsened by the cold and by our cat (yes, I am allergic to cats). Constantly drinking tea to feel warmth and to open my airways but not getting much relief. Anyway, I am rambling with too many details but April was rough!

May: Back to living in a warm house and thankfully haven’t received any more threats. Our main goal of 2020 was to get a house to finally call our own, and with realtors closed that was impossible. In May, they opened! We looked at a few houses, picked a house we lovedddd, life was looking up…

Someone outbid us on the house. And a few days later, Phillip lost his job.

You know that feeling of having the wind completely knocked out of you? That has been 2020 in a nutshell. Also when you pick yourself up so many times yet get continually knocked down.

We are trying. That’s all we can do. I try to stay positive, and accept what I cannot change. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Phillip doesn’t. Every time we get pushed into the mud even further, it gets harder and harder to not listen to him. I keep waiting for the perfect opportunity to start back to eating healthy, and not looking to food as an outlet in these difficult times.

There is never going to be a perfect time, a moment where something bad isn’t going to happen and throw us off our horse. But I am going to control what I can control, and that is what food I put into my mouth, and how I treat myself. I need to be strong for myself and for Phillip, who is in a darker place than I am right now.

That got really serious! Sorry…but anyway, doing no sugar for a month to kick start things. Also doing Weight Watchers. Join me on my journey if you want. I need to get in the habit of posting more personal updates more frequently. ^^; I hope that wherever you are in life, that you aren’t letting life get you down either. Don’t give up on yourself. I won’t.