#sad boi hours
Wake me up when September ends
I am so ugly.
I am so fat.
I disgust myself.
I feel like I can’t stay strong for much longer and that scares me.
Sometimes I don’t want to pretend I am strong. Sometimes I want someone to hug me and say “It’s alright..”.
I never thought missing someone could be this painful. But here I am: crying at 4 am.
I’m so tired of being second best
stay & smoke in my dreams tonight
What a lie, a beautiful lie, the deepest one in the sea of lies looking like a beautiful mermaid. The beautiful lie that starts with love and ends with you.
she’s the type of girl that can be so hurt, but can still look at you and smile.
Pls no
It has become quite easy for me to hyper fixate on the self deprecating thoughts and spiral into the abyss that has become my mind.. a very dark place to reside.
Why are feelings so hard for me to feel
They are hard for me to feel because I was never shown how.
I was shown how to pretend they don’t exist, to drown them with drinks, to choke on my tears instead of letting them flow.
Master of ignoring my feelings.
The longer that I ignore them the bigger they get and the bigger they get the harder it becomes to hold back the tears begging to come out of my eyes
And I cry
I don’t know how to cry
I shut my eyes
And clench my teeth
Until my mouth rips itself open and the wails break out of their cages
And I cry
The tears run down my cheeks
Like it’s a fucking race
First one to the floor wins.
I don’t feel better after I cry
I feel empty and alone
And left with nothing inside where the tears used to hide.
I don’t know how to cry
It’s uncomfortable and foreign to me
I only cry when I am alone
Driving down the freeway in the dark
Always feels like the right time
The music is almost loud enough to drown my gasping for breath.
To drown my grasping at death.
I don’t know why I cry…
I love when it rains when I’m sad
Like the sky knows how I feel.
The thunder rolls
as if to yell the words I cannot speak.
The lightning strikes
like the anger lights
me up.
And soon the storm passes
The sun will come out again.
I will be okay.
