#tua shitpost

imakeficrequestsandthendisappear:

is there a parallel between Five falling in love with a mannequin and Reginald Fuckgreeves building a robot that looks like his ex girlfriend or am i just seeing patterns in the void 

and of course there’s like the obvious difference that Dolores was always an object that Five projected a personality on to to solve his loneliness. He gave her like likes and preferences and treated her with a level of care that we would expect from a human to another human. Logically Five knows she is an object but emotionally he treats her as person with agency. 

Alternatively, Reginald takes the visage of a real vibrant person and turns her into a hollow object. Robot Grace performs all the tasks of a doting wife and mother, but she’s got the personal agency of a rumba. Reginald sees no person in her (we don’t really see them interact that much) but she is a tool to preform a function, take care of the kids. Reginald also doesn’t respect personhood in …anybody? the kids are means to an end. Babies can be bought. several nannies die and he just keeps replacing them. So grace isn’t like different from them, but she is the one that he “made”. she doesn’t have the capacity to disobey him (like the kids do) and he likes it that way.  

(and grace like has her own arch in the day that never happened that like, is important but more in how it relates to her and less on how it reflects on Reginald. So i love her and he is a bastard rat man)

but like most important is that Five lets Dolores go at the end of Season 1. He grows and accepts human relationships again (and then season 2 fucks it all up again). But Reginald never lets go of Grace. He makes her kill him and then not be able to admit that to the kids, to the point where they seriously consider “killing” her (disconnecting her from the wifi). She is a tool until the very end, and only when he is dead she is able to develop some agency when the kids start treating her like a person. 

is there a parallel between Five falling in love with a mannequin and Reginald Fuckgreeves building a robot that looks like his ex girlfriend or am i just seeing patterns in the void 

k guys if the hotel is in tua season 3 i want a lot of references to The Shining 

but especially i want a scene where Five rides around on a big wheel tricycle 

how quickly could we put a TUA Christmas Carol adaptation into production

Featuring: Five as tiny old man Scrooge

Delores as the ghost of christmas past

The handler as christmas present 

and Reginald as christmas future  

things we don’t talk enough about: when luther sees vanya in season 2 the fIRST THING he does is sincerely apologize for how he hurt her and told her basically that she deserves to prioritize her happiness over their shitty upbringing and he is so happy for her but he lacks the interpersonal skills to articulate these feelings so it’s basically

sorry about season 1, your girlfriend seems nice tho

and vanya’s like

uh who the fuck are you

does anyone remember that weird scene in TUA season 1 (*season 1 episode 10, the opening scene) where it flashes back to reginald (pre-umbrella academy) sitting by a bed with this lady (who i guess turned out to be og grace)(*apparently this is not grace, really all blonde ladies look the same to me) (*also maybe this takes place in the 1800′s ??? ) (*or some peopl said that this doesn’t take place on earth and/or this lady is also an alien? but why would they be wearing human skin suits? idk)

and like, she says something (my poor braincell cant remember) and then like, peacefully dies and a bunch of glowy lights float out of her (*apperently reginald opens a jar and the lights come out, not from the lady) and out the window into the horizen (*also she is the original owner of vanya’s violin)

(did i hallucinate this scene? cause no one talks about it and i’ve never seen a gif-set)

anyway, like was that how the 43 kids were born? not to make this gross, but did reginald (as an alien) impregnate this lady, she dies, and releases alien hybrid spores into the world. which then found available women around the world to gestate and birth them? and they have powers because they are alien human hybrids?(*based on the jar information, the impregnating bit seems unlikely) 

does that make reginald technically the father of all his adopted kids? 

and then, stricken with guilt, reginald goes out to buy as many of them as he can to become super heroes, as some way to like, twisted way to protect the world in her honor?

((and then made her a robot lady and abused all his kids))

* edits made from people in the notes

i think its weird that we act like Luther is the golden child when it’s very clear that Reginald’s favorite child was obviously Pogo

not to make demands but i want more fics about the hargreeves siblings learning about their birth moms / bio families.

like in an angsty way, these are the people that sold them into a life of exploitation and abuse. did their moms ever hear about the umbrella academy? did they ever regret it? but also they didn’t sign up to give sudden birth to a supernatural baby. 

(also do are the kids in any way biologically related to the moms? like is it ever explained or did they just appear there without any genetic relation)

But like, where are they from? tell me about their lives

I think its Vanya’s mom in episode 1 in russia, and she looked like 16/17 ish. like, she was basically a child and had no say in this happening to her. who can blame her for not wanting to suddenly be a teen mom in russia in the late 80′s. 

maybe Five finds out his mom had the same dimples or drank 3 cups of coffee every morning. what if in his travels through time, Five met/saw her before he was born and she like roasted him or something

what if Luther’s mom already had a bunch of kids (making luther the little brother) and couldn’t afford a surprise baby, and some billionaire offered her $$$. how could she say no to that

Or Ben’s mom really wanted to raise him, but was unable to because of his stomach monster. maybe she didn’t survive very long after he was born.

and Klaus’s mom is probably haunted for the rest of her life. like, whatever draws ghosts to klaus stuck to her a little bit, and with no powers to manage it just completely destroys her mental state. maybe she passed down the addictive personality that klaus struggles with. (what if he met her as a ghost)

Diego i think got abandoned pretty soon after birth, probably to an orphanage but Reginald found him pretty fast. anyway, maybe thats why he favored grace so much because he was missing that parent-child bond for so long. 

Allison probably spent a lot of time thinking about her mom / bio family as a kid. she seems like she just really wanted to be a regular teenager with a regular loving family. which makes it so much worse when she got famous and tried to track down her birth fam, only to find out that they want nothing to do with her

i don’t know how to convey this to normal people but

i want a redo of the klave scenes in TUA season 1, but this time Dave has a 70′s porn star mustache 

AND KLAUS IS INTO IT

my sister is a BTS stan and im trying to convince her that next season of TUA Five should do a big fight scene to Dynamite 

don’t mind me just keeping a running tally of my tua theories/headcanons inspired by greek mythology 

Reginald Hargreeves >> Kronos eating his children  ((metaphorically))

Klaus >>> Orpheus season 3 

Five & Reginald >>> Pygmalion parallels 

not to have a super dark theory but do we really think season 3 Reginald Hargreeves just… left the alternate umbrella kids alone?

like, in 1989 he knows that 7 of the 43 kids came back from the future and were overall pretty disappointing and also kinda want to kill him. So the answer? don’t adopt them. 

but then they are just out in the world with unchecked powers, somewhere he can’t keep track of them. plus, Reginald is defo some kind of pathological narcissist that would have bought as many of those god damn babies he could get his hands on. any means to his ends, right?

so there are too many variables by just letting the umbrella kids grow up independently. why would he let these 7 human disasters even maybe ruin his perfect super hero team?

So in season three, i don’t think the umbrella kids are going to be able to find their alternate reality selves. i think 7 of the 43 kids went missing shortly after birth. and Reginald knows where they are, one way or another. 

Judge: for the murder of 14 people how do you plead

Diego: your honor I would like to plead oopsie daisies.

Sissy:*does anything*

Vanya: –and my heart went O O P S

Luther: how would you guys describe Five?

Vanya:he’s clever, brave, resourceful—

Klaus: tiny, feral, and ready to throw hands with God.

Klaus starting his cult:

Luther: Can you be quiet? I’m trying to think

Diego: Don’t worry, take your time. I know doing something for the first time can be difficult sometimes

7-umbr3ll4s-v1b1n-1n-th3-str33ts:

Five, to Vanya: You know how father gets. It’s important to take necessary precautions when dealing with him.

Five, blowing an air horn an inch from Reginald’s face: Get fucked

Okay but who’s your favorite Swede, mine’s All-That’s-Left-Was-A-Foot

But seriously i feel so bad for Five, he’s too old for this shit, just let the man woo mannequins and drink his coffee its not his fault his siblings all share one fucking brain cell and never listen to him and he has to keep stopping the apocalypse every other week

Season 2 Luther: *admitting his mistakes, apologizing to Vanya, bonding with Diego, acting like the himbo big brother he always should have been*

Me: 

Allison: Were you dropped too much as a child or what?

Vanya: Jokes on you, I wasn’t being held at all.

Reginald: Tomorrow is garbage day.

Klaus: Huh, can’t believe they have a whole day dedicated to you.