#im not enough

“You give and give, only to realize that there isn’t much left to give. So you shut doors and learn to heal, learn to give to yourself. Only to have people say you’re being selfish. But then retort and say “Fuck you, I am still going to give but to myself first."”

- g.d. (i’m important as well) 

“Depression is when you’re sitting in your room and you can hear people laughing and all you can do is listen in to their laughter and not bring yourself to feel happy with them. It is when you’re angry at your mom for brining you into a world to only want to escape it (even though it’s not her fault). It’s when you just want to cry but can’t because god forbid someone saw tear stains on your cheeks. So you just sit still in hope that the numbness will pass, and that you make it through the day. When all you want is to sleep and not wake up ever again.”

- g.d. (what depression is) 

“Sometimes people forget how hard it is to go about your day. How hard it is to just love someone who loves you. When depression hits you, you forget everything, you forget that you’re loved and you love someone. Because its this piece of shit that reminds you constantly that you are not worthy of the love. That whatever you set out to do won’t be enough because you are not enough. I feel this constantly. Some days I’ll be fine but days like today, breathing even crying feels like the biggest task in life. So, I want everyone to know, that this will pass and one day we will look back and realize that this had to happen, to let us become who we are today.”

- g.d (this will make us weak before it makes us strong)

It’s difficult for me to imagine the rest of my life without you. But I suppose I don’t have to imagine it… I just have to live it

I can’t keep a friend.

I can’t find a job.

I can’t study.

I can’t keep a smile.

I can’t eat.

I can’t make me happy.

I can’t be happy.

I don’t want to live anymore.

I’m such a waste of time.

I wish I could die without hurt my family, my babe, and my cats.

I wish something happen.

I really don’t want to die, but I can’t find something to live for.

I’m so sorry.