I decided to throw my hat into the Pride Month Art ring! So, I drew an Asexual Pride Unicorn.
In medieval lore, Unicorns were a symbol of chastity. It was said they could only be captured by virgins or those “uninterested in sex”, so I figured they’d make an excellent posterchild for Asexuals! And yes, I know that not all Asexuals are virgins, and chastity/abstinence and Asexuality are NOT the same thing, but I like Unicorns so I hope it’s alright for now.
And of course, you can’t have an LGBT post without mushrooms!
Reading Hagakure and for all its faults it did say “To lay down one’s life for another is the basic principle of homosexuality.” and I have thoughts and emotions both together
Listen, I was already obsessed with the color purple before I knew my sexuality, but now that I know I’m asexual I’ve become more powerful. My obsession with purple has trancended what I thought was possible.
I’m proud to be asexual, but its hard to be different from everyone else. I have to live in a society where any healthy relationship is expected to involve sex, even though I’m repulsed by the thought of that. This society is so oversexualized–You can hear it in every song and see it on every magazine cover–and I feel left out for not feeling the same as everyone else. I take pride in my asexuality, but can’t erase the thought that I might be wrong and might just be broken.
“Asexuality is beautiful, asexuality is a gift”, I tell myself, but that doesn’t stop the loneliness, the negativity, the self-loathing, from seeping into every aspect of my brain. Every aspect of my life.
I react to my aromanticism differently. My time is often spent hoping, praying, that I’ll be able to one day feel love for another person. Society has put a strong emphasis on romance, on the beauty of love, and unlike the asexual side of me that didn’t buy into our sexualized culture, the aromantic side of me dove into our culture of romance right from the start, and it’s strangling me.
I hear those around me talking of lovers, of future marriages, of heartbreak, and of all those things that come with romance. There’s one friend who I even believe has found her soulmate, her eternal sweetheart. Before I go to bed I dream of my imaginary lover. My soulmate. I dream of a love that might not ever find me, and that terrifies me.
“My aromanticism is not beautiful, it isn’t a gift,” I tell myself. I don’t try and shield myself from that perspective. I don’t love this side of myself, I never have. I can only pray that one day I will.
Why are there people that say that they’d rather be asexual? Rather be aromantic? I don’t feel like it’s as wonderful as they may think. The suffocating loneliness, the intense self-loathing for traits that are out of one’s control, the intense desire to love, to feel. It’s not beautiful. It’s a monster living in my heart and head, trying to tear apart my soul.
Everyone experiences asexuality and aromanticism differently, but the pain, the feeling of brokenness seems to be a trend at least at the start. Honestly, I don’t know where I was going with writing this. I’m not a good writer, I’m no poet, but I just felt the need to write, to put my heart and feelings on the table for all to see.
I know that asexuality and aromanticism are both beautiful things, but my perception has been warped by the society we live in. When all I hear about in songs, movies, and other media is love, when it’s such a popular topic for most people, it can be a hard pill to swallow to know that you might never be able to experience it. I will continue to seek the beauty in my orientation in order to fully appreciate and accept myself, and live my life in a way that’s best for me.
Does asexuality cause people to perceive their gender differently? Like, I’m not sure if I’m nonbinary or anything, but I definitely feel disconnected from my gender, and have noticed a trend that other asexual people are more likely to be nonbinary than other sexualities.
Does the lack of sexual attraction lead to that disconnection to your gender? As in, not being able to relate to the others of your assigned gender in the same way due to not being in touch with sexuality in the same way as them? It may also be similar with aromantics, I’m not sure.
If anyone has any further input or ideas on this I’d love to know because I’m really interested in this concept.
Can some wonderful ace/aro person please clarify to me that asexual means not feeling sexual attraction but it’s perfectly valid to be ace and also occasionally want to engage in sexual behaviours? Because that’s the only thing stopping me from realising I’m asexual
Disclaimer that you’re valid af if you’re sex repulsed or not and I love you
The secret is, some girls are asexual and/or aromantic, and since we’re attracted to the letter ‘a’ and ‘asshole’ starts with ‘a’… hoo mama how could we NOT
Explaining you gender identity or sexuality is good and helpful, but if you find yourself arguing about it stop.
If you find yourself arguing that you exist you’re talking to someone who doesn’t want to know. They just want to hurt or control you. You can argue if you want, but there is no obligation. Your personhood is not a topic of debate.
I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before I was bullied pretty heavily in high school and I’m also asexual. Needless to say there were a lot of factors that delayed my dating experience.
I wont go into much detail, but my thought was that my asexuality was caused by my experience in school, and that nobody actually felt those feelings until they went through a transition period I liked to call “the puppy love phase” and that because I didn’t go through it, my only option was to find a guy willing to wait until marriage for religious reasons, which is what may parents told me. I am not religious. I’m not against dating religious people, but the few times I’ve tried religion came up on the first date, and every single time he wanted to “save” me. My parents think I will have a lot in common with a nice religious boy, because religious men are so notoriously sex positive feminist lgbt+/allies. What could go wrong with a religious man and a passionately autonomous woman.
So the first and last relationship I was in was okay. I stayed with him because he was “nice” when in reality he was just non confrontational unassuming and not someone I percieved as at all threatening. He wasn’t compassionate and understanding, just friendly and polite, and my family loved him for it.
It started out online on PoF (which I don’t use anymore and wont until they allow bi/pan options). After meeting my fair share of thirsty suitors I was just about through. Most men were “sex positive”, but expected a woman who decided she owned her body to put out on the first date, because what reason other than religion would keep a woman from giving her body to a man. Then I met this guy who was sincere and genuine, thought naive little me.
Honestly in text he was quite charming. And in person he was actually kind of handsome. But, I felt nothing when meeting him no spark no butterflies. I just didn’t like him and honestly I was begging any gods that would listen that he wouldn’t try to kiss me at the end of the date.
So obviously after that we were through. Just kidding! This went on for three months.
First red light was on the first date. Aside from the fact that I was not attracted to him even romantically. He asks the dreaded online dating question.
“How does a girl like you need a dating app”
There is no right answer. It’s a diagnostic question “how bad is it” “how crazy are you” “what is your baggage”. Its toxic annoying and speaks volumes of the askers insecurity. I decided to answer briefly, but honestly. When I meet people they usually want sex early on, so it’s easier to figure out what people expect from a relationship if they spell it out on a dating app.
So I went home and my parents asked how it went and I told them about him, and that he was handsome and that he was nice. They were too thrilled that this boy “checked all the boxes” to hear me when I said I didn’t really like him. Its was about a week until he showed up at my work as a romantic gesture. It would have been creepy if he wasn’t a chill guy and I didn’t work in the public space, but still I didn’t like him and I had a lot of work to do, so it wasn’t exactly welcome.
3 weeks in he met my family I was planning to break up the, but I felt so guilty he was so “nice” my family loved him and he was cute. I really didn’t have what I felt was a legitimate reason to break up with him. So I went along for another month. We’d kissed a few times, he always tried to get tongue involved, but I wouldn’t let him, and the topic of sex came up so I decided to tell him what I thought at the time was the whole story. Due to my class my parents recent divorce and my fractured relationship with my mother, I didn’t like affection from anyone, it made me uncomfortable, and if I was going to get to a point where I was, I’d need a lot of time.
“I can’t be your therapist” he said.
And I agreed with him.
After all I’ve gone through after telling him I’m uncomfortable and exposing everything. He still couldn’t see passed his disappointment that he couldn’t get it yet, and I SYMPATHIZED with him. I changed I became more attentive I let him touch my breasts, even though I didn’t want to. He made me sit in his lap IN FRONT OF MY SISTERS, and my family STILL thought he was cute. He told me he loved me a month in and pressured me to say it back. I felt trapped.
It all came to a head when I told him I was getting a puppy (long time dream of mine, and he knew it) and he got jealous. He texted me non stop at work and my coworker and good friend told him to knock it off. She told him everything he did to me that was out of line. He went off on me over text. He told me our relationship was private, and that I shouldn’t have told my friend that he said he loved me. He said “I don’t think we can do this anymore” and oh my god the relief. I sent him a very not nasty break up text in return, and he backpedaled and stupid stupid me still believed I owed him a chance.
We fought that night over text, I felt bad and called him. If we were going to argue it should be with our own voices. I told him that my parents fought and went to bed angry and I didn’t want that for us. You know. The relationship a tricked myself into believing I wanted. He hung up. The next morning he texted me and told me he didn’t go to be angry and honestly, I was so pissed in that moment. He knew last night no matter how late that he wasn’t angry anymore, but let ME believe he was.
I was finally done. We went shopping for puppy supplies and he asked if the puppy was going to get affection from me. I said yes, I intended to mother him a little. Come one it’s a puppy. He was not happy. Rough with the breaks the door and when he put the shopping cart away he practically threw it. That was the first time I was ever afraid of him. I didn’t want to get back in the car. I told him a friend wanted to meet me down the block, and I knew he needed to go back to work. So he left I called a friend to pick me up. I broke up with him over text and never told my parents about his outbursts that day.
Anyways here’s the baby, he’s actually 3 in this pic
It terrifies me that there’s so much raging passion in the lgbt+ community that insist on marginalizing asexuals and implying that asexuals don’t deserve to have safe spaces. There’s still so much acephobia so I just wanna know which blogs are genuinely supportive and a safe space for asexuals
It terrifies me that there’s so much raging passion in the lgbt+ community that insist on marginalizing asexuals and implying that asexuals don’t deserve to have safe spaces. There’s still so much acephobia so I just wanna know which blogs are genuinely supportive and a safe space for asexuals
AHHH I AM GOING TO LOSE IT OKAY LISTEN UP EVERYONE, sex isn’t ✨"the closest way possible"✨ to connect to your partner, please don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything more intimate by not wanting to have sex (coming from an allosexual).
It makes me so proude to see a pride flag when i’m out because it reminds me of not being alone and how grateful i am to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community.
Our favorite friendly/cranky android stopping in to wish you happy Pride Month and showing off its asexual, aromantic, and agender pride! This was done as part of a series on the Murderbot Discord, so there’s probably a flood of Murderbot-in-a-AAA-shirt arts by different fan artists floating around now! Looking to compile them soon.
I decided to actually make this shirt design into a digital art, mostly because I want to wear this T-shirt and failing to find other people doing the design can no longer stop me >:D
Edit: Redbubble apparently has decided I’m a bot. Here’s a Teepublic link instead. I mostly made this because I wanted the shirt and didn’t order from Redbubble before they suspended me, so I’m ordering this one asap >:C https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/31375633-aaa-battery?store_id=1563018
