#incorrect kpop texts
Wooyoung: I don’t like what you did last week when we were eating :/
Yeosang: And I don’t like you :/
Jongho: Someone once told me that when we take off a leather jacket we reveal another one under our shirt and I haven’t got that out of my mind ever since
*ateez filming a reality show*
Narrator: It is a peaceful morning~
Yeosang, whispering: it never is
Director:CUUUT!!!
Hongjoong: Yesterday I overheard Yunho asking Mingi: “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Mingi replied: “Trust me, I know what I’m doing”
Hongjoong: I’ve never moved faster from one room to another in my whole life
*in a convenience store*
Seonghwa: What did you need to buy?
Jongho:Patience
Seonghwa: If something excites you and scares the hell out of you at the same time you should probably do it
Yunho, coming from the bedroom: TIME TO FUCK A BLENDER
Seonghwa:*faints*
Cashier: Sir, I’m afraid you have made a mistake.
Seonghwa: Yes, I know. Joining this group has indeed made me regret my life choices but they give me fun times too.
Cashier: No sir. You have gotten this pack of noodles which is just for display of the product but are you alright?
Mingi: has anyone seen hongjoong hyung?
Hongjoong, lying face down on the floor:present
KQ: what’s up hongjoong?
hongjoong, after dealing with the rest of ateez: my freaking blood pressure
Hongjoong: I’ve decided to leave my past behind
Hongjoong:
Hongjoong: if I own you any money, I’m sorry I’ve moved on
Yunho, rushing into seongjoong’s room: GUYS THE-
Hongjoong, whispering: SHHH Yeosang just fell asleep don’t wake him up
Yunho, whispering:Oh
Seonghwa, whispering: It’s ok what’s going on?
Yunho, still whispering: The dorm’s on fire
Yeosang: Death is just an updated version of sleep. It’s sleep, but without ads or breaks.
Yunho: Isn’t it weird how some people are born with secret talents?
Yeosang: I stopped listening after “born”
Seonghwa: what would you look for in a relationship?
Yeosang: a way out
Hongjoong: What’s bad about meeting new people?
Jongho: they are new
Yeosang: they are people
Wooyoung: i’m meeting them
Haechan:hello 911
Operator:hello what’s your emergency
Haechan:these men wouldn’t stop laughing
Operator:ok yeah that’s annoying but not a crime
Haechan:wtf is manslaughter then
Mark:wait we can’t go in there, it says 18+ only and there’s two of us
Jaemin:you’re so dumb
Jaemin:just invite more people
Lucas: I’m an expert at identifying birds
Kun:ok what about those ones flying over there?
Lucas:yup, they’re all birds
Ten: have u ever smelled upsexy?
Johnny:smelled what
Ten:upsexy
Johnny:what the fuck is that
Ten:what the fuck is what
Johnny:what’s upsexy
Ten:nothin much hbu
Haechan:who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Taeyong:you’re a hazard to society
Jaemin:and a coward. do 20
Lucas: old people burp and be like “thank you god”
Yangyang:they probably thought it was their last breath
*both turn to look at kun*
Kun:I never thanked any higher power after burping so y’all can turn back around
Yangyang:sure gramps
Haechan:I hope I don’t wake up
Doyoung:same
Haechan:see u in the next life
Doyoung:oh no I meant I hope you don’t wake up. i’m doing just fine
Mark:I used to be passive aggressive, but now I’m going to try and be aggressively passive
Sungchan:wait what
Mark:don’t mess with me bitch i’ll fucking forgive you do not test me
[johnten texting]
Johnny: hey I’ve got something to show you ;)
Ten:you hit “send” on that picture of mike wazowski and I hit “end” on our relationship
Johnny:I don’t have anything to show you
[nct texting]
Taeyong:it takes 45 muscles to frown, but only 10 muscles to smile. i think we should all be a little happier :)
Yuta:frown all day. lose weight. get ripped. gainz.
Johnny:there are two types of people…
Johnny:money aside, what’s something that you need right now?
Jaehyun:the money you just put aside
Winwin: raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…
Yangyang:*from across the room* STICKING MY DICK IN ROTISSERIE CHICKEN
Lucas:can I play some music
Uber driver: sure
Lucas:*pulling out a tuba* do you like veggie tales?
Xiaojun:yangyang has no survival skills. the need to win has replaced them
Winwin:yeah right
Xiaojun:no really, watch
Xiaojun: hey yangyang, i’ll race you to the bottom of the stairs
Yangyang:*throws himself out of the window*
[wayv texting]
Yangyang:dead leafs? that’s called yard salad now. and it’s the new food trend
Kun:*leaves
Yangyang:where are u going
Kun:I-
Mark Tuan: this might get super weird, seeing as we have the same name
Mark Lee: haha oh really? what’s your name?
Mark Tuan: ….i’m sure you can guess
Mark Lee: really? hmm
Mark Lee: wait
Mark:they’re all so cute but i don’t know if I could take one away from its mother and siblings
Pumpkin patch employee:ok
Lucas:KUN IS LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD WHAT’S YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Kun:b positive
Lucas, stressed: IM TRYING
Jaemin:do you support gay rights?
Jungwoo:I am gay
Jaemin:he’s dodging the question
[nct texting]
Johnny:do you know who’s cute? read the first word ;)
Ten:who the hell is Do
